Etiquette Humor from 1909

Ladies should precede in the theater, but follow the gentleman in church…?

Editor Bok of the Ladies’ Home Journal, who instructs his readers in etiquette, says that a lady entering a theatre should precede her escort down the aisle, but in entering a church she should follow him. 

Possibly Editor Bok can give another reason for this, but it looks as though he were afraid the escort would get away from church if the lady were not between him and the door. -The Press Democrat, 1909

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of  The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Humor and a U.S. President

Official etiquette forbids divulgence of Presidential conversations, but a friend of a friend of a prominent inmate of the White House says that a little bird told him that Mark Twain's name came up in some connection… — Public domain image of Colonel George Harvey

There are those who would have given no small sum to have been within hearing distance while President Wilson and Colonel George Harvey were conversing in the White House. Mutual friends used to say that it was as good as a play to watch the flashes that sprang from a crossing of those two keenest of minds over a luncheon table.

Official etiquette forbids divulgence of Presidential conversations, but a friend of a friend of a prominent inmate of the White House says that a little bird told him that Mark Twain's name came up in some connection, and Colonel Harvey remarked casually that there still live persons who had never heard of the great humorist. The President found this almost incredible.

“Oh, yes,” the Colonel continued. “Only yesterday, here in Washington, I met such a one. He was an office-seeker. He declared positively he had never heard Tom Sawyer. No, he had never heard of him either.” 

“Nor Huck Finn?” 

“No, never.” 

“Nor Pudd’nhead Wilson?” 

“Oh, Lord yes,” he ejaculated, “I voted for him."

And the President's roar of delight did not diminish in the least when the Colonel continued softly. “And,” he added, wistfully, “that's all the good it done me.” — Chico Record, 1914

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A bit of Finger Bowl Etiquette Humor

Load! Aim! Fire! 

The Deadly War on the Finger Bowl!!

Gen. T. Bone Riley Hurries to Defend Baby Bathtubs at Eat Counters

Led by T. Bone Riley and Sheriff Hammel, gastronomical Los Angeles is threatening revolution and secession from California.

Mr. Riley, who is known to "pork and beaners" throughout world and the said to be the innocent model for Van Loan fiction, claims the state is interfering with life and liberty and the pursuit of cleanliness.

Sheriff Hammel has doubled the guards at the county jail and declares his prisoners shall never be subjected to unnecessary torture.

THIS IS THE REASON

A demand has been made before the state board of health by State Sanitary Inspector Edward T. Ross that a regulation be adopted specifying that no finger bowl shall be used more than once.

Finger bowls of the ordinary type gather germs, the inspector says, and the only way to preserve the health of the human race is either to stop eating outside of your own kitchen or compel cafés to supply never-to-be-used-again finger bowls.

Finger bowls — for the benefit of those who do not know — are small tubs in which one may bathe publicly without fear of arrest. They are usually accompanied by an attendant who mops up the water if you tip the bowl and who is disappointed if you fail to tip.

Reports from Sacramento, where the protest has been made before the state board of health, fail to state the dread disease germ for which the finger bowl is the favorite vehicle, but the general belief among Los Angeles hotel and café proprietors is that appetite and hunger are closely associated diseases often to be found lurking in the vicinity of the fateful bowl.

'WIPE 'EM ON THE TABLE'

"This ain't the flowing bowl that's prohibited in the Bible," said T. Bone Riley today in an imaginary interview. "Nothing of the kind. They tell me the finger bowl is made of glass or copper, and that a waiter brings it to you after you eat and you dip your fingers in it and then wipe them on the table cloth. Sounds to me real sanitary and I think it ought to be encouraged. Even at home you have to wash before you eat. And it isn't asking too much for you to do the same thing when you get through — especially when you're out in company. The state board will have a hard time taking the finger bowls off of my pie counter."

Sheriff Hammel, whose boarders at the county jail are the most varied and steady in the city, is bitter in his stand against the antifinger bowl campaign. He said: 'OUTRAGEOUS! OUTRAGEOUS!'

"Never use a finger bowl but once? Why, it's an outrage! That's what it is an outrage! If that law goes into effect it will cost the taxpayers of this county a lot of money. All the finger bowls in the county jail are stationary. They use the same ones all the time. If you took them out every time they are used the plumber's bills would bankrupt Rockefeller. Never-to-be-used-again finger bowls? Slush! Why, the next thing they'll be saying we must have never-to-be-used-again bathtubs."

Al Levy, who knows more about bowls than any other man in the southwest, says if the law passes every person will have to carry his or her own finger bowl.

"Women will wear them for bangles," said Mr. Levy today, "and men will have them fitted on the heads of their canes. In a short time, instead of buying your wife a wrist watch, you'll get her a wrist finger bowl. Or you'll see the bald-headed chap pull off his skull cap and the waiter pour it half full of water while the finger-rinsing process goes on."

Nat Goodwin, founder and for some time principal patron of the famous Nat Goodwin café, telegraphed the following comment from San Francisco, where he is reiterating "Never Say Die" in solo with Marjorie Moreland as an accompanist:

"I never cared for finger bowls. They are too small for a regular drink and hold too much for a chaser."

The only word of encouragement to the state board comes from Vernon Goodwin, manager of the Hotel Alexandria.

"It really makes no difference, anyway," he said. "Finger bowls are de trop. However, we have always served a separate finger bowl to each consumer and our waiters are instructed to use every effort to discourage large parties using the same finger or families’ bowl, even when dining in private rooms. Finger bowls are for single dips and should never be used either for plunge or shower." — Los Angeles Herald, 1914

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Motor Car Etiquette (with Humor)

After you have run down a pedestrian be sure and "honk-honk" very vigorously, especially if you have previously given no warning signal. This little act of attention may be soothing to the last moments of the unfortunate. 

1. Always assist your lady passengers to their seats before taking your own; when alighting suddenly at a stone wall or fence, however, the question of precedence is not considered.
2. When a tire is punctured beyond repair it is considered the correct thing on the part of a host to be explicit as to the number if miles the party must walk to reach home.
3. If anything disagreeable happens, lay it to the chauffeur; if he is bigger than you it is permissible to do this behind his back.
4. After you have run down a pedestrian be sure and "honk-honk" very vigorously, especially if you have previously given no warning signal. This little act of attention may be soothing to the last moments of the unfortunate. 
5. If a horse shows signs of fright, put on all possible power and go by at full speed. In this way he will get rid of his fear- and possibly of his driver -more quickly.
6. If a village constable stands in the road watch in hand, head your machine at the watch. A correct aim destroys evidence.
7. No matter how well you can run your car, always keep a chauffeur in your pay: court rooms and country Jails are stuffy places,
8. If ladies are present when you get on your back under the machine to fix that little trouble." It is the custom to gag yourself with cotton waste.
9. If you have been persuaded to pur- chase a copy of the "Rules of the read,' 'throw it away; there are no rules for motorists.– New York Press 1906

Reminder: We have a free webinar on Dining According to Hollywood and Dining Etiquette as Presented on Film! You can watch it live on September 23rd at 4:00 pm PST (Pacific Standard Time). We have a limited number of viewers who can attend via Zoom, however, if you are registered and cannot watch the event live, you’ll be sent a video link to watch a copy at your leisure. Link to the Free Webinar –– https://events.humanitix.com/dining-according-to-hollywood-the-art-of-dining-on-film Please email any questions to: theetiquettechannel@gmail.com

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Airship Etiquette

Never fall through a roof. People's chambers are seldom fit to receive company without advance notice of their coming… – Dining salon aboard a Graf Zeppelin LZ127
— Photo source, Pinterest

With the advent of flying machines we note that several of our dearest friends are much disturbed by a lack of knowledge of the little proprieties that govern that fine sport. For those persons we offer the following few suggestions which will be added to as the code is completed:

I-If you drop your lady be sure of your bearings. No gentleman will drop a lady into Pittsburg.

II-Remember that the motto of the Epworth League is “Look up” and DON'T SPIT. Epworth Leaguers are, as a rule, very finicky people.

III-In falling, if you should pass an acquaintance aeroplaning with a strange lady it is good form to raise your hat.

IV-Never fall through a roof. People's chambers are seldom fit to receive company without advance notice of their coming.

V-Keep to the right. — Sausalito News, 1910

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia