“Setting the Stage” for Dining

“Although I do believe that for formal table settings it is best to keep more or less to one period, with experience it is possible, and often exciting, to combine periods in such ways that the new will complement the older pieces.”— Above is a mid-20th century modern setting using pieces from the 1940’s mixed with updated elements from the 1960’s and 1970’s.

A table should be well balanced. A pretty table also depends upon everything’s being in proper proportion. A large table can look silly with a lot of small pieces dotted around. If your service requires many small extra dishes, keep them grouped on a suitable serving tray. In your centerpiece, too, color and flower forms should be grouped to create the “weight” that is necessary. In this respect, remember that some colors and textures appear heavier than others. For instance, warm colors like red and yellow are strong, advancing colors, while blue and white are cool, receding colors.

Napkins must be folded with care and placed properly so that the general effect is one of tidiness. It is always imperative to have impeccable napery, whether you use a cloth or mats or runners. If plastic is substituted for linen, as it might well be for breakfast and casual meals (but never for formal ones), it must be checked before every meal for clean liness. Cleanliness is closely allied to beauty; a pretty table, like a pretty face, depends on soap and water. This machine age saves us much effort but we still have the final responsibility of seeing that our linen is spotless and that the china, glassware, and silver sparkle.

A table placed near a window, where a colorful garden or other charming view can be seen, is, of course, very pleasant. However, the art of interior decorating offers so much. that no matter what the setting is, no dining room need be drab and unattractive. It is a great blessing today that we are no longer bound by rigid notions of what is proper in the way of furnishing or color schemes. Within the limits of good taste you can do exactly as you like and make the most of even the most unpromising situations. Although I do believe that for formal table settings it is best to keep more or less to one period, with experience it is possible, and often exciting, to combine periods in such ways that the new will complement the older pieces.

Setting a pretty dinner table is one of the most rewarding activities in the daily round of family life. The table is the “theater,” or at least the “stage,” for a nightly performance that can be as entertaining as any show on Broadway or London’s West End. We should be just as eager to entertain the members of our family as we are to entertain any honored guest. Sincere compliments should flow from one to the other, for gratitude is the key to many a happy hour where warm words heal, just as much as good food. This important time of coming together for refreshment surely is the greatest opportunity to add beauty, laughter, consideration, and relaxation to our day so that everyone feels better for this experience.— Patricia Easterbrook Roberts, 1960

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Butler Measuring Stick Etiquette for Place Settings

 An Antique Butler’s Measuring Stick

What Have We Here? A 19th Century butler’s measuring stick. — The “24-inch rule” is one of the first rules of formal place settings. These 2 feet refer to the ideal amount of space from the centre of one plate to the cen- tre of the next plate, allowing the place settings to have numerous pieces of flatware and stemware for the dinner, along with plenty of elbow room or body space for each guest. Butlers’ measuring sticks were necessary in the Gilded Age and Edwardian Era, for measuring settings for multi course dinners. Everything had to be aligned properly. The best rulers were those like this, which could fold up very small and fit into the butler’s or footman’s pocket.

A footman in the movie Gosford Park (shown to the left of the setting) using a similar folding measuring stick for setting the long dining table in preparation for a formal dinner.

The flatware for any vertical utensils (the salad fork, dinner fork, knife, and soup spoon, cocktail fork, etc...) should be spaced a half an inch or so away from each other, and the bottoms of each utensil should be aligned with the bottom of the service plate, place plate or charger. The flatware placed horizontally above the plate for dessert can be a bit closer or farther from one another, unless it encroaches on stemware or anything in the center of the table. Note: The soup spoon is upside down in the French fashion of placing spoons and forks upside down on the table. French flatware is monogrammed on the reverse side, whereas American monograms are usually found on the front of flatware handles.

From the new book, “What Have We Here?”: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond... by Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia Site Editor, Maura Graber

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia