Emily Post on Finger Bowl Doilies

Originally, the word “doily” referred to as small napkin or decorative “piece of linen.” The word doily, also originally “doyley” was first used in 1711. Over the decades, doily has come to mean a small, lacy, decorative mat or crocheted piece of lace for finger bowls or desserts to be placed on. – “ Finger-bowls and doylies are brought in on the dessert-plates. Each person at once removes the bowl and doyley to make ready for whatever is to be put on the plate.” – From the Etiquette of Gilded Age Dinners and Service

Don't Dirty a Doily

Dear Mrs. Post: When the finger bowl is brought to the table on the dessert plate, on which is a lace doily, how does one remove the finger bowl to the table, and where is it put? Is the doily removed with it, or is dessert put on the doily?

Answer: The doily should be lifted off with the finger bowl and both put down at your place wherever there is room. On no account put anything eatable on top of a lace doily.

Emily Post, in “Good Taste Today,” 1937 

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Confusion Over Finger Bowl Doily Use

By 1934, doilies had possibly fallen out of fashion in some circles, but they were certainly still used in many homes as part of the “finger bowl ballet.” It’s possible that this woman writing to Mrs. Post believed that the doily’s intended use was to wipe the fingers, when it is merely to sit under the finger bowl, whether on the plate or above the place setting, to the upper left of the dessert plate.

Dear Mrs. Post: While dining in the house of a stranger the other night I noticed that her waitress brought in a dessert plate with a fine lace doily on it and on top of that, a finger bowl. The silver for dessert was already at the places. I had never had a finger bowl brought in just this way. My hostess removed it and the doily from the dessert plate and put the bowl down on the doily at the left to the back of the dessert plate. The dessert was a rich fudge cake, which would have soiled the doily miserably. Is it correct to let a doily take the place of a plate which matches the finger bowl and which stands on top of the dessert plate usually without any doily between them?

Answer: I don't think I understand your question. I don't see how the cake could possibly come in contact with the doily. Doilies are not often used, but when they are, you pick yours up with the finger bowl and put both down together on the tablecloth where there is space. Then you whatever the dessert may be is put on the plate. You certainly would not put food on the doily, ever! — By Emily Post, 1934

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia