Gilded Age Letters of Introduction

In the gilded age, letters of all types, including letters of introductions, were commonplace. Men and women alike were praised for excellence in penmanship. This letter from the Meriden Britannia silver company above is from 1893. - Image source, Etiquipedia private library.

In the giving of letters of introduction, permission should first be granted even in the case of intimate friends, as the introduction of a person whom you do not know thoroughly and well is attended with danger in many cases, and more particularly when the presentation is made by letter, as the written words always appear to carry more weight with them than the spoken ones, and the recipient of such an epistle feels in duty bound to show the newly introduced every courtesy that lies either in his or her power.

Many unpleasant happenings have resulted from unthinking good heartedness that prompted the letter without inducing a careful study of the one to whom it was given. Many letters of introduction are presented in person, but the more elegant way is to send them by messenger or post, accompanied by the card of the person conferring the introduction and your own with your address on it. A visit should be made within a week after the arrival of the letter by the person receiving it if the acquaintance is desired. —Philadelphia Times, 1893

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A Little on Correspondence Etiquette

A 19th century lap desk, hidden inside what looks like a book of Shakespeare’s works. It opens to stow one’s stationary, pens, ink, etc… – Don’t underscore! “Underscoring is often carried to an absurd excess, especially by very young ladies, who italicize every other word and thus rob their emphasis of all real significance. No word should be underscored unless its importance is very great.”

The Closing of a Letter

Letters of a formal character should be closed with some formal expression, as "Your obedient servant." "Yours truly," "Yours very truly," and "Yours respectfully," are reserved for business letters. "Cordially yours," "Faithfully yours," "Affectionately yours," are familiar forms for use in friendly correspondence, but ingenious people will frame a now set of words for every occasion, fitting them, as Wilkins Micawber was wont to do, to the state of his mind or to the object of his letter.

Neatness

Great care should be taken to avoid blotting and blur. ring. It is neither a compliment to your correspondent nor to yourself to send a letter or note marred by splotches. and blurr of ink. It is also inexcusable to cross your lines, as if stingy of paper as well as indifferent to the eyes of the one to whom you write. The whole sheet may be filled, if desired, but criss-crossing must never be indulged.

Underscoring

Underscoring is often carried to an absurd excess, especially by very young ladies, who italicize every other word and thus rob their emphasis of all real significance. No word should be underscored unless its importance is very great. - From “Our Manners And Social Customs,” by Daphne Dale, 1891

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette Queries of 1883

 Of course you must use the “Esq.” when directing your envelope to your gentleman friend. Wish the friend “Happy New-Year,” and thank him, and when your friend asks you to take cream, say “Thanks.” It is better taste for one lady to introduce her gentleman caller to another lady, if there are but few in the room, than not to do so.

Answers to Correspondents 

F. G. M. — There are many gifts suitable for a lady to give a gentleman, such as a book rack, an embroidered fire screen, a rug made of a leopard’s skin, a silver paper knife, an engraving handsomely framed, a scarf pin, a pair of silk socks knitted by the donor, a new book, English crystal bottles for his dressing stand, a foot rest to contain slippers, which may be made of plush and mounted on ebonized wood, a plaque of porcelain to adorn his room, a pair of sleeve-buttons, a quaint thermometer, a stylographic pen, a pair of antlers to use as a hat rack, or a card case, note-books, stationery, etc…

AN IGNORANT GIRL — Of course you must use the “Esq.” when directing your envelope to your gentleman friend. Wish the friend “Happy New-Year,” and thank him, and when your friend asks you to take cream, say “Thanks.” It is better taste for one lady to introduce her gentleman caller to another lady, if there are but few in the room, than not to do so.

H. J. — If the lady of the house is not at home to introduce the young lady, the gentlemen must retire, leaving their cards.

LUCIE — You will find illustrations of braided basques in Bazar Nos. 40, 42, and 43, Vol. XV. Use small bullet-shaped crocheted buttons on a cloth jacket. Get lady’s cloth, and send for woolen plaid in dark Madras colors not in Scotch plaids. Dark green cloth, with felt hat to match, would suit you.

L. A. C. — Ficelle-colored, tan, or écru cloth or cashmere will make a handsome over-dress to use with your garnet velvet skirt; and there is now such a fancy for red and green together that you might have a green polonaise of cloth or of brocade of mixed red and green.

MABEL — We can not advise you or any one else how to dispose of any kind of articles.

ELEANOR R. — It is in very bad taste for a layman to assume clerical costume.

A SUBSCRIBER.— Consult a dealer about the publication of your card designs.

MRS. E. G. B. — We do not issue New Year’s invitations in New York. Ladies sometimes send their cards, but even that fashion is passing away.— Volume XVI, Number 2: Harper's Bazar, 1883

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia