Most Etiquette is Common Sense

In ordinary social life, matters of precedence have been reduced to a few sane and very sensible rules—the first of which is “Ladies first!” There are only a few exceptions to this rule. When ascending or descending stairs the woman goes first, unless there is danger of tripping or falling, or if there are several heavy doors to be opened, such as in going from one car of a train to another. 

MANNERS, or etiquette, or whatever name you wish to call our general behavior, has changed a great deal since the days of our grandparents. I am very glad, for I never could remember all the silly little formalities that the young bride was supposed to have learned by the time she left the church door. In court life, or in our own army and navy life there are certain rules of precedence that must be observed. Why one should call first on the C.O.’s wife is more than I can tell, but it must be done. However, in ordinary social life, matters of precedence have been reduced to a few sane and very sensible rules—the first of which is “Ladies first!” There are only a few exceptions to this rule. When ascending or descending stairs the woman goes first, unless there is danger of tripping or falling, or if there are several heavy doors to be opened, such as in going from one car of a train to another. 

In going in and out of a restaurant the woman always precedes, but in getting out of a car, the man alights first and offers his hand to the woman to assist her. At the theater we find one of the exceptions to the rule. When there are tickets of admission, the person with the tickets always goes first. If it is a man, he goes down the aisle first, then stands aside and the woman enters first—by the way, the woman never takes the aisle seat when she is with a man. This is a carry-over from the old days when rowdies often made sitting on the aisle a precarious thing to do. In leaving, the woman precedes the man up the aisle. When two couples enter the theater together, the woman who is to have the farthest seat goes first, then the man who is to sit beside her. In boxes at the theater or football game the hostess takes the least desirable seat, giving the best view to the oldest guest, or to the guest of honor. 

Of course, at a circus, or a children’s performance, the children take the front seats. The bride issues at home cards and does not call until others have called upon her. A newcomer waits for her neighbors to call on her. If you glance over these rules, you’ll see that most of them are just common sense. If you just remember that it’s “Ladies first,” unless there is some reason, such as high-ranking title, or dangerous stairs or heavy doors, you shouldn’t encounter any difficulties. I wish that if you get stuck with any small problems, you’d write me. Maybe I can help straighten them out. – Deborah Ames, 1936

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Exiting Vehicles

A test of whether she was born “in the purple...” In other words, a test to see whether she was born to the aristocracy or royalty, and used to riding in a carriage.

The Graceful Way for Women to Exit a Vehicle

The manner in which a woman leaves and enters her vehicle is advanced by some writer as a test of whether she was born “in the purple,” or at least accustomed to carriage life. 

Like tech etiquette today, automobile etiquette slowly evolved as more people could afford cars.

This authority says: “She should have one foot out and firmly set upon the carriage step before she relinquishes the sitting posture; then the body should follow easily and naturally. Nothing is more awkward than to see a woman thrust her head forth first, and then find herself forced to double herself up to accomplish the rest of the exit.

Watch one who knows how to gracefully sink her weight from one foot to the other almost without losing a perfectly perpendicular position, securing instantly a walking poise as she touches the ground, and the difference of her method and that of another who lands very nearly in a tumble on the sidewalk will be discernible.” –Los Angeles Herald, 1891

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor tor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia