Etiquette and Formal Dress

Traditional Parsi attire, including a black Astrakhan fez.

Big Plans Upset by Point of Etiquette 

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Insistence on British Formal Dress of Parsi Deprives Governor of Funds for School

LONDON, Jan. 23.—A ridiculous insistence on etiquette has just caused the upsetting of the plans of a certain Anglo-Indian Governor. His excellency had long been desirous of immortalizing his name in India by the erection in his capital of a splendid series of collegiate buildings, and in response to his public appeals a well-known Parsi gentleman had privately offered His Excellency the necessary donation of ten lacs of rupees (nearly $350,000) for the purpose. 

The generosity of the rich Parsi community in this way is unexampled. The donor, in the ordinary course, received an invitation to His Excellency's levee and went dressed in the regulation frock coat and trousers, but wearing the black Astrakhan fez, now often affected by well-to-do Parsis.

At the entrance to the scene of the levee, he was informed by the official who represents what, at the Court of St. James, is called the "Court Tailor," that he could not be admitted unless he appeared in an English silk hat, as he was otherwise attired in European costume.

An orthodox Zoroastrian never appears in public, indoors or out, without his hat, and so the generous Parsi had to quit the scene of the levee. He promptly wrote to the Governor, cancelling his offer of the ten lacs, and for the time being, the collegiate buildings exist only on paper. The Governor's hopes of immortalization are also not likely to be realized. — Los Angeles Herald, 1910

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, the Pope and Attire

It's not the size, ladies. It's the view. Papal etiquette does not countenance decollete gowns in the Pope's presence. 

The Pope and Decollete Gowns

It is not generally known that Papal etiquette does not countenance decollete gowns in the Pope's presence. Moreover, his Holiness holds them in great abhorrence. This is rather awkward for those who are not aware that it is considered a breach of etiquette to appear at a Papal reception in ordinary Court dress.

For instance, a short-time since some American women who were visiting Rome wishing to attend one of his receptions made their appearance in ordinary Court dress, having availed themselves to the fullest extent of the decolletage. His Holiness was horrified when he noticed them, but at the time refrained from taking any personal notice. Nevertheless, he determined to take steps for its prevention in future. 

A certain well-known Cardinal was instructed by him to inform the ladies, of their breach of etiquette. The Cardinal was a man of the world, and realized that the matter must be approached with the utmost tact and delicacy. 

After due consideration he approached the ladies and addressing them said: "The Pope is old-fashioned and does not like decollete; but," he continued, waving his hand lightly in the air, "for me, I am quite accustomed to them, you know; I have been so much among savages that I do not mind them."  — Chicago Times-Herald, 1900

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Religious Principles

The Dutch journalist, statesman and Neo-Calvinist theologian, Abraham Kuyper, raised modest and religious daughters. They were not slaves to fashion, and asked that Dutch Court dress etiquette be relaxed. They were offered tea instead.

Low-Necked Dresses Cause a Court Row

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Daughters of the Dutch Premier Decline to Observe Rules at The Hague

LONDON. March 22. — Court etiquette and religious scruples have had an amusing tussle at The Hague. The trouble arose when the daughters of Dr. Kuyper, the Premier, were invited to the first court ball of the season. Low-necked dresses were commanded, but the Misses Kuyper decided that decollete dresses were inconsistent with their religious principles. 

They applied for a dispensation, but received a curt reply from the mistress of the ceremonies, who declared that time-honored customs of the Dutch Court must be adhered to. Premier Kuyper made direct representations on the subject to Queen Wilhelmina, with the result that a compromise was arranged. 

The Misses Kuyper will stay away from the ball, but will take tea with their sovereign in high-necked dresses the same afternoon. — San Francisco Call, 1902

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Faux Royalty

Women by decree, were supposed to curtsey to Lady Gladstone, as if she were a royal personage. 

Court Etiquette for Colonial Export

A strange, at the same time amusing, problem in the social etiquette of colonial life under the British crown arises in South Africa out of the decree of Lord Gladstone, the first Governor General of the confederation, that on all official occasions, women must curtsey to Lady Gladstone as if she were a royal personage. 

The people of the United South African states arc deeply penetrated with the spirit of democracy. The Boers, especially, are resentful of the imposition of an absurd and belated Court etiquette. An imitation and pale reflex of royalty does not inspire South African worship. 

The plain people of the confederation see in the Governor General's social decree, a survival of the ancient, odious practice which, in the middle ages, constrained the unwilling subject to execute respectful obeisance when he passed in front of the throne, even though that object of grudging reverence might happen to be unoccupied. 

So Lord Gladstone's order is flouted and ridiculed. The Boer ladies, when admitted to "the presence" preserve an unusually upright carriage, and altogether, the social atmosphere is clouded. As the home government relied chiefly on Boer support for the administration, and as General Botha is a member of the cabinet, the measure of Gladstone's statesmanship is seriousiy impaired. 

He was sent to South Africa because he was constantly making official blunders at home. but the sea voyage does not appear to have changed his quality, or improved his judgment. Court etiquette is not a prosperous traveler. —San Francisco Call, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Dining, Not Whining

Be patient with children and try to have fun.

The Top Tips for Making Dining Out with Children a More Pleasant Experience

* Try to make sure the children are well rested. When possible, consider their schedules in your planning. Children who are tired, are more apt to be cranky and can act very hyper.

* Calculate the length of time since the children have last eaten and when you reasonably expect to be served your meal. If it will be longer than two hours, give them a small snack of raisins or other foods that are easy to eat in your vehicle, without making a gooey or crumbly mess. Low blood sugar can make children hyper.

Table Topics can be made into a game. Be sure to listen to even the younger members of your group.

* Come up with things each family member can talk about at the table. Make it a game and the kids will enjoy the conversation more. 

* If possible, ask for a table and chairs rather than a booth. Booths, by their design, invite kids to slide on under them. Chairs, especially with arms, have a way of containing kids, and can be pushed closer to the table.

Kids will respond well if you let them know the behavior expected of them, ahead of time.

* Brief children on what behavior is expected before you get into the restaurant. Remind them of the manners they have been taught by you and make sure to give them 'do's, not a lot of 'don'ts'. 

Example: "Do put your napkin in your lap before food or drinks are put on the table." or "You can play with your toy, but do play quietly so that others are not bothered." 

Giving a child a list of 'don't do this and don't do that' rarely works. List off a hundred things they don't get to do, and their imaginations will come up with hundreds more you didn't think to cover!

* Let kids "kick the air, not the table leg or chair" if their feet do not touch the floor. If your legs didn't touch the floor, you would get an unconscious urge to move them around too. That is why kicking table legs and kicking the backs of seats starts for kids. Their legs are not getting needed circulation.

* Avoid soft drinks that contain caffeine. Educate yourself about which brands contain it and to what extent. Some soft drinks, for example, have nearly three times the amount of caffeine as others.

* If a child is small, ask that glasses only be filled half-way unless the restaurant has child-sized drinks and ask servers to limit the amount of ice in cold beverages. Melting ice forms condensation on glasses, which causes slips and spills. Ice can also be a choking hazard for toddlers, and simply invites noisy ice-chewing in older kids.

* Be patient with children and try to have fun. It may just turn out to be a wonderful learning experience for the whole family. 

Contributor, and Site Editor, Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, for over a quarter of a century, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette.  She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years.

Diplomat Broke Belgian Etiquette

Woodcut of Li Huang Chang (or Li Hongzhang) with Otto von Bismarck in 1896 ~
Li Hongzhang was a Chinese politician, general and diplomat of the late Qing dynasty. Quelling several major rebellions and serving in important positions in the Qing Imperial court, he was also the Viceroy of Zhili Province.

Li Hung Chang has earned the thanks of all inveterate smokers. He has broken down the rule of the Belgian Court etiquette, which strictly forbids smoking in the State apartments, by the simple process of taking out a long pipe, and, after it had been filled by his secretary, smoking it. 

King Leopold, though, we doubt not, a good deal astonished, rose to the occasion admirably. He at once caused cigarettes to be handed round, with the result that Li Hung Chang soon found his position no longer one of "splendid isolation." — San Francisco Call, 1896

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Royal Court Etiquette for Sport

The Queen of Siam rode a bicycle. As an avid wheelwoman, her ladies of honor, (the ladies of her Royal Court), were expected to enthusiastically follow her lead.

The Queen of Siam is an enthusiastic wheelwoman, and as Siam Royal Court etiquette requires her to be accompanied by a large retinue of women, the ladies of honor have been obliged to become as proficient as their royal mistress. 

The cycling infection has spread through the Orient with great rapidity recently, and just as was the case with their Western sisters, the wheel is the advance agent of good health and a greater measure of personal liberty. Mohammedan women in the East wear trousers, so that the divided skirt has been on the ground many years ahead of the bicycle. — Sacramento Daily Union, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Versailles Court Etiquette in Africa?

In 2012, the Barotseland royal household in western Zambia demanded independence, accusing the government of ignoring a 1964 treaty. In 1902, Barotseland's King Lewanika visited London for the coronation of King Edward VII and Queen Alexandra, where he was treated with much respect, and had an audience with King Edward, and an informal meeting with the Prince of Wales. When asked what he would discuss with the British sovereign, he said "When we kings meet, we always have plenty to talk about".

A Gorgeous King: Lewanika, the King of Barotseland, is held in great fear and respect by his people. His court has as much etiquette and ceremonial as that of Louis XIV. His band of musicians make both day and night hideous with their performances. The music is done to drive away evil spirits.

Lewanika himself is an imposing spectacle. The King wears a long blue dressing gown trimmed with red, braid trousers and shirt. and on his head, a scarlet nightcap, and above it a black terrai hat. – Sausalito News, 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette for Former President

Theodore Roosevelt in Egypt, 1910 — Of all US Presidents, Theodore Roosevelt is the only one whose greatness and popularity increased when he left the office. When he toured Europe in 1910, as "Colonel Roosevelt," he was hailed as the most famous man in the world. Crowned heads vied to put him up in their castles and palaces. Etiquette note: When a President leaves office, the title of President is not supposed to be used, unless it is used in the title "Former President." But we continue to see and hear former US Presidents referred to as "President" on television and radio programs. The job is a temporary one and the title belongs only to the current office holder. 

Monarchs Perplexed About Etiquette Regarding “the Colonel”

WHAT to do with Roosevelt, or rather about Roosevelt? Lord Cromer is reported to have audibly thanked his God that the Colonel made no sally upon India, where the relations between the British Raj and the natives are even more strained than in Egypt. 

The cautious British statesman conceives of the Colonel as one who goes about dropping matches in any convenient powder magazine that lies in his itinerary. The Colonel has such an overpowering personality, that they never know what he will do next. But they always know it after it is done.

Therefore King Edward is reported to be no little perplexed and, in a word, frightened about the advent of the Colonel. A nice, old gentleman who has been carefully fenced about all his life with rigid barriers of exacting Court etiquette and saturated with an atmosphere of polite deference may look forward with some dread to meeting one who speaks his mind so bluntly. 

The Colonel is not skilled in the observances of a court where the worst crime in the calendar is the faux pas. So the King is reported to be anxiously considering whether the rules of Court etiquette might not be used as a convenient shelter in which to hide.

The Kaiser is different. He is not bothered by etiquette and precedent. He makes precedents, and is ready to meet Roosevelt, man to man. There is no flutter in the Imperial dovecotes at Potsdam. The Kaiser has a homely taste for plain living and high thinking. He bid his guest to potluck on sauerkraut and sausage, it may be and bids Polly put the kettle on, for a big talkfest is on the way. 

Princes and potentates are all human in their, several ways, and some prefer the heady brew, while others like to look upon the tea when it is pink. — San Francisco Call, 1910

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Millionaire's Etiquette Breach

After his breach of court etiquette, Vanderbilt went on to fight in WWI and was highly decorated for his efforts. After the war, he and his wife frequently returned to Europe, becoming friends and guests of numerous members of European royalty including former Kaiser Wilhelm II of Germany, and his brother, Prince Henry of Prussia, King Albert I of Belgium, Crown Prince Olav of Norway, Queen Marie of Romania, Reza Pahlavi of Iran, and the British monarchy.

Vanderbilt in Court —Had to Uncross His Legs
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Millionaire Reprimanded for Etiquette Breach 

New York, April 1 —Cornelius Vanderbilt was in Justice Goff's court yesterday, waiting to be called as a witness in the case of his banker friend, James F.D. Lanier who was, sued for running down a girl while in his auto with Vanderbilt. 

The latter, unmindful of William M. Brady's recent experience, crossed his legs. Justice Goff, who is a stickler for court etiquette, promptly ordered him to uncross them. Vanderbilt complied as gracefully as possible. — San Francisco Call, 1911

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Relaxed for Hero

 Admiral Count Togo of Japan— Everyday life of the Japanese Imperial Court was practically unknown to the public in spite of the increasing enterprise of Japanese journalism, which had made repeated efforts to break down the barrier of excluslveness and mystery that had hitherto guarded all approach to the inner apartments of the Chiyoda Palace.

Japanese Hero Honored with

 Relaxed Etiquette of the Imperial Court  

Admiral Count Togo, commander of the Japanese fleet which destroyed the Russian squadrons in the battle of the Sea of Japan in May, 1905. Now enfeebled by his eighty years, has special permission to carry a cane when visiting the Imperial Court.

The carrying of sticks of any sort in the presence of the nation's rulers is forbidden by court etiquette, but exception in the case of the aged sea hero was made by formal ruling of the Minister of the Imperial household . — Healdsburg Enterprise, 1926

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

An Upstairs-Downstairs Etiquette Snafu

Not all cooks were keen to teach their skills to any of those living “upstairs” —When a servant is engaged, he enters the house for the first time through the front door. After that he regards the back door as his sole means of entrance and exit.

Mistress Fined for Invading Her Own Kitchen! 

LONDON, July 17.—There is no etiquette so strict as that which dominates London life “below stairs.” With all the upheavals of the world war, the dignity of cooks and butlers remains unassailed. 

A case was recently heard in the court wherein a cook took offense because the mistress invaded the kitchen and insisted on cooking some mutton chops herself. The insulted culinary queen immediately gave notice, and in this she was joined by her husband, the butler. Whereupon the mistress locked the back door and thus got herself sued for “wrongful imprisonment.” 

During the hearing of the case the judged asked why, if the mistress had only locked the back door, did not the couple go out by the front. The cook and butler nearly collapsed at the suggestion. “That,” said the butler, painfully surprised at the judge’s ignorance, “is against all kitchen etiquette. When a servant is engaged, he enters the house for the first time through the front door. After that he regards the back door as his sole means of entrance and exit. No self-respecting servant would dream of leaving his employer’s house by the front door!”

On inquiry, it was found that the etiquette ruling such matters was a very real thing to the circle of overlords and underlings of the kitchen, and the aggrieved pair were allowed £5 damages. — Los Angeles Herald, 1920

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Russian Court Etiquette

Alexander II succeeded to the throne upon the death of his father in 1855. The 1st year of his reign was devoted to the prosecution of the Crimean War. After the fall of Sebastopol, negotiations for peace were led by his trusted counsellor Prince Alexander Gorchakov. Few imagined that he would be known to posterity as a leader able to implement the most challenging reforms undertaken in Russia since the reign of Peter the Great.

Russian Imperial Court Dance Etiquette

According to Russian etiquette, no subject who is not attached to the Court, can dance with the Princesses of the blood. A young Lieutenant of Hussars, ignorant of the established etiquette, asked the Grand Duchess Olga to dance with him, and she, who saw by his “orders” that he was a Crimean, consented. The Emperor, who saw his sister “polking” with the young sub, sent for the latter as soon as he had left his partner, and smilingly told him that he had committed an offence against etiquette. “As I hear,” continued the good-natured monarch “that you distinguished yourself greatly at Sebastopol, I take you into my Adjutantar; and now, as you are attached to the Court, you can dance with the Grand Duchess again, if she has no objection.” — Wide West News, 1856

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Fateful Breach of Etiquette

Charles Augustin Sainte-Beuve was a literary critic of French literature, but evidently not a student of Tuileries' exacting etiquette.

Under the French Third Republic, Charles Augustin Sainte–Beuve brought disgrace upon himself because at breakfast at the Tuileries, he carelessly opened his napkin and placed it over his two knees. To this, he added the crime of cutting his egg in two, at the middle.

Court etiquette prescribed that the half-folded napkin should be on the left knee, and the top of the egg was to be merely broken with the edge of the spoon and drained with the tip of the spoon. For his failings in these respects, Sainte–Beuve's name was struck off the Imperial visiting list. — London Chronicle, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Painful Versailles Etiquette Lesson

Louis XIV was also known as Louis the Great (Louis le Grand) or the Sun King (le Roi-Soleil). He was a Monarch of the House of Bourbon who ruled as King of France from 1643 until his death in 1715. His reign of 72 years and 110 days is the longest of any Monarch of a major country in Europe's history. Versailles, Europe’s grandest and most opulent palace, became a center of political power and a symbol of the king’s dominance and wealth. In addition to the royal court, the 700-room palace housed the nobility that Louis XIV had brought into his sphere as well as the thousands of staff needed for its upkeep.

The royal court of France used to be a great place for etiquette. Louis XIV once caught a severe cold owing to the fact that on his arising from his bed one cold morning, the Lord of the Chamber, whose duty it was to hand him his shirt, happened to be absent. Not one of the numerous courtiers present had the courage to trangress etiquette by handing the garment to the shivering monarch. —London Scrap Book, 1908

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J, Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette, Kings and Crowns

Would the British government propose to forbid the presentation of “Hamlet,” on the ground that it is exceedingly disrespectful to the Danish monarchy?

In the line of international courtesies nothing quite so queer has recently broken loose as the decree of the British Lord Chamberlain, excluding Gilbert and Sullivan's “Mikado” from the London stage. 

At the top notch of this scale of obeisance to the powers that foreign be, we admire or wonder at this ridiculous British nobleman and censor, while at the bottom of the grade one remembers with almost equal amusement the free and easy and wholly unterrified fashion in which the late Mr. Paul Neumann — beloved of Bohemians — personally conducted King Kalakaua and steered his royal and sometimes uncertain footsteps among the pitfalls of California etiquette in the roaring eighties. His Royal Highness simply could not go wrong while Mr. Neumann headed the procession and made way for his Majesty among the thronging curious like a herald without his tabard, and gayly calling, “This way; king!”

It is a far cry from San Francisco to London, and it seems as if our ideas and those that rule the British stage are quite as wide apart. To be sure, the Lord Chamberlain's ideas are by no means of universal acceptance among his countrymen, but the British have to stand for those ideas, just the same. An irreverent Irish member of parliament has been amusing himself by pursuing to their logical conclusion the noble censor's ideas. He inquires, for example, whether the government proposes to forbid the presentation of “Hamlet,” on the ground that it is exceedingly disrespectful to the Danish monarchy.

At the bottom of the whole fuss there is, of course, an inarticulate sense that a modern King is a spectacle under the most favorable circumstances. The Kings of today are ashamed to wear their crowns even on state occasions and have them borne on a cushion. Edward VII has a crown that weighs twelve pounds, and he has too much sense to wear it if it can be avoided. — San Francisco Call, 1907

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Spanish Royal Etiquette History

The Gainsborough Hat was also known as a “Picture Hat” or “Merry Widow” and it has fallen in and out of fashion, several times, since the 18th Century 

Princess Ena Favors Big Headgear

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 New Hats Are Big Gainsboroughs — Won't Look at Cute Effects at All

LONDON— The Princess Ena is buying most of her trousseau in London. Court etiquette demands that the bride of the King of Spain must have her wedding dress woven and made in Spain, so the rich white brocade is being woven on Spanish looms, and the dress will be embroidered by the girls of Madrid. After the wedding, the dress will be dedicated to the Blessed Virgin, which is also a traditional ceremony in the court of Spain. A few smart little frocks have been ordered in Paris, but most of the wedding outfits will be made in London. 

The Irish Ladies' Industry association has secured almost a monopoly of the orders for lingerie, etc. The bride's hats are being made by Gainsborough, the main milliner, who has made the Princess Ena's hats since she put off baby bonnets, they are almost all made according to the Spanish taste— big picture hats with enormous ostrich feathers. The smart little hat of the early 60s, which is the fad in this country now, is not at all the thing in England or anywhere on the continent except in Paris. — Los Angeles Herald, 1906

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Historic Etiquette Breach

British politician, Joseph Chamberlain — In the 1880s, when Irish demands for an autonomous parliament (Home Rule) and land reform, increasingly bedeviled British politics and caused a deep rift in the Liberal Party. Chamberlain favoured Irish reform, especially at the local level, and stood with Gladstone in opposition to the use of repressive force in quashing Irish agitation. Disgraceful behaviour followed...

They Apologize 

The overgrown schoolboys who in a moment of passion took to fisticuffs and bruising in the House of Commons have now made amends for their disgraceful conduct by apologies and explanations— not, perhaps, very contrite, but sufficient to restore the equilibrium of decorum. There was no apology from Mr. Chamberlain, whose distempered gall was exuded in his comparison of Mr. Gladstone to Herod, the fate of whom he was metaphorically to suffer. 

The cankered leader of the Liberal Unionists never withdraws any phrase that rankles or kindles angry feeling, and yet he is supersensitive to any stringing thrust that touches his own delicate nature. Harold Frederic sagaciously hints that every movement this bitterly personal statesman takes up results in demoralization. As a renegade Liberal, he hates the party that nursed him into prominence, and for the Irish representatives he has nothing but the blind rage of a disappointed and balked man. 

The very Tories whom he now counsels distrust and detest him, for they at least have their ancient principles of immovability, and he is a quicksand in shiftiness, thinking less of a cause than himself.  The rank and file on both sides are doubtless anxious to forget their ungentlemanly irruption, but it is not likely soon to pass out of memory. It will always be quoted against John Bull’s Parliament when lectures on breaches of etiquette are given for the benefit of other legislative bodies prone to boil over in wrath. — San Francisco Call, 1893

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and House Rules

"Those that deal with etiquette and decorum have not been officially recorded anywhere..." — The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland was created in 1801, by the merger of the Kingdoms of Great Britain and Ireland under the Acts of Union.

"How can I learn the rules of the House?" asked a newly elected Irish member of the late Mr. Parnell. "By breaking them," was the prompt reply of the Irish leader, who, as is well known, spoke from experience on the point. But few members would care to adopt that heroic method of obtaining the desired knowledge, and their task in mastering the rules is rendered all the more difficult by the curious fact that many of these regulations are unwritten. 

Some will be found in the standing orders, or permanent rules, passed from time to time by the House to regulate its own procedure, but those that deal with etiquette and decorum have not been officially recorded anywhere, save in a few quaint and obsolete regulations to be found in the old issues of the journals of the House, or in the minutes of proceedings during the session. 

For instance, a strange rule for the guidance of the Speaker is set down under the 15th of February, 1620: "The Speaker is not to move his hat until the third congee." Propriety of carriage in leaving the chamber is thus enforced: "Those who go out of the House in a confused manner before the Speaker to forfeit 10s." This rule is dated tne 12th of November, 1640. Again we find that on the 23d of March, 1693. it was ordered: "No member to take tobacco into the gallery, or to the table, sitting at committees." — A History of Parliamentary Elections and Electioneering in the Old Days, 1886

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Attributes of Charm ~ Part 2

The Golden Rule is as important today as ever.

At the Heart of Charm

Spiritual Graciousness

Spiritual graciousness is at the heart of charm. Know and practice the courtesies of daily living. Avoid jokes at the expense of others; avoid gossip and a critical attitude. Forgive those who hurt you. Show tolerance for those who upset you. Generosity of spirit involves giving credit and praise when they are deserved. Respect the opinions and rights of other people.  Treat them the way you would like to be treated regardless of their station in life. The Golden Rule is as important today as ever.

Balanced Emotions

Perhaps the hardest requirement of all is self discipline-control yourself and your emotions. Spontaneously showing happiness, choice, surprise – or even annoyance when you were angered – is to be true to yourself.  But to live happily with others, you must also exercise self-control. It is this balance between spontaneity of feelings and discipline or control that you will want to achieve.

Be Interested in Others

Making Friends

The charming girl is interested in virtually all people in all aspects of life. She knows that almost everyone can contribute something to her life. So meet and make new friends; don't limit your circle of friends to just a few if you really want to grow.


Good Family Relationships 

Because we are so close to our families, we tend to lose sight of the fact that they deserve the same courtesies we give others. Too often we expect parents, brothers or sisters, to give us more than we give to them. There should be a mutual respect and understanding within family groups. If you don't think you're getting it, try giving it. It will probably be returned. 

Believe in Yourself

Self-Confidence 

If you don't like yourself, if you don't feel your actions, habits or appearance can stand competition, or comparison, you lack self-confidence. If you don't believe in yourself, no one else will. If you do believe in yourself, there's almost nothing in life you won't be able to do. So do everything you can to build solid self-confidence, and it will be reflected in the world. — From 1972, Wendy Ward Charm Book 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette and Attributes of Charm ~ Part 1

According to the Wendy Ward Charm Book, you can hardly be charming and beautiful, if you can't see and feel beauty; if you don't know and love it.

Here are some of the attributes you should acquire if you do not already have them...

Poise

Cultivate poise. The poised girl maintains calm when she has a difficult situation to handle. She goes about it naturally and easily and avoids nervous movements of the body.

Spirit of Adventure

Since you can always pack your bags and sail to faraway islands, begin to develop the spirit of adventure, by trying new ideas, new thoughts, a new method of study, a new way of wearing your hair or even a new food!

Sense of Humor

A girl may have many good qualities and still lack charm. Often, the missing quality is a sense of humor. You'll find the person you enjoy being with most is the one who finds the things you say witty. More important, the one who enjoys being with you is also someone who's wit you appreciate. Nothing pleases a boy more than discover he can make you laugh. You only have to develop a sense of humor if you lack one. Look for the things in life worth laughing about. 

You'll get extra points for telling a funny story about yourself. Remember, however, to laugh with people, and not at them.

Appreciation of Beauty

You can hardly be charming and beautiful if you can't see and feel beauty; and if you don't know and love it. If you haven't thought about it, try starting now, to appreciate the beautiful. There is beauty all around — in the shape of a leaf, the changing sky, the smell of spring, or the laughter of a friend.

Being Interesting 

You should be interesting to others. That means you must be able to contribute to conversations -— at a party, in groups large or small, even on a one-to-one basis. Learn a new party game especially well, one that doesn't require props, so you'll always be ready to suggest and direct it. Find out what you really like. Learn to talk about interests such as music, books, movies or sports. — From 1972, Wendy Ward Charm Book 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia   

Etiquette, Charm and Smiles

"Why do some girls always look so pretty and act so confident? These girls know how to do the right thing at the right time. They also know how to have fun. Very few of us are born with those characteristics. A lovely appearance, confidence, knowing how to act on every occasion — these attributes are acquired. They have to be learned. Now, you have an opportunity of learning how to bring out the best that is within you, of finding out how to look your prettiest, of gaining the feeling of confidence."

"Most people aren't their natural selves. Rather, they are an accumulation of habits and affectations picked up through life. Inside, they're different. Do you want to learn to be the real you instead of a phony? You can. Are you have to do is learn the techniques and rules that help develop a charming personality."  – From 1972,  Wendy Ward Charm Book

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Etiquette and Appropriate Attire

Will I be able to relax and behave with confidence, knowing that I've made a good selection?

Taste — Good, Bad and Indifferent

You've heard the term many times. As applied to fashion it means knowing and wearing those things that are right for the right occasion. What may be in good taste for the beach is probably not so for a shopping trip. What may look right on Sallie Mae not on you, and vice versa. How can you know that an outfit is or isn't in good taste for a certain occasion? Ask yourself:

• Will I feel comfortable physically, and psychologically, wearing this outfit on this occasion?
• Will I be able to relax and behave with confidence, knowing that I've made a good selection?
• Do I feel gaudy, overdressed or underdressed?
• Do I tug at my attire, or do I forget about it and enjoy myself? 

If you can answer yes to the first two questions and know to the last two, your outfit is probably in good taste.

Some Fashion Guidelines

• Keep current — you don't have to be fad happy. Just know what's going on out there in the fashion world. It's the only way you can pick and choose what's right for you.
• Know your strong points and emphasize them. Do you have a long Grecian neck, a wasp waist or shapely gams? Make the most of them! 
• Recognize your weak points, as well. Learn how to disguise them artfully with the illusion of color, fashion shaping and make up.
• Like and care for your clothes. Make good use of your trusty needle before that button falls off or that tiny tear becomes a major repair. Get to know your friendly neighborhood cleaning establishment and your "village cobbler." You'll look well groomed and you'll be surprised how your wardrobe has grown after the torn and soiled prodigals have been returned to the flock. — Wendy Ward Charm Book, 1972

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia