1951’s “New” Entertaining Manners

Do you end up, after the company is gone, leaning on the kitchen sink and shuddering at the thought of guests? Well, there's a new and smart way out. It's called the New Etiquette. Based sensibly on the fact that few 1951 homes have maids, it sees to it that the hostess enjoys her own parties. The main requirements are the New Style Hostess (or Host) and the New Style Guest. Both should cut down work.

Spare Your Hostess!

..that will make it fun for everyone 

DO YOU TRY to live in 1951 and keep up 1891 table etiquette?

Are you still trying to entertain the way Grandma did? Still trotting out all the family silver and china, the fussy meals and the millionaire manners?

But suppose you don't have Grandma's leisure or “a girl to come in and help.” Do you end up, after the company is gone, leaning on the kitchen sink and shuddering at the thought of guests?

Well, there's a new and smart way out. It's called the New Etiquette. Based sensibly on the fact that few 1951 homes have maids, it sees to it that the hostess enjoys her own parties.

The main requirements are the New Style Hostess (or Host) and the New Style Guest. Both should cut down work.

The keynotes are (1) dishes that can be thrown away, in- stead of cleaned, (2) food that needs less silverware, (3) table arrangements that let guests share with the serving, and (4) clean-up co-operation that lets all join in and have fun.

The New Etiquette is shown at work in the breakfast setting above. Please note that (1) Except for the coffee cups (without saucers), it uses new, non-tasting, plastie-lined paper plates and cups. (2) All food is presented in original containers, or in the cooking utensils. (3) All foods are grouped conveniently. (4) The paper napkins and easily sponged plastic cloth need not be laundered. Hosts and guests are on their own. Wash-up time will be a matter of seconds, not minutes.

Once you get the idea, the New Etiquette is simplicity itself. Here are some 'important pointers:

LUNCH, DINNER: Think of your menu in terms of the easiest service, with the main course served in one unit. Stews or cas- seroles are ideal. Roasts, steaks, and chops can be served on the same platter as the vegetables. Avoid putting silver-ware where it is not needed. With a little planning, the 82 pieces of silver and china often used to serve four people can be cut to 35. If you have one, carry everything in on a tea-wagon.

COCKTAIL PARTIES: Don't make the canapés, or beyond the first round, mix the drinks yourself. Arrange the makings for canapés and let guests help themselves. Bring liquor, ice, mixes, bar tools into the living room.

PICNICS: Let the guests dream up, and make, their own sandwiches. Take bread, butter, meats, cheeses, hard-boiled eggs, tomatoes, cucumbers, celery and lettuce.

MANNERS FOR GUESTS: Especially on week-ends, remember that your hosts are not your servants. Make your own bed, Pitch in and help with the rest of the work. They'll be glad to have you back!

MANNERS FOR HOSTS: If you expect guests to help with the work, keep it to a minimum and make it easy. For clean-up after meals, label your kitchen shelves so that they'll know where things belong. - By Russell Wright, Co-author with Mary Wright of "Easier Living" Simon & Schuster

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Post Prohibition Cocktail Party Etiquette

“Jause” al Fresco?— In Vienna, it’s usually a cold snack, or a cold meal, served in between the standard breakfast, lunch and dinner. A charcuterie board or cheese, fruits and nuts with wine will qualify, as will even cake and coffee.

Gay, Informal Games, and Food to Go With Them for Cocktail Hour

HOMES at 4 o'clock pause in the day’s occupation that is known in America as the “cocktail hour.” In England it is known as “tea.” In gay Vienna, by the Danube, it is called the "jause."

Since the repeal of Prohibition the cocktail hour has become a feature of American social life and an afternoon institution of the smart hotel and club. And with the Christmas holidays upon us this hour should be one that promotes happiness and good cheer more than any other. This is one time that you can throw your doors open wide to your friends and neighbors.

Questions regarding the etiquette of this new entertaining form are often received: For example, how long is the cocktail party, what is the correct dress, the proper hour to arrive, the right thing to serve?

Cocktail time is between the hours, of 4 and 6, or 5 and 7. Guests come and leave as at a tea, when they please. The cocktail hour is more apt to extend late into the evening if the guests begin to enjoy themselves thoroughly.

No entertainment but conversation and congenial company is provided, and one is expected to go on for dinner somewhere else. However, the host or hostess can start a few games.

ALTRUISM

Each one is asked to write down a stunt that anyone can do. These stunts are collected, mixed up and then passed around. Each person is then “ordered” to do the stunt written out on the slip of paper given him. Oh, boy! Some fun!

STAR WITNESS

A few of the guests, not more than four or five, get together and plan a short and exciting murder case. Although the case is only outlined. it must be complete and provide such details as names, type of weapon used, the address, habits, and appearance of the principal participants.

The conspirators return to the rest of the guests and act out the murder scene they have concocted. The acting must not take more than five minutes and may be done in less.

When the acting of the crime is over, a list of questions which are prepared by the conspirators is read off to the other guests who have just viewed the enactment of the crime. The guests are given pencil and paper and without talking to each other must write down their impressions of the true answers and sign their names at the bottom.

Questions that may be asked are: What did the murderer say just before he committed the crime? Was there a girl involved?

What caused the murder?

There are the kind of questions that test the observation of the “witnesses.” The actual questions will depend on the crime enacted.

BLOWN EGG OR THE EMPTY LUNG

Prior to the arrival of your guests take a raw egg, puncture a hole in each end with a pin and then blow through one of the holes until all of the inside of the egg has been blown out through the other hole, Caution must be taken to see that the skin inside the shell is well punctured; otherwise the egg won't empty. This empty egg-shell is your equipment.

Mark off the table exactly in half. Half of the players may be arranged around one side of the table and the other half on the other. All players must be on their knees so that their mouths are even with the top of the table. Now place the egg-shell in the center of the table.

At a given signal, everyone starts to blow. The object is to get the egg off one side of the table or other, by blowing it over the edge. Each time the egg-shell goes over the edge, it scores a point for the side opposing.

DISTRICT ATTORNEY

Everyone is a judge in this game. Divide the guests into two sides. Form them into two rows facing each other. Now the host or hostess announces he is the "District Attorney" and may ask anyone any question that occurs to him. He now starts to pace up and down between the rows.

He stops wherever he wishes and asks someone a question. However, the one he addresses is not the one who must answer— it is the one directly opposite.

The object is for the District Attorney to make the person to whom he speaks answer his questions or to catch the one who should answer it, off guard.

If the person spoken to by the District Attorney answers the question put to him, or if the person opposite who should answer fails to do so promptly, the one who misses must become District Attorney. The District Attorney takes the player's seat.

If the person spoken to by the District Attorney answers the question put to him, or if the person opposite who should answer fails to do so promptly, the one who misses must become District Attorney. The District Attorney takes the player's seat.

These games are especially good if the group is not well-acquainted. The only type of food served with cocktails is canapés, chilled crisp and provided in great variety.

There is no need to dress for this informal cocktail hour. Guests arrive from playing bridge, golf, tennis, shopping or from the office. Street clothes are proper even for the hostess, although the picturesque, floor-sweeping hostess gown makes her that much more charming.

A suggested few appetizers for the successful cocktail party:

When gin or vermouth is used in the cocktails, an excellent hors d'ouevre is Melba toast spread with relish. Canapé spreads are sardine and egg: pineapple and chicken, crabmeat and onion; minced ham and egg: deviled ham and mushrooms; fresh shrimp with mayonnaise: parsley and capers; Roquefort and cream cheese; boned anchovies with sliced hard-cooked eggs.

All is not the high priced pate de foie gras that seems to be. A harmless way of deceiving your guests is with “mock pate de foie gras” canapés. Use the finest knife of your meat chopper and grind a cup of boiled calves liver and a quarter-cup of cooked mushrooms. Combine with three tablespoons of mayonnaise and salt and pepper to taste. Blend thoroughly and spread on canape biscuits. Serve these sophisticated tid-bits with slices of lemon. — Clipping from unknown newspaper Source, 1933 or 1934

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Cocktail Party Etiquette Tips

Cocktail parties were popular throughout most of the 20th century. They are a fun way to entertain without serving a sit-down dinner.– “At a small casual party for intimate friends the host or a man friend usually mixes the drinks. The food is customarily limited to snacks, dips, and appetizers which can be handled without messing the fingers. These are passed by the hostess at the beginning of the party and then placed conveniently for guests to help themselves.”
Photo source, Pinterest

The cocktail party has several advantages, for both the hostess and the guest. It is in formal, it normally has a time limit, and people can circulate and talk to the friends they most want to talk to, and many more guests can be accommodated than at a buffet or seated meal. At a small casual party for intimate friends the host or a man friend usually mixes the drinks. The food is customarily limited to snacks, dips, and appetizers which can be handled without messing the fingers. These are passed by the hostess at the beginning of the party and then placed conveniently for guests to help themselves.

For the larger party comprising people who may not know others, the host and hostess have to play a more active part; it is advisable, therefore, to have help at the bar if possible, and in the kitchen, too, if hot hors d'oeuvres are planned. The food, small in portion, should never be sweet; usually it is highly seasoned or is made up of such items as anchovies, sharp cheese, and olives. Good drinks, good food, compatible company, and sufficient room to circulate are the requisites for a good cocktail party.

For the really large affair, held when the main meal is eaten in the middle of the day and the guests may be coming some distance, a buffet is necessary. The menu can be simple, but hearty enough to substitute for a meal, with food that will keep fresh over the period of the party. A well-balanced plan would include one or more hot dishes, as well as cold meats, cheeses, relishes, a spread, and a variety of food that can be eaten with the fingers.

COCKTAIL PARTY CHECKLIST

INVITATIONS— 

Mail or phone. The time is usually somewhere between 5 and 8 P.M. up less it is a come-when-you-can and stay-as-long-as-you-like buffet plan.

MUSIC— 

Some find this helpful as a background, particularly at the beginning of a party, but many people find it disturbing. Ashtrays should be large and plentiful. If arrangements can be made to have them emptied regularly, so much the better. For tables that do not have an alcohol-proof finish, a liberal supply of coasters should be available. Place small tables next to chairs so that guests can sit down with their drinks.

GLASSES— 

It is good to have on hand twice as many as your guest list. 

ICE CUBES– Start freezing these at least a day ahead, to fill ice buckets, or else buy the cubes in quantity. Use only fresh ice for old ice absorbs tastes and odors.

FOOD— 

Many foods can be prepared well ahead and sealed in airtight wrapping for the refrigerator or freezer.

NAPKINS, SERVIETTES, AND HAND TOWELS— 

Have plenty of the gay paper cocktail napkins on the food and drink tables and an extra supply in reserve. Hand towels of soft absorbent paper, which seem to be preferred to dainty linen ones, should be well supplied in all bathrooms and powder rooms.

COCKTAILS— 

Follow a tested recipe and use a jigger for measuring, unless you are an expert guesser. Stir, rather than shake, all drinks made with clear liquors, such as Martinis or Manhattans. Martinis can be made somewhat in advance and placed in a refrigerator. The ice is added later so that the cocktail is not diluted. Shake all cocktails that contain ingredients which are harder to blend, like Daiquiris, Bloody Marys, and whisky sours. Pre-chill the glasses – this makes a big difference. Use lots of ice – but never twice. There is nothing worse than a lukewarm drink that was meant to be cold. For drinks like a Tom Collins, as a rule, sugar, fruit juice, and ice are put in the glass first, and then liquor is added. For a carbonated drink, like a gin and tonic, add ice, liquor, then the mix.

For those who do not like cocktails there are many alternatives, besides the traditional serving of whisky or sherry. Punch and eggnog are two favorites, and if you do not have your own recipes for these, any good liquor or wine shop will provide you with them. You might try a “cheese and wine” party, or make this a part of a cocktail party. Cheeses should be eaten with the fingers or with the aid of toothpicks. 

The food, with plates and napkins, and the cocktail equipment, can be set on one table. But it is better to have the bar set up on a separate table with plenty of room for service, as guests usually like to drink for a while before eating. If you have a barman, he can take orders and serve everything from the kitchen or pantry. Coffee should be ready in the kitchen, since it may be needed later in the evening.— From “Table Settings, Entertaining and Etiquette,” by Patricia Easterbrook, 1960

🍽 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Cocktail Parties

 Be the Best Cocktail Party Guest

A cocktail party is the classic social gathering.  At what other time, in a single location, is it plausible to find a sparkle of romance, business deals made, and social standing elevated - or plummeted?

But no matter the goings on, there is always one constant:  the level of decorum expected from each guest.

It begins with your arrival.  Since cocktail hour isn't a sit-down affair, it is fine to arrive after it begins, but never early.  A host is usually fine-tuning food, drinks, and set-up well into the last minute.  Your early arrival will only escalate the frenzy.

Remember Your Limit

Just because it's a party doesn't mean you can totally cut loose.  Know your drink limit before you arrive.  If you're attending primarily for networking purposes, one or two drinks is an appropriate maximum.  

Over-indulging is a good way to invite trouble to any gathering.  A host's nightmare!
No one wants a drunk guest falling down a staircase, hitting on a VIP - or any guest for that matter, or falling asleep in the onion dip.

If you find yourself sipping a little too hurriedly, switch to water or soda.  

And if you don't drink, having water or a non-alcoholic beverage in your glass works perfectly well as you go about the party mingling and meeting new people.  After all, isn't that why you came? 

Cocktail Party Boundaries

For some people, cocktails are like truth serum with a permission slip to talk to anyone who will listen.  

Be very careful here!  People remember more than you may think, and you never know which sober guest may overhear you and spread the word.  

Keep all cocktail party conversations civil and never divulge anything you wouldn't be willing to place on a billboard.

Also, keep courtesy intact when mingling with V.I.P.'s:

• Avoid monopolizing a VIP's time.  If you engage in one-on-one conversation, invite others to join in after a few minutes.
• Address with respect at all times.  If you call him Mr. Mayor at Chamber of Commerce meetings, don't call him Bill at your neighbor's party.
  
• You're treating everyone as a VIP if you respect their time!
  

Time to Leave

If you arrived a bit late to the party, don't assume it's okay to stay late as well.  
When guests begin to filter out, it's probably time for you to go, too.  

But no matter what time you leave, thank your host and follow up with a thank you note, or an email if that feels appropriate. 

The Best Guest

The best guest on any occasion is mindful, helpful, and cheerful.  The "etiquette-ful" guest practices the art of putting others first while being true to personal values. 

She notices when a newcomer needs to be introduced around and is happy to meet the challenge.  

If ice is running low, or the hors d'oeuvre tray needs refilling, he takes care of it - or offers to.

There is never a lack of good cheer when an ideal guest is in attendance.  Conversation is always positive and smiles abound.

 Contributor, Candace Smith is a retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

Etiquette. Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Cocktails and Being Well Bred

The guests consumed a great deal more liquor than the hostess expected. After the last guest left, she found three cigarette holes in the carpeting and one bad burn the length of a cigar on the fireplace mantel. – On a side note, the gloved woman to the far right should not be gloved while drinking. That is simply “tacky.” – photo source Pinterest

Agony Aunt, Ann Landers, Gives Her Thoughts on Being “Well Bred” vs Being Polite

Dear Ann: I know your column does not deal with problems of etiquette, but this falls in the category of human relations. Please suggest what I should do. We gave a party last evening for fifty friends. It was a cocktail affair with an informal buffet. Everyone seemed to be having a fine time, although I must say they consumed a great deal more liquor than we expected. After the last guest left, I found three cigarette holes in the carpeting and one bad burn the length of a cigar on the fireplace mantel.  

Only one man could have burned the mantel and I know very well who he is. I have a hunch about the holes in the rug, too. Shall I phone these people and suggest they do something about “making, this right”? Bear in mind, our friends are all people of means who have had good upbringings. In fact, they are considered very well bred. –Upset Hostess

Ann’s Answer: Don’t call your friends and suggest that they pay for damages done during a party. This is just further proof that even the “well-bred” have a tendency to get crumby when they drink too much. When you invite guests to your home, you naturally assume they will not devalue the property. When “well-bred’’ people do damage, they offer to pay for it. Why don’t you review your guest list for next time. – Ann Landers, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia