Etiquettical Introductions

 “One other question—does a man rise every time a woman enters and leaves a room?” “Theoretically yes, practically no. He would look like a Jack in the box if there is much moving about.” – Nancy Page

A “Second Debut” Article from 2019

Nancy Page has an “etiquettical” discussion regarding introductions.

Nancy found many old friends down in Florida. They were glad to see her and gave teas, receptions, bridge luncheons and affairs galore in her honor. At one sorority tea she noticed that one of the girls was watching her intently. Later she found the reason. It seems that the girls had been having an “etiquettical” discussion regarding introductions. They had been told to watch the guests at this particular tea. Later Nancy and the girls discussed the whole question. 

“Why did you remain seated when other folks were brought up to you and introduced, Mrs. Page?” “Because a woman never rises when being introduced unless the other person is elderly or very distinguished. Of course, if I were a young girl and were being introduced to—oh say, a person as old as I am—l would stand. That is youth's duty. But if I were a college girl being introduced to another, college girl X would not get up.” 

‘‘Would you rise if a man were brought up to be introduced?" “No indeed, unless he were most distinguished, say a Bishop, a President or a cabinet officer or foreign diplomat.” ‘‘Should the man rise if he is seated when a woman is brought up?” “Yes, surely. That motion of hospitality belongs unless he were aged.” 

“Should a man extend his hand in greeting to the woman?” “She should extend her hand first. Of course, if a man does reach out his hand she does not acknowledge it by extending her own, but the man made the error in putting his out first.” “One other question—does a man rise every time a woman enters and leaves a room?” “Theoretically yes, practically no. He would look like a Jack in the box if there is much moving about.” – “Nancy Page” by Florence La Ganke, 1929

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Introduction Etiquette: A Refresher

Speak names clearly. Drop a hint if you want people to talk.

 

A 2nd Debut Article from 2021

1. Always introduce a man to a woman. 

2. When introducing two men or two women, always introduce the younger to the older. 

3. Say “May I present?” Or “I should like you to know.” 

4. Always use proper titles such as Miss, Mr., Mrs., Captain, Doctor, Judge.

5. Shake hands like a man with a man. With a woman, only if she first offers her hand.

6. Always stand up to be introduced, or to make introductions.

7. Look squarely at the person you are meeting. Let your glance be firm but friendly.

8. Say “How do you do” after being introduced. Never say “Pleased to meetcha.”

9. Speak names clearly. Drop a hint if you want people to talk.

10. Catch the name if you can. Ask for it if you didn't. — From “Manners for Moderns”, 1938

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Collegiate Agony Aunt

At this instant an acquaintance of yours rushes up and begins to tell you her unbelievably low mark, which she just acquired in her examination, She talks volubly, and your friend fidgets from one foot to the other. 

Sally's Social Slants

The purpose of this column (every column has to have a purpose) is for the help of those who would really like to know a little bit more about etiquette. Of course this may be an old story to the disciples of Emily Post, but many a problem arises on the campus which leaves you at a loss.

For instance, you are standing on the lawn between classes, talking to a friend. At this instant an acquaintance of yours rushes up and begins to tell you her unbelievably low mark, which she just acquired in her examination, She talks volubly, and your friend fidgets from one foot to the other. Before you can introduce them (you surmise they have never met) your acquaintance turns her attention to “that screamingly funny thing she just heard in the Co-op.” Your friend, baffled by the names of “Bill,” “Jane” and “Mary,” whom he doesn't know, and who, from her description, sound rather flighty, mutters something to you about “a class” and hurries away.

What To Do?

You are left with the acquaintance who gabbles cheerily on, not realizing that you heard only half of what she was saying. What to do? Should you have broken into her conversation and introduced them, should you have said quietly “We are discussing the football game” thus winning her undying hatred, or should you have raised your voice and drowned her out, introduced them and then quickly sprinted away.

The thing to do! Let us rehearse the scene. You were talking to your friend, you saw your acquaintance coming (unless she sneaked up on you anyhow the result would be the same), with her approaching footsteps your face should leave that of your friend, and fold into a welcoming smile. Meet her rising tide of small talk with a quick “Well, hello (add her name to show you know it) oh, that's too bad about your low grade. Do you know my friend, Ben Gassing? Ben, this is Lotta Smalltalk.” 

Why Not Explain?

Now your duty is done, Let Lotta rave on, or Ben fidget. They know each other. But is your duty done? In a strictly etiquettal (is there euch a word) sense it is. But it seems rather unkind to listen to Lotta's chatter about Mary, Jane, or Bill, when Ben knows nothing about them. If Lotta insists on telling this screamingly funny incident (and why not?) you should say to Ben “Do you know Mary, Jane or Bill?” If he does, so much the better; if he doesn't, and the story involves more than just their names you should explain briefly as “Bill is a football player,” or “Mary runs the feature column.” This puts everyone at his ease, which is the basic purpose of etiquette after all. – From The Oak Leaf, 1940

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Introductions and Good Impressions

A woman never rises when a man is introduced unless he's much older, very distinguished, or presented by a much older woman.

Poor Mabel! So eager to make a good impression! Instead, her ignorance of the etiquette of introduction surprises this young man—to say the least! 

A woman never rises when a man is introduced unless he's much older, very distinguished, or presented by a much older woman. She always rises when introduced to a much older woman. If she’s hostess she rises for all introductions.

A man always rises unless at the theater or any place where rising would be awkward. The general rule for introductions is to present a man to a woman, the younger person to the older. — Santa Ana Journal, 1936

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

For Brits, “Roof is Introduction”

The fact that you and the other guests are under the same roof is introduction ... “Simplicity of both thought and action is the basis of good breeding. One must use her common sense as well as her kindliness of heart and take into consideration that pretension is always a mark of vulgarity.” 

Introductions manners always improve with the cultivation of the mind, and we can turn the rule around, for the acquirement of good manners can only be attained by education and observations, followed by habitual practice. It would be a good thing if we had another Addison or Steel to turn our attention to the manners of our time, as these distinguished writers did in the ‘Spectator.’ The great mistake that most people make is in acquiring too much manner. Simplicity of both thought and action is the basis of good breeding. One must use her common sense as well as her kindliness of heart, and take into consideration that pretension is always a mark of vulgarity. 

Introductions are made indiscriminately in America and there is much to be learned in almost any set about the proper way to present one person to another. In the first place, you should never introduce one person to another unless you know that it is agreeable to both of them. “But.” you exclaim, “perhaps they are both at my home for an evening party!” Then these ladies should know the English law that “roof is introduction,” and remember that a casual conversation does not hurt anyone, neither does it entail a further acquaintance which might be awkward. In making an introduction the gentleman is always presented to the lady. The younger woman to the older woman.

In her own house a hostess should always extend her hand to a person introduced to her. At a dinner party the hostess need only introduce the gentleman to the lady that he is to take in to dinner. Even after introduction a man must wait for the woman to bow first when next they meet. When introducing a man, always give him his title, even if you are his wife. Introductions on the street are not in good taste, as one should not stop long enough on a promenade to present one person to another. If you are with someone and a friend stops her on the street, it is good taste for you to walk on slowly. • • • • Memo: Strive to live up to your favorable introduction. — By Idah McGlone Gibson

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

An Etiquettical Talk on Introductions

 “One other question—does a man rise every time a woman enters and leaves a room?” “Theoretically yes, practically no. He would look like a Jack in the box if there is much moving about.” – Nancy Page

Nancy Page has an “etiquettical” discussion regarding introductions.

Nancy found many old friends down in Florida. They were glad to see her and gave teas, receptions, bridge luncheons and affairs galore in her honor. At one sorority tea she noticed that one of the girls was watching her intently. Later she found the reason. It seems that the girls had been having an “etiquettical” discussion regarding introductions. They had been told to watch the guests at this particular tea. Later Nancy and the girls discussed the whole question. 

“Why did you remain seated when other folks were brought up to you and introduced, Mrs. Page?” “Because a woman never rises when being introduced unless the other person is elderly or very distinguished. Of course, if I were a young girl and were being introduced to—oh say, a person as old as I am—l would stand. That is youth's duty. But if I were a college girl being introduced to another, college girl X would not get up.” 

‘‘Would you rise if a man were brought up to be introduced?" “No indeed, unless he were most distinguished, say a Bishop, a President or a cabinet officer or foreign diplomat.” ‘‘Should the man rise if he is seated when a woman is brought up?” “Yes, surely. That motion of hospitality belongs unless he were aged.” 

“Should a man extend his hand in greeting to the woman?” “She should extend her hand first. Of course, if a man does reach out his hand she does not acknowledge it by extending her own, but the man made the error in putting his out first.” “One other question—does a man rise every time a woman enters and leaves a room?” “Theoretically yes, practically no. He would look like a Jack in the box if there is much moving about.” – “Nancy Page” by Florence La Ganke, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia