Etiquette for Mumbai’s Mobile Phones

There’s almost never a moment when someone isn’t talking, texting, scrolling, or watching something on YouTube, Facebook, or WhatsApp. Mobile or cell phone manners in India are a complete reverse of what is acceptable in Western countries, and even most other Asian nations.

How India has cranked cell phone calls up to 11 and, very often, into a group activity

Restaurant Mobile Phone Manners

Have you checked us out on Instagram or Twitter yet? We’re @Etiquipedia

If you must have your mobile with you in a restaurant...

• Please keep it on silent mode.

• Please keep it off of the table — it’s not part of a place setting.

• Keep it in your handbag, briefcase or a pocket.

• If you must respond to someone, do it via text. 

• If you absolutely must take a call, excuse yourself from the table and go to the lobby or outside. 

• Take every caution to avoid “phubbing” others around you.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

"Phone Voice" Etiquette

Though the telephone has become an integral part of our daily lives, many people do not realize that voices are transmitted at a higher pitch over phone lines, than if one was speaking with someone face to face. Business professionals in particular, can benefit from speaking in a lower tone of voice than normal, when on business phone calls, in order for those on the other ends to hear them more clearly. 

Improve Your Phone Voice! 

Despite the fact that the telephone has become so commonplace as to be taken for granted in our daily living, many women have never learned to talk on the instrument. Technically adept at putting their calls through, and well versed in the rules of telephone etiquette, they still create an unfavorable impression upon their listeners because of their voices. Women who claim they don't like to talk on the telephone are usually admitting their discomfort. Their point that the facial expressions observed in personal chats add much to any conversation, is a valid one. Be that as it may, if they plan to use the telephone as a medium of communication, they should accept its limitations and set about correcting their own failings. 

One particularly unfortunate telephone voice is the meek, mild one that makes listeners yell, “What's that?” and “Louder, please.” No matter how competent a person you may really be, the person at the other end of the wire is likely to conclude that you are ineffectual and without self-confidence. This is a handicap in both business and social relationships. Equally unattractive is the telephone-shouter who attempts to convey her message by vocal power alone. Not only is such a voice unpleasant to the unfortunate ear at the other end of the line, but it also marks the shouter as being unsure both of herself and of the instrument. - San Bernardino Sun, 1950

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Mobile Etiquette and iGuilt

Mobile devices shouldn't be barriers between you and your child's, or grandchild's activities. Letting your child be a part of your phone's use , and avoidng any "phubbing" of a child (snubbng another's presence while on your mobile phone) helps reduce iGuilt.

iGuilt- Do you suffer from this dreaded affliction? 

They call it iGuilt. It's become an increasingly common sight at Saturday morning sport as parents tap away at their phones, missing little Jimmy's goal. Some parents don't even realise what they're doing while others readily admit they devote more attention to their iPhone than to their child. The modern world is filled with technological distractions, from smartphones to laptops to iPads, which are increasingly hard to switch off. 

Netsafe director and father of a 4 and 8-year-old, Martin Cocker admitted smartphones sometimes interfered with his parenting. His job means he needs to always be contactable by media and colleagues and so he always has his phone on and with him. "If I get messages, I check them and if my phone rings, I answer it because it might be work-related. But the bulk of the time, of course, it's not." 

Mr. Cocker said smartphone technologies were deliberately designed to keep people engaged. "It's designed to get you using it and to keep you using, making it harder to pull away." They do that because they don't make money in a traditional way. You don't pay to use a lot of the services that people are constantly using on their smartphones, but the more you use it the more the companies who own the apps can sell the advertising for," he said.       

Setting up a structure for tech use early in your children's lives helps keep tech tantrums and tech overuse to a minimum.

As well, new technologies have removed the ability to stop working when you leave the office, meaning work inevitably creeps into home life. Mother of two and iPhone user Rochelle Gribble admitted she's fallen victim to iGuilt after seeing the behaviour of 3-year-old Caitlin deteriorate when she devotes too much time to her iPhone. "I've become increasingly mindful that I need to not have my iPhone out when my kids are around," she said. "When my daughter wants my attention but I'm on my phone she does something which she knows is naughty and she's basically trying to get my attention. So it's at that moment when I know I need to put down my phone, put away the computer and engage with her." 

Mrs Gribble works from home and runs parenting advice website."One of the reason I work from home is so I can spend time with my kids and I want to enjoy their childhood and here I am checking my email at the park." She frequently sees parents getting distracted by their phones while pushing their children on the swings at the park. "There's lots of little fun distractions on the internet, like Facebook, and sometimes it's a heck of a lot more interesting than talking to your children, let's be honest. And it's also a lot less demanding." 

Professor Alan France, head of the Sociology department at the University of Auckland, said the positive impact of technology should be noted as well. Gadgets like PlayStation's Wii had the ability to draw families together to play games while children having increased access to mobile phones meant parents could worry less. "... mobiles have improved parents' connection to their children and I don't see that as a bad thing." Mr. Cocker suggested "technology-free weekends" to help improve family-time, or even just a technology-free day or afternoon. —Source New Zealand Herald News, 2012

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Definitive Selfie Etiquette Guide

The Approved Selfie... There is someone behind you. Is he aware he is in the photo? This is what is known to many, as a “Relfie”... a “Relationship-Selfie.”

Selfies can be fun to take and share, however, as with anything involving a camera or photos, etiquette needs to be followed. The etiquette guidelines below will help you stay well-mannered and safe...

Hey you! Yes, you in the back left side of the ride... You are at Disneyland! Remember? Pass the phone to the friend next to you if you need a photo of yourself, while on the ride. Don't forget to ask with the word "please" and to be extra polite, offer to then return the favor if the person wants a photo too!

The "Wait... What?" Selfie: Are you so busy taking selfies, that you even know what is actually going on around you? Are you still able to enjoy yourself? Or did you kill the moment trying to "save the moment" in a cell phone photo? Think about it for a minute. Allow yourself some time to enjoy what you are doing.

Get approval before posting selfies with babies, or others, to social media sites.

The Approved Selfie: Ask for permission before you post a selfie with someone else's baby, child, etc... They may not want the photograph online and it is their right to decline permission.   

Super famous, B, C or D-list celebrity, it doesn't matter. Always ask permission before you take that selfie. Tori Spelling kindly obliged our favorite “selfie” model, out in front of the Staples Center in Los Angeles.

The Celebrity Selfie: A celebrity in a recent interview mentioned that people do not politely approach her anymore. They just walk up with their cell phones in hand, stand close to her, and take a photo. Super famous or "D-list" celebrity, ask permission before you take that selfie. They may not want to be photographed and it is their right to decline.

“Selfie-Sticks” are great for group selfies, or “Groufies”

The Safe Selfie: Is that selfie worth endangering yourself for? Are you trying to get a selfie on top of a train perhaps? A moving train? Or is that "selfie-stick" not far enough back for you as you unwittingly creep closer to the edge of that cliff? Never put your life at risk for that “really cool” selfie. There have been numerous accounts online recently of people taking selfies in dangerous places that turned even more dangerous.
                    

"Technically Incorrect: The contestants are gathered in Miami for Miss Universe. Israel and Lebanon are still at war. This is not the time for modern diplomacy. Can a selfie cause an international incident? Yes, it can." CNET.com, Tech Culture

The Kind Selfie and The Controversial Selfie: Do not take photos with others conspicuously in the background, simply to poke fun at another person or shame them. I recall a young woman posting a photo on a group social media page she had taken with a man who was sound asleep with his mouth open on the subway. She posted a caption making fun of him snoring. I asked her why she thought it was funny to humiliate this man and to post a photo with her near him without his permission. She got defensive but took the photo down.  This also applies to photo bombing someone else's selfie. It is bad manners to photo bomb, unless you know the person very well, and know they wouldn't mind.

Sometime later, I witnessed teens using their cell phones to take selfies with others nearby and all the people had partially exposed rear ends. This was without their knowledge and the teens were immediately uploading them on line. It is one thing to post humorous photos of yourself, quite another to post them with someone else and without their consent.

The Miss Universe Controversy Groufie

Clearly, we've all learned many lessons from Miss Universe over the years. How to answer inane questions with short elegant words, for example.

However, this time Miss Israel's alleged photobombing of a selfie including Miss Lebanon – taken in Miami – has caused uproar.

As NBC News reports, media in Lebanon weren't happy with this image. The two countries are still at war. And this was, well, Miss Universe, an event that is the barometer for all things political.

For her part, Miss Lebanon – Saly Greige, who has a civil engineering degree – was forced to turn to Facebook to disavow the image.

She wrote: 'Since the first day of my arrival to participate to Miss Universe, I was very cautious to avoid being in any photo or communication with Miss Israel (that tried several times to have a photo with me) ... I was having a photo with Miss Japan, Miss Slovenia and myself; suddenly Miss Israel jumped in, took a selfie, and put it on her social media.' 

Miss Israel – Doron Matalon – countered by turning to Instagram. She wrote of Greige's reaction: 'It doesn't surprise me, but it still makes me sad. Too bad you cannot put the hostility out of the game, only for three weeks of an experience of a lifetime that we can meet girls from around the world and also from the neighboring country."' from CNET.com                                              

The sweet selfie. No one is offended and your etiquette is just fine.

The Respectful Selfie: If you witness an accident, unless you are taking photos for evidence sake, do not take selfies in the name of seeing something fascinating to post later. The same goes for funerals, in hospitals and any other sensitive environment. Unless it serves a specific purpose that is helpful, refrain from taking selfies.

The Risqué Selfie: I have seen more than my share of people posting inappropriate selfies. As an individual, you are free to do certain things, but once you post it on the internet, it will remain there forever because people will copy, save, repost, create meme’s, etc... 

The riot... I was there drinking beer, bro!

The Self Destructive Selfie: Keep in mind that employers routinely look into people’s social media activity prior to hiring and are terminating employees for things they post that they feel may cast a negative light on the company. A flight attendant was fired a few years ago for taking selfies on an empty plane.
                                            

Kim Kardashian is Selfie-Obsessed: Are you selfie-obsessed? According to psychiatrist Dr David Veal: “Two out of three of all the patients who come to see me with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since the rise of camera phones have a compulsion to repeatedly take and post selfies on social media sites. Cognitive behavioural therapy is used to help a patient to recognise the reasons for his or her compulsive behaviour and then to learn how to moderate it,” he told the Sunday Mirror.

The Over-Saturation Selfie: There is the saying “a little goes a long way” and it definitely applies to Kim Kardashian. While you are free to document every aspect of your life, do not think people are waiting by their computers for every update. If you like to share, pick a photo or two that tastefully summarizes the day, post them and move on.

Taking selfies can be a fun activity but let us use caution that taking selfies does not cause us to act selfish.

Compiled  by the late-Demita Usher, Contributor to Etiquipedia

📱Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mobile Manners Issued for No. Koreans

North Korea is now stressing etiquette in use of mobile phones. "Korean citizens are generally kind and accepting of tourists, but in a culture that is far more conservative than America's, following etiquette is crucial. Respect is paramount, and Koreans may take offense at behavior that you wouldn't blink twice at witnessing at home. Tourists generally visit only South Korea; private American citizens aren't allowed into North Korea on their own. In any case, the same basic manners apply in either place." USA Today 
Photo from http://americaninnorthkorea.com/

North Korea keeps tight controls on the flow of information within, and even across, its borders. Even so, approximately 2.5 million people are estimated to be subscribed to the country's mobile operator Koryolink, a joint venture with Egypt's Orascom Telecom. With this increasingly growing mobile phone use in North Korea, the strict communist country has published a set of etiquette guidelines on how to treat others with respect through the new medium.

A quarterly North Korean magazine on culture has been obtained by the Yonhap News Agency, and it includes an article entitled “Language etiquette in phone conversations.” The article stresses the importance of proper manners in one's mobile phone usage.

“As mobile phones are being used increasingly in today's society, there has been a tendency among some people to neglect proper phone etiquette,” reads the article in the August 2014 issue of the magazine.

In an apparent reference to the fact that the caller's number appears on mobile phones, the article states that, “On mobile phones, unlike on land lines, conversations usually take place with knowledge of the other person. However, even in such cases, one must not neglect to introduce oneself or offer greetings.” 

In one such example, the magazine states that if the recipient does not introduce himself or herself upon answering a call, the caller must go through the time-consuming process of enquiring, “Hello? Is it you, comrade Yeong-cheol?”

It stresses too, that it is more polite for the recipient of the call, to not only introduce himself but to also acknowledge that he is aware of who the caller is, as well. If not, the caller must go through the aforementioned, time-consuming inconvenience of identifying himself, according to the magazine article.

In an attempt to nip in the bud the irritating phenomena known as “cell yell” and “TMI,” the article also offers the etiquette tip that, “Speaking loudly or arguing over the phone in public places where many people are gathered is thoughtless and impolite behavior.”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Cellfishness Eradication

Eliminate cellfishness with these tips below. Why? More and more workplace and school cell phone bans are being instituted with over a third of companies contacted saying they've already put in place policies to address the issue. The biggest reason for the limits include the noise and distraction, along with a loss in productivity. Many companies are complaining that some people seem to require surgical removal of cell phones in order to put them down. 

Like it or not, the world is not your personal phone booth. No one wants to hear about your colonoscopy. We don't care about how much you hate your job. And we certainly don't want to hear you dish out every last detail of your sex life or lack thereof. According to one survey, more than half of employees said they get impatient or angry when a coworker stops a conversation because of an incoming wireless call. 

You can't walk down the hallway in some offices, without hearing things you don't want to be hearing.  People are fed up with the constant interruptions of cell phone calls throughout the day, that have nothing to do with them.  It's pretty appalling, the subjects of conversations that people, especially teens and millennials, are having on the cell phones in public. When they get on the phone, it's apparent they think the rest of the world becomes invisible. Or maybe, it actually does for them.  But it is time for a reality check.  Talking about whatever you feel like over your phone in public, is an invasion of everyone's space and it's also a form of air pollution. It is ear pollution.

More than half of employees surveyed said they get impatient or angry when a coworker stops a conversation because of an incoming wireless call. Stop the ear pollution!

Are you being 'cellfish' with your cell or mobile phone? You can stop being cellfish by using these 12 tips:

1. Wait until lunch or a break to have personal conversations on your cell or mobile at work. 
2. Don't talk on the cell or mobile when others are trapped into hearing your conversation, such as in lines or elevators. 
3. Take calls from those who might have unpleasant or upsetting news in a place where you'll have privacy. We all have that one person that baits us into arguments. Save your calls with that person, for when you are away from others.
4. Don't give out personal information such as credit card numbers when others can hear. This can cause undo paranoia and suspicion in you, when it is your own fault. 
5. Use the phone for essential purposes when in public, but be brief and to the point. 
6. Lower your voice. No cell yell in the supermarket. 
7. Use your phone discreetly. It is not supposed to be an extra appendage.
8. Don't take, or worse yet make, a personal call during a business meeting. 
9. Maintain a 10-foot zone of body space, from anyone who has to listen in, while you're chatting. 
10. When you're in earshot of others, keep it short. 
11. Treat people in the same manner you would want to be treated. It's called the "Golden Rule" for a reason.
12. Let those around you know if you have to make a call, then excuse yourself to a more private area. 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

In Quest of Telephone Manners for the Modern Age

The telephone is a nuisance and no one denies it, but it is a necessity also and no one denies that, either, and one of the greatest conveniences in an age of great conveniences. Some of the disagreeable features connected with it cannot be done away with but must be accepted with as much tranquility as we can master, like the terrific noise which an aëroplane makes or the trail of smoke and cinders which a railway train leaves behind. The one who is calling, for instance, cannot know that he is the tenth or eleventh person who has called the man at the other end of the wire in rapid succession, that his desk is piled high with correspondence which must be looked over, signed, and sent out before noon, that the advertising department is waiting for him to O. K. their plans for a campaign which should have been launched the week before, that an important visitor is sitting in the library growing more impatient every minute, and that his temper has been filed down to the quick by an assortment of petty worries. (Of course, no office should be run like this, but it sometimes happens in the best of them.)

Some one has said that we are all like islands shouting at each other across a sea of misunderstanding, and this was long before telephones were thought of. It is hard enough to make other people understand what we mean, even with the help of facial expression and gestures, and over the wire the difficulty is increased a hundred fold. For telephoning rests upon a delicate adjustment between human beings by means of a mechanical apparatus, and it takes clear thinking, patience, and courtesy to bring it about.– “The Book of Business Etiquette,” by Nella Henney, 1922

“There are two things that are as important to me as the bed in the bedrooms that I furnish, and they are the little tables at the head of the bed, and the lounging chairs. The little table must hold a good reading light, well shaded, for who doesn't like to read in bed? There must also be a clock, and there really should be a telephone. And the chaise-longue, or couch, as the case may be, should be both comfortable and beautiful.”

From 1913's “The House in Good Taste” by Elsie de Wolfe

"Cell phone etiquette rules are still in their infancy, or possibly 'toddler years,' even though cell phones have now been with us for three decades. It has only been in the last dozen years or so that their use has been so ubiquitous among old and young alike. One can still go by the telephone etiquette rules, camera etiquette rules, and even videotaping etiquette rules of yesteryear, as a basic guide. At the heart of those etiquette guidelines, one can see that they are still applicable in present day situations." Maura Graber, The RSVP Institute of Etiquette

Emerging Talk-Rules: The Mobile Phone

Bringing one's phone along to a party wasn't always as simple as it is today. Suddenly, almost everyone in England has a mobile phone, but because this is new, unfamiliar technology, there are no set rules of etiquette governing when, how and in what manner these phones should be used. We are having to ‘make up’ and negotiate these rules as we go along – a fascinating process to watch and, for a social scientist, very exciting, as one does not often get the opportunity to study the formation of a new set of unwritten social rules...

For example: I have found that most English people, if asked, agree that talking loudly about banal business or domestic matters on one’s mobile while on a train is rude and inconsiderate. Yet a significant minority of people still do this, and while their fellow passengers may sigh and roll their eyes, they very rarely challenge the offenders directly – as this would involve breaking other, well-established English rules and inhibitions about talking to strangers, making a scene or drawing attention to oneself. The offenders, despite much public discussion of this problem, seem oblivious to the effects of their behaviour, in the same way that people tend to pick their noses and scratch their armpits in their cars, apparently forgetting that they are not invisible.

"I have also noticed that many women now use their mobiles as ‘barrier signals’ when on their own in coffee bars and other public places, as an alternative to the traditional use of a newspaper or magazine to signal unavailability and mark personal ‘territory’." Kate Fox 

How will this apparent impasse be resolved? There are some early signs of emerging rules regarding mobile- phone use in public places, and it looks as though loud ‘I’m on a train’ conversations – or mobiles ringing in cinemas and theatres – may eventually become as unacceptable as queue jumping, but we cannot yet be certain, particularly given English inhibitions about confronting offenders. Inappropriate mobile-phone use on trains and in other public places is at least a social issue of which everyone is now aware. But there are other aspects of ‘emerging’ mobile-phone etiquette that are even more blurred and controversial.

There are, for example, as yet no agreed rules of etiquette on the use of mobile phones during business meetings. Do you switch your phone off, discreetly, before entering the meeting? Or do you take your phone out and make a big ostentatious show of switching it off, as a flattering gesture conveying the message ‘See how important you are: I am switching off my phone for you’? Then do you place your switched-off phone on the table as a reminder of your courtesy and your client’s or colleague’s status? If you keep it switched on, do you do so overtly or leave it in your briefcase? Do you take calls during the meeting? My preliminary observations indicate that lower-ranking English executives tend to be less courteous, attempting to trumpet their own importance by keeping phones on and taking calls during meetings, while high-ranking people with nothing to prove tend to be more considerate.

Then what about lunch? Is it acceptable to switch your phone back on during the business lunch? Do you need to give a reason? Apologize? Again, my initial observations and interviews suggest a similar pattern. Low- status, insecure people tend to take and even sometimes make calls during a business lunch – often apologizing and giving reasons, but in such a self-important ‘I’m so busy and indispensable’ manner that their ‘apology’ is really a disguised boast. Their higher-ranking, more secure colleagues either leave their phones switched off or, if they absolutely must keep them on for some reason, apologize in a genuine and often embarrassed, self- deprecating manner.

There are many other, much more subtle social uses of mobile phones, some of which do not even involve talking on the phone at all – such as the competitive use of the mobile phone itself as a status-signal, particularly among teenagers, but also in some cases replacing the car as a medium for macho ‘mine’s better than yours’ displays among older males, with discussions of the relative merits of different brands, networks and features taking the place of more traditional conversations about alloy wheels, nought-to-sixty, BHP, etc.

I have also noticed that many women now use their mobiles as ‘barrier signals’ when on their own in coffee bars and other public places, as an alternative to the traditional use of a newspaper or magazine to signal unavailability and mark personal ‘territory’. Even when not in use, the mobile placed on the table acts as an effective symbolic bodyguard, a protector against unwanted social contact: women will touch the phone or pick it up when a potential ‘intruder’ approaches. One woman explained: ‘You just feel safer if it’s there – just on the table, next to your hand . . . Actually it’s better than a newspaper because it’s real people – I mean, there are real people in there you could call or text if you wanted, you know? It’s sort of reassuring.’ The idea of one’s social support network of friends and family being somehow ‘inside’ the mobile phone means that even just touching or holding the phone gives a sense of being protected – and sends a signal to others that one is not alone and vulnerable.

"Most of us no longer enjoy the cosiness of a gossip over the garden fence." Kate Fox

This example provides an indication of the more important social functions of the mobile phone. I’ve written about this issue at great length elsewhere, but it is worth explaining briefly here. The mobile phone has, I believe, become the modern equivalent of the garden fence or village green. The space-age technology of mobile phones has allowed us to return to the more natural and humane communication patterns of preindustrial society, when we lived in small, stable communities, and enjoyed frequent ‘grooming talk’ with a tightly integrated social network of family and friends. 

In the fast-paced modern world, we had become severely restricted in both the quantity and quality of communication with our social network. Most of us no longer enjoy the cosiness of a gossip over the garden fence. We may not even know our neighbours’ names, and communication is often limited to a brief, slightly embarrassed nod, if that. Families and friends are scattered, and even if our relatives or friends live nearby, we are often too busy or too tired to visit. We are constantly on the move, spending much of our time commuting to and from work either among strangers on trains and buses, or alone and isolated in our cars. These factors are particularly problematic for the English, as we tend to be more reserved and socially inhibited than other cultures; we do not talk to strangers, or make friends quickly and easily.

Landline telephones allowed us to communicate, but not in the sort of frequent, easy, spontaneous, casual style that would have characterised the small communities for which we are adapted by evolution, and in which most of us lived in pre-industrial times. Mobile phones – particularly the ability to send short, frequent, cheap text messages – restore our sense of connection and community, and provide an antidote to the pressures and alienation of modern urban life. They are a kind of ‘social lifeline’ in a fragmented and isolating world.

Think about a typical, brief ‘village-green’ conversation: ‘Hi, how’re you doing?’ ‘Fine, just off to the shops – oh, how’s your Mum?’ ‘Much better, thanks’ ‘Oh, good, give her my love – see you later’. If you take most of the vowels out of the village-green conversation, and scramble the rest of the letters into ‘text-message dialect’ (HOW R U? C U L8ER), to me it sounds uncannily like a typical SMS or text exchange: not much is said – a friendly greeting, maybe a scrap of news – but a personal connection is made, people are reminded that they are not alone. Until the advent of mobile text messaging, many of us were having to live without this kind of small but psychologically and socially very important form of communication.

But this new form of communication requires a new set of unspoken rules, and the negotiations over the formation of these rules are currently causing a certain amount of tension and conflict – particularly the issue of whether mobile text is an appropriate medium for certain types of conversation. Chatting someone up, flirting by text is accepted, even encouraged, but some women complain that men use texting as a way of avoiding talking. ‘Dumping’ someone by text-message is widely regarded as cowardly and absolutely unacceptable, but this rule has not yet become firmly established enough to prevent some people from ending relationships in this manner."

From the book "Watching the English: The Hidden Rules of English Behaviour" 2004, by Kate Fox. A social anthropologist and co-director of the Social Issues Research Centre 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia