Toasting Etiquette and History

In Shakespeare’s time, a piece of toasted bread was put in the tankard before ale or wine was poured in, to improve the taste and to collect sediment and impurities at the bottom of the vessel. Thus, the drink became known as “a toast.” By the Edwardian era, there were a number of little details of table etiquette which were observed, the most noticeable of which was that finger glasses (or finger bowls) were never placed upon the table if a member of the royal family was present. The reason for this goes back to the Jacobite days, when the toast of the King was converted into treason by the passing of the glass “over the water.”

Drink a Toast

This civilized custom of “drinking a toast” to the good health of a friend began in ancient times, but the terminology came later. In Shakespeare’s time, a piece of toasted bread was put in the tankard before ale or wine was poured in, to improve the taste and to collect sediment and impurities at the bottom of the vessel. Thus, the drink became known as “a toast.”

Toast of the Town

The “toast of the town” is someone whose great popularity causes many to “drink his health.” The usual custom in olden days, was to pour a little of the wine into the host’s glass and some into the guest’s, before either drank. Few trusted anyone outside the family circle and this was the only way to be sure the no one had poisoned the drink. Later, the ceremonial clinking of glasses was accompanied with the spoken wish, ‘To your good health.’ — Sources: A variety of authors including Patricia Easterbrook Roberts and Judith Visser

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Medieval Dining and Social Class

Merriam-Webster defines the term “upper crust” as the highest social class or group, especially the highest circle of the upper class — Centuries after Europe’s medieval era’s end, a flaky, upper crust was still appreciated, regardless of whether one cared if he was considered part of the “upper crust” by others, or not.

             Many phrases which we use today have culinary connections, and the origins of some of them are offered below.

The Upper Crust

When discussing society, the expression “upper crust” comes from medieval times when the great crusted meat pies were served from the top of the Lord of the Manor’s dining table on down. Obviously, the gentry got first choice of the crisp, flaky crust, while those seated at the foot of the table were more apt to get the soggy, under crust.


Above the Salt

In the banqueting hall of the baronial castle, the nobility sat at the head of the great T-shape table with the “Lord and Master,” while the first cousins, second cousins, and so on, dwindled into the distance down the table. At the point of demarcation which set apart the landed gentry from the common serfs, was placed a “great standing salt,” or "ceremonial salt." It was passed from there, up the table; if you sat “below the salt,” you were not only “not worth your salt,” but you did not get any.


Humble Pie

In England, this “pie” was made from “umbles” — the heart, the liver, and the gizzard of a deer. When the huntsman brought back the kill, the Lord of the Manor and his guests feasted on venison. The huntsman and the servants, being of inferior rank, had of necessity, to be satisfied with “humble pie.” — Sources: A variety of authors including Patricia Easterbrook Roberts and Judith Visser

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette for Eating Oranges

Below – An individual silver, Gilded Age orange dish, with inside “spikes” which hold the halved orange in place for graceful dining. Paired with a “Salem witch” orange spoon, with a gilded bowl to protect the sterling silver from citric acid. Salem witch spoons, by Daniel Low, are deemed by many to be the original souvenir spoons.

Specially designed orange spoons and footed orange dishes, with spikes for holding orange halves, were seen on the finest dining tables. Only those who were well-versed in etiquette knew how to use them, and eat their oranges properly.

In ancient times, Alexander the Great named what we now call “oranges,” “Median Apples” and “Persian Apples.” Considered the fruit of emperors and kings, oranges and orange groves were considered one's paradise. France's Louis XIV had his own: “His orangerie at Versailles was built in the shape of a ‘C,’ 1200 feet around, and was the scene of garden parties and masked balls.” And oranges were believed to be the “ultimate preventive” to the threat of a plague, according to physicians of the Italian Renaissance. 

Above– The inside of a footed, tilted, Gilded Age orange dish. 

Oranges were still considered a delicacy throughout most of  the Victorian era. By the 20th century, after refrigerated railroad cars were invented, oranges reached the middle-class in the United States. In the early 1900’s, people in the United States used to consume more fresh oranges than all other fresh fruits combined, with their popularity soaring during the winter holidays.  Though no longer considered a delicacy, oranges continue to hold a special place in children's Christmas stockings.

It is not customary to serve fruit as a first course at dinner, though at a lunch it is quite proper.

First in expensive sterling, then in silverplate, special spoons for oranges became popular table accoutrements.  When oranges were no longer a delicacy, and grapefruits were grown to be more palatable, a serrated edge was added to orange spoons, creating “grapefruit spoons.”

Oranges are seldom served at dinner anymore unless they are specially prepared, that is, with the skin taken off, and the sections divided, in which case the fruit is eaten from a fork.

Grape-fruit must be served ice cold. It is served in two ways: either it is cut in halves, midway between the blossom and the stem end, the seeds removed, the pulp loosened with a sharp knife, but served in the natural skin, to be eaten with a spoon; or the pulp and seeds are entirely removed from the skin with a sharp knife, and the edible part only served in deep dessert plates. Pulverized sugar should accompany grape-fruit. - From *Practical Etiquette by N.C., 1899


*Author's note : “The author is under obligation to so many persons for suggestions and advice, as well as to many authors, that it does not seem best to give a list of the same, especially as such list could be only a partial one, for many of her friends would not desire mention of their names.”
N. C. Dec. 1, 1899

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

19th C. Swedish Christmas Customs

The Christmas table in the Bollnäs Cottage at Skansen, Stockholm – According to Wikipedia, Skansen is the first open-air museum and zoo in Sweden and is located on the island Djurgården in Stockholm, Sweden. It was opened on 11 October 1891 by Artur Hazelius to show the way of life in the different parts of Sweden before the industrial era. – photo source, “Christmas in Sweden 100 Years Ago”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

In the middle of the 19th century the Swedish Christmas still had the atmosphere of a gay carnival. In many quarters, it was one long round of festivities, with endless drinking, games and dancing. The many contemporary accounts of Christmas customs in the Nordic Museum and other records of Swedish folk life tell us that it really was like this. It was during the 1800s that people began to take an interest in writing down the traditions handed on by word of mouth in stories, legends and the like, and in describing older manners and customs. While our knowledge of the Swedish people's daily life before the 1800s is scanty and is derived from travel books, memoirs and descriptions of the countryside, there is a wealth of information about that past century and our own, and those to whom the greatest credit is due are not so much the scholars at the museums and archives, as the Swedish people themselves.


Festivals have, of course, a tendency to preserve features of older manners and customs, and many of what we now call Christmas traditions are the relics of a past century's discarded way of life. But such time-honored customs must nevertheless be practicable if they are to survive. Gone now is the big home slaughter of cows, calves, sheep and pigs. No longer does a housewife gather together workers for a several-day-long, wash, when scoops of lye water were poured over the white clothes throughout a whole night, and the next day everything had to be rinsed and beaten in an ice cold lake. Home distilled aquavit is prohibited, home-brewed beer is too much bother to make. No one has to set to work to bake great batches of bread and cakes to provide for the household over Christmas; many still do, but not to the extent that was once necessary. 


A thorough Christmas cleaning is still very much of a reality in many homes and as far as food and drink are concerned, the old idea persist that one should eat and drink more than at any other time of the year. Beer and aquavit, bread dipped in the broth from the boiled ham, ham, brawn, rice porridge, and even pig's head along as much to the Christmas table now as they did a few hundred years ago. Even the smell of Christmas is much the same. “In every nook and cranny there is the smell of Christmas, that is to say, cinnamon and saffron.” wrote Adolf Törneros, an Uppsala University lecturer, to a friend on 23rd December, 1824.


But the greatest changes in the Christmas celebrations are due to the fact that Christmas is now a family gathering, whereas it used to be more of a collective festival. It was most of the young people who wanted to spend Christmas away from home. School boys used to tramp through the towns and villages, singing Christmas carols and performing Christmas plays to earn a little money towards their next term's keep. There were pranks in connection with the Lucia celebrations in Western Sweden, when the young people disguised themselves and roamed the streets, larking and making a noise, all forms of begging to collect for a communal party: going 'round with the Christmas straw goat, the Staffan ride, the Star Boy plays. And throughout it all, the aquavit flowed in a fashion that we can only that we can scarcely imagine, for since those days there has been a change of attitude owing to the temperance and revivalist movements.— From the book, “Christmas in Sweden 100 Years Ago,” 1964

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Swedish Christmas Etiquette

Carl Viking’s illustration of a Christmas Table

The Christmas Table 

“I have drawn the Christmas table according to my grandmother's directions. The head of the family had the biggest share of bread, which was piled up at the extreme left of the table. On the top of the pile was a little bird made from wheat and flour, with a grain of corn in its beak. next to the father's pile of bread was the mothers, then the children's, and, last of all, the servants. 

The vessels on the table are:

1. a pewter tankard 
2. a pewter dish for cream cheese  
3. beer bowl  
4. oak beer can 
5. aquavit decanter of green glass  
6. silver tumblers  (#6 and #7)
7. corresponding to the modern schnapps glasses
8. china dish for lye-cured fish 
9. a pewter porridge bowl. 

“But there was also a large pewter dish with a pig's head on it, as well as several other vessels. On the table too, we see a three-branched candle, a symbol of the Holy Trinity, and two other candles. 

“Note: On the Christmas table stood a wooden can of the best beer, which no one was allowed to drink. It was called ‘Angel beer’ and was intended for the Christmas Angel.” —From “Christmas in Sweden 100 Years Ago” by Tre Tryckare, 1964

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️Etiquette Encyclopedia

Bridal Etiquette –‘Thank You’s

“The stemware is truly beautiful. Though we're tempted to hold it back for state occasions, we do use it nightly.”

Be Speedy In Saying Thanks

When it comes to thank you notes, there's a very simple rule of etiquette. It doesn't matter so much how you phrase your note: It's the speed with which you send it off that shows your good manners, as well as your gratitude. If writing the letters looms as a huge task, plan to do just a few at a time. 

Keep your list of gifts and your writing supplies out on the desk, or a bridge table, and use those odd times to do a few notes. Your thanks should be simple and sincere, never pretentious. Try to have the giver feel he can see his gift in your first home. You can use phrases like these: “The bud vases you sent us look lovely on our fireplace mantel.” “We christened the casserole you gave us last night, and the budget beef stew tasted delicious.” “The stemware is truly beautiful. Though we're tempted to hold it back for state occasions, we do use it nightly.” 

These notes may be written on informal notepaper, possibly with your monogram or name engraved on the top sheet. Or simple notepaper of good quality may be used. Keep away from too highly decorated notepaper. It's fine for casual writing, but not for bridal thank yous. – San Bernardino Sun, 1970

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

At-Home Wedding Etiquette

The etiquette of the home wedding is nearly the same as in more pretentious affairs, but many of the formalities are dispensed with.  MarthaStewartWeddings.com recommends making the renting of a tent a priority for outdoor receptions when getting married at home. “Unless the inside of your home can accommodate all of your guests—and every part of your wedding day—you're going to need a tent, says Jackson. Getting hitched in the summer? A tent with air conditioning and fans might also be a welcome addition.” – Photo source, Pinterest

At a home wedding the number of guests is limited. The bride wears a colored dress of light silk or a simple white one. The bridal party faces the clergyman and he faces the company. The etiquette of the home wedding is nearly the same as in more pretentious affairs, but many of the formalities are dispensed with. 

The decoration of the home is according to the tastes of the parties most interested. The wedding refreshments are partaken of in whatever way best conduces to the comfort and enjoyment of those present. A private wedding is one at which there are none present except the contracting parties, the minister and the witnesses. – San Francisco Call, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Tabletops and Etiquette

Those pretty candle shades, so much in use, were decorative to the furnishings of the table, but they prevented the most effective and becoming light at Victorian dinner parties.

Etiquette Notes for the Victorian Woman and the Home

A woman who has carefully studied the effects of light at her dinners says that unshaded candles in high, old fashioned candelabra that branch out in many directions, are absolutely the perfection of light for a table, and are, too a most becoming light to the faces of the guests gathered around it. The candelabra should be tall enough to carry the lights fairly high. The pretty candle shades so much in use are decorative to the furnishings of the table, but they prevent the most effective and becoming light.

A knitted table padding is being offered for use under table cloths. It is especially recommended because it does not grow hard after washing, as does the ordinary table pad. For a polished table, too, its protection is claimed to be more perfect. 

Cosmos and pansies are preferred for cloths intended for round tables. Sometimes entire plants are used to form a double border, with a plain linen center, and a plain strip between. The latest and most fashionable tablecloths have centers of plain linen, to which deep floral borders extend from the hem. Poppies, lilacs or goldenrod are favorite designs. Floral designs are preferred, the figures being larger and more pronounced than ever, this season.

Some damasks show the representations of whole plants or of a great branch bearing both flowers and foliage. Lace-trlmmed table linen is more fashionable than it was last season. Three new laces are used in ornamenting it. One is a French lace, resembling heavy linen torchon of elaborate patterns; another is a Russian lace of close meshes and clumsy figures.

Table linen that is not trimmed with lace, should be marked with embroidered initials. The accepted size for letters on tablecloths is two and one-half inches, and for napkins one and one-half inches. The initials should be intertwined, but the old-fashioned monogram style is no longer admissible.

In the serving of a pineapple:  Slice it, dip it in grated coconut, and pile high on a dish of fine white china.

A jelly sauce that is used for meats or the game course, requires that the jelly should be melted to the liquid state, and a tablespoonful of wine added just as it is sent around.–Sacramento Daily Union, 1898

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Courtesy on the Roads

Seldom does one meet a driver on the open highway who will give an inch to the other fellow and surrender his right-of-way to convenience other cars.

Boors All!

A reasoning being can usually find answers to his own questions, but there is one that stumps all. Why it is that motorists forget all etiquette and the rudiments of courtesy when they get behind a steering wheel? It is not polite to swear at the dining table if the butter isn’t passed the instant it is asked for. And almost everybody employs the polite “Pardon me” in pedestrian jams and crowded elevators. 

But get the same persons in the driver’s seat and there is loud honking and a cuss word or two, if the car ahead stops too suddenly or fails to start soon enough. Seldom does one meet a driver on the open highway who will give an inch to the other fellow and surrender his right-of-way to convenience other cars. It is everybody for himself and curses upon the other fellow even though his faults and transgressions are your own. – San Pedro News Pilot, 1932

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia