Good Breeding in Teachers, Part 2

I have one perpetual and bitter quarrel with slang, and that is because of its tendency to impoverish and bankrupt the English of the user. Few young people can become proficient in both slang and correct English, and too often they become skilled in the wrong one. Be sure your sin will find you out; you cannot use slang and slovenly English in daily conversation without paying the penalty. The goblin of habit will get you.

Observance of Social Forms

Of equal, or perhaps of greater importance than personal appearance, are personal manners. To be well-mannered stamps one as a gentleman or a lady, and to be a gentleman or a lady, in the true meaning of the terms, is worthy the ambition and effort of every one. The difference between a community of savages and a community of cultured people does not lie wholly in the latter's intellectual superiority, but fully as much in its respect for the gentle courtesies and refinements of life. Many estimable people are totally regardless of even the most obvious social forms. I have known admirable teachers who did not think it worth while to return calls, to send acceptances or regrets in reply to formal invitations, to give heed to be prompt when guests at a dinner, or to make “party calls” afterwards on a hostess. To be remiss in such social courtesies is to cause comment and to reflect on one's good breeding. Young men are especially sinners against the rules of social etiquette. They are often quite oblivious of them, or they look upon them with a species of mild contempt, as something quite beneath the attention of a strong, independent manhood. This attitude of mind is wholly wrong and limits the possibilities of anyone who holds it. Society will not and should not tolerate a boor. A person who has so little regard for cultivated society that he will not attempt to qualify himself to become an agreeable member, should not expect much consideration, and certainly should not be a teacher. I am not pleading for snobbery or foppery, but for culture and refinement in men and women.

Good English

If one should give heed to his manners and dress, much more should he give heed to his speech. It would be difficult to over- estimate the importance to a teacher of a command of English that is at once correct, effective and graceful. A great thought or a fine sentiment in slovenly English is like a genius in soiled linen; our attention is attracted from the thought to its garb as from the genius to his clothes. I have one perpetual and bitter quarrel with slang, and that is because of its tendency to impoverish and bankrupt the English of the user. Few young people can become proficient in both slang and correct English, and too often they become skilled in the wrong one.

Be sure your sin will find you out; you cannot use slang and slovenly English in daily conversation without paying the penalty. The goblin of habit will get you. At the very moment when you desire to appear at your best your speech will betray you. How many times have I seen young men and women humiliated (at least they should have been) by using slang in company where such language was most inappropriate! Many times the teachers in normal schools are compelled to criticise the use of slang on the part of practice teachers. I have known students, and high school graduates at that, who were withdrawn from practice teaching because of their inability to use good English. Slang expressions kept creeping into their conversation in the schoolroom. The goblin of habit caught them. On the other hand, few characteristics of a teacher are more quickly noticed by a good superintendent than his ability to use good English; and as I have already said, this ability counts for promotion.

Even were it otherwise, I should still put in a plea for our noble language and urge upon every teacher the duty of preserving to future generations its dignity and its beauty, undiminished and uncorrupted. Our mother tongue is one of our great inheritances. It is a priceless treasure. It is incomparable as a medium of expressing every shade of human thought and emotion. It proved equal to the genius of a Shakespeare and a Milton, a Thackeray and a Webster, an Emerson and a Tennyson. This language, which more than any other seems destined to become the world language, it is the especial duty of the school to keep pure and uncorrupted; but the schools will fail in this responsibility if the teachers are slack and indifferent in their use of their Esther tongue. To be a master of good English should be a goal of daily effort.– From “The Personality of the Teacher,” by Charles McKenny, 1910

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Edwardian Era Etiquette and Slang

In the classic film, “My Fair Lady,” Audrey Hepburn’s “Elizabeth Dolittle” had to learn, among other things, to gain possession of her “H’s” and stop using slang. In one funny scene, her excitement got the best of her, and her slang colorfully flew out of her mouth. 

Shun Slang

Slang is a thing which can be indulged in only by those who are perfectly secure of their social status, though, on the other hand, an over fastidious pronunciation of words and a studious correctness of articulation are apt to suggest the idea that we have only lately come into possession of our “H’s” and our grammar and have, in consequence, to be guarded in our conversation.– Good Form, Riverside Enterprise, 1911

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Tip to Latins

 

“The original smoking jacket was, in fact, a robe de chambre, or dressing gown. As international trade grew in the early 1600’s and tobacco became a part of men’s lives, smoking jackets became part of a gentlemanly wardrobe in an effort to protect his clothes. This was a tie when men’s wardrobes weren’t nearly the size that they tend to be today, so protecting one’s sartorial investments carried an even greater importance than it does now.
“At first, it was only appropriate for a man to be seen in a smoking jacket in front of his family, or perhaps in front of his personal butler (as you might imagine, only men of means would wear these).
By the 1800’s, the jacket began to morph from a robe style covering (complete with sash belt, like a modern bathrobe) to a shorter style resembling a dinner jacket. It was around this time that the tradition of retiring into one’s study for a smoke and a port became common. “The rising popularity of Turkish tobacco at the time is directly linked with this phenomenon.As dinner jackets continued to replace the tailcoat for dinner, the smoking jacket too gained popularity. Gentlemen began wearing versions that had different closures (not a sash) so that they could be worn to an actual dinner, not just afterwards. As the 1950’s approached, male celebrities like Frank Sinatra, Cary grant, and Fred Astaire all wore smoking jackets regularly with their black tie attire, and did so outside of the home.” - Bespoke Unit  – Gomez Addams (Raul Julia) in a stylish smoking jacket.
–Image source, Pinterest

Problem in Censorship

WASHINGTON, April 8 — The Children's Bureau of the Department of Labor is trying to figure how to tell Latin-American delegates to a conference early in May to bring “black tie” without runnning afoul of cable censors, the knowledge of social slang of the delegates or the Controller General.

Most of the delegates will come by airplane and have to be economical of baggage, so they have been asking Washington by cable: “Shall we bring frac, smoking or both?” This means “tails or dinner coats,” but if the bureau replies “smoking sufficient,” it feels that the censors will think it is code and stop the message. If it says “black tie” the Latins won't understand. And if it goes into detail, the Controller General might reject the bill as a needless extravagance.

No one has decided yet how the situation can be met. –The New York Times, 1942

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Awfully Charming Gilded Age Slang

A very “pooty” gown on the cover of the March 1893 Delineator Magazine — “Pretty is no longer pretty, but ‘pooty.’ V., the famous man milliner, has caught the trick from his Duchess customers. You hear him talk glibly of ‘pooty gowns’ and ‘pooty tails.’ ‘Gorgeous’ or ‘deadly’ are the correct adjectives to use when speaking of the weather. Nowadays it is quite customary for educated people to talk of ‘the Dook.’”

How Fashionable People Talk

There are fashions in speech as well as fashions in clothes. Everything in society just now is either “awfully ghastly” or “awfully charming, don’t you know.” If your new bonnet isn't awfully ghastly it must be awfully charming; and if Miss Fourstars’ singing at the local concert the other evening wasn't awfully charming, then it must certainly have been awfully ghastly. Pretty is no longer pretty, but “pooty.” 

V., the famous man milliner, has caught the trick from his Duchess customers. You hear him talk glibly of “pooty” gowns and “pooty” tails. “Gorgeous” or “deadly” are the correct adjectives to use when speaking of the weather. Nowadays it is quite customary for educated people to talk of “the Dook.” In quite aristocratic circles the final “G” is dropped in many words. They talk of killin,’ shootin,’ talkin,’ singing.’ 

I suppose the next thing we shall hear will be that they have ceased to aspirate their “H’s” for the excellent reason that it has become so common for ordinary folks to do so. But, after all, these examples of affectation, ridiculous though they sound, are not quite so bad as the mincing style of affectation fashionable in days gone by. Mincing is now chiefly confined to old maids or young girls under 20. Other folks don't seem to get me for it. In these days of push “side,” teens to go further than mincing manners. — Pall Mall Budget, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Slang Barred in Boston Schools

My advice to the children in Boston schools is: Don't be slovenly in the use of English. Slovenliness is the result of habit, and once tolerated, it is likely to cling to all of us until mature life. – Jeremiah E. Burke

“Hello” Barred in Boston

 According to Superintendent of Schools Burke the Word is Both Undignified and Slovenly

Do not say “Hello” when you pick up the telephone. Avoid “Nope" and “Yep“ in your conversation when you mean “No” or “Yes.” If Boston is going to sustain its reputation as the “Athens of America” it must quit the use of these barbarisms, according to Jeremiah E. Burke, new Superintendent of Boston schools. It is more in accordance with Boston culture to say something like "This is Mr. Smith talking; with whom am I conversing?” 

“There are many words,” Superintendent Burke says, “to use in place of that undignified and impolite word ‘Hello’.” It is condemned in Boston schools, particularly in classes in salesmanship, where knowledge of dignified and grammatical English is essential. “There is no excuse for the use of ‘Nope’ and ‘Yep’ in conversation. I believe that if Boston school children will check themselves in their use, parents at home will gradually dispense with their use. My advice to the children in Boston schools is: ‘Don't be slovenly in the use of English. Slovenliness is the result of habit, and once tolerated, it is likely to cling to all of us until mature life.’” –Boston American, 1922

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Military Academy Etiquette

The Appeal of the Military Academy

A real military school for young boys, where the little fellows can engage in all the activities of military school life without being the tail of a high school kite, appeals strongly to the average parent. If it did not, the story of rapid growth shown in them could never be told. 

Boys may start at a Military Academy in the first grade and take the regular school studies until prepared for high school. In the first three grades at Page Military Academy, they will be under lady teachers and after that men teachers who are college graduates. The classes are so small that students complete a grade and a half during the year and to do less is the exception rather than the rule.

Companionship

One of the strongest factors in moulding a boy's character is the kind of playmates he has. There are no "tough"' boys in the school and they cannot become so while there. The personnel of the student body is of a very high order. There are several boys in this little group that seem to have the elements that will some day make them famous men. 

Home Training 

The boys are given the same careful attention in regard to their bathing, food and etiquette that they receive in the most refined homes. Their clothing is looked after carefully. A father recently appealed to a woman of his acquaintance to look after his motherless son. "Send him to Page Military Academy," said she. "They will look after him better than I possibly could."

Etiquette 

An unceasing effort is made to instruct the cadets in regard to the usages in polite society. Their table manners are carefully scrutinized, and there is just enough supervision of their play to insure they are not going far wrong, without seeming to infringe on natural liberties. A constant war is waged against an indiscriminate use of slang. It is intended that the school life shall be home life: that each boy shall feel free to do whatever he would be allowed to do in a well-regulated home, subject only to such restrictions as are imperative on account of the large number present.

The Page Millitary Academy in Los Angeles has grown rapidly because its patrons have been pleased. When parents have seen their children increasing in mental vigor, developing robust constitutions, attaining high ideals and all the while living happy, healthy, wholesome lives, they have told their friends, who have in turn passed on the story. Thus the school has grown, and it will continue to grow as parents realize the advantages offered. — Los Angeles Herald, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and New Anglophiles

Have you heard? In America, to “be English” is undoubtedly the social fashion of the present. But one should be shocked by the language!

A Bit of Anglomania

To “be English” is undoubtedly the social fashion of the present, but, as a critic of this species of affectation remarks: “American women do not, unfortunately, seem to catch the best spirit of anglicism, but, like parrots and children, pick up that objectionable slang which seems the perquisite of the fast London set, and of which that circle should be left in undisturbed possession. To hear such words from a pretty mouth as ‘I feel awfully seedy,’ ‘It's beastly hot,’ or ‘Don't tell me such rot,’ is shocking to those who are not accustomed to such speech.” — Los Angeles Herald, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Royal Etiquette and Slanguage

One monarch's, “Oh, cucumbers!” is another monarch's, “Shut up!” Every era’s slang is different.

Princess Scorns Etiquette Rules and Drops into Slang

When royalty unbends, as royalty so often loves to do and takes on the parlance of the common people with spontaneous naturalness, the common people chuckle and are well pleased. At least this is true today in Bulgaria. 

It is being related that Princess Nadejda, sister of King Boris, was listening recently to the dignified matron of the royal court, Madame Peatrava-Tchomakova, telling something that purported to be true, but for the princess the earmarks of fiction were too apparent. 

Nadejda stood it as long as she could, and then burst out with “Oh, cucumbers!” There was a burst of laughter which almost drowned Nadejda’s quick apology, for court etiquette had been gravely damaged. The expression of the young princess might be rendered in English by, “Oh, rats!” — (AP) Euxinograd, Bulgaria, 1924 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue

The mistresses of a brothel were known as “Abbesses” 

Now you too can recognize an ‘abbess’ from a ‘yellow boy’ :  Slang and vulgar language have probably been around since language itself, but when soldier Francis Grose’s, the “Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue,” was first published in 1811, it surprisingly was a runaway success. Below are some favorites:

ABBESS: Mistress of a brothel.

BABES IN THE WOOD: Criminals in stocks or pillory.

BLACK INDIES: Newcastle upon Tyne, whose rich coal mines prove an Indies to the proprietors.

BLACKLEGS: A gambler or sharper on the turf or in the cockpit: so called, perhaps, from their appearing generally in boots; or else from game-cocks whose legs are always black.

BLIND CUPID: Backside.

BOB TAIL: Lewd woman. Also an impotent man or a eunuch.

BREAD AND BUTTER FASHION: One upon the other. "John and his maid were caught lying bread and butter fashion."

CAT: Common prostitute.

Drawing of street Prostitutes, London 

CODS: The scrotum. Also a nick name for a curate: a rude fellow meeting a curate, mistook him for the rector, and accosted him with the vulgar appellation of Bol***ks the rector, No, Sir, answered he; only Cods the curate, at your service.

COD'S HEAD: A stupid fellow.

COLD PIG: Punishment inflicted on "sluggards" who lie too long in bed — pulling off all the bedclothes and throwing cold water on them.

COW-HEARTED: Fearful.

DOCK: Lie with a woman.

DUGS: Woman's breasts.

ELBOW SHAKER: A dice player.

GANDER MONTH: That month in which a man's wife-lies in: wherefore, during that time, husbands plead a sort of indulgence in matters of gallantry.

GLAZIER: Someone who breaks windows to steal goods for sale.

GOSPEL SHOP: Church.

HEMPEN WIDOW: One whose husband was hanged.

HOYDON: Romping girl.

INEXPRESSIBLES: Breeches.

JOLLY: The head.

KING'S PICTURES: Coin, money.

LEFT-HANDED WIFE: Concubine. Based on an ancient German custom where, when a man married his concubine, or a woman greatly his inferior, he gave her his left hand.

NOISY DOG RACKET: Stealing brass knockers from doors.

OVEN: Great mouth.

PIECE: Wench. A girl who is more or less active and skillful in the amorous congress.

POISONED: Big with child.

QUEER PLUNGERS: Cheats who throw themselves into the water in order that they may be taken up by their accomplices, who carry them to one of the houses appointed by the Humane Society for the recovery of drowned persons, where they are rewarded by the society with a guinea.

RESURRECTION MEN: Persons employed by the students in anatomy to steal dead bodies out of churchyards.

"Grave shields" like the patented design above, and "burial safes" like the one patented below, were expensive. Grave sites were commonly robbed, for scientific research on body parts. Families protected their loved ones if they could afford to do so. 

Body snatchers were known as ‘Resurrection Men’ 

RUM DOXY: Fine wench.

SHOOT THE CAT: Vomit from excess of liquor.

SHY COCK: One who keeps within doors for fear of bailiffs.

SNOOZING KEN: Brothel.

STRIP ME NAKED: Gin.

TIT: Horse or smart little girl.

TWIDDLE-DIDDLES: Testicles.

TWIDDLE POOP: Effeminate-looking fellow.

UNLICKED CUB: Rude, uncouth young fellow.

VAMPER: Stockings.

WINDOW PEEPER: Collector of window tax.

XANTIPPE: Socrates's wife, a shrew or scolding wife.

YELLOW BOYS: Guineas.


ZEDLAND: Great part of the West Country where the letter Z is substituted for S.

You can interject almost anything in a foreign tongue into an English conversation and what in English might be considered crude becomes in another language at least bearable. 

Amy Vanderbilt Etiquette of Foreign Phrases

"There are words which, politely speaking, are more acceptable in a foreign tongue than in our own sometimes brusque one. It is, therefore, possible to speak of a lady's derridre, the baby's po-po (German and French baby talk for "fanny"), a pot de chambre (decorators seize on antique examples as perfect flower vases these days), a crime passionel, a cochon, a file de joie, a maison close. In fact, if you want, you can interject almost anything in a foreign tongue into an English conversation and what in English might be considered crude becomes in another language at least bearable. This phraseological distinction is also a device often used in best sellers to spare the ignorant and to give those who can translate some slight feeling of naughty superiority."

Contributor Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for nearly a quarter of a century, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette. She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years.