“Baby Kissing” Etiquette

Kissing other people’s babies seems to have been a late-Victorian / Gilded Age fad in many social circles, based on the articles we continue to find in news archives. But not everyone was inclined to kiss somebody else’s baby, even if it was the expected thing to do: “Anti-kissing societies grow and multiply in the land, and for this the babes have the greatest reason to be thankful. It is at last a breach of etiquette to offer a babe the unpleasant compliment of a kiss...” – 1895

Q. “Charlie” anxiously enquires: “Is it impolite to refuse to kiss a two months’ old baby; it is a female?” 

A. Not exactly impolite, but very impudent ; especially if the invitation comes from the mother. But your expression “it is a female” is a saving clause. Did you ever kiss a little female “it,” Charlie? No? then try it and you won’t find it such a hardship as you think.  

Of course add about eighteen years to a “two months’ old female baby,” and you have something heavenly; but you can’t always perform this addition—we know we never have been able to, though we love mathematics—and the next best thing is to take what you can get. Half a loaf is better than no loaf, provided it is fresh; and what is fresher than a dear little girl baby; yum yum. Try it, Charlie, and write us what vou think about it. — Placer Herald, 1889

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Awfully Charming Gilded Age Slang

A very “pooty” gown on the cover of the March 1893 Delineator Magazine — “Pretty is no longer pretty, but ‘pooty.’ V., the famous man milliner, has caught the trick from his Duchess customers. You hear him talk glibly of ‘pooty gowns’ and ‘pooty tails.’ ‘Gorgeous’ or ‘deadly’ are the correct adjectives to use when speaking of the weather. Nowadays it is quite customary for educated people to talk of ‘the Dook.’”

How Fashionable People Talk

There are fashions in speech as well as fashions in clothes. Everything in society just now is either “awfully ghastly” or “awfully charming, don’t you know.” If your new bonnet isn't awfully ghastly it must be awfully charming; and if Miss Fourstars’ singing at the local concert the other evening wasn't awfully charming, then it must certainly have been awfully ghastly. Pretty is no longer pretty, but “pooty.” 

V., the famous man milliner, has caught the trick from his Duchess customers. You hear him talk glibly of “pooty” gowns and “pooty” tails. “Gorgeous” or “deadly” are the correct adjectives to use when speaking of the weather. Nowadays it is quite customary for educated people to talk of “the Dook.” In quite aristocratic circles the final “G” is dropped in many words. They talk of killin,’ shootin,’ talkin,’ singing.’ 

I suppose the next thing we shall hear will be that they have ceased to aspirate their “H’s” for the excellent reason that it has become so common for ordinary folks to do so. But, after all, these examples of affectation, ridiculous though they sound, are not quite so bad as the mincing style of affectation fashionable in days gone by. Mincing is now chiefly confined to old maids or young girls under 20. Other folks don't seem to get me for it. In these days of push “side,” teens to go further than mincing manners. — Pall Mall Budget, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Baffling Etiquette Starts 1919 Fad

The new fad has come as a bright light of hope to the thousands of people whose formal dinner parties have too often been ruined by the use of the wrong fork or spoon. It is welcomed by the mere man who presides at less formal affairs and is afraid to meet his wife’s eyes for fear that he is serving potatoes with a tomato spoon or asparagus with a pie fork. Indeed—many problems have been solved by the fad. 

New System For Dinners? A Boon for Guests? Come Out Even at the Finish with this New Fad!
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You Can’t Use the Wrong Fork — New Fad Decrees Hostess Shall Bring Forth Proper Implement with Each Course

Here’s help at last for the poor dinner guest who always comes up at the end of the courses with one fork too many or a spoon too few. Here’s relief from those who cross-examine in the art of eating in attempts to sell “Which Fork and When” in 12 volumes with easy illustrations. It is one of society’s latest fads. Dame Grundy has decreed: That henceforth dinner tables shall be set with linen and china —but with no silver; that there shall be no puzzle for the guests—there shall be no silver to choose from. That each individual piece of silver will be brought to the diners with the dish to which it belongs. 

The movement is not just for the relief of the helpless guest, but it is the latest thing in society. The smartest dinners of late were served without a sign of silver on the table when the guests were seated. Already where Dame Grundy reigns supreme, it is considered without style to set dinner tables with silver. The new fad has come as a bright light of hope to the thousands of people whose formal dinner parties have too often been ruined by the use of the wrong fork or spoon. It is welcomed by the mere man who presides at less formal affairs and is afraid to meet his wife’s eyes for fear that he is serving potatoes with a tomato spoon or asparagus with a pie fork. Indeed—many problems have been solved by the fad. 

Dame Grundy has remembered the dinner guest who, many a time, has complimented herself upon her artful eating and then finds at the end of the courses that she has overlooked a puzzler of a funny looking spoon. There is consideration also for those fair diners who habitually pause for the hostess to single out and lead-off with the right fork, and of course, must sip much un-wanted water. No longer will the diner have to solve the what, why, where, when and how of the foreign-looking thing which is half-fork and half jelly spoon. No longer will the guest have cause to slip a valuable piece of silver into an inner pocket and carry it away just because he picked it up, discovered his mistake, and could not get rid of it any other way. 

The timid diner can now draw a deep breath of relief, for henceforth when peas are served they will be accompanied by the “one and only” designed for the consumption of peas. It is predicted in society circles that dinner parties will become more popular under the new silverless regime. At any rate the fad has come and guests are no longer startled on entering the dining room and finding nothing but fingers to eat with.—Fresno Herald, 1919

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Mustache Etiquette and Facial Fads

“There is no worthier accomplishment for a man with a moustache than to take soup in an inoffensive manner… and by no means should the moustache be used to strain the soup.” –Cornelia Dobbs’ 1908 book, Guide to Manners

Is Clean Shaven Man Losing His Popularity? – Smooth Face Fad Growing in Disfavor Abroad —————————————————

London Women Admit That They Prefer to Be Kissed by Wearers of a Mustache — “Dear Man” With Mustache and a Tickle Popular

LONDON, July. 7.— Is woman’s admiration for the man with the clean shaven face waning? Many men and women In London say it is, and a revival of the mustache is promised. A well-known woman writer of fiction confesses to liking the mustache. She says: “To speak quite truthfully, I do not like beards; upon that point I am firm. But whether a mustache is or is not an ornament, I am not quite certain. Men in pictures and men on the stage look best with clean shaven faces and I like my hero in fiction to possess clear-cut features, a hairless chin and an unshaven lip. If he were described as plump and bearded I should detest him. But a mustached husband I could ask for half a dozen hats at a time, whereas the stern set mouth of the clean shaven one, pursed up to utter a rigid ‘No,’ before my words were fairly uttered, would, I am certain, terrorize me into meekly suggesting one.

“I asked my dearest girl friend to arbitrate upon this important question and her ready reply leads me to fancy that she favors the mustache. Says she: “‘A dear man almost kissed me once. It was in Aunt Gwendolyn's conservatory and if Aunt G. had not at that moment seen fit to whisk out of the drawing-room almost into our united arms. I should have been able to state with decision whether I prefer the kisses of the smooth lipped man, or those of one of the mustached persuasion. The brushing of this man’s mustache upon my cheek I thought distinctly pleasant; it seemed to promise something different from the ordinary experience.

‘Kipling somewhere says, or makes a young girl say: “To be kissed by a man without a mustache is like eating an egg without salt.” I think, so far as my experience has gone, that I am in agreement with this opinion. After all, you see, one does not expect a man's kiss to be just like a woman’s. Army men, I opine, owe some of the popularity they enjoy among my sex to the mustaches they wear. Who would not rather be taken out on the river by a young lieutenant than a briefless barrister, whose academic honors are too deeply written on his hairless face? The young lieutenant is a figure of romance, with all the charm and virility of the grown up, though still juvenile, cavalier, whereas the boy barrister is an absurd example, an old head on young shoulders, weighed down with responsibilities and cares.

“But when a man has left the golden age of extreme youth, then, I fancy, he looks handsomer and younger unshaven. That is because so many men wear mustuches for their health’s sake, when they are over 60, ugly, grizzled, straggly mustaches, which they declare filter the air, or keep them from catching cold (a frequent excuse for that abomination, the long beard), or do something else wise, but not picturesque; perchance conceal a weak mouth or unbeautiful teeth, or lessen the apparent measurement of an over important nose.” – Special Cable to The Herald, 1906

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Walking Stick Etiquette

Some walking sticks are dashed backward and forward like lethal bayonets! So never mind if he growls; you are acting in the interests of etiquette and sound citizenship.

Canes and Sound Citizenship

Walking sticks are "In" with a greater virulence than has prevailed since the year 1898, says the London Chronicle. The West End began it with silver-topped and gold-topped ebonies (same as used by the King), and the East has taken up the tale with cherry crooks that also have metal embellishments. In the Fleet Street-Strand Monkey Crawl of promenaders, nine out of every ten male promenaders had sticks, whereas a few years back the crowd was almost stickless. 

The sticks, it may be added, are a menace, so few people having studied the art of carrying them. They are carried at dangerous angles below the armpit; also they are dashed backward and forward like lethal bayonets. When you come upon a man carrying a stick that projects from his armpit upward behind him, turn it down. Never mind if he growls; you are acting in the interests of etiquette and sound citizenship. — 1914

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia