Diplomatic Protocol Crisis of 1887

The English diplomat, accustomed to being second socially only to the Royal family, delayed his courtesy call for months after Hobart, a New Jersey native, snubbed Lord and Lady Pauncefote’s invitation to a British garden party. Washington was entranced with the squabble. Finally, after advice from the crown itself, Lord Pauncefote buckled and paid the first call on Hobart.  

–Public domain image of Sir Julian Pauncefote

All the fuss over Nancy Reagan’s china and interior decorating at the White House has caused some to urge that official Washington return to an era when leaders wasted little time on questions of etiquette and social standing. Apparently there never was such a time.

The National Historical Society recently recalled the crisis of protocol that gripped Washington 85 years ago. It seems the British ambassador, Sir Julian Pauncefote, and William McKinley’s first vice president, Garret Augustus Hobart, embroiled themselves in a raging public controversy over who should sit next to the President at State Dinners, and who should call on the other first.

The English diplomat, accustomed to being second socially only to the Royal family, delayed his courtesy call for months after Hobart, a New Jersey native, snubbed Lord and Lady Pauncefote’s invitation to a British garden party. Washington was entranced with the squabble. Finally, after advice from the crown itself, Lord Pauncefote buckled and paid the first call on Hobart. Hobart later missed a chance at being President by dying in office in 1899. – San Bernardino Sun, 1982

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Handshakes for a King and Queen

Officials point out that President and Mrs. Roosevelt will be standing in line with the King and Queen when most of their big moments come. And Americans have been shaking their Presidents’ hands for years. Some bow slightly; others don't. Not many men want to appear ludicrous by saying “How-do-you do” to the President, then bowing low and backing off from the King and Queen, only to walk forward again for Mrs. Roosevelt’s hand shake.

British Royalty to be Greeted with Handshakes

WASHINGTON, May 12.- (AP) - The minute fraction of the Nation’s population which actually will meet the King and Queen of Great Britain here next month is getting ready for good old American handshakes.

For weeks, these men and women have been batted back and forth between the curtsy-or-don't, bow-or faint school of thought. The final consensus is that being Americans, they will act as Americans usually do at White House and other formal functions.

Officials point out that President and Mrs. Roosevelt will be standing in line with the King and Queen when most of their big moments come. And Americans have been shaking their Presidents’ hands for years. Some bow slightly; others don't.

Not many men want to appear ludicrous by saying “How-do-you do” to the President, then bowing low and backing off from the King and Queen, only to walk forward again for Mrs. Roosevelt’s hand shake.

The State Department steadfastly has refused to play Emily Post for the American public on royal etiquette. Protocol experts take the attitude that they have no more business dictating how people should behave than they have telling them what to wear.

As a result, most officials plan to follow American customs. The larg est group to be presented will be those invited to the White House musicale after a state dinner for about 100 guests, June 9. Others will be introduced at Union Station. – Oakland Tribune, May 1939

👑Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Letitia Baldrige’s White House Memories

In 1961, Baldrige moved from public relations director of Tiffany & Co. in New York to the job as Mrs. Kennedy’s chief of staff. Baldrige remembered how that First Lady turned the White House into a warm, festive place— abandoning a large U-shaped table used for state dinners and substituting round tables of eight so guests found it easier to converse.

The Late-Letitia Baldrige Shared a Houseful of Memories

Letitia Baldrige, who was Jackie Kennedy’s chief of staff at the White House, shared her memories of the First Ladies.

Baldrige spoke at the Richard Nixon Library and Birthplace in Yorba Linda on “The Evolving Role of the First Lady” as part of the library’s seven-part Distinguished Speaker series, “The Lady of the House: Great Wives of Great Presidents.” About 300 guests, most of them women, paid $8.50 each for the talk and tea.

White House Days

Wearing a gold blazer and Barbara Bush-style pearls, Baldrige began her talk by praising the “magnificent library” that “brings back so many memories.”

Baldrige’s association with the White House dates back to her childhood. As the daughter of Malcolm Baldrige, once a Nebraska congressman, she was invited to the White House Easter egg hunt at age 4 during the last year of the Hoover Administration. “I’ve had a charmed life,” she said.

In 1961, Baldrige moved from public relations director of Tiffany & Co. in New York to the job as Mrs. Kennedy’s chief of staff. Baldrige remembered how that First Lady turned the White House into a warm, festive place— abandoning a large U-shaped table used for state dinners and substituting round tables of eight so guests found it easier to converse.

“Young America started to copy, copy, copy. We received countless letters from women saying, ‘Everyone tells me I look exactly like Mrs. Kennedy,’ ” Baldrige said. Many wanted to know how the First Lady did her hair.

First Ladies’ Clout

“The First Lady has a lot of power,” Baldrige said. “I hope Hillary Clinton realizes that.”

A Republican who switched parties during the Kennedy years and later switched back again, Baldrige has not yet been called on by Clinton for advice, as she has for four previous First Ladies.

“I’m all for Hillary Clinton. I want her to avoid the barbs of women who hate women who work,” she says. “But I’m known as a Republican in Washington. I’m probably the last person she’d call.”

The author of 12 books including “The Complete Guide to New Manners for the ‘90s,” Baldrige held to one of the golden rules of etiquette and never spoke ill of anyone.

On Rosalynn Carter: “She had beautiful manners and wrote wonderful notes.”

On Nancy Reagan: “She had a tremendous flair . . . and was given a bad rap by the press.”

On Pat Nixon: “She did a tremendous amount for the White House.”

“All of the First Ladies were good, creative and strong,” she said. “I’ve always said they should be paid.”

Tea Time

After the talk, guests sampled tea and scones in the library’s lobby and stood in line to meet Baldrige. Clara Jane Nixon, sister-in-law to Richard Nixon, had never met Baldrige until the tea but said her talk brought back memories of her own visits to the White House. “The talk let me relive a few experiences,” she said. “We used to visit the White House, and we even stayed in the queen’s bedroom.”

Guests also visited the library’s exhibit, “White House Style: Formal Gowns of the First Ladies,” which featured 22 inaugural and other gowns reproduced from the Smithsonian’s collection of originals.

— By Kathryn Bold, Jan. 1993

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washington Ladies’ Code of Etiquette

This photo of Mrs. Grover Cleveland along with the wives of her husband’s Cabinet Secretaries, was taken in 10 years after this article was published, in 1897. –  The ladies' visiting code admits of great latitude, and rules must be observed to avoid complications... Many compromising episodes result through lack of “time” and method. Not long ago a new member of official society, with ambition to call where the largest number of carriages were seen, found herself at a funeral! 

The ladies' code of etiquette in Washington D.C. is complicated, and it is important to be understood. Ladies of the Diplomatic Corps receive first visits from official society, and duly return the same in good form. There is a friction between Senate ladies and Cabinet ladies regarding first calls, but the common law of custom exists, and should be gracefully accepted. There was more excuse for sensitiveness during the present administration than has existed before. The Cabinet ladies were entirely new members of Washington society, excepting the honored and beloved wife of the Secretary of State, who was called to a higher court before social etiquette of the new administration was established, and naturally they felt the newness of their position, and, from a home point of view, regarded it etiquette for the older members of society to make the first call upon the new, hence a conflict, without an authorized umpire to decide a vexed question.

The ladies' visiting code admits of great latitude, and rules must be observed to avoid complications. The old rule of fixed days in every part of the city was best. Why any innovation from the old rule is regarded with favor, I am unable to say; but if carriage hire has produced this result, let it be canceled by “Jeffersonian simplicity,” and ladies take time to enter and leave the house with formality due a hostess, and not pay visits as if life depended on the action. Many compromising episodes result through lack of “time” and method. Not long ago a new member of official society with ambition to call where the largest number of carriages were seen, found herself at a funeral. – Brooklyn Magazine, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia