Etiquette and Religious Principles

The Dutch journalist, statesman and Neo-Calvinist theologian, Abraham Kuyper, raised modest and religious daughters. They were not slaves to fashion, and asked that Dutch Court dress etiquette be relaxed. They were offered tea instead.

Low-Necked Dresses Cause a Court Row

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Daughters of the Dutch Premier Decline to Observe Rules at The Hague

LONDON. March 22. — Court etiquette and religious scruples have had an amusing tussle at The Hague. The trouble arose when the daughters of Dr. Kuyper, the Premier, were invited to the first court ball of the season. Low-necked dresses were commanded, but the Misses Kuyper decided that decollete dresses were inconsistent with their religious principles. 

They applied for a dispensation, but received a curt reply from the mistress of the ceremonies, who declared that time-honored customs of the Dutch Court must be adhered to. Premier Kuyper made direct representations on the subject to Queen Wilhelmina, with the result that a compromise was arranged. 

The Misses Kuyper will stay away from the ball, but will take tea with their sovereign in high-necked dresses the same afternoon. — San Francisco Call, 1902

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Dutch Politeness, 1896

A lady is bowed to by all of her father’s, brother’s or husband’s friends, and if a Dutch boy’s father or brother has ever met a lady, that boy must recognize her.

Social Etiquette in the Netherlands is Peculiar

Social etiquette in the Netherlands is as interesting as it is peculiar, and in its extraordinary manifestations, it is a revelation of what constituted the customs of New York hospitality of two centuries ago. The French are polite, but their politeness is nothing as compared with that of the Dutch.

The visitor notices it as soon as he arrives in the country and as he sees it in the street salutations. Everybody bows, nobody nods, and mere touching of the hat is unknown. As in France, the gentleman bows first; but, although he may have bowed for ten years, he is denied the privilege of addressing the lady. A bow is given to every acquaintance.

A Dutchman gives an order to a workman and takes off his hat with a bow that would not bring discredit to a dude. If he meets his neighbor's footman or kitchen girl, he salutes her as he does her mistress, and the men servants give their recognition on meeting ladies. Everyone bows on passing a house where acquaintances reside, and it is amusing to see men go by and take off their hats at the windows—it is quite immaterial whether any of the family are visible.

Moreover, ladies make a polite bend of the whole body as they pass houses where they visit. Tradesmen salute all of their customers. A lady is bowed to by all of her father's, brother's or husband's friends, and if a Dutch boy's father or brother has ever met a lady, that boy must recognize her. Every man takes off his hat to every other man that he knows, the dutchman and the pastor bowing as politely as two lords.— From Golden Rule, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia