Early “Motor City” Manners

Men of affairs do not eat with their fingers nor elevate their feet in drawing rooms, so why revert to the custom of prehistoric times in the use of like-manners at the wheel of the automobile? Motorists who impress with their good manners in home, office or club seemingly throw their breeding to the four winds when they drive.  – 
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Detroit’s Code Of Motor Manners

City ordinances are not necessarily repressive. They are meant to be of aid in the general movement of congested traffic. They are helpful if motorists, collectively, and to the driver individually. Any given automobile, thus, probably would be smashed to pieces every day were it not for the general protection provided by laws primarily for the benefit of all. Don’t, therefore, be in ignorance of traffic regulations. 

Men of affairs do not eat with their fingers nor elevate their feet in drawing rooms, so why revert to the custom of prehistoric times in the use of like-manners at the wheel of the automobile? Motorists who impress with their good manners in home, office or club seemingly throw their breeding to the four winds when they drive. 

They dent fenders through traffic crowding. They frighten pedestrians, and they blast their horns long and loud when a warning would be plenty. Their lack of good balance and care adds to the possibility of accident, and accidents come like lightning strokes. Don't therefore, have two codes of courtesy—one for company and one for home, club or office: you are in company when you drive your car in public streets. 

Courteous driving provides a definite insurance protection which otherwise cannot be bought. Accidents and wrecks will not descend upon the ordinarily driven automobile. Statistics show that a huge majority of mishaps result from speeding or from various other actions of carelessness or traffic rule violations. 

No record exists so far as a railway train having left its track to hit a motor car. The fact that automobiles must first get in front of trains to be hit adds emphasis to the deduction that the more careful and mannerly the motorist is, the more certain is the atmosphere of protection and safety he surrounds himself with. Don’t, therefore, be an obstacle in the path of progress of automobile good driving. – The Morning Press, 1917

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Mrs. Sangster on Etiquette, 1904

This is a primer of manners designed to make ladies and gentlemen of us all. In her preface, Mrs. Sangster describes it as being like Jack Horner’s historic Christmas pie, and always yielding its plum to the reader who opens its covers. 

GOOD MANNERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS

A Practical Manual, By Margaret E. Sangster

New York:
This is a primer of manners designed to make ladies and gentlemen of us all. In her preface, Mrs. Sangster describes it as being like Jack Horner’s historic Christmas pie, and always yielding its plum to the reader who opens its covers. 

Certain things she overlooks; for instance, she leaves one sadly at sea as to the etiquette of card parties, dances, etc... because she says so many people are divided as to their places as amusements at all; neither does she speak authoritatively upon the question of wines at the table, etc..., since she considers all alcoholic beverages as lying strictly within the domain of a reputable physician. Otherwise her field is as wide and varied as the most exacting student of manner could wish for.

Under table manners, one learns that he should not make a noise while eating, that his chair should not be placed too close to the table, neither too far away; that he should not express a decided preference for any particular article of food unless requested to do so; that it is not elegant to tuck one's napkin under one’s chin; that except in the case of very old ladies or gentlemen eating with one’s knife is not to be tolerated, and many other important things. 

Passing on to the etiquette of children, one learns with actual relief that well-behaved children do not play with a guest's dress, hat, or purse: neither are they permitted to sit on a sofa beside a guest unless particularly invited by the guest to do so. Indeed, in most cases they are not permitted in the room with visitors at all.

A gentleman in society does not quarrel with other guests in a house, and it is not considered elegant to try to be witty, although a pleasing and sprightly conversation may be tolerated. Even en familie quarrels and squabbles should be avoided at the dinner table. Never ask personal questions in society, and in talking to a person look at him, but avoid staring. 

In church one should remember not to eat lozenges or peppermints, nor to fan violently and create a cold current on the back of one's neighbor's neck. Be attentive to old people in the house of God.

It is not etiquette for saleswomen to gossip behind the counter, nor for stenographers to lunch with their employers.

Ladies should try to have their dresses fit well, and in traveling there are fastidious people who prefer to carry their own toilet articles rather than to use those designed for the general-public.

The book is a stout volume, and these are only unassorted items taken from it at random. Mrs. Sangster has gone to great pains to classify all her manners. For instance, on Page 23 she gives Good Manners for Traveling” and on Page 205 we have “Good Manners When All by Ourselves.” There are chapters on “Mourning and Funeral Etiquette and on “The Etiquette of the Visiting Card.”

She tells when is the proper time to: use moth balls and when to buy preserves; when to use the typewriter in correspondence, and when to write in: long hand; and she also gives recipes for cleaning jewelry and old laces, and a little résume of manners in different periods, of history. It should prove an exceedingly valuable book for diamonds in the rough. – The Christian Herald, 1904

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Hotel or Lunchroom Table Etiquette

The bread and butter plate is placed to the left of one's plate and the tumbler of water to the right. These, as well as the dishes that follow, will be placed correctly by the waiter.

Dear Mrs Adams,

Kindly advise me on the following questions relative to table etiquette in hotels and lunchrooms:

1. How to use napkin.
2. Where to place individual dishes such as bread, butter, water, fish, so on to salad.
3. When dishes are placed by a waiter, should they be moved to suit one’s convenience,
4. How to eat different bread stuffs, such as biscuit and hot rolls.
5. What to do when one does not care for courses that are brought on.
6. Is one supposed to eat from side dishes or dinner plate?
7. When a waiter brings courses ‘round should I take them off of the tray and place them on the table, or should the waiter?
8. How shall I tip the waiter when there are just three or four ladies traveling together?


1. The napkin is taken from the table, unfolded and laid across the knees. At the close of the meal, it should be placed unfolded, a little to the side of one’s plate.
2. The bread and butter plate is placed to the left of one’s plate and the tumbler of water to the right. These, as well as the dishes that follow, will be placed correctly by the waiter.
3. Yes, in an unobtrusive manner.
4. Bread, biscuit or rolls are eaten in the same manner. A piece is broken off each time one wishes to convey any to the mouth.
5. The best way to do this is to make a pretense of eating it, or to continue eating bread or crackers, so that you will not make yourself conspicuous by sitting back and not eating. Of course, if you are asked whether you would care for a certain dish when the order is given, you can then give your explanation.
6. If small portions are brought in on side dishes, you should take the food directly from them.
7. Leave the amount you desire to give the waiter on the tray when he brings your change. — The Los Angeles Herald, 1911

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Table Etiquette Topics

(Pictured above, a newly weaned piglet, or "shoat")
The coarse husband who causes a watermelon rind to meet behind his ears every time he makes a pass at it, has induced many a trustful wife to view the table manners of the shoat with increasing admiration. 

The watermelon is the cause of more bum table etiquette than the Irish potato served with the jacket on, which has to be impaled at the waist line and disrobed before the eyes of a polite company. 

We don’t know which is worse—the man who inhales a vertical section of watermelon with a gulping intake, like the suction of a steam pump, or the guest who runs a nervous finger over his rear gums in order to round up an overflow of green corn. 

The coarse husband who causes a watermelon rind to meet behind his ears every time he makes a pass at it, has induced many a trustful wife to view the table manners of the shoat with increasing admiration. 

A prominent Eastern society journal conveys the discouraging information that the mold of fashion in New York and Newport, is about to discard the time honored practices of swabbing a piece of rye bread in the gravy, and for wiping one’s fingers on the nearest doily. The decrees of fashion become more cruel and arbitrary every year. — Sacramento Union, 1911

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia