Etiquette for Worship in Church

“If refined social manners are essential in the home, they are equally important in the house of God. So essential are they to a consecrated Christian life that Paul wrote a long epistle to his young lieutenant, Timothy, concerning them. In this letter, wherein are found the words of the text, the great apostle tells how bishops and their wives should act, and also how deacons and deacons’ wives.” – Photo source, Pinterest

BEHAVIOR DURING WORSHIP

Rev. Frank DeWitt Talmage Discourses Upon Manners

Rev. Frank DeWitt Talmage delivered a sermon yesterday upon “Church Manners,” taking his text from Timothy 3:15, “That thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God.” His discourse was a good-natured rebuke to the lack of decorum among worshipers and a plea for certain reasonable etiquette in the church. 

He said in part: “Are you a parent? Have you ever dressed up your little children and sent them forth alone to visit, when they were about ten or twelve years of age? Then you have known the anxieties of a mother or father as to their social behavior.

“Before they go, you say: ‘Now, son, be careful about your manners. When you enter Mrs. So and So’s home take off your hat and place it upon the hall rack. Be careful and don’t handle the vases in the parlor, and don't squirm on your chair. When you are at dinner, be sure and keep your hands off the table, and don't spill the food upon the table cloth, and don't ask for a second helping of anything, or talk with your mouth full. When Mrs. So and So passes you a plate. say “Thank you.” Remember, my boy, that your mother's home is to be judged by your table manners. 

“When that child leaves the house, your mind follows him and stays with him all day long. And oh, the pride that sweeps into the parental heart when, next day, you meet your friend, at whose home your little children dined, and she congratulates you in these words: ‘We had such a lovely children's party yesterday. And Mrs. So and So, I want to tell you how well your children behaved. Your boy was a perfect little gentleman, and your daughter a little lady.’ Ah, such congratulation as that is as a sweet savor to the maternal heart.

“If refined social manners are essential in the home, they are equally important in the house of God. So essential are they to a consecrated Christian life that Paul wrote a long epistle to his young lieutenant, Timothy, concerning them. In this letter, wherein are found the words of the text, the great apostle tells how bishops and their wives should act, and also how deacons and deacons’ wives.

“But today, instead of my showing how our ministers and church officers should behave in the house of God, I would preach a sermon on church manners directly to the pew. I would try to inculcate the reverential spirit with which our congregations should assemble for worship.

“I would try to teach this reverence, because more and more in this irreverent age there is a tendency to look upon church buildings as places fitted for secular enjoyments rather than as sanctuaries consecrated to the presence of Jesus Christ.

“The Lord loveth the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob. No man ought to place foot in God’s sanctuary unless he can do it with the solemn feeling of Habakkuk, who declared: ‘The Lord is in his holy temple. let all the earth keep silence before him.’” – Los Angeles Herald, 1905

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Behavior in Worship

If refined social manners are essential in the home, they are equally important in the house of God. 

Photo source, Pinterest 

Rev. Frank Dewitt Talmage Discourses Upon Manners

Rev. Frank DeWltt Talmage delivered a sermon yesterday upon “Church Manners,” taking his text from I Timothy 3:15, “That thou mayest know how thou oughtest to behave thyself in the house of God.” His discourse was a good-natured rebuke to the lack of decorum among worshipers and a plea for certain reasonable etiquette In the church. He said in part:

“Are you a parent? Have you ever dressed up your little children and sent them forth alone to visit, when they were about ten or twelve years of age? Then you have known the anxieties of a mother or father as to their social behavior.

“Before they go, you say: ‘Now, son, be careful about : your manners. When you enter Mrs. So and So’s home take off your hat and place it upon the hall rack. Be careful and don't handle the vases in the parlor, and don’t squirm on your chair. When you are at dinner, be sure and keep your hands off the table, and don’t spill the food upon the table cloth, and don’t ask for a second helping of anything, or talk with your. mouth full. When Mrs. So and So passes you a plate, say “Thank you.” Remember, my boy, that your mother's home is to be judged by your table manners.

“When that child leaves the house, your mind follows him and stays with him all day long. And oh, the pride that sweeps into the parental heart when, next day, you meet your friend, at whose home your little children dined, and she congratulates you in these words: ‘We had such a lovely children’s party yesterday. And Mrs. So and So, I want to tell you how well your children behaved. Your boy was a perfect little gentleman, and your daughter a little lady.’ Ah, such congratulation as that is as a sweet savor to the maternal heart.

“If refined social manners are essential in the home, they are equally important in the house of God. So essential are they to a consecrated Christian life that Paul wrote a long epistle to his young lieutenant, Timothy, concerning them. In this letter, wherein are found the words of the text, the great apostle tells how bishops and their wives should act, and also how deacons and deacons’ wives.

“But today, instead of my showing how our ministers and church officers should behave in the house of God, I would preach a sermon on church manners directly to the pew. I would try to inculcate the reverential spirit with which our congregations should assemble for worship.

“I would try to teach this reverence, because more and more in this irreverent age there is a tendency to look upon church buildings as places fitted for secular enjoyments, rather than as sanctuaries consecrated to the presence of Jesus Christ.

“The Lord loveth the gates of Zion more than all the dwellings of Jacob. No man ought to place foot in God's sanctuary unless he can do it with the solemn feeling of Habakkuk, who declared: ‘The Lord is in his holy temple, let all the earth keep silence before him.’”– Los Angeles Herald, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Victorian Era Church Etiquette

“When the minister is dull, and you cannot listen — this happens often enough to make a rule — study phrenology; examining the bumps of heads before you. An hour maybe passed thus politely and pleasantly...” – “Phrenology” enjoyed great mass appeal from the late 1700’s, the Victorian era and well into the 20th century. It has been wholly discredited by scientific research, however. Phrenology is the study of the conformation and bumps of the human skull, as indicative of mental faculties and traits of character, especially according to the hypotheses of 18th century German doctor, Franz Joseph Gall, and 19th-century adherents George Combe and Johann Kaspar Spurzheim

As to-morrow is Sunday, and many we know of are not quite as perfect in church etiquette as they might be, we give the following rules which should guide them in attending divine worship. We may remark first, that there is no etiquette for any place like the etiquette of common sense; it avails when the rules of the Chesterfields and the Hickmans often make one ridiculous. In entering church, then, with a lady, precede her when ascending and descending stairs, as also in seeking a seat. In one case it is especially polite; you act a sort of shield to her modesty, and then you save her the confusion of selecting a pew. 

It is proper, if you arc a believer, to kneel or stand at prayer, according to the custom of the church. To disregard these is vulgar — at least, it shows too much false pride, or too little reverence for the requirements of Christianity. Excessive whispering during service is decidedly vulgar. It is sometimes necessary to address an undertone remark to your companion or companions, but seldom. Listen to the service— especially the sermon. 

In this age of church opera, called music, you cannot help bearing that part of the ceremony. It would wake up a Van Winkle, but the sermon you may sleep over or disregard. It is wrong. Appear to hear, if you do not. A good way, is when the minister is dull, and you cannot listen — this happens often enough to make a rule — study phrenology; examining the bumps of heads before you. An hour maybe passed thus politely and pleasantly. 

If you chew tobacco, do not use it in church. It is annoying to those around you, and then the Sexton gives you jessie. 

Never leave church during service, unless it is absolutely necessary — as in sickness, a house on fire, or a professional call. It is vulgar to come late. Sometimes it is unavoidable; a person wishes to display it new dress, watch-chain, or perhaps a beau. It will occur sometimes that a poor goose wants to be driven from his seat — then it is proper enough also. These causes and the like excuse late coming, and the congregation endure them. Any other delay is unendurable. 

Dress as plainly as possible. We don't mean that a lady should appear in her morning wrapper, nor a gentleman in his shirt-sleeves. A nice medium is the thing in all matters—ladies should not be taken for milliners’ showcases. nor gentlemen for be-jewelled and neck-tied monkeys. A plebian goes to church to show fine clothes, an aristocrat to show respect to God. 

In entering and leaving the house, don't walk too slow like the shoddies, nor too fast like the bashfuls. In the one case, people ridicule yon for affectation; in the other, there is danger of knocking down the pews or of running over somebody, “Hasten slowly.” 

When you look around too much in church, people think you want to show your profits, or that you want to attract attention to your style, or that you want to marry, or that, like poor wheat, there is not enough weight about your head to keep it still. Don't look too pious In church, either— it is as suspicious as too much levity. Religious worship is neither a joke nor an emetic. 

If you feel extraordinarily devotional, begin to think about putting something into the treasury, and it willl shorten your face quickly, and spread over it the pleasant look of duty. – Lynchburg Virginia News, 1870

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Whisper Etiquette

Whispering in public meetings, changing seats, leaving before the service is ended, are violations of the science of etiquette. 

Whispering Etiquette

We copy the following sensible remarks from the Berlin Messenger: 

"Those young gentlemen in the habit of whispering in church or public meeting must quit it — it won't do. Ladies may be excusable, but gentlemen cannot. Whispering in public meetings, changing seats, leaving before the service is ended, are violations of the science of etiquette. There are no doubt some exceptions, but this is the general rule and should not be violated except in the case of necessity. So let's hear no more whispering in 'meetin'." — New York Times, 1853

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia