Spotlight on Gabriela Vassimon

 

Contributor, Gabriela Vassimon has been working as an etiquette consultant for over a decade. As Civility Expert’s Brazilian exclusive affiliate, Gabriela majored in Psychology, and has over 10 years of experience working with children, teenagers and adults in different sectors (clinic, school, orphanage, companies). Gabriela wears several hats as a psychologist, etiquette consultant and entrepreneur. Gabriela holds an MBA in people management and launched Escola de Gentileza – civilidade e etiqueta (School of Kindness – civility and etiquette). The school offers training and classes in grooming, decorum, social graces, etiquette, and civility for all ages. If you need to learn more about Workplace Etiquette in Brazil, whether you are a foreigner or Brazilian, know that we offer Corporate Etiquette courses both for companies or teams and for professionals looking for individual courses.

Below are links Gabriela Vassimon’s articles on etiquette which you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• Brazilian Beach Etiquette
• Brazilian Body Language Etiquette
• Corporate Etiquette in Brazil

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

I have a degree in Psychology and had been working in the area for years, but with the arrival of my first daughter and living in a state far from my hometown, where I did not have a support network, I started selling tablecloths in my house, as a way to be closer to my daughter and continue working. For one year I reconciled the sale of tablecloths with the care of patients in the clinic, as a psychologist, until I decided to leave Psychology.

I spent years selling tablecloths and over time I became interested in learning more about the positioning of items at the table. I delved deeper through courses and books and started teaching table etiquette to adults. After 7 years, I decided to specialize in etiquette for children, teenagers and civility and decided to stop selling table linen (physical products) and stick only with education/courses. I was looking for an international certification when I met Civility Experts Worldwide (Canadian school) and ended up acquiring the franchise and becoming the exclusive affiliate in Brazil. That was in 2019, the year I founded the School of Gentleness – civility and etiquette. Today I teach children, teenagers, adults and companies on various topics through online and face-to-face courses.

So I would say it was a mix of opportunity, maternity and desire to keep working. Since a little girl I had the desire to be an entrepreneur and enjoyed playing with sales, commerce and pretending I had shops.

                    

What do you enjoy teaching the most regarding Etiquette?

It's really hard to choose just one topic, I honestly like everything I teach. I feel that what excites me the most about teaching is when I notice that students are curious and interested, so I would say that it depends more on the class than on the subject. One thing that children like to learn about is curiosities related to the origin of some rules of etiquette, such as, for example, why we position the knife on the table with the cutting part facing inwards. I also like to teach about emotional intelligence to all ages because I notice that most people have a lack in this skill and as a psychologist I see a relation between this topic and Etiquette, because I believe that to apply etiquette and act with kindness and civility it is necessary to have a minimum of self-awareness and self-knowledge, otherwise it will be difficult to follow the guidelines of Etiquette. For example, if a salesperson didn't realize that he was angry by the way a customer treated him, he might end up taking that anger out on another client or colleague, and end up treating them badly too, without even realizing it. So, for me, emotional intelligence is a subject of fundamental importance for us to become more polite and pleasant people, and to improve our daily interactions and also reap better results and opportunities in life.

                     

What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?
There are 3 things I find rewarding about teaching etiquette:

1- I love meeting new people, it is always enriching to get to know other cities, cultures and people.
2- As it is known that the more we repeat a subject the more we memorize it, I see it as a great advantage to teach etiquette and civility as I always end up remembering the content and improving the application on myself. In other words, I am continually improving, which also brings more credibility since people notice when we are someone who actually practices what we teach.

3- The most rewarding feeling I get by teaching etiquette is pride for my students, by seeing them developing themselves and also the feeling of joy by being able to help them on this journey. Seeing them proud of themselves when they overcome some difficulty or learn something new is priceless. I feel very grateful for contributing to other people lives.

What types of classes do you offer?
- civility, social skills, table setting, dining skills, how to be a good host, emotional intelligence: adults, companies, children and teenagers
- business etiquette, service and hospitality: adults, companies and young people entering the job market

What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?
I sincerely enjoy working with all ages. As I always say, I like people, no matter their age. But if you ask me to choose one, it would be children. I love their curiosity, warmth, honesty and energy. 

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading?
I enjoy reading civility with P. M. Forni, Norbert Elias, Margaret Visser, and Emotional and social intelligence with Daniel Goleman

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Brazilian Body Language Etiquette

  Body Language in Brazil

• When conversing, good eye contact is important. To not do so is considered impolite.

 

• In a marketplace or store, if a vendor puts his thumb down it means, “There isn’t any left; I don’t have any more.” It can also be used to say that you are not feeling well, didn’t like something or to say that something went wrong.

 

• A good, warm handshake is traditional and totally acceptable in Brazil, but it’s  considered a more formal greeting. Handshakes are used mostly on business settings or when people are meeting for the first time in social settings. 

• The Brazilians show affection easily. In social occasions the greetings that are used the most are a kiss on the cheek or a hug. The most common is to greet friends and family with a kiss on the cheek. But frequently brazilians kiss on the cheek even people that they are meeting for the first time, like a friend of a friend. Hugs are mostly used with close people in these situations:

•  when we don’t see someone for a while, as if we were saying “I missed you”, 

• with someone you have seen lately but that you really like, as if we were saying “You’re special to me”.

• to congratulate someone for his birthday or for an achievement. 

If you choose to greet someone with a kiss on the cheek, you don’t need to do like this:

There’s no need to touch the other person's cheek with your lips. The picture above shows more intimacy and it’s mostly used between boyfriends and close family (mother and daughter, for example).

This is enough, just touching cheeks:

 

• People in Brazil will also shake hands when arriving and departing. There may also be a touching of the forearm or elbow, and often a pat on the back. The intention is to show affection. But it’s always a risk because even if brazilians are warm in general, there are people who don’t like to be touched and may feel it’s invasive. So it should be done only with close people. 

• If you are conducting business, be certain to bring some business cards because these are always exchanged. Digital business cards are also well accepted and used.

Also, during business meetings expect to be served (often) small cups of very strong coffee.

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• Since this is more of a touching society, people stand close together when conversing or when standing in lines.

 

• You may think they are blowing you a kiss, but when Brazilians bring their hand towards their mouths and kiss the tips of their fingers, then expand the fingers in an outward motion, it merely means that – probably the meal – was delicious.

 

• In Brazil, just like in America, people use the time out sign. It’s used specially in sports but it can be used in other places as well in order to ask for some time. 

• Brazilians also use the stop sign, to ask someone to stop doing something or to say “wait a minute”.

 

• There are many common friendly gestures in Brazil. One is the thumbs up gesture, which is also popular in America. In Brazil it is meant to mean “good” or “positive.”

Thumbs up is also used to ask for a ride.

 

• Making a hand movement that traces an imaginary horizontal line right above the line of their eyes means that person  does not have any more patience, like saying “I can’t take it anymore, I have it up to here”.

• Sometimes nonverbal communication can be very different than what is expected in other countries. One example is the “O.K.” symbol one can make with their hands. It is regarded as just meaning “O.K.” in the American culture. In Brazil it depends on the situation. Sometimes this may be seen as a very obscene gesture, equivalent to giving the middle finger in America.

• Showing the middle finger is seen as a very rude gesture, equivalent to saying “fuck you”.

• Another obscene hand gesture is called the “corno” which simulates a horn and historically means “your wife is cheating on you.” It is popular in Brazil and is often used when disagreeing with a football referee and it looks just like the “rock on” american gesture.

• One gesture that is also used is one to say “screw you.” It consists of making a fist with one hand and slapping it on top of the other hand once or twice. It is used commonly around Brazilian friends but can be rude if used any other time.

• Same as in Argentina, a close friendship or an incipient relationship is indicated by rubbing the two index fingers together.

• Just like in America, the brazilians make the letter L with the thumb and the index finger in the forehead to say someone is a loser. But it is considered a rude gesture and should be used only with very close people, like a teen with friends or brothers and sisters (not with your parents).

• A very unique body language in Brazil is the “figa”, represented by inserting the thumb between the middle and index finger. This gesture is supposed to keep away pain, suffering and envy and it is an amulet that protects against the “evil-eye” and it’s also used to express hope, when you have a strong wish.

• The “dar uma banana” or “give a banana” gesture in Brazil is an extremely offensive and rude gesture and it consists of bending the right arm at the elbow with the hand as a fist while making a chopping movement with the left arm towards the right elbow as in a forearm jerk. This gesture is also used on other countries of Latin America, in France and Italy with different names, of course. It is the equivalent of giving someone the finger.

 

• When you are far from someone and want to ask her to "come here." Extend your arm with the hand turned up and flex your index finger a few times. 

You can also flex all of your fingers at the same time

• In Brazil, to indicate that something is expensive or that you need money, hold your hand up towards your chest or a little higher and rub your thumb against your index finger.

Contributor, Gabriela Vassimon has been working as an etiquette consultant for over a decade. As Civility Expert’s Brazilian exclusive affiliate, Gabriela majored in Psychology, and has over 10 years of experience working with children, teenagers and adults in different sectors (clinic, school, orphanage, companies). Gabriela wears several hats as a psychologist, etiquette consultant and entrepreneur. She is a certified Children’s Character, Confidence and Courtesy Coach as well as Master Civility Trainer, member of ICTC (International Civility Trainer’s Consortium) and World Citizen Alliance, holds an MBA in people management, Gabriela is a continuous learner and eternal observer of human behavior. Recognizing that her passion is helping others to find the best versions of themselves, and aiming to build a kinder and more considerate world, Gabriela has launched Escola de Gentileza – civilidade e etiqueta (School of Kindness – civility and etiquette). The school offers training and classes in grooming, decorum, social graces, etiquette, and civility for all ages.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Evolving Etiquette in Brazil

Restaurant Dining Etiquette in Brazil

Up until the last 10 to 15 years, Brazilians commonly ate in the Continental style, with the knife held in the right hand and the fork remaining in the left. As with many other countries, after the advent of the internet, social media and “fast foods” becoming more common, dining trends in Brazil became more casual. They have become a nation of the more relaxed American style, right-handed dining. 

• Brazilians wash their hands before eating and refrain from touching food with their hands while eating. In fact, foods such as bread and boned-chicken, should be eaten with a napkin. (Yes... a paper napkin is used instead, when a knife and fork are inappropriate for the task, such as eating takeaway or takeout breads or small pieces of chicken, etc...)   

• Even at “smoking tables” Brazilians don't smoke while eating, nor do they use toothpicks publicly, even if they are offered to you at the table. 

• Avoid making noises while dining. As delicious as your meal may be, lip smacking and chewing noises are considered impolite and ill mannered. 

• Before each time a person drinks during the meal, the mouth is wiped.  

• After meal conversation often takes place over “cafezinho,” a cup of strong black coffee. 

Cheerful, colorful, easy-going... our table mimics our people! About a decade ago, a movement of increasing interest in table decoration and table etiquette began.

The Brazilian Table

Cheerful, colorful, easy-going... our table mimics our people! About a decade ago, a movement of increasing interest in table decoration and table etiquette began. The slow (but visible) socio-economic growth in Brazil allowed a majority of women to enjoy the taste of setting a beautiful and correct table for Brazilian dining. Social media sites, notably Facebook and Instagram, were responsible for the expansion of this trend. Today, we have creative ceramic industries with increasinglay better quality. We also have large sales centers and fairs, that help move millions in tableware each year.


The meeting of friends and family at the Brazilian table, due to the acceleration of the fast pace of life, is being revalued in Brazil, bringing into its center, the values ​​of family, conviviality and home. Our table is generous and welcoming. Family service is our style and essence. Like Americans, we hold the fork in our right hand. We like to gather around an abundant and spontaneous table, however, we don't eat bread before meals, nor do we drink wine every day. Wine is reserved for special occasions.


Because of the very youth of our own Brazilian table etiquette, we have almost no scholarly works and few etiquette authorities. We lack good national etiquette schools and have few reliable etiquette teachers to fill the need in Brazil. I feel, as many others do, that we need to create a Brazilian code, and not simply copy American or European etiquette. We must, of course, make use of traditional teachings, but build on them our own style of etiquette.


Brazil’s future is bright! The country has just made important political and social changes, which are already bringing us benefits. The best is yet to come! I am extremely honored and grateful to @etiquipedia, a site so well structured and reliable, for the kind invitation that was made to me to talk about the Brazilian table. Thank you!

Our newest contributor, Valana Ferreira, credits her family (most notably her grandfather and mother) for instilling in her good manners and the importance of education and ethical values. In her teens, planning to pursue a diplomatic career, she moved to Brasília, the capital of Brazil, and began her studies, immersing herself in books on protocol and etiquette. Recalls Valana, “My professional career took other directions, I studied business administration at Fundação Getúlio Vargas and earned an MBA at the Universidade de São Paulo. I was an executive of large national and multinational companies and lived in several cities. I was also a university professor and professional proofreader of Portuguese language for several published books. At the same time, I did volunteer work for 30 years. Now, retired, I discovered on Instagram the recent relevance given to the world of setting the table — A mix of good news, along with many misunderstandings— I decided to help as much as possible. Today, I am involved for my own personal satisfaction: satisfaction in studying, in living with people (even if virtually), and in bringing reliable information and helping in whatever way I can.”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia