Italian Dining Etiquette

If you're in Italy, most likely a large amount of your time will be spent eating. Make sure you do it right and read the do's and don'ts of the Italian dining table. 

Since Italian writer, Monsignor Giovanni Della Casa, published his 1558 treatise "The Galateo of Giovanni della Casa" (the word for "etiquette" in Italian is still "il galateo") on polite behavior in the 16th century, etiquette has become an important part of Italian society. It was the first of the modern books on etiquette that was not written for a special class of people. Centuries later, Alberto Presutti is convinced that etiquette still holds the key to "an effective communication between each one of us".  

Alberto Presutti, a Florence-based etiquette instructor who offers courses on anything from dining to business etiquette, gave The Local his tips on Italian dining…

Don't arrive early or on time. Fashionably late is the norm, as Italians are not famed for their punctuality. It pays to remember this fact when you’re invited to a dinner party. “Always arrive a few minutes after the appointed time – never before,” advises Presutti. “Take for granted that your host will still be preparing the food.”

"Buon Appetito" is likely one of the first expressions you learn in Italian. It's also one of the first you should forget.

One of the first phrases you may have learned in Italian is “buon appetito”; it’s also the first one you should forget. “Wishing someone ‘buon appetito’ in Italy is impolite,” says Presutti. “This is because in Italian courts in medieval times, the prince would sometimes offer banquets to his best servants and wish them “buon appetito” – meaning: ‘eat as much as you can because you may not be invited to another feast if you don’t behave yourselves.” Coincidentally, Etiquipedia has heard that this is the case in France as well. So forget the French phrase "bon appétit" if visiting there.

Place napkins on your lap only after the food has been brought to the table.

Hands should be seen. “Wrists should be on the table, but never your elbows. And don’t cross your hands,” warns Presutti. “That’s considered rude - it may look to others as if you’re hiding something," or even - God forbid - "touching yourself".

Regarding napkins, says Presutti, “These should be placed on your lap only after the food has been brought to the table. Use one by all means to wipe your mouth, but take care that the dirty part of your napkin is hidden.”

Regarding bread, rolls or breadsticks, Presutti advises “In Italy, we are big bread-eaters,” says Presutti. “It must always be served on a small plate to the left of your main plate, and broken off rather than cut with a knife – it’s the Christian way.” Stuffing yourself with bread before the meal arrives should be avoided. Presutti suggests nibbling on some grissini (breadsticks), which looks more elegant, if you really can’t wait to eat.

This knife and fork set, while unusual, is obviously for the fish course.

Always try to reach for the right fork. “In Italy, fish must be served with a special three-pronged fork and a knife similar to a butter knife,” says Presutti. However, he warns, don’t whatever you do use the knife to cut the fish. “The purpose of the knife is to remove the skin of the fish – you can use the fork to cut the flesh.”

Most people know that food and wine in Italy are like yin and yang. Don’t expect to have one at a meal without the other. “You’ll find that the wine will only be brought out with the food. This is because each wine is designed to go with a specific dish. Red wine will always be served with meat, whereas white wine will always be produced for fish –because it has a more delicate taste.”

Forget about your diet. “Being on a diet and having a meal are considered a contradiction in terms - so avoid mentioning to the host that you’re trying to lose weight,” says Presutti. Having said that, you will be forgiven for declining dessert. If you’re a vegetarian, you may be happier visiting a different country altogether: “In Italy, vegetarians are regarded as aliens from another planet.” And take note that a gathering with Italians can tend to be a bit noisy, with several people all speaking at the same time and talking over one another. Culturally, this is normal Italian social interaction and should not be mistaken for rudeness.

As with dining in any other country, watch your host. “You should only pick up your cutlery when the most important person in the room starts eating,” recommends Presutti. “At a private dinner party, this could be the hostess or simply the oldest guest at the table. At a business lunch, it would be the boss.” However, he adds, “in a restaurant, it’s fine to start first if your meal arrives before the others.”

With regard to the head of the table; “In Britain, hosts will nearly always sit at the far ends of a table - but in Italy, they sit in the middle of the longer sides of the table,” says Presutti. What if it’s a round table? “Imagine that there’s an invisible line going through the centre: the hosts will sit at either end.”

The main article referenced for this post appeared in Italy's, "The Local"

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Italian Business and Dining Etiquette

Food and business go hand in hand in Italy, and in “Little Italy.”

Congratulations, you’ve just been offered the role of your dreams in an Italian company.

Now for the hard part: adjusting to a new form of business etiquette.

To help you along the way, The Local spoke to Alberto Presutti, a Florence-based Italian etiquette expert who offers courses on anything etiquette-related from doing business to dining.

Throughout his career Presutti – who is also a poet – has made numerous television appearances on RAI and Sky and is often interviewed by the Italian press.

Ever since the Italian writer Monsignor Giovanni Della Casa published his treatise on polite behavior in the 16th century, etiquette has become an important part of Italian society.

Centuries later, Presutti is convinced that etiquette still holds the key to “an effective communication between each one of us”.

“Table manners in Italy are formal; rarely do Italians share food from their plates. In a restaurant, be formal and polite with your waiter—no calling across the room for attention. Italians do not have a culture of sipping cocktails or chugging pitchers of beer. Wine, beer, and other alcoholic drinks are almost always consumed as part of a meal. Public drunkenness is abhorred. Smoking has been banned in all public establishments, much like in the United States. Wiping your bowl clean with a (small) piece of bread is usually considered a sign of appreciation, not bad manners. Spaghetti should be eaten with a fork only, although a little help from a spoon won't horrify locals the way cutting spaghetti into little pieces might. Order your espresso (Italians don't usually drink cappuccino after breakfast time) after dessert, not with it. Don't ask for a doggy bag. In self-service bars and cafés it's good manners to clean your table before you leave.” From Fodors

6 Tips for Italian Business Etiquette:

1. Punctuality. While Presutti accepts that being on time is one of the first rules of global business etiquette he admits that Italy has fallen victim to a “slapdash attitude” towards punctuality, even among professionals. “Meetings begin punctually late: they start late and they finish late,” he says.

2. Watch your language. In Italy it’s very important to use the right language with your superiors, warns Presutti. Above all, you should remember the difference between the polite you (“Lei”) and the informal “Tu”. “There are very precise rules, according to hierarchical relationships, and in business etiquette, the rule of ‘Lei’ applies.” However, he acknowledges that there are moments and situations in business when these rules are relaxed.

3. Kiss or handshake? You may be used to greeting your Italian chums with a traditional peck on both cheeks but in the workplace this kind of behaviour should be strictly avoided. “In terms of business etiquette at a place of work, mawkishness, hugs and kisses are anything but acceptable,” warns Presutti. Business etiquette provides a code of behaviour that recalls the correct rules of an honest and genuine professional relationship." A good old-fashioned handshake will do just fine, he says.

“Dining with a client or a supplier is the best way to make their acquaintance and strike up a fruitful and useful business relationship.” Alberto Presutti

4. It's all about the food. It will probably come as no surprise that food and business go hand in hand in Italy. “Often in Italy the most important business is concluded at table over a glass of wine or good food,” says Presutti. “Dining with a client or a supplier is the best way to make their acquaintance and strike up a fruitful and useful business relationship.”

5. Be spontaneous. While in England, formality and following protocol are paramount, in Italy business meetings are more spontaneous and emotions tend to come to the fore, according to Presutti. “In Italian business meetings, space is also given to improvisation and to ideas that are formed on the spot.”

6. Dress to impress. “L’abito non farebbe il monaco” (The habit doesn’t make the priest), according to an Italian proverb – but this is incorrect, according to Presutti. “Because whoever is equipped with a good knowledge of manners and business etiquette knows that elegance and style are fundamental elements." – From an article originally published in The Local

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia