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| Meet our Contributor in the Spotlight for August, Bernadette M. Petrotta, of “The Polite Society of Etiquette.” An author of several books on etiquette and the art of afternoon tea, Bernadette founded The Polite Society School of Etiquette in Southern California, after a lifelong affection for etiquette and social graces led her to attending a 9 course etiquette dinner seminar she had read about in Victoria Magazine in the mid-1990’s. Her love and vast knowledge of the social history of tea, tea rooms, and the art of hosting an afternoon tea, has made her a sought after speaker on tea throughout the Pacific Northwest, where she has resided for the past 14 years. |
Below are links to some of Bernadette’s contributions to Etiquipedia:
The following is a Q. & A. with Bernadette:
1. What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?
I have always been interested in everything beautiful. Gracious manners, etiquette, the pleasures of a relaxed afternoon tea and the arts. When I was young, I lived next door to my Aunt Margaret who was the epitome of grace. She set a beautiful table every day and dressed impeccably. Her home was organized, clean, and nothing was out of place. Each time I visited her, she made us a pot of tea and we shared stories and everyday life experiences. I was also very interested in the graceful world of ballet and every year I purchased season tickets to the American Ballet Theatre. One afternoon as I was reading Victoria Magazine (I’m an avid Victoria reader!), I read about a nine course dining etiquette seminar at the home of Maura Graber in the mid-1990’s, I immediately made a reservation and enjoyed all of the aspects of dining. I thought that teaching etiquette would be something I would really enjoy, so I began my training with her.
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| Speaking on my favorite subject, afternoon tea. I enjoy making my own organic, low sugar scones to enjoy with my favorite teas. |
2. Why did you start when you did?
After receiving my degree and working in an administrative position with the City of Los Angeles, I decided to take some time off to raise my son. I also wanted my son to grow up with an appreciation for good manners and etiquette, and the importance of social graces in today’s world. It seemed like a good fit for my life at that time. I eventually went back to work but continued to teach etiquette.
3. What do you enjoy teaching the most regarding Etiquette?
If you’s like to contact Bernadette, she can be reached through her website Polite Society School of Étiquette and directly via email at BMP@PoliteSocietySchool.com
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| Meeting “Tea Sage,” and author, Norwood Pratt and his wife, along with Julie Rosanoff of the Perennial Tea Room, when I was a guest speaker at the Northwest Tea Festival in Washington, back in 2011. |
I love all of it, really, but I particularly enjoy teaching on the pleasure and art of afternoon tea. It became an integral part of my life many years ago, and I have enjoyed tea rooms around the world. Exploring new tea rooms is one of my favorite things to do. It was an honor to be featured in Tea Time Magazine a few years ago, as I have been a faithful reader for so long.
Teaching how to set up a Tea Table Buffet and Tea Tray etiquette to a gracious audience in Seattle.
4. What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?
I find it rewarding to change peoples’ perspectives on etiquette and manners. People have the idea that good manners mean something stuffy or stiff, when living a well-mannered and etiquette filled life actually offers one a structure and way of doing things that really can help with daily stress. To quote the former First Lady, Barbara Bush, "Protocol is not there to dictate to you. It is there to help you."
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| Bernadette’s books are available on Amazon. This revised book is Volume V, “The Art of Timeless Étiquette, Graceful Dining Manners, & Afternoon Tea” features, “Social Graces, Étiquette History, Introduction Methods, Entertaining Guidelines, Correspondence Protocol, History of Tableware, Dining out Manners, American and Continental Style Dining, Appropriate Dress Attire, Personal Care and Home Management, History of Tea, Types of Tea, Tea Pairings and Tastings, Afternoon Tea in England, Tea Food Dining Instructions, and Formalities for Preparing a “Proper” Afternoon Tea. This revised edition is an updated compilation of Volume I, Volume II, and Volume IV with additional étiquette information and home management guidelines.” |
5. What types of classes do you offer?
I offer In-Person and Online Courses for adults and young people. I offer Beginning, Advanced, Business, and Tea Étiquette Courses. I also offer restaurant and hospitality staff training.
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| Meet Emma the Etiquette Cat… Emma is Bernadette’s Ragdoll cat and though adorable and quite lovable, she can get into trouble around the house. This is Bernadette’s book for young children. It is also available on Amazon. |
6. What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?
I offer classes to all ages, but you most enjoy teaching and working most with adults, as I can relate to them on a common ground. I think a lot of adults are like me, and miss the more pleasant days of their youth. Thirty to 40 years ago, the world seemed much more polite and well-mannered. Airports weren’t filled with people in their pjs. Flights weren’t regularly delayed due to poor behavior by passengers. I think it’s why period dramas like “Downton Abbey” gained such popularity. When I was growing up, people watched their language in and politics didn’t seem so divisive. People dressed more conservatively when going out and being seen in public. I would love to see the world become a more polite place to live for my son, my daughter-in-law and my dear little grandson. I love being a new grandmother and hope my grandson understands and appreciates the importance of manners and etiquette as he grows up.7. Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading most?
I don’t have any particular favorites. I love reading etiquette books from all over and I enjoy many different authors, though I do have a lot of the books from older authorities in my bookshelf collection for reference.
🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
