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| In the book, Great Expectations, by Charles Dickens, the character Estella exclaims of Pip, "He calls the knaves, jacks, this boy!" That line highlighted a social class difference between the two. The "knave" was always the correct term for the face card in a card deck. The term, "jack" was considered a more “lower class” or even slightly disrespectful way to refer to the card. The “boy” was clearly using a lower-class manner of speech during the card game.– Public domain image of a 17th century Knave of Spades |
An Opinionated Column by “The Knave” on American Etiquette, from 1938
Social Usage American etiquette is not what it used to be. At least I hope not, after reading the chapter titled “Paying and Receiving Visits” in the anonymous work on social usage of the sixties on which I have commented in this Column from time to time. The most proper time to pay a morning visit in “the fashionable world,” we are informed, “is between 1 and 4 o'clock.” All I can say to this is that if I have to pay my morning visits between 1 and 4, you can count me out.
I have never lost any sleep yet over the question of making morning calls, and I don't intend to begin now. “If the person to whom the visit is intended is not at home,” our informant continues, “leave your card.” At this point I am assailed by a dark suspicion. The author is continually instructing people to leave cards here and there. Practically every occasion, it would seem, calls for card. I am forced to the conclusion that the man who wrote “American Etiquette” was in the calling card business himself or had a good friend who was.
If you want to know how to conduct yourself when you go calling at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, read on: “In paying visits of ceremony a gentleman should not leave his hat in the hall, but take it with him in the room; and, except under peculiar circumstances he should not remain more than a quarter of an hour or 20 minutes.” I should like to serve notice on any prospective 4 a.m. callers that all such visits are peculiar as far as I am concerned.
If you want to know how to conduct yourself when you go calling at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, read on: “In paying visits of ceremony a gentleman should not leave his hat in the hall, but take it with him in the room; and, except under peculiar circumstances he should not remain more than a quarter of an hour or 20 minutes.” I should like to serve notice on any prospective 4 a.m. callers that all such visits are peculiar as far as I am concerned.
As to the 20-minute time limit on 4 a.m. calls, there are in my opinion, circumstances under which the time limit should be extended. In the case of those early morning visitors who enter by way of a second story window the rules of etiquette should be amended to grant an additional 15 minutes or so, depending on how well the host’s valuables are concealed.
In the populace, it is not considered absolutely necessary to leave a card. But if you are a stickler for formality in such matters it is permissible for you to mail a card from the next town. In such cases it is considered good form to inscribe “P.D.Q.” on the card. As to frequency of visits, the author says only two visits a year are due persons with whom you are not very well acquainted. To this I might add that I have found that when people get better acquainted with me, they are generally satisfied with one visit a year or less. – By The Knave, in the Oakland Tribune, 1938
🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia
