Gilded Age D.C. Etiquette Coach

            

Etiquette arbiter— The young woman who is practically the ruler of Washington Society. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions. 

She Coaches the President's Wife in Social Affairs 

Unique Position Occupied by Miss Isabel Hagner in Mrs. Roosevelt's Household, Where It Will Be Her Duty to Supervise Details of State Functions and Name Guests 

*A second debut article from 2016*

WASHINGTON— Miss Isabel Hagner, daughter of Dr. Charles E. Hagner of this city, is the first appointee to the unique office of social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss Hagner is eminently fitted for this position. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions.

She has made a profound study of the laws of etiquette and she brings to her work the experience gained by acting in a similar capacity for Mrs. Hay, wife of the Secretary of State; Mrs. Root, wife of the Secretary of War; Mrs. Charles Emory Smith, wife of the Postmaster General; Mrs. Hanna and Miss Paulding, niece of Senator Depew.

As the social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Hagner's duties will be arduous and various. Besides keeping up the large private correspondence she will supervise all the details of the state functions. She will know the little private enmities and animosities which often embarrass hospitable occasions, and it will be her task to arrange the functions with a view to personal harmony.

A revision of the guest list will be confided to her, and this alone is no light duty. The unofficial functions at the White House probably outnumber the official events. Miss Alice Roosevelt's debut and the entertainment given especially for her will be under Miss Hagner's direction and it will be her duty to name the young women figuring in official, and resident society, who are entitled to invitations from the President's daughter. — San Francisco Call, 1901

  🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Congressman’s Etiquette Lessons

Photo of a White House State Dinner place setting for President Lyndon Johnson. Cigarettes and matches were requirements for a properly set formal table of the era. Smoking was not banned in the White House until the Clinton Administration in the 1990’s

LIGHTER SIDE OF WASHINGTON 

Congressman Gets Seven Cards Telling Of Proper Dinner Behavior

WASHINGTON (UPI) By no standards that I know of could Rep. John F. Baldwin be described as a bumpkin. He is a graduate of the University of California; he was president of his law class for three years; he was a practicing attorney for five years, and he has served in Congress since 1954. You would think a person with this background would feel at home in almost any company. Yet there is something about a State Dinner at the White House that makes even a relatively sophisticated congressman uncertain about his manners. 

Baldwin was one of the guests at the dinner that President Kennedy gave for the Shah of Iran last week, and I suppose it was the invitation that put him on edge. As he related a report on the affair to his constituents, the envelope contained no less than five cards, which seemed to take nothing for granted. The first card told what the occasion was. The second one gave the time and place of the dinner. The third one told him what to wear. The fourth one told him where to respond. And the fifth one told him what gate to enter. When he and his wife arrived at the White House, they were handed still another card which told them where to sit. At the table, they found a seventh card which made it clear they had found the right place. It was at this point, apparently, that Baldwin’s confidence in his table etiquette was shattered. 

“I must confess that my main concern during the dinner, was whether I was using the proper knife or the proper fork at the right time,” he said. “There were three different knives on the right, and three different forks on the left.” Expressing hope that he “represented you properly at this state dinner,” he said, "I think I only used the wrong fork once." Well, gee, I don’t want to embarrass the congressman or anything, but I must point out that when you have three forks, it is impossible to use the wrong fork only once. Silverware errors are cumulative and cannot be rectified as the meal progresses. In other words, if Baldwin used his dinner fork on the salad, then he must have used his salad fork during the main course or desert. But Baldwin needn’t feel chagrined about it, for it was the fault of the White House staff. They should have provided yet another card showing which fork to use.– Madera Tribune, 1962

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Prospective First Ladies

Although a lot has been spoken and written about the capabilities of Presidential candidates in the coming campaign, very little has been said of the woman who may share the success of any one of them. Of course, Mrs. Franklin D. Roosevelt, wife of New York's Governor, who is the leading Democratic candidate, needs no introduction to Americans. Born a Roosevelt, she kept the illustrious name intact by marrying one. Mrs. Roosevelt is no stranger to polities and diplomatic usage, so in the event of her husband's victory in the coming campaign she would fit into the role of White House hostess like a hand into a glove. Mrs. John Nance Garner, wife of the Speaker of the House, would also make an ideal “First Lady.” Since her marriage in 1895, she has been “Texas Jack’s” secretary and advisor. Their ideal partnership constitutes as romantic a story as any in the pages of fiction. Then there is Mrs. Newton D. Baker, who is equipped for the job of presiding at the White House by reason of her association with diplomatic society during her husband's tenure of office as Secretary of War in the late President Wilson's cabinet. One unusual possibility deserves mention. In the event of Governor George White of Ohio being nominated and elected, he will bring the youngest “First Lady” in history to the White House– his 24-year-old daughter, Mary, who is now his official hostess in the Gubernatorial mansion of Ohio.

These Potential First Ladies Well Qualified for Position

Wives of Three Leading Democratic Candidates and Daughter of a Fourth Ideally Suited for Job of White House Hostess.

WASHINGTON, June 17. Although it is an oft-repeated truth that every American boy may consider himself a potential President of these United States, we rarely, if ever, hear a word about the prospects of the girls who are destined to marry these boys. A strange oversight this, seeing that it is perfectly logical that if every boy has a chance of becoming "First Gentleman" of the land every girl has an equal chance of acquiring the coveted title of "First Lady."

Take a few of the present candidates for the Democratic nomination for the Presidency: Governor Franklin D. Roosevelt, of New York: Speaker John Nance Garner, of Texas; Newton D. Baker, of Cleveland, Ohio, and Governor George White, of Ohio. The capabilities of these candidates are well known, but how much is known of the woman who will share the success of any one of them? Of course, Mrs. Roosevelt, by reason of her distinguished family tree, is the more familiar of the potential “First Ladies.” Born a Roosevelt, she kept the illustrious name intact by marrying one on March 17, 1905. Most of Mrs. Roosevelt's life has been spent in the service of her family and more than a half-dozen civic movements.

Mrs. Roosevelt is no stranger to national politics, having proved her metal on many a campaign platform. In the last Presidential campaign, she fought tooth and nail in support of Alfred E. Smith, the Democratic standard-bearer. Ironically, Smith is her husband's bitterest opponent in the present fight for nomination.In the event of her husband's victory in the coming campaign, Mrs. Roosevelt would fit into the role of White House hostess like a hand in a glove.

Mrs. John Nance Garner, wife of the Speaker of the House, though not as widely known as Mrs. Roosevelt, would also make an 18 carat “First Lady.” Since “Texas Jack” married the former Ettie Rheiner, in November, 1895, she has been his secretary, helper and advisor. There is very little about politics that Mrs. Garner does not know. The story of Speaker John and his wife deserves a whole volume to itself if justice is to be done to one of the most ideal partnerships in politics or any other field. Their struggles and triumphs constitute a romantic story rarely found outside the pages of fiction.

Then there is Mrs. Newton D.Baker, who, as Elizabeth Leopold, of Pottstown, Pa., married the present Democratic “Dark Horse,” in 1902. Mrs. Baker would also make an admirable White House Lady, knowing, as she does, the highways and byways of social and diplomatic etiquette. Though her. home is in Cleveland, O., Mrs.. Baker has been established as one of the capital's most popular hostesses since the day in 1916 when her husband took office as Secretary of War in the cabinet of the late-President Wilson. She has persistently worked for the cause of working women for many years; knows politics inside out and her pet ambition is to be an artist and to sing. Though she is not very hopeful of her husband's chances of being named to carry the banner of Democracy, Mrs. Baker is the most consistent admirer of the “Dark Horse.”

While on the subject of potential “First Ladies,” one unusual possibility deserves mention. In the event that Governor George White, of Ohio, should win the nomination. and be victorious at the polls, he would bring the youngest “First Lady” in history to the White House. She is his daughter, Mary, 24, the eldest of five children. Governor White is a widower and when he was elected Governor of Ohio, in 1930, Mary automatically be came his official hostess. Who knows, she may yet rule the social functions in the House of Presidents. – Calexico Chronicle, 1932

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Awkward State Dinners

White House tables set for the Obama administration’s last State Dinner. His administration’s first State Dinner was memorable for the now divorced, notoriety seeking, party-crashing couple, Tareq and Michaele Salahi. With no invite, they managed to not only skirt Secret Service scrutiny and attend the State Dinner, but get photographed meeting the President, just a few feet away from the Indian Prime Minister. 

— Photo source, Pinterest 

WASHINGTON — President Obama’s first state dinner was memorable for who showed up uninvited. His sixth, a high-glitz affair for the President of France, may be remembered for who was initially invited but did not attend.

Obama opened the White House doors Monday to French President Francois Hollande — but not to his former First Lady, journalist Valerie Trierweiler. Hollande’s first state visit to the U.S. comes after he announced his breakup with Trierweiler amid a swirl of reports linking him to an actress.

That development threw preparations into confusion. Two days of events culminate in a state dinner on the White House lawn for more than 300 people.

Like any good host, the White House did its best to make Hollande comfortable, dismissing the trouble of crossing Trierweiler off the guest list. Officials would not comment on whether they had tossed out invitations bearing Trierweiler’s name. They would not say who would take her coveted place next to the President at the head table. They released details on the entrees (American), the entertainment (singer Mary J. Blige) and the dessert (whimsical, including orange-zest-dusted cotton candy).

On Monday, the Presidents traveled to Charlottesville, Va., to tour Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello estate, keeping the focus on the storied Franco-American alliance. (Some saw ties to infidelity even there, however: Historians believe Jefferson fathered children out of wedlock with Sally Hemings, a slave.)

For the world of efficient and polite protocol experts, a guest of honor traveling without a companion is nothing compared with the embarrassment of party crashers like the ones who talked their way into Obama’s dinner for the Indian prime minister in 2009.

“This is not difficult to manage,” said Anita McBride, former chief of staff for First Lady Laura Bush, who now heads the Center for Congressional and Presidential Studies at American University. Sure, the image of the two couples standing in their finest at the North Portico will be a person short, but c’est la vie.

“This is an interesting visit, isn’t it?” said Mary Mel French, chief of protocol during the Clinton administration and author of “United States Protocol: The Guide to Official Diplomatic Etiquette.”

At one time, a head of state bringing a guest who was not a spouse would have caused headaches for the Office of Protocol and the Secret Service, French said. That has changed with the times as more heads of state have remained unhitched. The Secret Service now typically gives companions, married or not, the same level of protection as spouses.

Indeed, though often described as dictated by strict protocol and decades of tradition, state visits are also shaped by the times. Politics, personal whim and predicaments all factor in. Franklin D. Roosevelt scandalized some Americans by staging a picnic with hot dogs for Britain’s King George VI during a state visit in 1939. President George W. Bush hosted many foreign leaders at his ranch in Texas, a reflection of his preference for casual, personal interaction, McBride said.

President Clinton held 23 state dinners, a reflection of his love of a good Washington schmoozefest. By contrast, and perhaps reflecting the differences in their personalities, Tuesday’s state dinner is Obama’s sixth. White House officials say the low count is a result of tighter budgets and sensitivity to tight economic times.

With fewer parties, each becomes more important — a more meaningful gesture of gratitude or praise for an ally the White House wants to spotlight, said one senior administration official, who asked not to be named discussing the White House’s approach to state visits.

In this case, the ceremonials are a sign of appreciation for an ally that has stuck with the Obama administration when others, particularly in Europe, have not.

“Let’s just say that we’ve come a long way from freedom fries and are now working together on multiple continents,” a senior administration official said.

The White House kept a lid on discussion of the French President’s personal life, with a senior official saying the administration is “studiously neutral.”

After a magazine published photos that appeared to link Hollande to French actress Julie Gayet, Trierweiler was hospitalized for a week.

The incident reignited a debate in France on privacy and the role of the press.

Hollande promised to clarify his relationship with Trierweiler before leaving for the U.S. On Jan. 25, he announced he’d be traveling alone.

He has tried to cast his U.S. visit as a reboot. “For President Hollande, it comes at a useful moment for him to show him operating at a world stage,” said Erik Goldstein, a professor of international relations at Boston University who has written about state visits.— Los Angeles Times, 2014

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washington Centenary Etiquette

William Henry Harrison was the 9th President of the United States. The last president born as a British subject, Harrison died of pneumonia merely 31 days into his term, thereby serving the shortest tenure in United States presidential history. He was the first president to die in office. Harrison's death briefly sparked a constitutional crisis, leaving unsettled Constitutional questions as to the presidential line of succession. 

If we could be carried back into the 18th century we should behold a country totally unfamiliar to us, and the material transformation which the progress of a hundred years has wrought, but measures a corresponding change in the national attitude. Though only the Chief Magistrate of a Government which was viewed with scant respect abroad, and composed of a few factious states that offered many intricate puzzles in statecraft, and sharply checked any extension of the executives power, nevertheless the Republican Court was hedged in by much more formality than is now permitted, to rule the White House.

Were we to apply the principle of evolution to social forms, we could see how well they have been demonstrated in the changes wrought in the etiquette of the Federal Capital. Washington's attendance, upon Congress in a cream-colored coach, drawn by six white horses, with outriders and postilions, escorted by the Secretary of State and the Secretary of the Treasury, savored of Kingly state. His receptions were chillingly formal, but in strict accordance with his sense of Presidential propriety, which forbade the ceremonial of hand-shaking as too familiar. England's yoke had been thrown off, but her influence was still apparent in the aristocratic tinge of society and the imitation of her form.

As the notion of the Republic has been developed, these remaining traces of Royal ceremonies have disappeared, until now. President Harrison steps from the ranks of private citizenship into the executive chair of a nation great in extent and influence without any essential change in the etiquette of his intercourse with his fellow-citizens, and now Americans see nothing derogatory to the indignity of the high position when our President serves his guests to refreshments or assists them in the cloakroom. 

These changes have deep seated causes. The cheers which will re-echo for President Harrison on his progress to New York will have a widely different keynote from those that greeted Washington. The pulse of the nation, then struggling to its feet, beat high with hope and with fear for their new Government. Under the Confederation, the United States were hopelessly drifting toward anarchy, and the terrors of the French revolution filled American elites with forebodings for their own future. 

The Federal Government seemed to offer a remedy, but might not the President become an absolute Monarch, and the Senate arrogate to itself aristocratic privileges and relentlessly crush the liberty of the States. Thus it was that a deep undercurrent of anxious emotion surged through the hearts of the citizens who greeted Washington, while the cheers which will resound for Harrison as he follows in his predecessor's footsteps will arise from hearts full of proud satisfaction in their President, and trusting with perfect confidence in the form of Government that has so well stood the test of the century, and under which the country has achieved such unparalleled progress. — Pacific Rural Press, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Crowning Daughters

A hand-tinted photograph of Alice Roosevelt (by Frances Benjamin Johnston). This was taken around the time of her debut, in 1903

May Wear Crown at Coronation

***********************

President's Daughter To Attend

Society is deeply interested in the report that Miss Alice Roosevelt will attend the coronation of King Edward. It is said here tonight, that Miss Roosevelt will sail with Special Ambassador Reid and Mrs. Reid, on June 5.

When Mr. and Mrs. Whitelaw Reid come to the capital, next week, the matter will be arranged in every detail. Her presentation at the first drawing-room immediately following the coronation, will be made by Ambassador and Mrs. Choate. The latter has been written to with regard, not only to the presentation gown, but what is of even greater importance, for minute directions as to the coronation robe. 

This, in accordance with the court regulations, must be of a rich crimson. The exact shade selected by Queen Alexandra, is of the shade of an American Beauty rose. Miss Roosevelt, as the daughter of the head of this nation, would, in accordance with court etiquette, wear coronation robes the same as any of the Princesses of the blood royal. In the latter case, as also with every Peeress to be present, there must be a crown worn. This, in the case of Miss Roosevelt, might be the same as those worn by the Princesses. – Los Angeles Herald, January, 1902

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Eiquette Encyclopedia

Romanian Queen's Faux Pas

Officials were busy trying to hush up criticism of the Queen’s violation of diplomatic etiquette in holding a State Dinner here last night without first making a courtesy call on President and Mrs. Coolidge

Queen Marie ‘In Dutch’ 

————————

Already in National Capital 

Gives Dinner, Failing to Call On President and Wife

By United Press

WASHINGTON, D. C., October 19th - The onward sweep of Queen Marie’s American popularity tour hit a snag today. Officials were busy trying to hush up criticism of the Queen’s violation of diplomatic etiquette in holding a State Dinner here last night without first making a courtesy call on President and Mrs. Coolidge. Although her Majesty’s banquet was described by the Roumanian legation as “a family dinner,’’ invitations were sent to the Ministers of Poland, Czecho-Slavakia, Jugo-Slavia, the Charge d’Affairs of Great Britain and France and other officials. 

Critics of the Queen’s diplomatic dinner said her impropriety could have been avoided had she called at the White House immediately after arriving in Washington, the original plan announced by the State Department. With these worries on its hands, the Department was undecided today what reply if any should be made to protests of newspaper publishers against alleged exploitation by the Queen for commercial purposes of this government’s hospitality. — Healdsburg Tribune, 1926

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

U.S. State Dinner Etiquette

Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

At a State Dinner, the etiquette of the White House is exactly the reverse of the custom at a private dinner. The guests assemble in the East Room and await the President and his wife, who appear at the stroke of the clock. Woe betide the late guest! He has committed a national or international breach of etiquette.

At the table the President is served first, his wife next, then the guests, in order of precedence. An invitation to the White House is a command, and takes precedence of all others, even of a dinner at one's own house. An infringement of this rule would be regarded as a shocking breach of the amenities. The President's sister may be at the helm of the Whits House, as Mrs. McElroy was during President Arthur's administration, and Miss Rose Cleveland (being a part of Mr. Cleveland's first administration); but her position is never like that of the President's wife.

She has much more latitude, and although she follows in a general way the etiquette laid down for the President's wife, she has by no means the recognised official standing of the "first lady of the land." The younger and more inexperienced a woman is when she enters the White House, the more likely she is to succeed; since she is likely to do as she is told, without presuming to act upon her own judgment. This is one secret of Mrs. Cleveland's success. — The Sausalito News, 1897

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Etiquette Coach to White House

Etiquette arbiter— The young woman who is practically the ruler of Washington Society

She Coaches the President's Wife in Social Affairs 

Unique Position Occupied by Miss Isabel Hagner in Mrs. Roosevelt's Household, Where It Will Be Her Duty to Supervise Details of State Functions and Name Guests 

WASHINGTON— Miss Isabel Hagner, daughter of Dr. Charles E. Hagner of this city, is the first appointee to the unique office of social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt. Miss Hagner is eminently fitted for this position. She has for the past three or four years been the recognized authority on all social forms and conventions.

She has made a profound study of the laws of etiquette and she brings to her work the experience gained by acting in a similar capacity for Mrs. Hay, wife of the Secretary of State; Mrs. Root, wife of the Secretary of War; Mrs. Charles Emory Smith, wife of the Postmaster General; Mrs. Hanna and Miss Paulding, niece of Senator Depew.

As the social secretary of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Hagner's duties will be arduous and various. Besides keeping up the large private correspondence she will supervise all the details of the state functions. She will know the little private enmities and animosities which often embarrass hospitable occasions, and it will be her task to arrange the functions with a view to personal harmony.

A revision of the guest list will be confided to her, and this alone is no light duty. The unofficial functions at the White House probably outnumber the official events. Miss Alice Roosevelt's debut and the entertainment given especially for her will be under Miss Hagner's direction and it will be her duty to name the young women figuring in official, and resident society, who are entitled to invitations from the President's daughter. — San Francisco Call, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washington Etiquette and Precedence

Franklin Pierce and his Cabinet — Franklin Pierce, 14th President of the United States, became President at a time of seeming tranquility. The United States, by virtue of the Compromise of 1850, seemed to have weathered its sectional storm. By pursuing the recommendations of southern advisers, Pierce — a New England Democrat who saw the abolitionist movement as a fundamental threat to the unity of the nation —hoped to prevent still another outbreak of that storm. But his policies, far from preserving calm, hastened the disruption of the Union.

The New York Commercial, in an article on “Etiquette and Precedence,” tells its readers what are the rules and regulations observed, in that connection, at Washington : 

The representatives of foreign governments are somewhat punctilious on points of etiquette, and attach considerable importance to the right of the first visit, and to precedence in entering a room or being seated at a table. 

We believe that formerly Senators of the United States on going to Washington for the session, called upon the President and Vice President, and there stopped, received the first call from all others, including Judges of the Supreme Court, Cabinet Ministers, Foreign Representatives, etc... 

The Judges of the Supreme Court now claim the first visit, and consequently precedence of place, for the one necessarily implies the other; and Senators are understood generally to waive the question in favor of the Judges, though Mr. Clay and some of the older Senators are said to have resisted the concession. 

A concession of precedence has also been made in favor of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, on the grounds that he is next to the Vice President in the line of succession to the Presidency in case of death, resignation, etc... So that the following would seem to be the order of official precedency:

1. President 

2. Vice President 

3. Speaker of the House 

4. Judges of the Supreme Court 

5. Senators 

6. Cabinet and Foreign Ministers

7. House of Representatives 

The Secretary of State, we believe, takes the precedence of the other members of the Cabinet, but we are not sure that the claim is allowed. — 1853

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Etiquette in Washington DC

Ida Saxton McKinley was the wife of the 25th President, William McKinley

"Notwithstanding the mid-Lenten season capital society is extremely busy exchanging courtesies with the newcomers in high places. The latter are beginning to realize the bitter-sweets of their position, for the polite tactics that govern the social side of all things official involve much downright hard work.

An immutable law of local etiquette requires the ladies of official families to see to it that their husband's or father's visiting cards, together with their own, are properly distributed within a given number of days, to everyone of the hundreds who have left addresses in the traditional peck measure of bits of Bristol board which every weekly reception brings. The value of a former residence in Washington, and the experience in its social requirements, which differ from those of any other city, is plainly to be seen in the present administration.

Mrs. McKinley is a charming example of this. She knows the natural interest in the nation's house and the president's wife, and she makes everybody welcome at all times and in the most informal fashion. It is already apparent that the White House will be much more accessible to the general public during this administration than the last.

There will be a great many more receptions outside the official clique, and the whole mansion beyond the east room will not be so closed and guarded as formerly, as if each visiting stranger were a vandal bent on destruction or theft.

Mrs. Sherman, too. besides her many years as a senator's wife, has filled a position similar to that she now occupies when her husband was secretary of the treasury. The Longs, also the Algers, the Grays, and others in the present topmost circle have spent precious seasons in Washington, and are familiar with its peculiar social usages." —Special Correspondence to The Herald. WASHINGTON, D.C, March 30, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor of Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Historic U.S. Senate Etiquette Breaches

Depiction of  U.S. Senator Henry S. Foote (“a voluble, unscrupulous, sharp and successful stump speaker”) drawing a pistol on the Senate floor and attempting to shoot a fellow politician. Foote is the only senator in American history to attempt such a thing.
WASHINGTON, Sept. 14, 1852 “It is a pity that there are not enough self-respecting gentlemen among the members of the United States Senate to put an end to the disgraceful breaches of decorum and common decency which are now of almost daily occurrence in that once honorable body.” –The New York Times

“Senators Rhett and Clemens have contributed largely, in their recent collision, to that unworthy-spirit which is been infused into the United States Senate within the last ten years, and which threatens, unless checked, seriously to impair the character and influence of that distinguished body. They have indulged in personal accusations, and in the use of epithets of the most offensive and reprehensible character. Language, which no man having respect for the ordinary courtesies of life would permit himself to use in private intercourse, has been freely bandied from one to the other upon the floor of what has been styled often times, and with justice, the most dignified deliberative body in the world. Charges of knavery, lying and cowardice have been hurled from one to the other, in open Senate, with all the volubility, and more than the vulgarity, of Billingsgate. Other Senators, so far from preventing these insults and outrages upon the character of that body, took special pains to encourage the actors in them, and to prompt their repetition.

“When the degradation in the manners of the Senate shall be complete, and that body shall have been converted into the prize-fight ring to which by such scenes it seems to approximate, the public temper will inevitably sink to a corresponding level. Much of the popular respect for law grows out of the feeling of confidence in those who make it; and nothing is more important to the preservation of a healthy and conservative spirit among the people, than a dignified, decorous, and impressive demeanor, on the part of our highest legislative bodies. When the Senate becomes simply an arena for personal quarrels, -- when attacks upon personal character take the place of deliberation and discussion on themes of national importance, the whole tone of popular feeling will be lowered and the public morality will suffer disastrous change.

“What have personal controversies to do with public interest? What right have Senators, met to consult for the common good, to bring their paltry personalities -- their private differences, upon the high platform of national affairs, to be canvassed and adjusted in sight of the world? Mr. Seward never stated a more pertinent fact, than when he said a year or two since, but no man's personal affairs or opinions were worth ten minutes of the time that belongs to the nation. Ten or fifteen years ago, when such men as Clay and Calhoun and Webster gave tone and character to the deliberations of the Senate, such a thing as a low personal squabble was unknown upon that floor. Personal attacks were made and repelled, -- but only upon grounds of important public principal, and in a tone and terms befitting that high position. 

“With the advent of Senator Foote, of Mississippi, commenced a new era in the history of the American Senate. He had established a reputation at home as a voluble, unscrupulous, sharp and successful stump speaker; and he evidently regarded the Senate as only a higher field for the exercise of his peculiar gifts. He talked to the Senate just as he had talked to mass meetings at home. He teased and bullied members of the opposite party, -- he hurled epithets and scattered accusations against all with whom he differed, -- he bandied names and drew pistols upon his fellow members, as he found each species of argument most convenient and serviceable for the special occasion. His whole career in the Senate was a systematic crusade against the dignity and decorum of that body. His spirit has lingered behind his retiring steps. And the Senate now has half a dozen members equally lacking in self-respect and in regard for the reputation of the body to which they belong.

“Neither house of Congress seems at all sensitive to the degradation which such practices are bringing upon both. From neither are any measures to be expected, which will correct the evil, or check the downward tendency of Congressional manners. The only remedy is in public sentiment, and the Press as its chief organ. It is the duty of the Press never to allow any such outrage upon propriety, to pass unscathed. When members of Congress, in either branch, shall come to feel that no breach of propriety can escape severe censure from the public press, and that neither party adhesion nor personal regard can procure immunity for such offenses, they will be more careful in their conduct, and pay a steadier regard to the requirements of decorum and self-respect.” 1852

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Visitors At the U.S. Capitol

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people - your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”  Barbara Bush

Capitol Etiquette

To ensure that everyone has an enjoyable visit to the Capitol, we ask that you share these guidelines with your students and chaperones. We need everyone’s cooperation to help us preserve the building and its collections for future visitors. Adherence to security and safety requirements is important.

• Everyone will be asked to present all carried items for inspection upon entering the Capitol Visitor Center. We ask that students leave their backpacks or large bags and metal jewelry behind on the bus to help expedite the security check.
• Food, beverages (including bottled water) are *prohibited in the building.
• The Capitol is a working office building. Therefore, you are expected to dress appropriately and behave in a respectful manner in this business environment.

“In many cases not only kindness, but morality and law, are combined in our rules of etiquette.” Eleanor Roosevelt

While in the Capitol Visitor Center and the historic Capitol:

• Turn off and do not use your cell phone or other electronic devices during the orientation film and while touring the Capitol.
• Use your quiet voice when walking through the Capitol and exploring the Capitol Visitor Center’s Exhibition Hall.
• Please DO NOT TOUCH art objects including sculptures, statues, walls, and cases. The oils and acids even in clean hands can cause irreparable damage to works of art.
• Refrain from leaning on the walls or using the walls, display cases, or pedestals for note-taking.
• Do not sit on displays or sculptures for picture-taking.
• Do not block doorways or aisles or sit on stairs or floors. Seating is provided throughout the buildings.
• Stay together as a group. Be attentive to your guide’s instructions at all times and especially when moving from one area to another in the Capitol. Watch your step, always use handrails when on the stairs, and use escalators with caution.
• Respect any areas that are roped off.
• Please don’t run, push, shove, or take any other actions that may endanger other visitors or the works of art and the items in the Exhibition Hall.

*Prohibited Items: Capitol visitor policies are designed to keep visitors and staff safe and secure and to preserve the collections, facilities, and historic building and grounds for generations to come.

Before entering the Capitol Visitor Center, all visitors are screened by a magnetometer and all items that are permitted inside the building are screened by an x-ray device. The following items are strictly prohibited in the Capitol, including the Capitol Visitor Center:

 

• Liquid, including water
• Food or beverages of any kind, including fruit and unopened packaged food
• Aerosol containers
• Non-aerosol spray (Prescriptions for medical needs are permitted.)
• Any pointed object, e.g. knitting needles and letter openers (Pens and pencils are permitted.)
• Any bag larger than 18" wide x 14" high x 8.5" deep
• Electric stun guns, martial arts weapons or devices
• Guns, replica guns, ammunition, and fireworks
• Knives of any size
• Mace and pepper spray
• Razors and box cutters

Please note that the U.S. Capitol Police are authorized to make exceptions if a prohibited item is determined to be necessary and required to serve child care, medical or other special needs. If you have questions, please call the Office of Congressional Accessibility Services at 202.224.4048

The following items are not allowed in the Senate and House Galleries:

• Battery-operated electronic devices (medical devices are permitted)
• Cameras
• Cans and bottles
• Creams, lotions or perfume
• Packages, briefcases, backpacks or suitcases
• Strollers
• Video recorders or any type of recording device

Each Gallery operates a checkstand where visitors may store these items securely while they are visiting that Gallery.

Also, note that smoking is not permitted anywhere in the Capitol, and food and drink are only allowed in the Capitol Visitor Center Restaurant.

From Visit the Capitol

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of White House Table Service and State Dinners

State dinners had become so large by Ronald Reagan's presidency that none of the china could accommodate the number of guests. First Lady Nancy Reagan ordered 4,370 pieces of Lenox china, enough place settings of 19 pieces for 220 people. This was nearly twice as many placesettings as other recent services. The Reagans wanted a design that would display a strong presence for the subtly colored State Dining Room, now painted white. Nancy Reagan worked closely with Lenox designers to create a pattern with bands in a striking scarlet red, which was her favorite color. The pattern was bordered on each side with etched gold, which created a sparkling contrast with the soft ivory china. The presidential seal was in raised gold in the center, partially overlaying the red border. On pieces such as the service and dessert plates, fine gold crosshatching overlays the red.  The Reagans were often criticized for the $209,508 cost, but the china was not funded by taxpayers. It was paid for by the J.P. Knapp Foundation.

All through the Cold War, the White House maintained the tradition of Russian table service at its official luncheons and dinners. And now that the Russians have switched from threatening to bewildering, there is talk of abolishing Russian service.

Trust Miss Manners to discover the one political issue that excites no one except herself. But perhaps she can stir something up.The question is only whether food at formal meals should be offered around on platters, with guests taking what they want, or whether each guest should be handed a pre-filled plate, with some of everything on it. Who cares?

But we're talking about a republic. Surely we can turn this into an emotional debate with charges of elitism and the stifling of creativity on one side, and of throwing people out of work and wasting the earth's resources on the other.

Stereoscopic view of the White House State Dining Room tables set in the latter half of the 19th century.  The tables were long at the time.  Jacqueline Kennedy changed White House dining when she opted to make a switch to smaller, and more intimate, round tables during the Kennedy Administration.   They remain round to this day.

The teams are: Russian, French, American (known to the English as English) and Restaurant, listed in reverse order of probable popularity. But since people seem to feel so passionately about their food nowadays (which is why Miss Manners figured that restaurants would claim loyalty before any country), their respective positions - long since removed from any real national claims - should be examined.

All of these are types of formal service, in the modern sense of meaning that guests do not actually have to bus their own dishes. (The equivalent understanding of informal service probably involves keeping the refrigerator door open, and Miss Manners doesn't want to know the details.)

In French service, huge numbers of dishes are set out in symmetrical patterns on the dining table, guests being expected to help themselves and one another from what they find within reach. Standard until the late 19th century, this may be said to survive in today's buffet table. But how we evolved to being dumber than the Victorians, who realized how foolish it was to ask human beings to eat standing up, Miss Manners cannot say.

In Russian service, which replaced the French, food is arranged on platters that are taken around to the seated guests, who serve themselves. Leaving enough to go around depends on the honor system.

The success of a state dinner tends to hinge on a well-choreographed series of social gestures. Other than not fighting, the rules are common-sensical: For example, don't wear a pink pantsuit like the one Martha Stewart did during the official visit of the president of Hungary- to much derision at a state dinner in June 1999 - and never sit down until the president does.
"You stand in deference, you don't begin eating until everyone at the table is served, you talk to everybody," according to Letitia Baldrige,  the late etiquette expert who was social secretary to Jacqueline Kennedy. "And you never complain about the food."

In formal American service, the only formal service that still honors the noble and ancient ritual of personally carving for one's guests, the host or hostess carves the meat at the table after inquiring about the preferences of each guest. If the veggies are put on, too, and if everyone passes the plates down the table (and, if they are overly polite, all the way around and back again), it is "family style," but if servers do all that, it is formal.

In Restaurant service, which is to say at all except the truly best restaurants, food is "plated" in the kitchen, and each person is given some of everything. The commercial attraction is that this is the speediest service, which employs the fewest people.

Notice that this is the only formal service in which guests are not allowed to choose what they take (although in restaurants, they have already stated their preferences when they ordered).

You see where Miss Manners is leading. She is about to suggest that if the White House changes from Russian service to Restaurant (the French system being defunct and the American being impractical for big dinners, however comfy it would be to see the president carving), good food will be wasted.

And that guests may find things on their plates to which they have philosophical, medical or religious objections. And that worthy people with families to support may find themselves out of jobs.

Miss Manners really doesn't want to use those tedious arguments, any more than she wants to fight the even worse arguments that Russian service inhibits the creativity of chefs who would prefer to dribble sauces artistically on plates rather than on platters, or that it is elitist because the citizenry doesn't eat that way every day.

She prefers to argue that the mere continuing of a graceful tradition to distinguish special-occasion dining from more practical methods for everyday use is what is important. There is a vast difference between dignity and pretentiousness.

For Dining and Diplomacy; The Clinton White House's Tables for Queen Elizabeth II's visit. Gaffes in this setting are long remembered. For example, Jimmy Carter's 1979 state dinner for Mexican president, Jose Lopez Portillo. Carter shocked his guests with an indiscreet joke about getting "Montezuma's revenge" (a severe diarrhea) while visiting Mexico. And protocol can only go so far when so many ambitious people are going to be crammed into one room. Social secretaries of past administrations can recall movie stars refusing to give the Secret Service their actual birth dates for security clearances and guests who ran into the State Dining Room, attempting to change name cards for better schmoozing potential.

Dining at the White House has been steadily de-formalized over the past few administrations, until it is nearly comparable to eating in a fancy restaurant. Guests regularly bring dates, reply by telephone (or forget to reply and have to be called), dress for shock rather than decorum, or refuse the invitation altogether, if they have something better to do.

First-timers who consider it a command performance and strain to live up to it by polishing their conversation, their shoes and their manners soon find that the custom is to treat it casually.

And that the unflattering rationale is that anything nicer and more special would be wasted on ordinary citizens, who wouldn't know how to handle it.

The main article was originally published on June 14 1994, and was written by Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and “First Ladies”

or...

 Will the Real First Lady Please Stand Up?

Writers of etiquette books, and those in Washington society, were horrified in 1877 when journalist Mary C. Ames referred to Lucy Webb Hayes as “the First Lady of the Land”

SOCIAL ETIQUETTE AT WASHINGTON

The wife of the chief-justice, and not the wife of the President, is the first lady in the land, and takes precedence of all others. She holds receptions and receives calls, but she alone is excluded from all duty of returning calls.
 
The life of a lady in society at Washington is exceedingly onerous, and more especially so if she be the wife of any official. Next in rank comes the wife of the President.

SOCIAL DUTIES OF THE PRESIDENT

It is made the duty of the President to give several state dinners and official receptions during each session of Congress. Besides these, there are the general receptions, at which time the White House is open to the public and every citizen of the United States has a recognized right to pay his respects to the President.

PRESIDENTIAL RECEPTIONS

On the days of the regular " levees " the doors of the White House are thrown open, and the world is indiscriminately invited to enter them. No "court" dress is required to make one presentable at this republican court, but every one dresses according to his or her own means, taste or fancy. The fashionable carriage- or walking-dress is seen side by side with the uncouth homespun and homemade of the backwoodsman and his wife.

From "The Ladies' and Gentlemen's Etiquette- A Complete Manual of the Manners and Dress of American Society E. B. Duffey ~ 1877

DINING AT THE WHITE HOUSE

DURING THE HAYES ADMINISTRATION

 

Etiquette and Protocol

At these affairs, a balance between men and women was maintained. Upon arrival, guests gathered in the East Room where the gentleman received an envelope containing the name of his dinner partner. At 7:00 P.M., the President and First Lady appeared. They led a double procession from the Red Parlor into the dining room.

 

During Hayes’ term in office, state dinners were served a la Russe - in the Russian style of bringing prepared plates and bowls from a separate serving area. No food or serving dishes appeared on the table to detract from the elaborate centerpieces, candlesticks, etc. Because Lucy was fond of fresh flowers, bouquets from the White House Conservatory were prominent on the tables. Each guest chose between two offerings for each course. The multi-course dinners could last up to three hours. Following dinner, Lucy was fond of leading guests into the conservatory.

Dinner with the Hayes Family

The Hayeses entertained close to 400 guests at formal and informal dinners during their four years at the White House. Cabinet members, politicians - friend and foe alike - intellectuals, literary figures, and military officers were frequent guests. Fellow Ohioans, Congressmen William McKinley and James A Garfield, were the Hayeses most frequent guests. Future president William McKinley, Hayes’ close friend and Civil War comrade, attended dinner 17 times while Garfield enjoyed dinner at the White House eleven times

.

Even though the First Lady had the social obligations of her "office," she had no hired staff. Lucy Webb Hayes invited nieces, cousins, and the daughters of friends to stay at the White House. The young ladies assisted as hostesses, attending state dinners, Lucy’s Tuesday evening levees, and Saturday receptions. Everyone benefited from the arrangement: Lucy had help with her entertaining, and the young ladies enjoyed Washington society. The letters of Lucy Scott West, penned during her stay at the White House, offer a rare, first-hand glimpse into White House social events during the Hayes Administration.

From The Rutherford B. Hayes Presidential Center

Lucy Webb Hayes was a popular hostess in Washington D.C. ; “Mrs. Hayes, on one of her tours with her husband, was asked if she did not get tired of seeing so many people and going so much, and she replied: ‘Oh, no; I never get tired of having a good time.’”—  Laura Carter Holloway

The following is a newspaper account of a luncheon held by Mrs. Hayes for fifty young ladies: 

Mrs. Hayes Lunch Party
State Dining Room in the White House
(Extracts from Philadelphia Times)

The young ladies visiting Mrs. Hayes, Miss Morgan of New York; Miss Mills of San Francisco; Miss Russell of New York; Miss Scott of New Orleans; Miss Devens of Boston; and Miss Herron of Cincinnati, have had much done for their entertainment during their visit. To day Mrs. Hayes gave a lunch party in their honor at 2 P.M. In the state dining room. Over fifty young ladies were present, and no married lady except Mrs. Hayes. In addition to the guests staying in the house, there was Chief Justice Waite's daughter; Justice Harlan's daughter and her friend, Miss Butler, Justice Bradley's daughter; Justice Miller's daughter, Ex-Justice Strong's daughter; Miss Lucy Work, who is a guest of Judge Swayne's family; the daughters of of Senators Carpenter, Bayard, Kernan, Pendleton, Randolph, Bailey, Edmonds and Vorhees, Speaker Randall's daughter, General Le Duc's daughter, Admiral Porter's daughter, Surgeon General Barnes' daughter, General Sherman's youngest daughter, two of Secretary Evart's daughters, Secretary Shurze's two daughters, British Ministers two daughters, the daughters of the Chilean, Spanish and Portuguese Ministers; Miss de Chambrun, the great-grand-daughter of General Lafayette; Miss Devans, the Attorney General's niece; Miss Bartlett, the daughter of the Secretary of the Chinese Legation; Miss Davenport and Miss Scovil, the guests of Representative Claflin s wife; the daughters of Representatives Loring and Norcross of Massachusetts; Miss Freeman, daughter of the late Colonel Freeman, whose family are so well known in Pennsylvania; Miss McCulloch the daughter of the Ex- Secretary of the Treasury; Professor Baird's daughter; Miss Scott, whose father is stationed at the Arsenal; Miss Pattison, whose father is in command at the Washington Navy Yard; Miss Stone, the sister in-law of Assistant Secretary of State John Hay, and her friend Miss Mather; Miss Haymaker, the guest of Mrs. Senator Nathan P. Hill of Colorado; and Miss Taylor; Miss Porter of this city.

As the State dining table seats only from thirty six to forty, it was extended by long tables reaching nearly across the room place that right angles with it at each end. Mrs. Hayes sat at the end of the room, and it the other opposite and Miss Russell of New York. The other young ladies staying in the house were dispersed among the guests. No gentleman were present. The table was exquisitely adorned with flowers and dishes of fresh and candied fruits, candelabra, etc. Potted plants were also grouped about the room. The plants and ferns in the conservatory were seen to great advantage through the long windows. A photograph was taken off the table, by Jarvis, the Washington View Photographer. The dinner cards were perfectly plain, square, white cards, with a silver edge and the coat-of-arms of the United States upon them. From the list of guests it will be noticed that nearly all the classes of officials ever seen in Washington society were represented- the Supreme Court, both Houses of Congress, the Cabinet and Diplomatic Corps, and also some private citizens. –Miss Grundy

A White House Wedding... President and First Lady Nixon in the recessional of the 1971 wedding of Tricia Nixon and Edward Cox

“I applaud the wives of our Presidents. They do wonderful work for the people of our country. They are to be commended for simply helping their spouses through the grueling hours and painful intrusions into their most private lives. However, the First Lady (an honorary title, by the way) was always the spouse of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, as those on the Supreme Court have their jobs until they die, or retire, if they so choose. They are the only such lifetime jobs our government offers. The Presidency was, and still is, simply a “temp job.”

Writers of etiquette books, and those in Washington society, were horrified in 1877 when journalist Mary C. Ames referred to Lucy Webb Hayes as “the First Lady of the Land.” Prior to Ms. Ames pilfering the “First Lady” title for her article, no references to wives of the President were anything but just that; The wife of the President. Aside from the fact that Washingtonian etiquette prescribed the social duties involved in being a First Lady at that time, and the Supreme Court Justices wives took their duties very seriously, many wives of Presidents were not all too happy that their husbands were running for the office. Some wives were very content to stay in their homes, close by to their friends, and they did not wish to pull up stakes for a move to Washington.

Take Anna Harrison for example. She was 66 years old when her husband William Henry Harrison was elected President. She loved her home was not too keen on moving. She had bore many children, and six had died over the years prior to her husband winning the Presidency. She had no political or social agenda, or desires. She is often quoted as saying, "I wish that my husband's friends had left him where he is, happy and contented in retirement." She skipped the festivities in Washington after her husband's win, and decided to wait until after his inauguration to move to Washington. She missed his record breaking inaugural speech in the freezing Washington air. Six weeks into his term, Harrison died from pneumonia and pleurisy. Anna received the news as she was packing to move to Washington D.C."
-From Etiquipedia Site Editor, Maura Graber, Etiquette Sleuth

On official rank ~ “The President's wife, however, holds a position only second in importance: the wife of the Chief-Justice of the Supreme Court is the First Lady in rank.”  —    From “Our Manners at Home and Abroad: A Complete Manual on the Manners, Customs, and Social Forms of the Best American Society... Compiled from the Leading and Most Reliable Modern Authorities” 1881

“The closing months of President Hayes’ administration were marked by national good feeling and cordiality, and the social life of the White House was most brilliant. Dinner parties and invitation receptions followed each other in rapid succession, and the guests that were entertained there were great in numbers. The extent of her hospitality was estimated by ladies whose husbands had official relations with the President, and who by right of their positions were often at the White House entertainments, as being greater than any other hostess who had preceded her in her high position. She never gave a dinner or an evening party that was not on a scale of elegance compatible with her position, and hence only praise can be said of her administration.” 
—From “The Ladies of the White House, Or, In the Home of the Presidents: Being a Complete History of the Social and Domestic Lives of the Presidents from Washington to the Present Time” By Laura Carter Holloway, 1881 

Though “POTUS” had been used since the Johnson administration, it is believed Nancy Reagan was the first to be referred to as “FLOTUS”

Secret Service agents were reported to have picked up the term in everyday use during the Reagan years, and added a dimension: “To their Secret Service shadows they may be ‘Potus’ and ‘Flotus,’” wrote Donnie Radcliffe in The Washington Post in a 1983 citation, the first use in the Nexis database. Flotus (pronounced FLOW-tus, to rhyme with Potus, and not FLOT-tus) is “First Lady of the United States,” an informal designation first applied to Mary Todd Lincoln that has become a quasiofficial title. –From “On Language; Potus And Flotus” By William Safire, 1997

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia