Finer Points of Letter Writing

The girls said, “Mother didn’t lick the envelope, Miss Allen, honestly, she didn't.” They seemed to think that the teacher might believe that they had opened the envelope to read the note.

The Children Learn Fine Points Of Letter Etiquette

The two Green sisters had a note for teacher. Mother had sent it with them. As the teacher took it in her hands the girls saw her eyes fall upon the open flap of the envelope before she looked at the address on the envelope itself.

The girls said, “Mother didn’t lick the envelope, Miss Allen, honestly, she didn't.” They seemed to think that the teacher might believe that they had opened the envelope to read the note.

Miss Allen said, “I am sure you did not open this, girls. You see, your mother knows that it is not correct to close the flap when she sends a note by messenger. Suppose we talk about letter writing
when the last bell rings.” During the ensuing discussion the children learned the following things about letter writing:

• First, that simple, plain letter paper is better than any gaudy or heavily decorated stationery. Correct letter paper is always unlined and certainly not perfumed. 

• Fashions in monogramming change but rather plain initials, not too large, are always in good taste. 

• Gold edged cards, monograms heavily embossed or engraved in silver or gold are not as correct as the smaller ones, embossed in a color. 

• Any note should be enclosed in an envelope, not sent with a corner of the folded paper turned down.But when the note is delivered by anyone other than a professional messenger the flap of the envelope is left unsealed. 

• The envelope may carry the words, “kindness of,” but this is unnecessary. The recipient will know it has been brought by the bearer, so why state it on the envelope? 

• It is silly to use colored inks. There is nothing easier to read than black on white or cream. 

• Lavender ink, green ink, red ink may have their place on invitations for special affairs, such as a Saint Patrick's day party or a Christmas affair, but for every day use there is nothing nicer than black, or a blue so deep it looks black. – By Florence La Ganke, aka “Nancy Page,” 1936

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Early 20th C. Correspondence Etiquette

Out of every hundred successful men and women, ninety-nine are punctilious letter writers — A late 19th century lady’s lap- desk or travel writing desk, disguised as a book of Shakespeare’s Complete Works.

Answer All Letters Promptly

“A man may write any time if he set himself doggedly to do it.” —Samuel Johnson

I have found that out of every hundred successful men and women, ninety-nine are punctilious letter writers. One of the first things the man who wants to win in politics does, is to establish strict rules for answering letters. It would be safe to say that no man who has been elected to a high political office has ever done so without the aid of careful habits in regard to letter writing.

Surely no man has ever become President of the United States within late years, who has not early formed the habit of attention to answering letters. If you doubt this, read the biographies of Roosevelt, of Lincoln, of Cleveland, of any of the other men who have lived in the White House. And if big men like that haven't been able to win out without writing letters, how can you hope to do so?

The social leader whether she leads society with a capital “S” or is president of the woman’s club in a town of 10,000 or the most popular member of the Ladies’ Aid in a village with one church, a store and the post-office is, in nine cases out of ten, punctilious about answering letters. Let her become careless in this regard and see how soon her popularity wanes.

Are you aware of the fact that strict etiquette requires that any formal dinner invitation that is received by a note requires a definite acceptance or regret by the return post, – surely on the day that it is received?

Do you know that gifts from friends whom you cannot thank in person at once, should always be acknowledged within a week? This applies to Christmas gifts and wedding gifts. It is a careless bride who waits till after she is married to write “thank you” notes for her wedding presents. To be on the safe side make a rule that any personal or social letter that is not an answer to a letter of your own deserves an answer and that answer should be dispatched within ten days.

If keeping up what one calls a correspondence with a friend out of town, a longer interval may intervene. Remember that it would be better for you never to carry on any of these correspondences at all, than to neglect the imperative letters of social obligation and courtesy.

Etiquette requires that any invitation on which R. S. V. P. is written, should be answered within a day or two of receipt, that any invitation save that for a church wedding or tea – when R. S. V. P. is not engraved on the invitation – requires a prompt answer. Etiquette requires that the announcement by letter of an engagement, a birth, death, marriage or illnes requires a prompt reply. So much for the strict requirements of good form. 

Remember besides that courtesy prompts the well bred man or woman to write notes of congratulation on the occasion of wedding or birthday anniversaries of friends or near relatives, when it has been impossible to call for an unusual length of time, when there is illness in the family or on the occasion af any misfortune or good fortune.

But remember that promptness is the first requisite of good form in letter writing. The best way to make sure of promptness is to have suitable writing materials at hand – and if you have good black or dark blue ink, a pen and plain white paper of conventional shape and size, you have all that etiquette demands in the way of writing equipment. – By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Correspondence Etiquette — the Don’ts

Whether hand written, via email or text, these tips survive the test of time—Don’t write anything in a perfunctory way; remember always that each letter or endorsement should bear the impress of the writer's dignity, courtesy and intelligence.

Some ‘Don’ts’ for Letter Writers —They Might Help You

Samuel McGowan, Paymaster General of the United States Navy, has compiled a long list of instructions for the members of his department of the service, particularly on the subject of letter writing. The Paymaster’s department is the business office of the United States Navy, and what are good rules for it are good rules for any business house. 

The following is the list of “Don'ts” for letter writers, which Paymaster General McGowan has compiled, believing that the advice is good for any person who has to write letters or conduct business negotiations. 

The “Don’ts” follow; 

• Don’t write at all unless you have something to say; and, having said it, stop. 
• Don’t answer a letter just because somebody else wants you to. If you did, many a purposeless correspondence might go on indefinitely. 
• Don’t give reasons or explanations unless they are called for.
• Don’t write anything in a perfunctory way; remember always that each letter or endorsement should bear the impress of the writer's dignity, courtesy and intelligence. 
• Don’t hesitate to say “no” if that is the proper answer; having said it, don’t attempt to suggest an alternative aimed to circumvent your own “no.” 
• Don’t discuss people; discuss things.
• Don’t write anything quarrelsome; it would probably not be signed. 
• Don’t get excited; or, if you do, don’t record the fact on paper. 
• Don’t use long words when it can be helped (and it generally can). — Los Angeles Herald, 1914

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia