Dance Etiquette vs Cultural Customs

“In Mexico it was a serious breach of etiquette for a woman to refuse a dance and then allow another man to have the same dance.” In the United States, it has actually always been considered ill-mannered to refuse a man a dance when asked politely, then to go on to dance with another gentleman who was not already written in on your dance card. Presumably, this was the reason for the popularity of the dance card and for dance cards filling up so quickly at the beginning of an evening. Gentlemen would ask for certain dances and their names would be written on the line for that particular numbered dance. A young woman’s escort or date to the dance was noted by an X on the lines for the particular dances promised to him.–   Public domain image of “Lolita & Juan” on a postcard.

RESENTS “QUEER” U.S. CUSTOMS AND LANDS IN JAIL

Ignacio Martinez. 21, Mexican, can’t understand American customs. Because his wife refused to dance with him a second time on Saturday night at a dance held by Mexicans in El Centro, and because she then accepted the dance with another man, Ignacio objected. He made such a disturbance that a city police officer was summoned and the young husband was placed under arrest. He was fined $30.00 in police court this morning. Failing to raise the money be was taken to the county jail to begin a 15 day term. 

Ignacio said that in Mexico it was a serious breach of etiquette for a woman to refuse a dance and then allow another man to have the same dance. Martinez was recently arrested on a charge of wife abandonment, but when he agreed to provide a home for his wife and to support her, he was released. The two are said to have separated again since then. – Imperial Valley Press, 1924

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1950’s School Dance Etiquette

Might as well teach them early that when they take a girl to a party they have to look out for her.– 1950’s school dance. 

 – Image source Etiquipedia personal library.

Teach Early Social Etiquette

“Do I dance with Janie all the time?” asked a junior high schooler getting ready to go to his first dance. His mother explained he must dance the first and last dances with the girl he was taking to the party and a few others in between. But she assured him he could dance with other girls, too, just so he was sure Janie had someone to dance with. Might as well teach them early that when they take a girl to a party they have to look out for her. – San Bernardino Sun, 1953

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Dance Programs

Mrs. Chester Adams requests her friends to bring to her their Social Problems and Perplexities by letter at any time

Dear Mrs Adams,

Will you kindly tell me if it is proper for a hostess to provide programs when giving a large dance? What kind should they be, and when should they be given out? —A Reader


Dance programs are still very much in vogue for large entertainments, and either a card with gilt edges or a small sheet of bristol board, folded once, is provided, and also a small pencil, attached to the card or sheet by a silk cord or ribbon. They either are placed in the dressing rooms, convenient to the guests to help themselves, or they are offered by a servant from a silver tray as the guests enter the ballroom. — Los Angeles Herald, 1911

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia