Etiquette and the Blind

All people we meet need to be treated with respect and dignity, regardless of physical challenges they may face. The etiquette changes with each physical challenge, however. The blind can participate in more activities than one may think. Keep that in mind when socializing or doing business with someone who is blind.

Q. My father has just become blind, and I notice people seem to treat him differently than they used to. Could you give me some advice on how the blind should be treated? - R. V., Dallas, Texas

A. When you are introduced to a blind person he may make a small gesture to shake your hand. Make an effort to find his hand because he can't find yours. Always tell who you are. Never play “Guess who this is?” Use the blind person's name because he can't see that you are directing a remark toward him, say, “Harry, what do you think President Ford will do about oil and the economy?” You needn't raise your voice because blindness and deafness are two different things. If you want to ask the blind person a question address him and not his companion. Sighted persons often ask a man’s wife, “What does Harry like to drink?” Waitresses often make this mistake. 

If you are in a restaurant with a blind person you may want to read the menu to him. He may ask for help in cutting his meat. Follow William Goodman's suggestion in an article for “New Outlook for the Blind”; Unless you are treating, let the blind person carry his or her own check and money to the cashier. Locating food on a plate is often difficult for the newly blind. 

“The Seeing Eye” recommends that if you are serving food at home you think of the plate as the face of the clock, with meat from four to eight o'clock, vegetables from nine to twelve, and perhaps fruit from twelve to four. When you are having a blind person over for the first time, you might show him where various rooms of the house are. Make sure there are no objects on. the floor, which might trip him, and that doors aren't left ajar for the blind person to bump into. You can help a blind person sit down by guiding his hand to the seat and back of the chair. 

If you are helping a blind person walk down the street, let him hold onto your arm just above the elbow. Let him walk about a half a pace behind you. B. lind people can participate in more of your activities than you think. Some blind people go to the theatre and movies, dance, swim, skate, bowl, play board games and cards. Don't avoid a person who has gone blind. Continue to enjoy his friendship. – Maureen Elena Riordan, 1975

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded-Age Tablescape Etiquette

Victorian, gilded-age hostess would undoubtedly have these ingenious sets on hand for entertaining any tremble-prone guests. Specifically designed for a person who suffered from “the trembles,” trembleuse cups and saucers were “spillproof” combinations. Created to avoid spillage of hot liquids by a trembling hand, the deep inset of the saucer in which the cup firmly rests and the saucer’s very wide border, work beautifully together for this antique, Dresden china trembleuse set.

A Table Decoration

A very beautiful table decoration was seen at a dinner party given last week by a hostess noted for her taste and originality. The cloth, which was of the finest damask, displayed a design of ferns, the center figure being an exquisitely drawn wreath of fern fronds, while the border was formed by sprays of the most delicate maiden-hair variety, had been ordered of a great linen house in Belfast; with special reference to the decoration of living ferns, intended to be used for a “summer dinner party.” 

The table was circular, and in the middle stood one of the giant tulip vases now so fashionable. This graceful receptacle was filled with the loveliest and rarest specimens ot ferns, the spreading, feathery fronds reaching far over the heads of the assembled company, and forming, as it were, a vacant tent through whose interstices shone the electric lights of the chandelier. No candles, no flowers were used, but each sliver dish was surrounded by a wreath of ferns, which kept perfectly fresh during the serving of the course. All the crystal ware was exquisitely engraved with ferns, while the Dresden china service gave the one touch of warmth and color with its pure rose and gold tints. An ideal July dinner decoration was the universal comment, and far more effective than the elaborated floral banquets which have prevailed duriug the past season. —Boston Herald, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia