Etiquette and Fan Language

                Alas, this is all ‘Fan Fiction’ — “Unfortunately, the fan language — and other, similar codes like the language of the handkerchief and the language of the parasol— were largely the result of advertising campaigns meant to popularize and sell accessories. There is little evidence that the fan language was ever in widespread use, though the concept was satirized by several writers in the 18th and 19th centuries. Besides being rather impractical, fan codes were a bit dangerous; an unconscious fidget or desire to actually fan herself could embroil a lady in a totally unintentional feud— or marriage. Not to mention the consequences if the matron acting as chaperone to a courting couple had, a few years earlier, employed the fan language to win her own husband!” -Esti Brennan, Clements Library Chronicles

An Early ‘Advertorial,’ Disguised as Fashionable Etiquette

An amusing little book has been published in Berlin, entitled “The Fan Language of Queen Isabella.” In its introduction, which copies the Spanish work of Fenella, it is as easy to make oneself understood in the language of the fan as in that of flowers, and since the sentences are of necessity short, it is easy to learn them by heart.” It gives a manual for this voiceless speech, consisting of the usual sentences in love and friendship, with appropriate directions as to their expression by means of the fan, in part as follows:

• You have won my love—the right hand points with the closed fan toward the heart. 
• When may I see you?—touch the right eye with the closed fan. 
• I would like to be ever near you —fan the person in question with the open fan. 
• Be quiet; we are watched—hold the closed fan over the mouth. Dare I hope to win your love? —unfold the fan with a quick movement. 
• Do not be so cold —move the fan backward and forward with the right hand. 
• Do not be so jealous— rest the closed fan against the eyebrow of the right eye. 
• You may kiss me— press the half-open fan on the mouth. 
• Yes —rest the open fan upon the right cheek. 
• No —rest the open fan against the left cheek. 
• You are the darling of my heart—press the open fan against the heart and mouth. 
• Explain yourself clearly — look earnestly at the closed fan. 
• I give my consent—slowly close the fan. 
• Why do you wish to leave me?—fan violently with the half-open fan.

                        — The Los Angeles Herald, 1874

Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over 30 years, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years. Her popular etiquette books are available on Amazon.

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Bath’s Master of Ceremonies

In 18th c. Britain, Beau Nash was a celebrated dandy, arbiter of Georgian etiquette and leader of fashion. He is best remembered at the spa town of Bath, the most fashionable resort in 18th-century England. – In 1704, after stints in the army and as a barrister, Nash became known as the “Master of Ceremonies” at a rising spa town - Bath. His was a leading, though unofficial, role in making Bath the Georgian era social center it became, and Nash’s became a job for life. Indispensable in Bath, he not only matched ladies with appropriate dancing partners at each ball, but he’d pay the musicians at many events. Nash would meet the newest arriving visitors to Bath and judge whether they were suitable to join the select “Company” of 500 to 600 people who had pre-booked tables there. He would broker marriages, escort unaccompanied wives when needed, and even regulated what gambling he could, by restraining compulsive gamblers or warning players against cardsharps and risky games. The Corporation of the city funded an elaborate funeral for Nash upon his death in 1761, and he was buried in the nave of Bath Abbey, not far from a monument memorializing him.

Bath, England and Its Celebrated 

Arbiter of Manners

“Beau Nash of Bath was intellectually, and in the matter of actual power, a King indeed, in comparison with all the buffoon imitators who have followed him.”– Wakeman, 1882

  

The city got its name because of the hot mineral water that bubbles out of the ooze, something like 250,000 gallons every day at about 120 degrees. But the story only begins with the water. The city of Bath is steeped in history and tradition. Its secrets are told in art and literature. Its 18th century streets weren't made for automobiles, and the pedestrian is the kingpin. 

Daniel Defoe (of Robinson Crusoe fame) summed it all up in the early 1700s: “We may say now it is ... a place that helps the indolent and the gay to commit that worst of murders to kill time.” Defoe was a little grumpy, but his words describe well the kind of goings-on in Bath at that time. The reigning Monarch at the time, Queen Anne, was enamored of the waters, and then as now, it became fashionable to do what the Monarchy does. The social whirl in Bath got kicked into gear by one Beau Nash, your basic good-timer, who became arbiter of taste, etiquette and parties. 

Nash’s title was Master of Ceremonies, and he went about his job with all the aggressiveness of a public relations man. He led a crackdown on hoodlums so as to make the streets safe to walk, and he led a similar crackdown on those who didn’t dress or act right. Ostracism by Beau Nash was more than most people could stand, and soon the town’s social life was made over, according to Nash’s taste. Nash is noted for encouraging a new informality in manners, breaking down the rigid barriers which had previously divided the nobility from not only the middle-class patrons, but the gentry of Bath. Under Nash, Bath became one fashionable and fun place. It remained so for many years after Nash’s death in 1761.

Jane Austen spent time there and wrote Bath’s shops, amusements and entertainments into her novels. Thomas Gainsborough painted portraits for 20 pounds apiece. William Pitt governed from a simple flat. Bath held great appeal to the Georgians of the late 1700s and early 1800s, but fashionable and fun places in general faded in post-Regency era England. When the Victorian Era came to be after 1837, Bath's influence in British life faded along with the rest of them. – from an article in Santa Cruz Sentinel, 1987

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

18th C. Cosmetic “Betrayal”

In the late 1700’s, according to the British Parliament, no woman could “betray into matrimony any of His Majesty’s subjects by the scents, paints, cosmetics, washes, artificial teeth, false hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops, high-heeled shoes, bolstered hips” or she’d be charged with witchcraft and more. Perhaps they were worried about some of the outlandish women’s fashions of Versailles making their way across the English Channel?

In “Strange As It Seems” –

A Prohibition on ‘Gilding the Lily’ for Landing a Husband

Evidently alarmed by the growing usage of artificial beauty aids in the late eighteenth century, the staid English Parliament of the period actually enacted the following law: 

“All women, whatever age, rank, profession or degree . . . that shall from and after such an act . . . betray into matrimony any of His Majesty’s subjects by the scents, paints, cosmetics, washes, artificial teeth, false hair, Spanish wool, iron stays, hoops, high-heeled shoes, bolstered hips, shall incur the penalty against witchcraft and like misdemeanors and that the marriage upon conviction shall stand null and void.” 

The law, so far as is known, was not rigidly enforced and some time after its enactment was shelved—possibly to avoid the risk of a feminine revolution. – John Hix, 1936

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Ball Etiquette and the Patroness

 A ball's patronesses should see, as far as possible, that the proper introductions are made, and that every one is enjoying the evening, their own pleasure coming last. 

The Duties of, and Details on, Patronesses at Balls

It is customary for the management of any institution giving a public ball to formally invite six, eight, or more married women to act as patronesses, and for their names to appear on the invitations. If badges are worn, each patroness is sent one or given one at the ball-room. The patronesses, after being welcomed at the ball by the management committees, take their places, ready to receive the guests. The Committee of Arrangements should look after the patronesses, introduce distinguished guests to them, escort them to supper and finally to their carriages.

Their duties are varied and responsible – among them, the subscription to the expenses of the entertainments. The patronesses should be divided into various committees to attend to special duties – as, music, caterers, supper arrangements, the ball-room, and all other details. While affairs of this kind could be left in the hands of those employed to carry out the details, it is better and safer for each committee to follow the various matters out to the smallest details.

Those devising new features and surprises for such an occasion will give the most successful ball. The one most active and having the best business ability should take the lead. Lists should be compared, in order to avoid duplicate invitations. The tickets should be divided among the patronesses, who, in turn, distribute them among their friends.

The patronesses should be at the ball-room in ample time before the arrival of the guests, to see that all is in readiness. They should stand together beside the entrance to welcome the guests. They should see, as far as possible, that the proper introductions are made, and that every one is enjoying the evening, their own pleasure coming last. 

If time permits, a hasty introduction to the patroness beside her may be made by a patroness, but it should not be done if there is the slightest possibility of blocking up the entrance. A nod of recognition here and there, or a shake of the hands with some particular friend, is all that is necessary. Prolonged conversation should be avoided.

A patroness should not worry over the affair, or leave anything to be done at the last minute. If she has to worry, she should not show it, lest she interfere with the pleasure of others. They should be the last to leave as well as the first to arrive, to see that the affair closes brilliantly. – From a variety of sources, including "The Book of Manners"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia