Spotlight on Gabriela Vassimon

 

Contributor, Gabriela Vassimon has been working as an etiquette consultant for over a decade. As Civility Expert’s Brazilian exclusive affiliate, Gabriela majored in Psychology, and has over 10 years of experience working with children, teenagers and adults in different sectors (clinic, school, orphanage, companies). Gabriela wears several hats as a psychologist, etiquette consultant and entrepreneur. Gabriela holds an MBA in people management and launched Escola de Gentileza – civilidade e etiqueta (School of Kindness – civility and etiquette). The school offers training and classes in grooming, decorum, social graces, etiquette, and civility for all ages. If you need to learn more about Workplace Etiquette in Brazil, whether you are a foreigner or Brazilian, know that we offer Corporate Etiquette courses both for companies or teams and for professionals looking for individual courses.

Below are links Gabriela Vassimon’s articles on etiquette which you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• Brazilian Beach Etiquette
• Brazilian Body Language Etiquette
• Corporate Etiquette in Brazil

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

I have a degree in Psychology and had been working in the area for years, but with the arrival of my first daughter and living in a state far from my hometown, where I did not have a support network, I started selling tablecloths in my house, as a way to be closer to my daughter and continue working. For one year I reconciled the sale of tablecloths with the care of patients in the clinic, as a psychologist, until I decided to leave Psychology.

I spent years selling tablecloths and over time I became interested in learning more about the positioning of items at the table. I delved deeper through courses and books and started teaching table etiquette to adults. After 7 years, I decided to specialize in etiquette for children, teenagers and civility and decided to stop selling table linen (physical products) and stick only with education/courses. I was looking for an international certification when I met Civility Experts Worldwide (Canadian school) and ended up acquiring the franchise and becoming the exclusive affiliate in Brazil. That was in 2019, the year I founded the School of Gentleness – civility and etiquette. Today I teach children, teenagers, adults and companies on various topics through online and face-to-face courses.

So I would say it was a mix of opportunity, maternity and desire to keep working. Since a little girl I had the desire to be an entrepreneur and enjoyed playing with sales, commerce and pretending I had shops.

                    

What do you enjoy teaching the most regarding Etiquette?

It's really hard to choose just one topic, I honestly like everything I teach. I feel that what excites me the most about teaching is when I notice that students are curious and interested, so I would say that it depends more on the class than on the subject. One thing that children like to learn about is curiosities related to the origin of some rules of etiquette, such as, for example, why we position the knife on the table with the cutting part facing inwards. I also like to teach about emotional intelligence to all ages because I notice that most people have a lack in this skill and as a psychologist I see a relation between this topic and Etiquette, because I believe that to apply etiquette and act with kindness and civility it is necessary to have a minimum of self-awareness and self-knowledge, otherwise it will be difficult to follow the guidelines of Etiquette. For example, if a salesperson didn't realize that he was angry by the way a customer treated him, he might end up taking that anger out on another client or colleague, and end up treating them badly too, without even realizing it. So, for me, emotional intelligence is a subject of fundamental importance for us to become more polite and pleasant people, and to improve our daily interactions and also reap better results and opportunities in life.

                     

What do you find rewarding about teaching Etiquette?
There are 3 things I find rewarding about teaching etiquette:

1- I love meeting new people, it is always enriching to get to know other cities, cultures and people.
2- As it is known that the more we repeat a subject the more we memorize it, I see it as a great advantage to teach etiquette and civility as I always end up remembering the content and improving the application on myself. In other words, I am continually improving, which also brings more credibility since people notice when we are someone who actually practices what we teach.

3- The most rewarding feeling I get by teaching etiquette is pride for my students, by seeing them developing themselves and also the feeling of joy by being able to help them on this journey. Seeing them proud of themselves when they overcome some difficulty or learn something new is priceless. I feel very grateful for contributing to other people lives.

What types of classes do you offer?
- civility, social skills, table setting, dining skills, how to be a good host, emotional intelligence: adults, companies, children and teenagers
- business etiquette, service and hospitality: adults, companies and young people entering the job market

What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?
I sincerely enjoy working with all ages. As I always say, I like people, no matter their age. But if you ask me to choose one, it would be children. I love their curiosity, warmth, honesty and energy. 

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy reading?
I enjoy reading civility with P. M. Forni, Norbert Elias, Margaret Visser, and Emotional and social intelligence with Daniel Goleman

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Corporate Etiquette in Brazil

Understanding the nuances can not only help foreigners better adapt to the Brazilian job market, but also offer valuable insights into how cultural practices influence workplace dynamics and interpersonal relationships.

Corporate etiquette in Brazil is a reflection of the country's culture and principles, valuing personal relationships, flexibility and a more humanized approach in the work environment. Understanding these nuances can not only help foreigners better adapt to the Brazilian job market, but also offer valuable insights into how cultural practices influence workplace dynamics and interpersonal relationships. This comprehensive understanding underscores the importance of cultural sensitivity and adaptability to foster successful professional interactions and build lasting connections in Brazil's vibrant and culturally diverse corporate landscape.

Understanding the Nuances of the Brazilian Work Environment

• Corporate etiquette in Brazil reflects the country's rich cultural tapestry, offering a unique and vibrant setting that can differ significantly from other cultures around the world. By delving into Brazilian work practices, foreigners can find valuable lessons on how to navigate this environment respectfully and effectively. This article highlights the main characteristics, attitudes and habits common in the Brazilian workplace, contrasting them with practices in other countries to provide a comprehensive overview of corporate etiquette in Brazil.

Communication: Warmth and Cordiality

• One of the hallmarks of the Brazilian workplace is its warm and welcoming nature. Brazilians tend to value personal relationships and cordial interactions, which is reflected in direct and expressive communication. If you are visiting Brazil for work, I suggest you give preference to shaking hands. It is better to err on the side of too much respect than too little. Greeting with a handshake is the most traditional in the Brazilian work environment and at work events, but it is common to see hugs and even kisses on the cheek in more informal contexts or between colleagues who share a closer relationship. Even among older customers and employees, there can be greetings with a kiss on the cheek, as long as this initiative comes from the customer. 

Hierarchy and Flexibility

• Although hierarchy is respected in Brazil, there is a relatively flexible approach to organizational structure. Superiors are accessible and are often directly involved in team activities, promoting an inclusive and less formal work environment. 

Meetings: The Value of Personal Contact

• Meetings in Brazil often begin with informal, non-work-related conversations as a way to establish connection and comfort among participants. The formal start of meetings may be postponed in favor of this social interaction, reflecting the importance given to establishing relationships before discussing business. During face-to-face meetings in Brazil, it is very common to consume water and coffee.

Dress: Between Formal and Casual

• The dress code in Brazilian companies varies significantly according to the industry and location, but tends to be a mix between formal and casual. In cities with warmer climates, such as Rio de Janeiro, a more relaxed approach is common, allowing for greater personal expression. In sectors linked to Law and finance, the dress code is usually quite formal, with men wearing suits and ties.

Lunchtime: More Than Just a Break

• Lunch break in Brazil is an important social time, often seen as an opportunity to strengthen bonds and relax with co-workers. Unlike cultures that prioritize quick lunches or meals at the workplace, Brazilians value this time as a significant break in their daily journey, but this is not a rule. There are many companies where people eat lunch at work, especially when the meal is already provided free of charge to employees. I worked in an industry where this happened. We were allowed to go out for lunch, but since it was more practical to eat at the company’s restaurant and it had no expenses, I ate there most days. 

In Brazil there is no custom of taking a siesta, as happens in some countries like Italy, for example. In Brazil, even those who go to have lunch at home have a short lunch break (normally one hour) and then return to work immediately. We don’t have the custom or time released by companies to sleep after lunch.

I have put together some practical guidance on attitudes during work meetings that are generally considered inappropriate and can negatively affect other people's perceptions:

• Lack of punctuality: Although Brazil is known for a more flexible culture regarding time, arriving late to work meetings, especially without prior notice, can be seen as a lack of professionalism and disrespect.

• Using your cell phone inappropriately: Constantly checking your cell phone, sending messages or answering calls during meetings can be interpreted as a lack of interest or respect for colleagues and the topic discussed.

• Interrupting others: Talking over colleagues or interrupting while someone else is speaking is considered rude. It's important to wait your turn and listen actively.

• Going off topic: Dwelling on topics that are not on the meeting agenda can waste everyone's time. Maintaining focus is crucial to meeting efficiency.

• Being negative all the time: While constructive criticism is welcome, a consistently negative or critical stance can be frowned upon. It's important to balance negative feedback with positive suggestions.

• Failing to Prepare: Arriving at a meeting unprepared, without having reviewed the necessary materials or without having ideas to contribute can create an impression of disinterest or lack of professionalism.

• Not participating: Remaining completely silent, without participating in discussions, can be interpreted as a lack of preparation or interest in the meeting.

• Eating during the meeting: Unless it is a work lunch or there is general consent, eating during meetings can be seen as disrespectful or distracting to participants.

Remembering that business culture can vary significantly, depending on the company and sector, these are general guidelines that help promote a respectful and productive meeting environment in the Brazilian context.

Contributor, Gabriela Vassimon has been working as an etiquette consultant for over a decade. As Civility Expert’s Brazilian exclusive affiliate, Gabriela majored in Psychology, and has over 10 years of experience working with children, teenagers and adults in different sectors (clinic, school, orphanage, companies). Gabriela wears several hats as a psychologist, etiquette consultant and entrepreneur. Gabriela holds an MBA in people management and launched Escola de Gentileza – civilidade e etiqueta (School of Kindness – civility and etiquette). The school offers training and classes in grooming, decorum, social graces, etiquette, and civility for all ages. If you need to learn more about Workplace Etiquette in Brazil, whether you are a foreigner or Brazilian, know that we offer Corporate Etiquette courses both for companies or teams and for professionals looking for individual courses.

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia © Etiquette Encyclopedia

Brazilian Beach Etiquette

Acting with civility, that is, with consideration for others, is beyond a choice, a habit. So the sooner you start practicing, the faster you'll be used to acting with civility and etiquette on the beach – and off the beach too. 

Summer Manners Guide

A beach is synonymous with leisure, rest and fun, right? Okay, but to make sure we all have a good time, it's always good to remember some recommendations about beach etiquette. After all, it's no use for someone to have fun if it brings discomfort, annoyance or harm to the other. As the phrase goes: “Your right ends where the other's begins”.

I know, we often do something not so nice out of distraction or haste. For example: Your son is coming back from the seashore and you, who stayed at the parasol, want to tell him not to run near people, because he is almost throwing sand at someone. So you yell, “Muriloooo, don't run close to the others!” and with that, your scream ends up waking the girl who is napping in the parasol beside you, or resulting in a reprimanding look from a man who is reading nearby.

True, even the most careful of people get distracted at times. It is not possible to be considerate of all others one hundred percent of the time. However, it is possible, and very desirable, that we try. And that we try to remember as much as possible that we are sharing the same space with other people.

Acting with civility, that is, with consideration for others, is beyond a choice. It should be a habit. So the sooner you start practicing, the faster you'll be used to acting with civility and etiquette on the beach – and off the beach too. 

You may be asking yourself: “And what do I get out of it?” You are gaining peace by not causing or getting involved in conflicts, you are setting a good example for your children and anyone who sees you, you are sowing warmth and kindness, and as you have heard, “kindness breeds kindness,” therefore, the more you are kind, the more others will be, and the more kindness you will receive.

Often the kindness you will receive will not be from the same person you helped. But even if it comes from someone else, it comes. You also gain peace of mind, a clear conscience, a feeling of well-being. It is scientifically proven that doing, receiving and even witnessing an act of kindness is good, with a discharge of oxytocin, also known as the “love hormone” in everyone involved.

That is, when we are kind, civilized, and use self-control and etiquette on the beach, it becomes a place of tranquility and harmony, fulfilling its role of providing leisure for everyone.

The beach is a place of more informality, both in costume and communication (gestures, verbal and non-verbal expressions). Therefore, some rules can be more flexible, such as how to eat, for example. However, we must not confuse flexibility and informality with mess and lack of manners.

Even though it is an open place, where we have a tendency and even greater permission to act more freely, common sense and consideration must prevail. It also happens sometimes that the beach is full and people have to stay closer to each other. In these cases, our care must be redoubled.

Now that we understand the importance of beach etiquette and how each of our attitudes impact the well-being of others, let's look at some practical tips on how to act with good beach manners.

Beach Etiquette Tips:

Occupation of Available Space

If the beach is emptier and has more space for you to occupy, use it freely. However, when space is more restricted, avoid placing your things on a pile of chairs, and scattering towels and sarongs over a large stretch of sand. If you're late and the beach is already full, you'll have to settle for not taking the best spot. It's not nice to settle down practically glued to someone's chair or umbrella. Even if you are on a crowded beach, try to distance yourself from others as much as possible.

If you've got a chair from a good spot on the beach and don't plan on using it now, but only a few hours from now, avoid leaving your towel by reserving the chair for when you get back.

Children on the Beach

It is important to ensure that your children do not disturb others. Children are not born knowing how to behave in each place. They need someone to teach what is polite and proper and what is not. And that someone is you; father, mother or guardian. Observe children closely, guiding their behavior when necessary. Children tend to run and play without worrying so much if they are spilling sand or water on someone. They can step on other people's towels, yell around other people, etc. Also take care so that they are always safe, avoid letting them to go too far, to enter the sea unaccompanied, or to play games that represent danger to them or to others.

I suggest that you only go to another child's parents if you notice that their actions are posing a risk to the child's or other people's safety. In the case of minor annoyances, it is sometimes preferable to let it go and say nothing, to avoid further annoyance or conflict.

If an accident happens between you (or your child) and someone else, offer to help resolve or work around the problem. Try to replace the damaged object or food yourself, or offer money for the person to replace whatever is damaged with another. Don't forget to apologize. If it's something your child caused, ask him to apologize too. That way you will be teaching him to take responsibility for his actions.

Games on the Beach

There are typical games and sports when we go to the beach, for example:

• Playing games like soccer or volleyball, try to play on a more spacious part of the beach, away from other people. 
• Be careful not to hit the ball or bump into anyone nearby. Preferably stop the game to wait for someone to pass safely.
• When playing in the sand (building castles, bucket of water, shovels), be careful not to spill sand or water on people nearby.

Dogs and Pets on the Beach

The same precautions that we advise to have with children, apply to pets. Be aware of your pet so that it doesn't bother other people. Before taking him, check if that beach accepts animals, how he usually behaves in the presence of strangers, if he has up-to-date vaccinations, if you are confident in leaving him off a leash. Don't forget to clean up any dirt or poop it makes. Remember to bring toys, snacks and water so that he can also enjoy the tour. Furthermore, any hungry and bored person or animal is more likely to start bothering others.

Music on the Beach

There are those who go to the beach to have fun and enjoy listening to music. Perhaps they are at the beach for travel, in the company of a group of friends or family. There are also people who enjoy silence, who seek the beach to relax, read, or just think about nothing. When these two people or groups meet, the chance for one to leave unhappy is big. But it's possible to avoid annoyances using these beach etiquette guidelines.

As much as people who decide to go to beaches can already imagine that they will be full, especially on summer days, this is no reason or excuse to leave education aside. Ideally, just listen to music in public places with the headset. If you are in a group and everyone wants to enjoy the sound together, try to keep the music at a low volume, ask beforehand or observe if those nearby are showing signs of discomfort. As much as you love your music, other people may have different preferences or simply not feel like listening to music at all. The same care applies to the volume of voice and conversations.

Clothes on the Beach

As we mentioned at the beginning, the beach is naturally a more informal place, where people tend to go mainly when it's hot, which means less clothes and shorter and smaller outfits. Valuing the well-being of everyone, try to be careful with what you are wearing.

There are beaches where nudism is allowed, but there are family beaches where people can feel invaded by your lack of clothing. If visiting a nude beach, check the guidelines first. It may be allowed, for example, not to wear clothes on the beach, but in other places such as bathrooms, it is mandatory to wear them. 

Also avoid facing people. Sometimes we automatically notice someone, but since it is a nude beach, this attitude should be avoided so as not to cause misinterpretations or embarrassment.

The way we dress conveys a message to others, so it's important to be careful about showing respect through our clothes as well.

Photos and Videos

When out in public, and especially at the beach, we should avoid taking videos or photos of other people and posting them to social media, without their knowledge. Think twice, three, or even four times before recording a scene, no matter how funny or different it seems to you. Let's use empathy more. Would you like to be photographed in that situation? 

Don't justify yourself thinking that you would never do something like that, or that that person will never see or know about the video or photo. Images spread quickly on social media. And you can go through a similar or embarrassing situation anywhere and be photographed. Let’s be more gentle and cautious.

The good old golden rule, which we learned in childhood, remains valuable: “Do unto others as you would have done to you.”

Dating on the Beach

We know that the beach combines with lightness, vacations, adventures and love. Loving is good, but it is important to avoid excessive displays of affection, especially when there are more people on the beach. The couple may be in love and not mind the prying eyes of those close to them. But those who are close are not obliged to see explicit demonstrations of other people's passion. Like loud music or no clothes, it's an invasive situation, an overexposure that can embarrass everyone.

Makeup, Beauty and Sunscreen

When it comes to makeup and the beach, less is more. Just as we need to adapt our clothes to each situation or event, makeup must also match the environment we are in. It's possible to look pretty on the beach, invest in some accessories and even light makeup. However, it is unnecessary to overdo the makeup. As for the sunscreen, you can overdo it at will.

Food and Drinks on the Beach

Regardless of whether you brought some food from home or bought it at the beach, try not to make too much of a mess. Clean or collect what you have used, and remember to collect the garbage.

In relation to alcoholic drinks, it is important to know yourself and control yourself, in order not to exceed the limits. In addition to running the risk of annoying others with unpleasant jokes or comments, you can also put yourself at risk if you combine drinks with swimming in the sea, for example. Alcohol also makes it easier to get involved in unnecessary conflicts. If you're taking care of children, there's one more reason not to go overboard, as the beach offers a lot of risks for the little ones.

Trash on the Beach

If each one takes care of the garbage they produced on the beach, it will always be kept clean. When leaving, don't leave trash behind. If there are dumpsters nearby, use them. Otherwise, take your trash with you until you find one, or even to your house or hotel. 

A simple and easy idea to put into practice is to get into the habit of always carrying an empty bag to the beach, which will serve as a trash bin. This makes it easier to put it in a real dumpster later, or take it away with you. I know, nobody likes to be carrying garbage. But neither the others – nor nature – is responsible for the garbage you produced and left on the beach.

I really like the phrase that says: civility is the end of the blame game. That is, it doesn't matter if other people are doing the right thing or not. We make a choice to opt for civility and do the right thing regardless of what others are doing. This is called self-responsibility.

When leaving, in addition to collecting your garbage and personal belongings, be careful when shaking the towels or removing the sand from other objects.

It may sound like a lot, but it's not. All it takes is a little empathy, consideration and goodwill. With children, the sooner you start teaching and practicing these beach etiquette guidelines, the sooner they will assimilate these behaviors and display them naturally. — By Gabriela Vassimon

Our newest contributor, Gabriela Vassimon has been working as an etiquette consultant for nearly a decade. As Civility Expert’s Brazilian exclusive affiliate, Gabriela majored in Psychology, and has over 10 years of experience working with children, teenagers and adults in different sectors (clinic, school, orphanage, companies). Gabriela wears several hats as a psychologist, etiquette consultant and entrepreneur. She is a certified Children’s Character, Confidence and Courtesy Coach as well as Master Civility Trainer, member of ICTC (International Civility Trainer’s Consortium) and World Citizen Alliance, holds an MBA in people management, Gabriela is a continuous learner and eternal observer of human behavior. Recognizing that her passion is helping others to find the best versions of themselves, and aiming to build a kinder and more considerate world, Gabriela has launched Escola de Gentileza – civilidade e etiqueta (School of Kindness – civility and etiquette). The school offers training and classes in grooming, decorum, social graces, etiquette, and civility for all ages.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia