Saltwater Etiquette

Etiquette on the water is expected between ships. To be without any manners, and showing courtesy to others on the sea, captains and their crews would find themselves as welcome as drivers on the worlds’ highways would be without exhibiting courtesy and manners behind the wheel. To use the word “unwelcome” would be an understatement!

Punctiliousness as Seen Between Ships, 

Big and Little, at Sea

How the Master of an Indian Liner and the Yankee Skipper of a “Cordwood Coaster” Exchanged Greetings

The Atlantic ocean is, streaked from one side to the other with the long, black, trailing smoke plumes of the big, rushing “record breakers” and “ocean greyhounds,” and few are left of the gallant old white winged craft that carried the flag and the fame of the nation to every part of the world, save some scattering “oil sleds” which the sailors, or to speak more correctly, the deckhands on the liners contemptuously refer to as “wind jammers.” 

Here and there, however, will be seen an occasional East Indian semi-clipper, either bound out to China or the East Indies, loaded with case oil, or coming home with a cargo of hemp, jute, linseed, rattan or some other of the fragrant and valuable products of the gorgeous east. But through all the changes in the size and rig of vessels, through all the vicissitudes of a life on the ocean wave, the captain of a ship, be it big or little, is, as a rule, as punctilious in the matter of etiquette as a Spanish grandee. And the etiquette of the sea is a wonderful thing. 

A hail from a little 75-ton “fore and after” will be answered with as much regard for the proprieties by the East India ship of 2,000 tons as it would be by one of its own size, and when the big ship has been run through storm and fog by “dumb luck and dead reckoning,” the appearance of the little one is hailed with delight, as affording a means of rectifying possible errors in reckoning. 

An instance of this kind occurred off Cape Cod a short time ago, when the captain of a ship with a valuable cargo and a crew of twenty-five men, as the fog lifted about noon of the seventh consecutive day without an observation, saw almost under his bows a little “cordwood coaster” creeping along under mainsail and jib, with her skipper at the wheel and her crew (one man) vigorously hauling away at the jib sheet. “Ship ahoy!” roared the skipper.

Back from the deck way above him came the answering call, “Ahoy there.”

“Where ye from?” was the next question. “Calcutta, bound for Boston,” was the reply.

“What's yer cargo?”

“Linseed, spice and jute butts.”

“How long ye bin out?”

“One hundred and sixty days,”

“Gosh!” said the skipper, and then came the chance of the big ship’s captain.

“Schooner ahoy!” came down from the deck of the “lime juicer.”

“Ahoy there,” went back the answer “What's your longitude?”

The skipper knew where he was and the master of the Calcutta ship was uncertain. So when the answer was given he was much relieved, for it showed that he was nearer home than he had reckoned. But he was going to have his talk out any way, and although the little fellow had his jib to windward he roared out:

“Where you from?”

“Gloucester, bound for New Bedford.”

“What’s your cargo?”

“Rocks and bilge water mostly.” “How long you been out?”

The skipper was stung by the sarcasm of the question, and with a look of scorn at the big ship bellowed out: “Bin out all night, by thunder, and I wish I hadn't. Draw away your jib!” and the sheet block went over to the lee rail with a bang, the sail filled, and the last the Indian man heard of the schooner was the skipper’s shout from the stern of his boat, “Ye think ye’re darn smart, don't ye, jest cause ye’re big!” -New York Tribune, 1894

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette at Sea: Manners in the Mess

Tall Ships Adventures take people on adventures around the UK coast, Europe, the Canaries, the Azores and the Caribbean

Etiquette on board ship is just as relevant as any other time or place, perhaps even more so as you’re living in very close proximity to others. Your days and nights are spent pulling on ropes and scrubbing the decks, keeping watch in the pouring rain, climbing the rigging and setting the sails. It can be a high stress environment but in order for a ship to run smoothly there must be discipline and there must be teamwork. Manners and considering the needs of your shipmates are therefore of paramount importance.

When I refer to table manners at sea I’m not talking about the manners you use on some lavish Caribbean cruise or leisurely yacht charter. If that’s the kind of seafaring you enjoy then I recommend eating as you would at a fine dining establishment. I’m talking about when you’ve barely slept in four days; you’re cold, and your clothes are dirty and smell musty. Your muscles acPosd you have bruises down your arms; your stomach is churning from sea sickness and you feel woozy but there is no option of taking a nap. Etiquette and manners may be the furthest thing from your mind but they matter.

The mess on a working vessel is a far cry from the opulence and splendour of a cruise liner. It is small and cramped and only too easy to accidentally spill your soup down your front. Etiquette about which fork to use isn’t an issue because you only have one fork. And one spoon. And one knife. Not everyone can eat at once so they have separate sittings. This means that mealtime can be fast paced. You eat and you leave so that the galley staff can clean up, wash up, and serve the next lot of weary seafarers.

Etiquette is all about adaptability. You adapt the etiquette to suit the situation, the company and the circumstances. If you’re eating with tired, grouchy sailors then you need to adapt to their ways. One thing remains though: consideration and respect for your fellow diners. You may not make use of all the rules you learned in Fine Dining for Dummies but you still need to be aware of the people around you and do your part in making it a pleasurable experience for all concerned.
                    

Rachel North, at sea and in the mess, 2nd from the right

Some Do’s and Don'ts for Dining at Sea

• DON’T be late for your mealtime.
• DO make sure you know what time your sitting is and go as soon as you are called.
• DON’T wait until everyone has been served before you start eating.
• DO pass the plates down the table to the people at the far end.
• DON’T ask the galley staff to get you a drink.
• DO offer a drink to everyone else at your table when you get one for yourself.
• DON’T refuse to eat anything if you feel sea sick.
• DO try and nibble on anything to settle your stomach, even if it’s just a piece of bread or dry biscuit.
• DON’T hog the salad.
• DO offer the bowl to your neighbours once you’ve taken your share.
• DON’T finish the salad.
• DO offer your shipmates the last of the salad and then tell the galley staff that it needs to be refilled.
• DON’T leave half your food untouched.
• DO tell the galley staff if you don’t want something being served.
• DON’T elbow your neighbours as you try and cut your food.
• DO keep your elbows in. Yes, it’s cramped but everyone’s in the same boat (literally).
• DON’T spill your food and drink.
• DO ask for a cloth if you do spill anything.
• DON’T bash into your neighbours even if the ship seems to be on its side.
• DO apologise for bashing into your neighbours and try to keep upright for the remainder of the meal.
• DON’T sit there in silence no matter how tired you are.
• DO smile, make polite conversation and say thank you to the staff and your fellow diners.
• DON’T lean over your shipmates if you want something.
• DO ask politely for something to be passed to you.
• DON’T talk with your mouth full.
• DO chew carefully and swallow before speaking.
• DON’T make a distasteful face when your food is served.
• DO thank the cook for feeding you so well
• DON’T throw up in the mess or galley
• DO go on deck if you feel queasy but keep to the leeward side of the ship (also, put your harness on and secure yourself to the ship – we don’t want any accidents!)
• DON’T stay seated for fifteen minutes drinking your tea after finishing your meal.
• DO take your tea with you out on deck
• DON’T try and be helpful by taking dirty plates and cups into the galley (you’ll just be in the way).
• DO help the galley staff by passing them plates and cups from the table.
• DON’T sit in the captain’s seat even if he isn’t there.
• DO sit anywhere else where the table has been laid.

I hope you’ve found this list helpful for the next time you find yourself on a working vessel at sea. Just remember that even when you’re feeling tired, sick and grouchy you still need to be aware of your shipmates around you who most likely feel the exact same way… Good manners cost nothing. Bad manners can cost you an otherwise amazing experience.
  

                               
Rachel North is a writer, etiquette and tea enthusiast with a heart for young people and a special interest in youth development. In her spare time Ms North enjoys sailing, visiting places of historical interest, attending social events and curling up with a good book, her husband and a cup of Earl Grey tea.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia