Gilded Age Excess and Etiquette

Cutting up a $2,100 cake at a birthday party attended by several score of young men and fair girls just entering society has hardly created more than a ripple in New York society, so common are the extravagant whims of millionaires. Yet such a cake was one of the features of the recent birthday given by Mrs. Alva Vanderbilt on the occasion of the social debut of her daughter, Consuelo.

A Vanderbilt Cake

Cut at Miss Consuelo Vandebilt's Birthday Party

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Valuable Diamond Rings Inside

The Brilliant Prizes Went to the Lady and Gentleman who Drew the Slices Containing Them

Cutting up a $2,100 cake at a birthday party attended by several score of young men and fair girls just entering society has hardly created more than a ripple in New York society, so common are the extravagant whims of millionaires. Yet such a cake was one of the features of the recent birthday given by Mrs. Alva Vanderbilt on the occasion of the social debut of her daughter, Consuelo.

Strictly speaking, the cake did not cost $2,100. It cost $100, and that is a pretty good price for a cake, even if it was three feet in diameter and was carried by two men with difficulty. The value of $2,100 was due to the presence beneath its frosted and beautifully ornamented crust of two diamond rings, one for the fortunate young lady whose pearly teeth found it nestling in the depths of the wedge which was cut off with a silver knife for her delectation, the other for some equally fortunate young man.

The rings cost $1,000 each. Both were clusters and were especially designed. An inscription was engraved upon the inner surface of the golden bands. The cake was not in itself an especially ornate affair. The baking company which furnished it has made many others and cakes more costly. This cake was 36 inches in diameter and 14 inches in height. It was made of layers of poundcake and marmalade, the whole saturated with French cordials. The surface decorations were of roses in sugar, and the sides of the cake were further decorated by delicate sugar tracery. A dividing line in red was drawn across the snowy surface of the cake.

In one of the halves thus made a tiny blue silk flag bore the letter “G.” In the other field an orange banner displayed the letter “L.” Within these sections were hidden the rings destined for the lucky lady and gentleman. At the close of the elaborate collation, over which the proud mother of the young debutante presided, Miss Consuelo in person undertook the task of cutting up the cake. There was as near an approach to a scramble as good breeding would permit. The cake had been less than half distributed before the prizes had been discovered, and the rest of the guests accepted their pieces as a polite duty. 

In the meanwhile, a cake containing two rings valued at $100 each was being cut in the servants’ hall. “There was nothing remarkable about this prize cake,” said Manager Jansen, of the company which furnished it, “except that the value of the rings given was greater than usual.” The custom of secreting valuable jewels in cakes made for birthday parties and cotillions is common among society people of wealth, and an order for something of this nature is received every day or two. I do not recall an instance of rings being used as valuable as these, but a list of the names of parties who have expended from $200 to $500 in this line would be quite long and embrace most of the names made familiar in society news columns. 

“At a wedding celebrated last October, a bride’s cake contained a handsome solitaire diamond for each of the bridesmaids. If asked to say off-hand how many orders of this kind we have filled in a single year, I would say more than a hundred. On last St. Valentine's Day we put on the market a fancy heart-shaped cake, elaborately ornamented and satin incased, which cost $3 each. In no less than fifty instances, the parties who ordered them – men of course– brought valuable rings to be placed in them.” –Hanford Journal, April 23, 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Alva Vanderbilt’s Triumph

That Mrs. Alva Smith Vanderbilt knows how to exert power has been abundantly proved times without number. It was her genius in this particular regard which directed the famous Vanderbilt fancy-dress ball some thirteen years ago. More money was expended upon that festival of wealth than on any private function in the social history of the land, and it secured for the Vanderbilts an entrance to the smart set which the Astors had long opposed. Mrs. Vanderbilt earned undying fame by that achievement, but it will be pushed far into the shade by the extravagant grandeur of the wedding which will make of her daughter a Duchess. — A newspaper artist’s rendering of Alva Vanderbilt’s New York residence.

Such Magnificence Puts Old Aladdin in the Shade

Mrs. Vanderbilt Will Dazzle Swelldom by the Lavish Display of Wealth She Will Exhibit in Her Mansion

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Young Duchess of Marlborough and Her Jewels

The New York Home Will Be a Wondrous Sight on the Day Miss Consuelo Becomes a Duchess

👑Some of the Art Treasures👑

The Rank She Will Take Among the English Nobility on State Occasions

At the corner of Seventy-Second Street and Madison Avenue there is a plain ordinary looking house of buff brick, with nothing particular about it to attract the attention of the passer-by. To those who know anything abont architecture it would be possible by a violent stretch of their knowledge to perceive a misty resemblance to the Renaissance in its style. There are a thousand other finer homes in the city, but the fact that this particular structure is the New York home of the future Duchess of Marlborough lends a tinge of romance to an otherwise most prosaic place. Plain and almost ugly from the street side, it is rapidly being converted into a veritable fairy palace within. The fin-de siecle synonym of Alladin's lamp is boundless and limitless wealth, and not only one good genie is commanded by it, but scores of the happy fellows.

That Mrs. Alva Smith Vanderbilt knows how to exert this power has been abundantly proved times without number. It was her genius in this particular regard which directed the famous Vanderbilt fancy-dress ball some thirteen years ago. More money was expended upon that festival of wealth than on any private function in the social history of the land, and it secured for the Vanderbilts an entrance to the smart set which the Astors had long opposed. Mrs. Vanderbilt earned undying fame by that achievement, but it will be pushed far into the shade by the extravagant grandeur of the wedding which will make of her daughter a Duchess.

It is too early to go into details, as all the arrangements are still in an embryonic condition, but it is possible to give some idea of the way the house will look when the guests bidden to the wedding reception are enjoying the festivities. The feature of the large drawing rooms on the second floor of the house, forty feet in length and sixty in depth, is the magnificent fresco work on the walls and ceiling. Mrs. Vanderbilt has always been fond of a great deal of color in the ornamentation of her numerous homes, and the mass of richness to be found in those apartments is almost oppressive. But the fact that the ceilings are very high tone which is always formal, the Duke and Duchess of Marlborough come very near to the person of the Queen in processions and at dinners. — Los Angeles Herald, 1895

To be continued…

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Society Etiquette of Gilded Age Calls

In accordance with her own ideas of etiquette, borrowed partly from the London set and partly from her native hospitable Southern training, Mrs. Alva S. Vanderbilt sent out 1,000 letters to friends telling them of her daughter's engagement, and as half of that number were within calling distance of the City by the Sea, 500 persons lost no time in calling. The exact wording of the announcement cannot be stated accurately, because it differed with the person and degree of friendship. 

Rush to See the Prospective Duchess

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Town A Silken Arcadie

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Mrs. Alva Vanderbilt Sent Out 1,000 Announcements and Had 500 Calls

Within 10 days after the announcement of the Marlborough engagement their drove up the roadway within the beautiful outer portals of marble House 300 fine equippages. And out of each their tripped from one to three elegantly dressed women. An American girl had stepped into the British nobility, and these calls were for congratulation, many wishes of joy and much felicity. In accordance with her own ideas of etiquette, borrowed partly from the London set and partly from her native hospitable Southern training, Mrs. Alva S. Vanderbilt sent out 1,000 letters to friends telling them of her daughter's engagement, and as half of that number were within calling distance of the City by the Sea, 500 persons lost no time in calling. The exact wording of the announcement cannot be stated accurately, because it differed with the person and degree of friendship. 

To 20 went the barest announcement of the fact; to another 200 a more elaborate wording, and to the others all over the world, went long private letters, which were the work of the indefatigable Mrs. Alva and her secretary. To do this sort of thing well, so that it gives satisfaction to all sets of friends, is a social art greater than leading a cotillion or planning a ball. It is very astonishing how short a time it takes to get new gowns. Late in the season though it may be, early in the winter though it may seem, busy though all of the modistes advertise themselves to be, yet new dresses appear as suddenly and as beautifully planned as though months of preparation had been put upon them.


All society wore new calling gowns to pay respects to the prospective Duchess. She, quiet slip of a girl, wore white with bunches of ribbon at her waist for the Newport calls; and for the New York ones, when she came down to the city for the trousseau planning, she wore a light material, crepon mostly, or the sheerest China silk. She wore them in black, in brown, in blue and in bright red, often figured. When she goes into the street, she wears a long double-breasted coat that hides the gown to below the knees. Very English, but not very dressy, her friends say!


But the calling gowns of those who put on their best smiles and their best gowns to go to see the little Duchess to be! One of them was a heavy corded silk. The skirt fairly rustled with stiffness. It was plain and beautiful. The cut was Princess in the back, showing no seam at the waist. The fastening must have been under the arm and at the shoulder, for it was Princess in front also. A very heavy white cord and a jet braiding went across both the front and the back of the waist, making a fine full figure, as any trimming along the bust or mid-waistline will, and there was a lovely thick crystal-edged ruching around the neck. Strange what an air of elegance is given to a dress by the addition of white corded silk sleeves! 

There is a New York woman who prides herself upon dressing with elegance upon a small allowance, who has four or five sets of these sleeves, differently trimmed, that can be quickly sewed into a gown by her maid. The sleeves of this one very stunning calling gown were of white silk, with small bits of applique work upon them. The applique was in black velvet. The bits were triangles of black velvet, with beads sewed upon them. They were appliqued upon the white silk with coarse sewing twist, and around them were sewed black jet beads and small jet ornaments. The effect was very rich.


Stamped brocades in white silk are effective, but the cheapness with which they are produced makes them a little common for those who are desirous of making an individual impression. The applique bits of black velvet are not quite similar in appearance to the common brocades. Ladies who go shopping may like to walk, but those who go calling invariably likely to go in a carriage, even though it be but the two wheeler of the cab stand. The reason for this is the extreme elegance of the visiting toilet. Even the dinner gown is simple alongside of it. Nothing in the whole wardrobe is as fine as one's best calling gown. — San Jose Mercury, October 1895

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Party Etiquette

And Etiquette for Today's Parties, As Well

Thank your hostess before you do anything else at a party! - Part of the Gilded Age 400 — The Vanderbilts at a Gilded Age, fancy dress, costume ball in the late 1800s. The Vanderbilts were one of the richest American families at the time.

When you enter a drawing-room where there is a party, you salute the lady of the house before speaking to any one else. Even your most intimate friends are enveloped in an opake (sic) atmosphere until you have made your bow to your entertainer. 

You then mix with the company, salute your acquaintances, and join in the conversation. You may converse freely with any person you meet on such an occasion, without the formality of an introduction.— From “The Laws of Etiquette,” by A Gentleman

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia