“Duty Dancing” Dilemma

When the wife, hostess and dinner partner are three separate persons, it’s more complicated... sort of like choosing between three dentists. We’ll obviously have to rule out the hostess…

Q. At a large dinner party, who should the gentleman dance with first, second, third wife, hostess, dinner partner? - Mrs. L. G., Miami Beach, Fla.

A. Lucky the man whose wife is both dinner partner and hostess, for he doesn't have the problem of deciding which duty dance to dance first.

When the wife, hostess and dinner partner are three separate persons, it's more complicated... sort of like choosing between three dentists. We'll obviously have to rule out the hostess, since all the men in the room can't dance with her at once.

Presuming that the party you are talking about is a formal arrangement, then every wife would have a dinner partner to dance with her. Everybody could dance with their dinner partners. This circumvents the problem of men having to search out their wives. I assume that the room won't be full of touchy wives who feel neglected because they didn't get the first dance with their husbands. - By Maureen Eleva Reardon, 1974

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Gilded Age Dance Decrees

Any sound in the ballroom other than the music and hum of conversation will invariably be considered objectionable.

The Decree of Leaders

In the code of discipline of the American Society of Professors of Dancing there is a rule to this effect:

“Hand-clapping to time during square dances is positively prohibited in a select ballroom. The practice of encoring a number is a violation of etiquette, and interferes with the successful carrying out of the programme. Any sound in the ballroom other than the music and hum of conversation will invariably be considered objectionable.” The American Society of Professors of Dancing is the recognized standard of ballroom etiquette.– Hanford Journal, 1895

 

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia