History and Etiquette of Cutlery

The European rule is to keep the tines down, unless it is the only cutlery you are using, in which case you can scoop with them up. Americans are happy to scoop up at any time.

Who invented cutlery?

Forks — The word fork comes from the Latin “furca” or “pitchfork.” It consists of the prongs, which are called “tines,” and the handle, known as the “shaft.” The European rule is to keep the tines down, unless it is the only cutlery you are using, in which case you can scoop with them up. Americans are happy to scoop up at any time. The fork was invented because some things when cooked are too hot to hold. Ancient Egyptians used large forks for cooking, as did the Greeks, and there were bone forks found in Chinese burial sites from more than 4,000 years ago. Frankly, forks are now a pest in museums.

Knives — There was a time when everyone carried their own knife. It was sharp and pointed and for centuries hosts tried to stop guests picking their teeth with it after a meal. The dinner knife, a much less threatening implement with a rounded tip, is said to have been invented on May 13, 1637 by the First Minister of France, Cardinal Richelieu. You'd think he had better things to do, but apparently one night at a dinner he saw a guest picking his teeth with a sharp knife and had had enough. He ordered all his knives ground down and rounded off to stop such disgusting behaviour. In 1669 King Louis XIV made it illegal for French cutlers to forge pointed dinner knives.

Spoons — “A camel does not drink from a spoon.” ~ Persian Proverb. That is so true yet you rarely see it written down. The spoon has been around since Paleolithic times. Before some genius invented the spoon there is no doubt people used shells to scoop food if it was too hot to touch. The word spoon comes from Old Norse “sponn,” meaning “chip” or “splinter” so some probably used a bit of wood. After that you find the ancient Egyptians using spoons, the usual catalogue of Greeks and Romans, Indians and Muslims etc... Everyone thought the spoon was a cracking idea. — From “Peas and Queues: The Minefield of Modern Manners,” by Sandi Toksvig

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor of the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Dining with the Fork

Typical 17th C. Georgian era, British silver dining knife and fork

“No rule is so general, which admits not some exceptions.”—Robert Burton 

About the fork centers a good deal of controversy, and on this subject the well-bred English person always disagrees with the well-bred American who is as yet uninfluenced by British notions. The Englishman insists that the fork, when used with the meat course, should never be taken from the left hand, and that it should be held always tines down; while the average well-bred American sees no harm in shifting it to when he is using it to convey food from his plate to his mouth, and in turning it tines uppermost when he finds that most convenient. When he does this, the Britisher says he is using his fork like a shovel, and this to him is unpardonable. 

The fact seems to be that the British mode is spreading and that in many, if not most, boarding schools, where good manners are insisted on as much as French or English and rather more than arithmetic and geography, the British way with, the fork is insisted upon. 

But remember that there is authority for both methods, and that many well-bred, persons are none the less well-bred because they cling to the American method. But however you use fork, see that you don’t clutch it too greedily, and likewise see that you do not cram the fork with food with the aid of the knife. It is extremely awkward and bad manners to use the fork as a masher 

In eating potatoes and other vegetables, one should simply detach a bit of the potato by means of the tines of the fork, and carry this to the month without crushing it between the tines. Never put more on the fork than you can take in one mouthful. Some persons you know take a large morsel on the fork at once, and then take it in two mouthfuls at once. This is a small matter, but it is one of those little things that constitute bad table manners. 

Never use the fork in order to reach for anything that is not on your own plate. If food is served to you on serving dishes, there should be service spoons or forks, and you should help yourself by means of these just as you would in your own home. 

If the bread plate is out of reach the very ill-mannered person sometimes reaches it by means of his fork. Some persons forget that when the fork is not actually in use conveying food to the mouth that it must be laid across the plate. It should not simply he laid with the prongs resting on the plate, much less should it be held in mid-air. 

Some persons, when they wish butter on potatoes or other vegetables, take it from their butter plates by means of the fork. If there is no butter knife, then the regular knife should be used. On no account should the fork be used for this purpose. - Mary Marshall Duffee, 1922

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The “Why” of Our Table Setting

Reduced to its simplest terms, arranging the flat silver is only a matter of placing it in the order of use, so that as he picks up the implement for each course, the diner will be working from the outside in.

Table setting is a simple enough procedure if you understand that the silver is placed as conveniently as possible for the user. Once you have decided on the menu and the silver to be used for each course, begin setting the table by spacing the place plates. Allow about thirty inches to each cover. And naturally if the table is larger, the places will be a little farther apart.

Reduced to its simplest terms, arranging the flat silver is only a matter of placing it in the order of use, so that as he picks up the implement for each course, the diner will be working from the outside in. Following this rule, you will have at the left the fish fork, the meat fork, and, nearest the plate, the salad fork. At the right: the soup spoon, fish knife, and, nearest the plate, the meat knife. The cutting edges of the knives should be turned in to face the plate. For the placing of flat silver see the sketch above.

Convention has decided, broadly, that soup spoons and knives go on the right of a plate because they are used primarily by the right hand, and forks on the left because as long as their fellow utensils, the knives, are in action, they are left-hand implements. If you eat according to the English method, as many Americans do, you do not change your fork to your right hand while there is anything on your plate to cut. You use the two implements continuously during the meat course. 

If, however, you prefer to eat according to the American method laying down the knife every few minutes and transferring the fork to the right hand-there is no rule against doing so; it is a manner of eating upheld by many. Of course, when a fork is the only implement necessary, it is always held in the right hand.– From “Table Setting and Service” by Elizabeth Barnard, 1935

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Art of Using a Knife with a Fork

Designed for teaching American children proper flatware usage and placement, this circa 1930’s-1940’s, three piece set of “Kindergarten” flatware has “hidden messaging” in the design on the handles. Upon close inspection, the fork handle reads, “For the Left Hand,” while the handle of the knife reads, “For the Right Hand,” and the spoon handle reads, “For the Saucer.” The handles can only be read at the table if the utensils are in their proper positions for “pausing,” “resting” or even “finished” (when the knife and fork are placed together at 11:00 and 5:00.)

American versus Continental Dining

Close-up of the knife handle

When dining with knives and forks, one should be aware of the two different and distinct styles of eating with these utensils. In the United States, most Americans eat using the American “flip-flop” or “zig-zag” method. The U.S. is the only country in the world that uses this method predominantly. Most of the rest of the world uses the European or “Continental” style.

Because you are obviously at your best when you feel comfortable in all social situations, use whichever method you are most comfortable with, regardless of how others are eating around you. The self confidence you feel knowing that you are using the proper utensils and table manners, as well as other proper forms of etiquette, will free you from worry over how you look to others and will enable you to concentrate on what you need to say and how to communicate your thoughts. 

You will find yourself more relaxed in many different social situations with this new confidence and you will also find that you are enjoying your social life more fully, even when your social life is an extension of yours, or your spouse's, business or professional life. Think of this new found knowledge as a valuable tool and use it to its fullest to enhance the quality of every aspect of your life.

The American Flip-Flop or Zig-Zag

For our example we will be using steak. Imagine the steak on your plate. Pick up the steak knife to your right of the plate with your right hand and the fork to the left with your left hand. Carefully spear the steak with your fork tines facing downward into the steak. Use your knife to cut the piece of steak with a gentle sawing motion, using only slight pressure on the blade of the knife. In this manner, the blade does the work, not you. Then, when the piece of meat has been cut, the knife is placed across the top of the plate with the tip of the knife pointing toward twelve o'clock and the handle pointing at three o'clock. Switch the fork from your left hand to your right hand, gently spear the cut piece of meat, turn the fork so that the tines are facing upward and bring the food to your mouth. Return the fork either to the left side of the plate, or to the steak if you will be cutting another piece, with your left hand, and pick the knife up with your right hand again. This is the “flip-flop” or “zig-zag” action.

The European or “Continental” Style

Imagine the same steak on your plate. Pick up the steak knife with your right hand and your fork with your left, just as in the American example. Carefully spear the meat with the fork tines facing downward and cut the piece of steak with the knife with a gentle sawing motion. When the piece of meat is cut, place the knife at the top of the plate, resting in the same manner as the American style calls for and bring the piece of meat to your mouth with the fork still in the left hand and with the tines facing downward. This action is then repeated, if another piece of steak is desired, by keeping the fork in the left hand and retrieving the knife with the right hand from its resting spot at the top of the plate. The fork in the Continental or European style of dining is never switched back and forth from one hand to another.— From The RSVP Institute of Etiquette’s “Social Graces Handbook”, 1993

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia