Etiquette for Farewells at Tea

Most commonly, afternoon teas begin any time from 3:00 pm to 3:30 pm, however any time between 2:00 pm and 5:00 pm is appropriate. Proper etiquette dictates one remove  gloves before eating or drinking anything, and when one is finished, prior to leaving, the gloves should be put back on.

Etiquette Outlined for Guests Departing a Tea

• Most commonly, afternoon teas begin any time from 3:00 pm to 3:30 pm, however any time between 2:00 pm and 5:00 pm is appropriate. 
• If you are having a particularly enjoyable time, watch your hostess and the other guests for cues as to when you should plan to depart. 
• Guests at such functions may feel free to leave after having had tea, that is, after about a half an hour. 
• Proper etiquette dictates one remove gloves before eating or drinking anything, and when one is finished, prior to leaving, the gloves should be put back on. 
• If the hostess for a formal tea is pouring, she need not rise when guests come by the table to bid her farewell. She merely bows, and perhaps, offers her hand. 
• If the hostess is not tied to the tea table with duties, but has friends pouring for her, then she should be sought out by departing guests, who thank her for her hospitality.

—The New York Times, 1964

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

An Afternoon Tea Primer

“High Tea” has nothing to do with “high society”, “upper class”, or “royalty”. It was actually a more hearty “supper style” meal that included meat between the bread (introduced by the Fourth Earl of Sandwich, thus the High Tea Sandwich), and happened to include tea, that was served in the early evening to the “working men” coming home very hungry from a hard day’s work. 

A Brief History of Afternoon Tea

“Afternoon Tea” was started in the mid-1800s by Anna Russell, Duchess of Bedford.  At that time in history, only two meals were common; a mid-morning breakfast and a somewhat late evening dinner.  The Duchess found herself with a “sinking feeling” in the late afternoon, with the unacceptably prolonged period of time between lunch and dinner. The Duchess decided to have some friends over for assorted snacks and tea – and the idea of an “afternoon tea” gathering became very popular among the elite, as well as a favorite pastime for “ladies of leisure”. The Duchess ordered a few delicacies and some tea to be brought to her boudoir.  The assortment was placed on her low bedside table, and this became known as “Low Tea”.  As time went on, the Duchess wished to enjoy these delights with friends in a more social setting – and so the parlor became the venue for “Afternoon Tea”.

“High Tea” – an often misused term for Afternoon Tea/Formal Tea/Royal Tea could not be more different from these specific tea formalities. “High Tea” has nothing to do with “high society”, “upper class”, or “royalty”. It was actually a more hearty “supper style” meal that included meat between the bread (introduced by the Fourth Earl of Sandwich and thus the High Tea Sandwich), and happened to include tea, that was served in the early evening to the “working men” coming home VERY hungry from a hard day’s work.  This meal, like “Low Tea”, is so named, due to the height of the table on which it was served – to accommodate the height of the men who typically stood at the table or sat on high stools to feast. This meal gradually became more important on the social calendars of Ladies and Gentlemen and was enjoyed prior to social events like attending the theater or playing cards. 

On a quick note, “Royal Tea” or “Champagne Tea” simply mean a delightful addition of the bubbly to the occasion. 

Meet our newest contributor, Jonnie Fox Flanagan. Born and raised in New Orleans, Louisiana she enjoyed exquisite dining at famous and fabulous restaurants such as Brennans, Arnauds, Commander’s Palace, Emeril’s, before moving to southern California. Ms. Flanagan, busy as the lead singer of Jonnie Fox and the Satinettes, also founded The Magnolia School of Etiquette and Protocol, offering classes in the art of fine dining, good manners, and the social civilities that enhance our society with kindness and graciousness. Workshops include private consultation to brides, business professionals, individuals, university etiquette dinners, corporate conferences, and group workshops for children ages 5+.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Tea Rituals and Scone Etiquette

This looks delicious, but it is not "the done thing" to cut a scone, slather clotted cream and jam on, then put the scone back together to form a kind of bulky sandwich. Scones are broken, much like a bread roll. The scone (pronounced as in “gone” not as in “cone”) is to be eaten in a very particular way. Scones are served whole and preferably warm from the oven, and as with bread you break a scone with your fingers, and spread the jam and cream on, bite-size by bite-size piece. One should never be seen to cut a scone with a knife.

The Beginnings of the Afternoon Tea Ritual 

The British ritual of afternoon tea is attributed to Anna Maria, 7th Duchess of Bedford. The Duchess was staying as a guest of John Manners, the 5th Duke of Rutland, at Belvoir Castle in Leicestershire when she found herself experiencing a “sinking feeling” during the long hours between midday luncheon and late evening dinner. 

She requested a snack of tea and cake to curb her hunger and found that she so enjoyed it that she invited her friends to join her. She continued the social gatherings when she returned to her home at Woburn Abbey and even took her own silver tea equipment with her when she went to visit her friends in their castles and palaces.

A stunning, late 19th century silver and enamel tea service. Tea services added to the ceremony of Victorian afternoon tea we know today.  

As the popularity of this new found ritual spread amongst the upper and middle classes the Victorians unsurprisingly began producing new specially designed apparatus to further enhance the enjoyment of afternoon tea. So up sprang all the elegant tea pots and kettles and creamers and tea strainers, and subsequently the ceremony of afternoon tea grew into what we know today.– Contributor Rachel North Contributor Rachel North is an etiquette and afternoon tea enthusiast with a love for anything -ancient and historical. Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1920s Afternoon Tea Etiquette

 An informal outdoor tea in the open, on the lawn or in the garden, is perfect for when the weather is nice, or if your guests aren't planning on staying too long.

Afternoon Teas

Afternoon teas are of two kinds, formal and informal, and the informal outdoor tea in the open, on the lawn or in the garden, is a variant of the latter variety. Here the tea wagon comes into play, and tea is often tea in name only, since at summer outdoor teas not only iced tea, but iced coffee, iced chocolate or punch are often served.

The Informal Tea

Do not set a table for the informal tea. The tea service is merely brought to the sun parlor, drawing room or living room in which the tea is to be served, and placed on the table. There the hostess makes and pours the tea, unless she prefers to have it brought in on a tea tray already made for pouring.

The tea service comprises: a teakettle for boiling water with filled alcohol lamp and matches; a tea caddy with teaspoon and (if only a few cups are to be made) a tea ball. A tea creamer, cut sugar, a saucer of sliced lemon, and cups and saucers with spoon on cup saucer, as well as tea napkins complete the service. The water brought in the teakettle should be hot. If this precaution is observed, the tea will boil very soon after the lamp is lighted. The sandwiches served at an informal afternoon tea should be very simple: lettuce, olive or nut butter, or plain bread and butter, nor should the small cakes also passed be elaborate or rich.


The Formal Tea

The formal tea—a tea becomes formal as soon as cards are sent out for it—is a very different affair. As many as four ladies may pour, two during the first, and two during the second hour. Friends of the hostess—they serve all refreshments, though waitresses assist, removing soiled cups and plates and bringing in fresh ones—preside at either table end, and the table is decorated (flowers and candles). At one end of the luncheon cloth (or the table may be laid with doilies) stands the service tray, with teapot, hot-water pot, creamer, sugar bowl with tongs and cut sugar, and sliced lemons in dish with lemon fork. The tray also contains cup and saucers (each saucer with spoon, handle paralleling cup). The coffee, bouillon or chocolate service is established in the same manner at the other end of the table. If coffee is served, the service tray is equipped with urn, cream and sugar; if chocolate, whipped cream in bowl with ladle; if bouillon, the urn alone.

Each lady who pours must have a large napkin convenient to guard her gown. Arranged along the table should be plates of sandwiches and cakes, bonbon dishes and dishes with salted nuts. But the table must not be crowded. This important rule is responsible for the existence of the frappe table.

The frappe table holds the afternoon tea punch. Since the dining room is apt to be well filled as it is, the frappe table had best be established in some other room. On its luncheon cloth is set the punch or frappe bowl with ladle, and individual ices, frozen creams (not too rich or elaborate) or punch are served in frappe or punch bowls by a friend of the hostess. The small plates on which the frappe glasses are served should be piled on the table with doilies (linen always) between the plates. When served, the glass is filled with the sherbet or cream, and a sherbet spoon laid at the right-hand side of plate (a tray of sherbet spoons belongs to the frappe table equipment, as well as a filled cake basket, dishes of candy, piles of small plates and small linen napkins). Unless you are entertaining guests to the number of a hundred or more, never use paper doilies at a formal afternoon tea!

A pretty custom dictates that young girl friends of the hostess serve the guests. They provide the latter with plate and napkin, ask their choice of beverage, and serve it, together with sandwiches and cakes. Or the plates and napkins may be handed the guests as they enter by a waitress stationed at the door, before they are served by the young girls.

A salad should never be offered at a formal afternoon tea! To do so is to commit a social solecism.” — From Lillian B. Lansdown's 1922, “How to Prepare and Serve a Meal; and Interior Decoration.”

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Tea Tables

Mrs. Beeton's Lovely Tea Table

To return to the tea-table ...

Unless you are positively sure, when you have a visiter, that she drinks the same tea that is used in your own family, you should have both black and green on the table. Either sort is often extremely disagreeable to persons who take the other.

Drinkers of green tea, for instance, have generally an unconquerable aversion to black, as tasting like hay, herbs, etc., and they find in it no refreshing or exhilarating property. In some, it produces nausea. Few, on the other hand, dislike the taste of good green tea, but they assign as a reason for not drinking it, that it is supposed from its enlivening qualities to affect the nerves.

Judge Bushrod Washington, who always drank green, and avoided black, said that, “he took tea as a beverage, not as a medicine.” And there are a vast number of sensible people in the same category. If your guest is a votary of green tea, have it made for her, in time for the essence of the leaves to be well drawn forth. It is no compliment to give her green tea that is weak and washy. 

And do not, at your own table, be so rude as to lecture her upon the superior wholesomeness of black tea. For more than a century, green tea was universally drunk in every house, and there was then less talk of nervous diseases than during the reign of Souchong,—which, by-the-bye, is nearly exploded in the best European society.

In pouring out, do not fill the cups to the brim. Always send the cream and sugar round, that each person may use those articles according to their own taste. Also, send round a small pot of hot water, that those who like their tea weak may conveniently dilute it. If tea is handed, a servant should, at the last, carry round a water-pitcher and glasses.

Whether at dinner or tea, if yourself and family are in the habit of eating fast, (which, by the way, is a very bad and unwholesome one, and justly cited against us by our English cousins,) and you see that your visiter takes her food deliberately, endeavour (for that time at least) to check the rapidity of your own mastication, so as not to finish before she has done, and thus compel her to hurry herself uncomfortably, or be left alone while every one round her is sitting unoccupied and impatient. Or rather, let the family eat a little more than usual, or seem to do so, out of politeness to their guest.

When refreshments are brought in after tea, let them be placed on the centre-table, and handed round from thence by the gentlemen to the ladies. If there are only four or five persons present, it may be more convenient for all to sit round the table—which should not be cleared till after all the visiters have gone, that the things may again be offered before the departure of the guests.

If a friend makes an afternoon call, and you wish her to stay and take tea, invite her to do so at once, as soon as she has sat down; and do not wait till she has risen to depart. If she consents to stay, there will then be ample time to make any additional preparation for tea that may be expedient; and she will also know, at once, that you have no engagement for the evening, and that she is not intruding on your time, or preventing you from going out. If you are intimate friends, and your guest is disposed to have a long chat, she will do well to ask you, at the beginning, if you are disengaged, or design going out that afternoon.

We knew a very sensible and agreeable lady in Philadelphia, who liking better to have company at home than to go out herself, made a rule of inviting every day, half a dozen friends (not more) to take tea with her—just as many as could sit round the table, "with ample room and verge enough." These friends she assorted judiciously. And therefore she never asked a whole family at once; those who were left out understanding that they would be invited another time.

In pouring out, do not fill the cups to the brim. Always send the cream and sugar round, that each person may use those articles according to their own taste. Also, send round a small pot of hot water, that those who like their tea weak may conveniently dilute it. 

For instance, she would send a note for the father and mother only—to meet another father and mother or two. A few weeks after, a billet would come for the young people only. But if there were several young people, some were delayed—thus—"I wish James and Eliza to take tea with me this evening, to meet so-and-so. Another time I promise myself the pleasure of Edward's company, and Mary's."

This distribution of invitations never gave offence. Those who were honoured with the acquaintance of such a lady were not likely to be displeased at so sensible a mode of receiving them. These little tea-drinkings were always pleasant, and often delightful. The hostess was well qualified to make them so.

Though the refreshments were of the best kind, and in sufficient abundance, and the fires, lights, etc. all as they should be, there was no ostentatious display, and the ladies were dressed no more than if they were spending a quiet evening at home—party-finery being interdicted—also, such needle-work as required constant attention to every stitch.

If you have a friend who is in somewhat precarious health, and who is afraid of being out in the night air, or who lives in a distant part of the town, invite her to dinner, or to pass the day, rather than to tea. She will then be able to get home before twilight.

There is in Boston a very fashionable and very distinguished lady, who, since her return from Europe, has relinquished the custom of giving large parties; and now entertains her friends by, almost every day, having two or three to dine with her,—by invitation. These dinners are charming. The hour is according to the season—earlier in winter, later in summer—the guests departing before dark, and the lady always having the evening to herself.

We know a gentleman in Philadelphia, who every Monday has a family-dinner at his house, for all his children and grandchildren, who there meet and enjoy themselves before the eyes of the father and mother—a friend or two being also invited. Nothing can be more pleasant than to see them all there together, none staying away,—for parents, children, sons-in-law, daughters-in-law, sisters-in-law, brothers-in-law, are all at peace, and all meeting in friendship—unhappily, a rare case, where there is a large connection, and considerable wealth.

We wish that social intercourse was more frequently conducted on the plan of the few examples above cited.

Should chance-visiters come in before the family have gone to tea, let them at once be invited to partake of that repast; which they will of course decline, if they have had tea already. In a well-provided house, there can be no difficulty in adding something to the family tea-table, which, in genteel life, should never be discreditably parsimonious.

It is a very mean practice, for the members of the family to slip out of the parlour, one by one at a time, and steal away into the eating-room, to avoid inviting their visiter to accompany them. The truth is always suspected by these separate exits, and the length of absence from the parlour—and is frequently betrayed by the rattle of china, and the pervading fumes of hot cakes. How much better to meet the inconvenience (and it cannot be a great one) by decently conducting your accidental guest to the table, unless he says he has already taken tea, and will amuse himself with a book while the family are at theirs.

Casual evening visiters should avoid staying too late. Ten o'clock, in our country, is the usual time to depart, or at least to begin departing. If the visit is unduly prolonged, there may be evident signs of irrepressible drowsiness in the heads of the family, which, when perceived, will annoy the guest, who must then feel that he has stayed too long—and without being able to excuse himself with any approach to the elegance of William Spencer's apology to the charming Lady Anne Hamilton.

Too late I stay'd—forgive the crime; Unheeded flew the hours,For noiseless falls the foot of Time That only treads on flowers. Ah! who with clear account remarksThe ebbing of the glass,When all its sands are diamond sparks,That dazzle as they pass!– From The Ladies Guide to True Politeness and Perfect Manners, by Miss Leslie, 1864

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Tea Time for Men

The Brighton, England, Swim Club enjoyed an "Aquatic Tea Party" in the 1880s. They were much more accustomed to tea drinking than the young gents in San Francisco 30 years later. It's doubtful anyone would see them bobbing and sipping tea in the San Francisco Bay in 1913.

Tea Hour in the Hotels ~ 
A Fashionable Function 
for Men in 1913

"Lemon or cream?" "Must I take it?" JLJ "Certainly. No young man can afford to be ignorant of the correct thing in tea nowadays." "That's why you lured me into this den of insipidity, then?" "Of course' but tea is not insipid, although it may be insidious. It shows that you have been unspeakably dull and behind the times that you don't take kindly to tea. Why, if you stay in San Francisco a few weeks you will gravitate to the tearoom without compulsion." 

"If that's the case, I'm precious glad that my vacation's up tomorrow. I'd be ashamed to have the fellows know that I'd been caught in a mess like this." "Hello, there's Binks! I'd never have expected to see him here." "Another proof of your ignorance of the fascinations of the tea hour. Oh, how nice! 'Binks'—Mr. Billington—is coming over here." The big college athlete, the hero of thousands, balanced his big body in a gilded chair. "Yes, thank you, tea for mine. No trimmings, just tea." The girl beamed upon him and called the attention of the other young man to this. There's proof that tea drinking is a manly pastime; whereupon the youth dutifully asked for a second cup.

Every table in the gray tearoom of the big hotel was taken. Young people whose holidays were about to end predominated, and chatter about the dances of the last fortnight and the call of the various schools and colleges to which they were about to return floated on the air and passed from table to table, for there were so many of the same set in the place that it seemed like a social affair rather than a gathering in a public dining room. 
                                           

"Tea? No, thank you; I will have a highball, if you don't mind," is the formula of many men who are willing enough to go to the tea room for a pleasant hour, but draw the line at succumbing to the gentle stimulus of the tea cup. 

Not every one in the big tearooms drinks tea. Some keen observer has said of men that they have to be very fashionable, indeed, to take their afternoon teas if they liked it. American men have been slowly led into participation in this habit, which they long regarded as exotic and therefore to be considered with suspicion. Even men who liked the taste of tea at home were shy of exhibiting the weakness in public places. 

Slowly but surely the influence of women, who hailed the tea hour not only as a pleasant one for themselves, but as a time when they might win men to additional relaxation, has had its effect. The number of men who are willing to seek the tea room not only for the sake of its social pleasures, but because they want to be refreshed by a cup of tea, is constantly increasing. 

However, there are still those uncaught by the lure of tea, even when prepared à la Russe, or otherwise doctored to virilize it by the addition of spice or liquors. "Tea? No, thank you; I will have a highball, if you don't mind," is the formula of many men who are willing enough to go to the tea room for a pleasant hour, but draw the line at succumbing to the gentle stimulus of the tea cup. 

Sickening sweet pastries? These look really good. I wonder what Binks was having...

"I wouldn't mind the tea so much if it wasn't for that sickening sweet pastry that you are supposed to eat with it," objected one man. "How about toasted muffins or thin slices of bread and butter?" "Oh, they are even more degenerate. I couldn't be seen eating them outside the privacy of my own house. I haven't yet quite gotten over the feeling that tea is a nice lady like drink and that I make concession enough in sitting by while some pretty girl makes eyes at me over her cup while I take my man's drink or smoke my cigarette. A girl looks as pretty as a man does foolish drinking tea in a beflowered tearoom, in my opinion." Those are terribly old fashioned sentiments. 

Looks like this young man has decided on bread with his tea! "While the winning of the men is a triumphant achievement, the tearoom remains sacred to many demonstrations of the peculiarly feminine."

The line between tea drinkers and those who partake of other beverages is not marked solely by sex. As more men come to drinking tea so many a woman prefers a more stimulating drink than that which comes out of a teapot, and may be seen sharing a bottle of champagne with a man or partaking of a cocktail or a highball. This passes without comment, but upon the still infrequent appearance of a girl who has lighted her cigarette in the tearoom the gaze and criticism turned upon her have given expression to the conservatism that still prevails in the tearoom, informal as it is in many ways. 

While the winning of the men is a triumphant achievement, the tearoom remains sacred to many demonstrations of the peculiarly feminine. It is a most convenient and delightful hour for dropping in from a shopping tour or to talk over arrangements for entertainments and all sorts of social and personal affairs. Above all, however, it offers excellent vantage ground for showing and observing the latest fashions at close range and with abundant leisure. 

"Don't you love the music here ?" one sweet young girl inquired of another. "No, indeed; I come here to talk, not to enter into competition with a foreign orchestra." "Well, I don't think the music is loud enough for that; I find that it is just enough to protect me from being overheard; also it gives one an excuse for leaning closer together when one is conversing with a friend." In the big hotels of the large cities the rooms devoted to the service of tea are seldom empty during the late afternoon, yet in all the pleasant throng there are few who pursue tea as do their English cousins because they can not do without it. For most of them the teapot is still the emblem of a pleasant hour and causerie. - News From San Francisco, 1913

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tea Etiquette in Scotland

It is a most distracting matter to decide whether to take strawberry, raspberry or black currant or damson jam...

We asked Clarice this morning if tea drinking is as general a custom in Scotland as it is in England, and she immediately threw up her hands.

"Oh, much more so," she said, "especially in Glasgow: I must tell you about the Glasgow tearooms, which are just about the brightest spots in that very interesting city, and so inexpensive. Fancy being able to lunch to repletion on 6 pence that's 12 cents of our money, you know; and where too, the girls with a taste for sweets can indulge in it for the same price, since nearly everything in sight is sweet!

Every variety of bread known to Scotland– scones, potato scones, sweet milk scones, currant scones, brown scones

"Fancy a table spread with every variety of bread known to Scotland– scones, potato scones, sweet milk scones, currant scones, brown scones, all rather heavy and suggesting indigestion, but so good: bread and butter with carvies (caraway seeds covered with sugar), "bawbee baps," oatcakes, and endless other varieties of doughy confection. Then come cakes, and cookies, and buns, and little tarts, and then, best of all, arranged in a neat square in the center of the table, diminutive pots of jam each holding enough for one person of good, but not too greedy, appetite."

Take a small cup of tea for two pence, on the chance of not wanting another, or to take the large cup for three pence in the beginning, and in the end save a penny! ~ When stirring your tea, do so quietly, without clinking your spoon on the cup. When done stirring, quietly place your tea spoon to the right of the cup on the saucer, in the 5:00 position. Always leave your saucer on the table if you are seated. Do not lift it up with the cup. Lastly, keep your pinky finger curled! A pinky finger up in the air exhibits an affectation and poor manners when drinking from a cup, regardless of what you've heard or read!

But after your artistic sense has been delighted by a birds eye view of all these glories your real difficulties begin. In the first place it is a most distracting matter to decide whether to take strawberry, raspberry or black currant or damson jam, and having decided to chase the last to lose the berry around and around the bottom of the jar before catching and depositing it on your plate."


"Then, unless you are of such extravagant turn of mind that you disregard the price list propped up in a neat frame in the middle of the table, there are other most complicated calculations to be made. If a potato scone and butter cost a penny and a sweet milk's scone cost two pence, and a bun also costs a penny, shall I eat a sweet milk scone, which I like, or a potato scone and a bun, which I do not care for, but which will appease my ravenous appetite better than the sweet milky scone? It is a dreadful problem, but no more so than to decide whether to take a small cup of tea for two pence, on the chance of not wanting another, or to take the large cup  for three pence in the beginning, and in the end save a penny."                   

Oh yes, they drink tea in Edinburgh too!

"On the whole, the better way is to say 'never mind expenses,' and eat regardless, and then, when having consumed so many scones and cakes, that the suggestion of 'another bun' is horrifying, you begin a laborious calculation of what you have really eaten, and experience and unexpected thrill at discovering you have devoured the enormous sum of eight pence, half penny."

"Oh yes, they drink tea in Edinburgh too, but then Edinburgh is so beautiful that you do not need anything like tea to brighten you up. Edinburgh is conceded by globe trotters to be one of the most beautiful cities in the world, and the view from Calton Hill is always a favorite with the tourist." – San Francisco Call, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Moderator for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and American Tea Culture

Now and then one sees men scattered through the fashionable throng enjoying a cup of fragrant tea instead of a more masculine kind of drink. It is the fashion now to invite your friends to take tea with you and a fashion that is both sane and enjoyable. 

Will You Have a Cup of Tea? 

Every Woman is Serving It Now 

Everybody takes afternoon tea now. Society women meet for a little chat and a bite to eat when sipping their favorite Ceylon or Formosa; business women leave their work a few minutes early or snatch a short respite for the pleasure of the tea drinking hour; matinee girls have transferred their affections from ice cream sodas to Oolong and sweets, and now and then one sees men scattered through the fashionable throng enjoying a cup of fragrant tea, instead of a more masculine kind of drink. It is the fashion now to invite your friends to take tea with you and a fashion that is both sane and enjoyable.
    

Tea was always fashionable in some circles. 

If there is the least lingering doubt in the mind of any one as to the popularity of the tea our glimpse through any of the fashionable restaurants or small tearooms will dissipate the suspicion forever. Once it was the luncheon hour at which Women gathered for gossip and refreshment, but now that tea hour is the time set for this combination of pleasures. Luncheon parties are still given, but they are not half so popular and entertaining as the 5 o'clock tea gathering.

Informal tea drinking at home exists, or rather the fashion is being introduced in many homes with the serving of afternoon tea was an event instead of a daily occurrence. Friends dropping in on their way home from A shopping tour or after the matinee supply the atmosphere of the chatty crowded two rooms overlooking Fifth Avenue, but the home tea is never quite the same as the more brilliant and kaleidoscopic scene of the restaurant tea room. There women meet their friends, see the newest fashions, and hear the latest tidbit of gossip.
               

Tea was introduced to Americans by the British 

Having been introduced to the tea drinking habit by the English, we have made of variation or two in which does not diminish the social function's popularity, though it converts it into a more substantial repast than the original afternoon tea. Either we shall have to advance the regular tea hour, or adjust the dinner one hour, said a well-known restauranteur when discussing the growing habit of tea drinking in this country.

                

Oh yes! We American women are fond of eating cakes and French pastry! 

American women are so fond of eating cakes, sandwiches, French pastry, and ices with their afternoon tea that their appetites must suffer and their weights increase. They partake of a substantial tea at 5:00 or 5:30 and dine between 6 and 7. There is a greater demand each season for French pastry with tea while the modest little sandwich and the wafer recede further and further into the deep recesses of the stewards' domain.
                                
                                 A plate of cakes and dainties.

Tea and muffins, tea and toast, or tea and crumpets, used to form the menu for either a restaurant tea or one served at home, and when these dainties are perfectly prepared and brought in crisp and hot, there is nothing more delicious. Currant buns are a sweet and appetizing accompaniment to a fragrant cup of tea and in certain tea rooms, they are a specialty.

                 
Americans now have the distinction of being called tea connoisseurs — and this is a distinction indeed when one has sampled a few of the foreign brew afternoon beverages that are made in a teapot.

The hostess can pick up many useful ideas on tea serving and what to have with tea from the best restaurants and tea rooms. She will find that her guests like muffins, sandwiches and buns and that they revel in sweets, so that it is always wise to include some cakes among the tea table viands.

A plate of plain bread and butter sandwiches cut very thin and perfectly fresh should be served with the other delicacies. There will be some guests who prefer the simple fare to the more elaborate sweets of the American tea table. Brown bread treated in the same way is excellent with tea and offers a little variation to the white bread. The home tea table should excel in this particular dainty, for it is easy to prepare and one of the most difficult orders to have filled satisfactorily in a restaurant.
Nut mixtures spread between thin slices of bread, thin layers of cheese or cream cheese mixed with seasoning and nuts and either brown or white bread with crisp lettuce leaves and a bit of mayonnaise will prove an inspiration to the woman who is flagged from a tiresome shopping trip or a long interview with her dressmaker. The host of palatable tea table sandwiches is almost limitless if the hostess will only take the trouble to prepare them, or see that they are prepared.
                  

Reading tea leaves to tell one's fortune, was a popular pastime. 

Where the cook is accomplished in the art of scone making, these delicious Southern dainties should by all means have a place of honor on the afternoon tea table. One woman owes a large part of her social success and popularity to the scones and tea she serves two or three afternoons a week.

Women as well as men are susceptible to culinary attractions, and few can resist the crisp yellow brown scones that come piping hot from the oven and are spread with melting butter.
                                    

A samovar is worth its weight in gold in the making of perfect tea. In fact, tea rooms depend entirely upon those tall Russian water heaters for the perfect preparation of their afternoon tea, where cup after cup is made in quick succession. And in nearly all the fashionable tea rooms you will see these brass ornamental objects steaming merrily behind tall vases of flowers and surrounded by a regiment of china teapots. 

A much prized recipe for afternoon tea biscuits, one that is not even confided to a friend, but has been treasured by a single household for generations, has a mixture of mustard and cheese that baffles the analytical powers of all who partake of this delicacy. It is one of the simplest tea table accompaniments. Tea biscuits, either homemade or those that come from a good bakery, form the foundation of this appetizing viand.

The biscuits are split open, and each half is spread with a little mustard, then sprinkled with grated cheese and spread with butter, and the disks are ready for a visit to the hot oven, where they should remain long enough to convert the tops of the biscuits into a rich yellow brown crust and to heat them all the way through. Afterward, they should be taken from the oven and served immediately before the cheese takes on a gummy consistency. This unusual and simply prepared tea delicacy will tempt any woman to run the risk of spoiling her appetite for dinner, even spoiling her complexion, one might almost say, for the sake of tasting the dainty piquant morsel, as it fairly melts in her mouth.

Americans now have the distinction of being called tea connoisseurs — and this is a distinction indeed when one has sampled a few of the foreign brew afternoon beverages that are made in a really. Not only do we know good tea, but we understand the art of serving, which is quite as important as the selection of leaves. English breakfast tea with cream is the favorite brand served in the restaurant tearooms, while Ceylon, Formosa, and some of the special blends taken with thin slices of lemon and sugar have a host of devotees.

                                     

Tea connoisseurs? 

Novices who preside over a samovar, often encounter a great difficulty deal of difficulty in lighting the charcoal and keeping the fire burning. Where the tea hour extends over a long period and hot water must be at hand all the time the Samovar requires occasional replenishing both with water and fuel. After the handful or more of charcoal has been dropped into the chimney — and it must be remembered that the charcoal should be sorted and only the good pieces retained as the others will smoke — a little alcohol poured over the fuel before lighting will start it burning merrily. Afterward one need only glance into the chimney now and then to see that there is enough fuel.

Sparks and black cinders will fly upward and then settle over every object in the room, including the guests, if the charcoal is dropped into the fire carelessly. The proper way is to let it fall gently to the bottom of the chimney or else remove the samovar from the room during the act of replenishing.

Studio tea hosts and hostesses favor the samovar on account of the picturesque note it gives to the surroundings. Others have looked upon the Russian water heater as an affectation, useless and awkward, because they did not know how to use it. Restaurants have given it a place of honor on the tea table and consider it essential to perfect tea making and serving. — From The San Francisco Call, November 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age D.C. Society and Etiquette

Gilded Age Washington society life was one of granduer and continual entertainment and parties, even in the coldest of Washington DC months. The etiquette was rigid and all of the details were scrupulously covered in the press - nationally and internationally.

Washington Social Life

Dinner at the White House to the Diplomatic Corps., a Luncheon by Mrs. Leland Stanford, a Reception by Mr. and Mrs. A. C. Barney, and a Tea by the Corean Minister and Wife...

Washington, February 2, 1892-
The state dinner given at the White House tonight was in honor of the Diplomatic Corps, which august body of Ministers Plenipotentiary and Chargés d'Affaires was well represented. The dinner, as compared with that of last season, was attended by unusually large number of ladies of the Corps. The decorations in the East Room were on a more elaborate scale than at the dinner given to the Cabinet. A large oval basket of maidenhair fern, thickly studded with pink orchids of the variety Cattleya triannal, formed the centerpiece, on each side of which were semi-circular plates of ferns, surrounded by narrow gilt railing and filled with crotons, cypripediums, and dracenaes, from the middle of which rose the spiked leaves of variegated pineapple. At each end of the transverse sections of the table were oval baskets of ferns and Dendrobium nobilis orchids, flanked on the sides with smaller circular plats of ferns and different varieties of orchids.                              

Exotic flowers were en vogue and considered very proper for entertaining.

Boutonnieres for the gentlemen were of Dendrobium Wardianum. For the ladies, in place of the conventional bouquets, were Watteau bows of Heliotrope pink in the shade of the orchids. One end of the ribbon was painted in gold with the name of the guest, and on the other was engraved the front view of the White House and grounds. The guests were Secretary and Mrs. Blaine, Minister and Mme. Romero, Chargés d'Affaires of the Italian Legation; the Ministers of the Netherlands, Turkey, France, Austria-Hungary, Colombia, Switzerland, Argentine Republic, Belgium; Sweden, China, Portugal, Guatemala, Salvador, the Chargés d'Affaires of Russia, Spain, and Germany; Chargés d'Affaires of Costa Rica and Señora Calvo, Minister of Japan and Mme Tateno, the Hawaiian Minister and Mrs. Mott-Smith, the Corean Chargés d'Affaires and Mrs. Ye Cha Yun and Nicaraguan Minister and Mrs. Guzman.

Spiked leaves of variegated pineapple... No expense was spared for entertaining the Diplomatic Corps.

England was the only country not represented at the dinner, owing to the six weeks' mourning to be observed by the members of the legation for the late Duke of Clarence. There were also present the Haitian Minister, Senator and Mrs. Manderson, Senator and Mrs. Frye, Senator and Mrs. Sherman, Representative and Mrs. Blount, Representative and Mrs. Holman, Mrs. Russell, Mrs. Dimmick. Count and Countess Sponneck sent regrets in the afternoon upon receipt of a cablegram announcing the death of a near relative.
                                 

Mr. and Mrs. Leland Stanford, photographed with their son, Leland Stanford, Jr. on a trip to Paris in the 1880s. Their son died shortly after, and the Stanfords later founded Stanford University in his honor.

The most elegant luncheon of the season was the one given today by Mrs. Leland Stanford in honor of Mrs. Harrison. The long table was laid in the spacious blue and white banquet hall recently added to her residence on K St. In the bay window to the east, among the plants, was an aquarium filled with goldfish, with birds in cages on each side. From the white buffet and mantel hung the branches of branches of orange trees laden with fruit and tied with gold-colored ribbon. Over the cloth of blue and white brocaded satin damask at each end or squares of blue satin under lace on which rested gilt baskets on jonquils tied with yellow ribbon. Beyond these were low epergnes holding varieties of California fruit, single bunches of grapes filling flat cut-glass dishes. 

The centerpiece of lilies of the valley and yellow tulips filled a scalloped shell epergne of gold and silver, which restaurant on the silver-bordered mirror. At the end of each of this were silver and cut-glass stands of fresh strawberries. White tapers burned under white-and-gold shades. The flagons and wine glasses were Bohemian glass, beautifully decorated in figures and flowers. Souvenirs of the luncheon were card cases of different colors in satin, on the cover of which, and gold lettering, was the name of the guest. A service of repoussé gold was used at the first course. About the room were groups and figures of marble statuary, while the walls were hung with valuable paintings.

“A service of repoussé gold was used at the first course.” Repoussé flatware remains a popular choice for hosts and hostesses today.

The guests at lunch and were Mrs. Harrison, Mrs. Morton, Mrs. Elkins, Mrs. Noble, Mme. Romero, Mrs. Schofield, Mrs. Justice Brown, Mrs. Sheridan, Mrs. Gorman, Mrs. Senator Dixon, Mrs. John Sherwood, Countess Esterhazy, Mrs. Menocal, Mrs. Swift of California, Mrs. Montgomery, Mrs. McKenna of California, Mrs. Justice Field, Mrs. Sherman, Mrs. Carlisle, Miss Gray, Mrs. Washburn, Mrs. McPherson, and Mrs. Bruen.

Mr. and Mrs. A. C. Barney gave a large reception tonight at their residence on Rhode Island Ave. The host and hostess received in the music room. The hostess wore a gown of white satin brocade and lace, with diamonds. Among the guests were Vice President and Mrs. Morton, secretary and Mrs. Blaine, Secretary Elkins, Justice and Mrs. Fields, Justice Blatchford, Senator Hale, Representative and Mrs. Bellamy Storer, Senator and Mrs. McPherson, Senator and Mrs. Manderson, Commander and Mrs. Train, General and Mrs. Nicholas Anderson, Senator and Mrs. and Miss McMillan, Mr. and Mrs. Marcellus Bailey, Dr. and Mrs. McKim, Dr. and Mrs. Lincoln, Miss Gale, Miss Biddle, Miss Pendleton, Dr. Bispham, Mrs. Sheridan, Mr. and Mrs. Audenreid, Mrs. and Miss Holick, Miss James, Mrs. and Miss Richardson, mr. and Mrs. Pollak, Miss Brewster of New York, Mr. and Mrs. Newlands, Miss McAllister, Mr. and Mrs. Nelson Brown, Miss Brown, Lieutenant and Mrs. T.M.B. Mason, Miss Phenix, Mr. and Mrs. Emmons, Mr. and Miss Linden Kent, Mr. and Mrs. Slater, Mr. and Mrs. and Miss Warder, Representative and Mrs. Hitt, Assistant Secretary and Mrs. Stoley, Minister Leghalt, Mr. von Mumm, Minister Paternostre, Mr. Botkin, Mr. Horace Washington, Captain Cowles, Mr. Stevens, Mr. Jesse Brown, General Fullerton, Dr. Murray, Captain Dewey, and Lieutenant Buckingham.

The Corean Minister and Mrs. Ye Cha Yun gave a tea from 4 to 7 o'clock this afternoon which was largely attended by society. The parlors of the location were decorated with growing plants and smilax. Mrs. Ye received her guests in a native gown of light blue brocade with a waist of yellow, trimmed in garnet velvet. Her English is now quite perfect, and there was not the slightest hesitation in starting or sustaining conversation with the many who approached her desirous of that pleasure. Minister Ye remained by his wife's side during the earlier portion of the afternoon, as the company increased he mingled with the guests, escorting friends now and then to the dining room where the receiving party, in pretty light gowns, dispensed with the refreshments. 

In the first parlor Mrs. Sevellon Brown assisted in receiving. In the adjoining room Miss Thompson poured tea, and in the dining room Miss Moore served coffee frappé. Miss Cuthbert served bouillon, and Miss Beatrice Farquhar presided at a large bowl of punch. The other young ladies were Miss Riggs and Miss Thompson of Philadelphia.

Stunning, Gilded Age private ballroom in 1890s Washington D.C.

Mrs. Dixon, wife of Representative Dixon of Montana, gave a tea from 4 to 7 o'clock this afternoon in the ballroom of the Shoreham, which was elaborately decorated with flags which lined the walls on all sides and waved from the chandeliers and balconies about the apartment. In the south balcony, behind an arrangement of palms and plants, an orchestra played, the young people present availing themselves of the good music and perfect floor to enjoy dancing. The effect of the decorations and the elegant gowns of the receiving party as one entered the apartment was very agreeable. The hostess stood at the doorway leading to the ballroom, receiving in a gown of silver-gray satin with silver brocade and passementerie, with vest of pink crêpe. A bouquet of La France roses was carried.

Mrs. Charles Gibson wore black thread lace over ivory-tinted satin; Mrs. Carrie, white satin-striped tulle; Mrs. Governor McCreary, white satin brocaded in pompadour colors; Mrs. Hemphill, black lace with scarlet flowers; Miss McCeney, white brocade flowered in colors; Miss Carrie Parker, grey tulle with pink ribbons. The other ladies of the receiving party were Miss Lieutenant Williams, Miss Lieutenant Hare, Miss Howell, the Misses Newberry, Miss Helm, Mrs. Senator Saunders, and Mrs. Sutherland.

At the rear of the ballroom a delightful collation of salads, ices, sandwiches, cakes, confections, and champagne punch was served from an immense round table, in the center of which was a plant of ferns. From a smaller table tea was served by the young ladies.

Miss Lenore Armstrong gave a pink luncheon today in honor of Miss Lansing of Watertown. The guests were Miss Hazeltine, Miss Davidson, Miss Warfield, Ms. Scott, Miss Church, Miss Deering, Miss Buriitt, Miss Rundlett, Miss Kerr, Miss Todd, Miss Hunter, and Miss August. –New York Times, February 3, 1892

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia