Wedding Fancies of 1893

The favorite hour for weddings is at noon and the chosen place church, the reception at the home of the bride immediately following the ceremony. This early hour necessitates a wedding breakfast, of which the guests partake seated at large or small tables, or with less formality and expense it may be served from a buffet.

With the Present Matrimonial Season have Come Some Changed Customs

This world is a world of change, and each season brings its variation of manners and customs. Wedding etiquette is undergoing some alterations, though in the main it remains unchanged, and some of these fancies are noted as follows by Harper’s Bazar: 

The preference in engagement rings still inclines toward the solitaire diamond, the purest stone, even though small, being in better taste than a more showy one, defective in color. The setting is narrow, showing as little gold as possible, and the gem is not too prominent. Though the solitaire ranks first, yet for the sake of novelty some young people select a diamond and emerald cluster or a ruby and diamond set obliquely, a fine ruby tripling in value a diamond of equal size. The wide and heavy wedding ring has been discarded in favor of a narrow oval band of gold, as pure as is feasible for long wear. The “square” ring is entirely out of vogue.  

The favorite hour for weddings is at noon and the chosen place church, the reception at the home of the bride immediately following the ceremony. This early hour necessitates a wedding breakfast, of which the guests partake seated at large or small tables, or with less formality and expense it may be served from a buffet. The wedding cake is provided in small, square boxes, tied with satin ribbon, a gold or silver monogram in one corner, the boxes arranged on a table near the door and handed out by a functionary to each departing guest.  

The floral decorations are to be more elaborate at the house than at the church. Any blossoms not shading on purple are appropriate for wedding decoration, but the long stemmed American Beauty roses will be much used, as they are very effective when massed together in jars or vases, with a background of maiden-hair fern and palms. Lilies of the valley and white orchids are the most choice flowers for the bridal bouquet, but the rose known as the “Bride,” though creamy rather than dead white, is used, it being much liked not only from the sentiment attached to it for its name’s sake, but because it has a firm stem and is easily carried. 

Gardenias are too stiff for the bouquet, but they are worn ns a boutonnières by the groom, best man and ushers. Ropes or garlands of flowers will form a pretty alternative for the satin ribbons dividing the family seats from the rest of the church, and the little maids attendant upon the bride may carry baskets of cut flown or loose nosegays, as taste or preference has decreed.– San Jose Herald, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Wedding Etiquette

The chief bridesmaid's duty is to take the bride's bouquet and gloves when the service begins... When a widow marries, the wedding differs on several points. There are neither bridesmaids nor favors, and the lady is debarred wearing white, a bridal veil or orange flowers ; indeed, she must wear a bonnet, according to English etiquette.

How to Be Married in Style

The old-time fancy for distributing wedding favors is again in vogue ; directly after the ceremony and while the newly-married pair, with the more immediate relatives, are signing the register, the bridesmaids dispense them. The gifts designed for the lady guests consist of small bows of white satin ribbon tying little sprays of jessamine ; those for the gentlemen are a spray of oak-leaves and acorns without ribbon, while the bridesmaids’ favors have some distinctive mark, such as a spray of forget-me-not. Their bouquets are the gift of the bridegroom and are sent before the ceremony with the locket or other souvenir which he presents them. He also furnishes the bride with her flowers for the occasion. 

When the service takes place in church; the ceremony is generally performed entirely at the communion rails ; but in High Churches, the actual ceremony, in England particularly, takes place in the body of the church, and the bridal party, preceded by officiating clergy, moves on into the chancel for the subsequent portion of the service. All arrangement as to fees, etc., are confided to the best man ; while the chief bridesmaid’s duty is to take the bride’s bouquet and gloves when the service begins. The interval between the arrival of the guests at the house and the breakfast is generally employed in an inspection of the wedding presents, which are spread out for examination on a variety of tables – one for plate, another for jewelry, one for china, one for glass ornaments, etc., each gift being accompanied by a slip of paper, bearing the name of the donor. 

Wedding breakfasts are now often arranged on the plan of a ball supper, with several round tables and a long buffet, where the majority of the company take their lunch standing, the tables being appropriated to the relatives of the bridegroom and the principal guests. Frequently, however, the old custom of a sitting-down breakfast is adhered to, and if it is, the wedding-cake is placed in the centre of the table, and the bride and bridegroom take their places opposite to it. In the former plan, the cake is placed in the centre of the buffet. When breakfast is announced, the bride and bridegroom lead the way to the dining-room ; the bride’s father follows with the bridegroom’s mother, and seats himself next to his daughter; the bridegroom’s father comes in next with the bride’s mother, and place her beside the bridegroom. Very frequently the bridesmaids all sit opposite to the bride, accompanied by the gentlemen who have been desired by the hostess to take them down ; the best man invariably taking the chief bridesmaid. 

Speeches are now confined, when there are any at all, to the health of the bride and bridegroom, proposed in a few words, the fewer the better, by the gentleman of the highest rank present. The bridegroom, in returning thanks, sometimes proposes the health of the bridesmaids, for whom the best man briefly responds. There should be no other toasts, and even these may be well dispensed with. The bride puts the knife into the cake, which has been cut before the drinking of the healths, and it is expected that every one will eat a small piece for good luck. When the bride comes into the drawing-room in her travelling-dress to say good-bye, white satin slippers and rice are thrown, the best man and  bridesmaids dispensing the former, while the latter is showered upon the departing pair exclusively by matrons. The fashion of sending cards and cake has gone entirely out of style. 

When a widow marries, the wedding differs on several points. There are neither bridesmaids nor favors, and the lady is debarred wearing white, a bridal veil or orange flowers ; indeed, she must wear a bonnet, according to English etiquette. If a young lady, however, marries a widower, there is no difference made between the arrangements for her wedding and those described.– Daly Alta, 1877

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia