The Chinese Man’s Coffin

“The rules around death are very important to all members of Chinese society. Special attention is paid to the care of the dead and very specific rules are followed. It is widely believed that bad luck will come to the family that does not honor the rules. In Chinese culture, traditions can vary depending on the deceased’s role in the family, their age, the manner of death, and their position in society. Care for one’s parents is complete and without question, so when a parent or elder dies, funeral planning falls to the eldest son and his children. A parent may not perform funeral planning for their child, so an unmarried person is taken to a funeral home upon death. Chinese rules also say that an older person must not show formal respect to a younger person. A child is therefore buried in silence and no funeral ceremonies are performed.Funeral traditions differ throughout China. Some Chinese people follow Christian beliefs and burial traditions. In Mainland China, there is land available for cemeteries, so Christian burials take place. Some Chinese people believe in the teachings of Buddha. In Hong Kong, the Buddhist practice of cremation is encouraged because the land there is needed for farming.” —Royal Palm Memorial 

The idea of the Chinese man is that when he dies he ought to be buried in the trunk of a tree, and so it comes about that all coffins are designed with a view to keep up the illusion. They consist of four outside tree boards, and are so fashioned together as to look very much like a tree at a little distance. They are, of cource, tremendously heavy; but then that is considered an excellent fault. If a son wishes to be very polite to his father, or one friend desires to obtain the good will of another, he makes him a present of a good, solid, heavy coffin. 

The gift is put in an honored place in the house, ready for use, and is shown for the admiration of any friends who may call. The owner would rather go into his coffin than part with it, and generally speaking, though a Chinaman may get into debt and be very harshly treated by his creditors, they will leave him his coffin, not wishing to prejudice his entry into the next world, which, according to the Celestials, depends very much upon the way in which a man is buried. I was told that half the Chinese living in Hong Kong were already in happy possession of their coffins, and ready to enter them when wanted.— The London Telegraph, 1884

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Chinese Dining and Table Etiquette

“In sitting at a Chinese table, neither one’s body, nor his dress, must touch the table, and great strictness in regard to one’s position is enforced. It is not according to Chinese etiquette to look around when one is eating, nor to stare at one another.” — Depiction of 19th C. Chinese Scholars 

Ting Lang Ho, an educated Chinese man, writes as follows: “According to the teaching of Confucius, no conversation must be carried on at the table. This precept of Confucius, disagreeable though it may seem to many, prevents many embarrassments at table, namely, one’s being interrupted when he tries to speak at table. Chinese etiquette requires all to begin to eat at the same time, but each one before be begins to eat generally says, “Let us begin,” which is accompanied by a gesture of the chopsticks. In finishing one’s meal, the same gesture is used, but not the same words. He says to those who are still eating, “Do not be in haste.”

It is customary for the elders to help the younger to those dishes which he cannot reach, but in receiving, etiquette requires him or her to rise. In sitting at a Chinese table, neither one’s body, nor his dress, must touch the table, and great strictness in regard to one’s position is enforced. It is not according to Chinese etiquette to look around when one is eating, nor to stare at one another. Remarks made on the food and the smacking of one’s lips are (I’m sorry to say) allowable in Chinese etiquette.

The chopsticks, when one is not using them, must be placed on the table close together, sitting perpendicular to the spoon. According to Chinese etiquette, it is rude for one to finish too soon; one must try to keep together with the rest, though it is becoming for inferiors to finish a little before their superiors, but not a little too late. Reading of periodicals is strictly forbidden, but letters are allowed if they are very important. One very seldom asks for an excuse from table in China, but every one goes at the same time. — Jennie June, 1881

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Century of Chinese Etiquette

Mrs. Bishop “found the people a quiet, law-abiding peasantry, only anxious to reap the fruits of their labor in peace. A more thrifty, sober und industrious population could not be found.” – The article below from 1900, on “Chinese Characteristics,” showed that even the humblest of Chinese were well versed in their country’s manners and customs at the dawn of the 20th century. In 105 years’ time, the Chinese public was studying Western-etiquette in preparation for the Beijing Olympics. For more on the early 21st C. push by the Chinese to learn Western manners and etiquette, read the Etiquipedia post here 

Mrs. J. F. Bishop, F.R.G.S., the author of several works on the Far East, lectured at Exeter Hall, Strand, on “China and the Chinese.” Mrs. Bishop has traveled for two years, generally alone, through the most remote regions of the Celestial empire, without being molested. She found the people a quiet, law-abiding peasantry, only anxious to reap the fruits of their labor in peace. A more thrifty, sober und industrious population could not be found. In China, contracts with foreigners are always kept; Mrs. Bishop’s coolies and boatmen, although haggling much before making a bargain, never once failed to carry it out. This was largely due to the influence of the great guilds in which all sections of the people united, and which were admirably managed. 

These guilds were most powerful in protecting their members, and even the throne would hesitate to provoke their opposition. The country was the most democratic in the world, learning being the one avenue to promotion. Chinese charities were remarkable. The educational charities, burial and clothing societies, winter soup kitchens, and the lifeboat service in the rapid rivers were most admirable. The Chinese were horrified at the want of reverence and politeness of foreigners, and at the familiarity of children to their parents. When they asked a foreigner, “What do you allow your parents?” and the reply was, “Nothing,” they looked on him almost as a reptile. Chinese etiquette was complex, and was a part of their religion, but it was right in the main, and they were alienated by what they thought the rudeness of the foreigner. 

Some missionaries studied and carried out the native etiquette, but others, especially Americans, ignored it, and greatly shocked the people. Some American lady missionaries, by wearing birds or reptiles in their hats, and close-fitting dresses, which the Chinese regarded as contrary to propriety, caused the greatest offense. So complex was the etiquette of the Chinese that there were five rules to be observed in getting into a sedan chair, and once, when Mrs. Bishop forgot one of these, her bearers went and made sacrifices on her behalf at their own expense! —London News, 1900

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia