Etiquette for Table Decor

Candles are used only on the evening dinner table. Generally speaking, the preferred arrangement for candles is a balanced arrangement on either side of the centerpiece.

The Decorative Motif

This includes the flower or fruit arrangement, candle equipment, compotes if you use them, and other purely decorative items.

There's no reason why you shouldn't arrange them as soon as you have put on your cloth or placemats and before you set the individual places, if it is easier for you. I prefer to do it last, since I can arrange my flowers and other decorative items and place my candles according to the empty space that is left and see that they are in proportion to and do not overbalance the table-setting as a whole.

It is important, especially on a small table, to keep your central arrangement low, so that diners may see each other across the table and carry on a conversation if they wish.

Candles are used only on the evening dinner table. Generally speaking, the preferred arrangement for candles is a balanced arrangement on either side of the centerpiece. If you are setting a narrow refectory-type table you may place them at either end.

The arrangement of accessory decorative pieces such as compotes or added containers of flowers or fruit, figurines and so forth, must depend on the length and size of your table. 

Remember that crowding and overdisplay is awkward; it's poor taste and bad design. Space is important. It is restful to the eye and a foil for the beauty of your accessories and equipment. You will never go wrong if you set your table with restraint and simplicity. This is a good rule to remember. — Helen Sprackling, 1960

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Centerpiece Etiquette and History

A thing of beauty, and social one-upmanship: An epergne, heavily laden with pineapples... an extravagant and expensive fruit in the Regency Era — “Fresh flowers were not used until the 19th century, but flowers of porcelain or silk often were part of the decoration in the 18th century. Because decorations were meant to show one’s status, rare, make-believe decorations were preferred. Large epergnes often were filled with fruit or dessert sweets in the center of the table. The 19th century hostess preferred fresh fruit, foliage and flower centerpieces. One writer suggested using a board for the table with a hole in the center. The hostess would place a tall plant beneath the hole so the leaves would form a large centerpiece.”

When Dinner-Party Centerpieces Spoke Volumes

Dinner-party decorations have been relatively unchanged for centuries. Many a hostess has been faced with a large, long table that had nothing in the center. The void has been filled with attractive vases, epergnes, figurines and fruit and flowers.

The 17th century table featured large and small platters of food. The platters, often made of silver or gold, helped to declare the wealth and importance of the host.

The food on the platters was prepared to be decorative. A cooked peacock was served with its colorful feathers adorning the platter, for instance. Some cooked animals were presented using their head and feet as decorations.

Fresh flowers were not used until the 19th century, but flowers of porcelain or silk often were part of the decoration in the 18th century. Because decorations were meant to show one’s status, rare, make-believe decorations were preferred.

Large epergnes often were filled with fruit or dessert sweets in the center of the table.

The 19th century hostess preferred fresh fruit, foliage and flower centerpieces.

One writer suggested using a board for the table with a hole in the center. The hostess would place a tall plant beneath the hole so the leaves would form a large centerpiece.

Other hostesses used high stands decorated with greenery and flowers.

Tables continued to have large centerpieces in the 20th century. Etiquette suggested that the arrangements should be low so the dinner guests could talk across the table. The wealthy arranged fruit or low flowers in silver bowls with decorations of three-dimensional cherubs or animals. Those with less money used simple bowls. — By Ralph and Terry Kovel, the Times, 1999

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia