Gilded Age Etiquette of Audiences

In 1896, a question of the etiquette of audiences arose in New York…

A question of the etiquette of audiences arose once in New York when the Symphony society’s concert was given. Mr. Joseffy played the second Brahms concerto, which threw the audience into a state of intense enthusiasm. He was called out a dozen times, and yet the audience persisted in its applause. Finally Mr. Damrosch, the conductor, made as if to proceed with the programme, but the audience kept up their applause. Mr. Damrosch waved his baton and began the next number. The sounds of the orchestra were drowned, however, by the noise of the audience. Mr. Damrosch then rapped sharply upon his desk, and the musicians and the audience both became silent. He turned to the audience and gave them a sharp rebuke for the manner in which they had conducted themselves, saying to them that to ask a pianist, no matter how much he might have pleased them, to add to his exhausting labors after playing such a concerto was neither an appreciation of his art nor an evidence of good manners. The audience very sensibly accepted the rebuke, and the performance went on. – The Hanford Journal, 1896

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1960’s “Sidewalk Santa” Etiquette

Kris Kringle has to be a model of diplomacy. One cardinal rule forbids the Santas from promising children they will get the gifts they ask for. But at the same time, Santa must send the youngsters away “hopeful and happy.”

Sidewalk Santas Need More Than “Ho-Ho-Ho!”

It takes more than an ability to voice a hearty “Merry Christmas, ho-ho-ho” to make a good sidewalk Santa Claus, according to the Volunteers of America. The 2,000 Santas on duty across the United States for the Volunteers, also must master rigid rules of sidewalk etiquette.

The Kris Kringles attend special schools where they are taught the “do’s and don’ts” of their profession before they can receive their red costumes, white beards and chimneys.

The Schools for Santas are directed by Col. John Ford, National social welfare organization, who said “it’s vital that Santa is exemplary. We insist that our Sidewalk Santas not only are courteous, but live up to what children have been told by their parents,” Ford said.

Kris Kringle has to be a model of diplomacy. One cardinal rule forbids the Santas from promising children they will get the gifts they ask for. But at the same time, Santa must send the youngsters away “hopeful and happy.” Other rules formulated by the Volunteers of America for its Santas cover the range from sweet breath to sweet disposition.

“Keep your breath clean avoid eating garlic or onions and do not eat, drink or smoke while on duty.” is one of the basic commandments. The Santas also are advised to be courteous and pleasant at all times, to avoid arguments or disputes and to avoid obstructing traffic.

Most of the Sidewalk Santas are older men. Some have themselves been rehabilitated by the Volunteers of America in the program supported by funds collected during the Christmas season. But the campaigns, which date. back to 1901, play a much bigger role.

They provide free Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners to thousands of homeless individuals and needy families in cities across the nation and holiday baskets of food, fuel and toys to families. The funds collected in the chimneys also help support the Volunteer's year round social welfare program. – New York (UPI), 1961

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Kid’s Etiquette in the 1980’s

You don't sleep in tents and cook hotdogs on a grill at these camps; you take dance classes and learn “the right way to do things.”

Courtesy Camps

What comes to mind when you think of summer camp? Daddy Long Leg spiders? The time you short-sheeted your counselor's bed? Whatever you think of, it probably deals with lots of dirt, and lots of fun.

But what would you do if you found out you were spending the summer at a "manners" camp? You don't sleep in tents and cook hotdogs on a grill at these camps; you take dance classes and learn "the right way to do things."

One of these camps, The Emily Post Summer Camp, meets at the Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida. The session lasts for four days. Kids take dance classes to learn both old-fashioned and modern dancing. They learn telephone manners, how to write thank you notes, and how to behave properly at the table. They even have time left over to swim and play games!

But not all the kids who go there are happy about it. Barbara Smart, who handles public relations for the camp, says "It would be fibbing to say that they're all delighted to be here. None of them are kicking and screaming. but it may be the step just before that." Smart says the kids end up enjoying the camp, though: "They have two hours of class and the rest of the afternoon free they may not have been to a place like the Breakers before. and they make lots of friends here."

Christopher Brett, a thirteen year old from Palm Beach, went to the camp last year. He liked it so much, he's going back this year. "It was really fun, but at the same time you got to learn all this stuff. I think it was funner than other camps, especially at the place it was."

Another camp, the L'Ecole des Ingenues, in Atlanta, Georgia, takes manners even more seriously. The camp director. Anne Oliver, calls it "more than just an etiquette camp." It's more like an old-fashioned finishing school for teenage girls. They learn how to act when they go to the ballet, which fork to use during a meal, the proper way to behave at tea time and other social events.

Oliver says there is an "etiquette epidemic" right now. When the camp started in 1976, fewer people were interested in manners. "When I opened, parents were sending their daughters. Now, almost ten years later, the girls are asking to be sent." – By Julie Langsdorf for Gannett News Service, 1985

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Cross Cultural Etiquette in 1985

Many things have changed, and have gone in and out of fashion over the past 40 years, but good manners are always in style. Social media is full of etiquette and cross cultural tips. It pays in many ways to study up on any possible cultural differences before you travel to another country. – Image source, Instagram

Time To Get Some Etiquette

I’ll bet you think you already know good manners. You put your napkin on your lap, keep your elbows off the table in fact, you probably know how to behave perfectly, if you must. But here comes the hitch – manners are different in every country! Oh no! How are you supposed to know what to do in Hong Kong? Or India? Or Germany? 

Here are a few rules to follow:

• Let's say you've just arrived in Hong Kong. You want to say. “Hi! How are you?” to the hotel clerk. Since Hong Kong is a British colony, they understand English greetings, but it is better to use Chinese greetings. So, like the Chinese, you say “Have you eaten rice yet?”
• Next you go to India. Better stop whistling. it’s rude to whistle in India! You better not slap your Indian pals on the backs either; they don’t see it as a friendly gesture like we do.
• Now you're in Germany. Don’t cut your fish and potatoes with a knife. Just use a fork. If you want to chew gum, you better do it in private. It’s impolite to chew in public. Most people don't wear sneakers except for playing sports; so put away your Nikes!
• Let’s go to Egypt now. When’s dinner? Sometimes Egyptians don't eat till 10:30, or even later! You'll probably get lots of food once you do get served, though. Don’t feel pressure to eat everything on your plate. The host might think you didn't get enough.

Don't worry about remembering all these rules, though. You'll do fine in any country if you pay attention to what people there do. – Julie Langsdorf in Pennywhistle Press, 1985

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Christmas Greetings

A personal message on a late 19h century photograph served as a Christmas card– “The experts urge us not to add greeting cards to our Christmas list of woes. ‘I've never gotten offended by not getting a card,”  ~ Image from the Etiquipedia private library

Keep Christmas greetings brief, experts say

The Do’s and Dont’s of Sending Greetings

If you've had triplets in Brooklyn but haven't told a buddy in Biloxi, go ahead, break the blessed event in your Christmas blurb. Otherwise, please spare the details.

“Some kind of megalomania seizes people at this time of year. They write all kinds of things they wouldn't dream of telling you,” says “Miss Manners” Judith Martin. "If you're going to write a letter, for heaven's sake, write a letter."

A card-carrying greeting card-hater, the syndicated columnist says the holiday season is one exception: if it's done “write.” The only yuletide words she sends come from her own pen, but Martin says painted cards are proper as long as you at least sign your name.

And about that trail of names you'll soon pull out with the artificial tree. “If your husband says, ‘I thought they were friends of yours,’ and you say, ‘I thought they were friends of yours,’ maybe it's time to drop them,” Martin says.
“Eventually, they'll do the same,” adds another Queen of Courtesy, Elizabeth Post. Post, author of “Etiquette: A Guide to Modern Manners,” has her list down to 80 names. And most years, her message benefits UNICEF or another charitable organization that puts out cards.

The experts urge us not to add greeting cards to our Christmas list of woes. “I've never gotten offended by not getting a card,” says Joseph Gonzales, of Masterpiece Studios, a card company out with a brochure called “Christmas Card Etiquette.”

Other do's and don'ts:

• DON'T use a Christmas card to announce your wife just died. Also, no fa-la-la-la-la's to anyone in mourning. Choose a card that says something like “Peace on Earth,” but…
• DON'T kick in condolences.
• DO save it for another season, if you must send off-color jokes or dirty messages.
• DO give your postage meter the day off. Stamps are more festive.
• Send cards to business contacts, but…
•  DON'T overdo it - you won't spruce up your image if the recipient doesn't remember who you are. And…
• DO sign all cards.

–By Jane Gottlieb, Gannett News Service, 1987

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Tips for Santa Claus

Knowledge of Santa Claus etiquette comes in handy when dealing with children of all ages and from all backgrounds. Children have unlimited imaginations and will ask seasonal, stand-in Santas all sorts of questions. The answers need to be plausible.

Temporary positions now available: hearty chuckle required. Must believe. At Western Temporary Services, the call has gone out, as it does every holiday season, for Santa Claus impersonators. Many applied and 28 were chosen to staff various shopping malls beginning today.

“We hand-picked these guys from about 280 applicants,” said Jan Squires, area manager for the employment agency. “We get a lot of down-and-outs and ask them why they want to be Santa. If they say they need the bucks, they're not our guy. They've got to believe in Christmas.”

Western has been in the rent-a-Santa business for 17 years, providing 3,000 artificial St. Nicks to stores and private parties. This season's newly anointed Santas, a rather young and lean crowd, gathered at Western Services on. Wilshire Boulevard recently for a quick course in Santa etiquette.

• They received instructions on how to answer the likely questions that would come their way, such as where does Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer loiter while Santa is slipping down the chimney?
• “Don't say the roof. They might try to climb up,” said one veteran Santa. “Just tell 'em Rudolph's visiting friends at the zoo and he couldn't make it to the store.”
• To preserve Santa's image, strict rules governing Santa conduct are issued. There's a ban on smoking or alcohol on the job, on eating cheeseburgers, on wearing the distinctive red suit in the car. “The point is never ruin the illusion,”Squires said. “These children need to believe in you.”

Wilmer Drake, a 20-year veteran of the role, admits there are pitfalls. Some kids wet Santa with their tears because they're scared, he said. Others get so excited they wet Santa from the other end. For their efforts, Drake and his colleagues get $30 per six-hour day. – Los Angeles, AP, 1985

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Gloves in Space?

The first female who orbited in space was Russian cosmonaut, Valentina Tereshkova, in 1963. She was just 26 years old when she piloted the Vostok 6 spacecraft around Earth alone. She orbited Earth for 48 hours. It’s not known whether she ate with disposable plastic gloves on while orbiting our planet, but as early astronaut foods were dispensed by toothpaste-style tubes, Etiquipedia is wondering if the gloves would have been a necessity or not. Dining in weightlessness creates special challenges and great strides have been made in foods since the first pioneers went into space. We aren’t sure if gloves ever actually entered into the dining picture.

With Gloves On

NEW YORK (UPI)- —When a fashionable female accepts a spin in a spaceship, she will have to reverse one bit of etiquette. She'll eat with gloves on! 

Air Force space scientists at least, figure that for short space hops a disposable plastic mitten can be worn at mealtime. This reportedly will eliminate the need to wash the hands after meals. – 1961

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Cultural Deafness

The above exercise wear is inappropriate outdoor and indoor attire for many activities and in many countries, yet cluelessly worn by women as appropriate attire in numerous places…. Educate Yourself: Research the customs, traditions, and values of the places you plan to visit. Leverage online resources, including personal travel vlogs, for firsthand insights.

Cultural Differences: Silent Barriers

Imagine this: you’re at an airport, and you walk into the restroom only to see people washing their feet in the sink. Or you’re exploring the streets of Egypt dressed in tight shorts and a crop top or wearing a short skirt and a tube top in India—only to feel out of place or even attract unwanted attention. Perhaps you’re in Italy, frustrated because you can’t find American-style deep-dish pizza or fast-food hamburgers.

These are real scenarios I’ve actually witnessed:

1. At the airport, travelers from Saudi Arabia en route to Tajikistan via Kuwait prepared for afternoon prayers by washing their feet, as is customary in mosques. 
2. On the streets of India, some visitors strolled in what could only be described as “beachwear,” puzzled by the persistent stares and catcalls from local men.
3. And in Italy, an Instagrammer expressed disappointment over the lack of Americanized food options.

These moments serve as reminders of the importance of cultural awareness and respect when travelling. Understanding local customs, dress codes, and traditions can enhance your experience and help you engage meaningfully with the places you visit.

What is Cultural Deafness?

Cultural deafness refers to the inability to understand or appreciate cultural differences. It often arises from a lack of awareness and can lead to misunderstandings when cultural norms, customs, and traditions are not researched or respected.

Viewing one’s culture as superior can lead to judgment of other cultures based on personal norms and values. You can’t, and really shouldn’t, expect your pizza in Italy to taste like your local pizza parlor’s pizza, if you’re not already living in Italy.

Why Does Cultural Deafness Happen?

Several factors contribute to cultural deafness:

• Ethnocentrism: Viewing one’s culture as superior can lead to judgment of other cultures based on personal norms and values.
• Lack of Research: Failing to study a destination's culture can result in missed opportunities to appreciate local customs and beliefs.
• Stereotyping: Making broad assumptions about groups based on limited information or preconceived ideas can hinder meaningful intercultural interactions.
• Communication Barriers: Language differences, nonverbal cues, and cultural nuances can create misunderstandings.

How to Overcome Cultural Deafness

To combat cultural deafness, it’s essential to develop cultural competence. Here’s how:

• Be Open-Minded: Embrace cultural differences with curiosity and a willingness to learn.
• Ask Questions: Speak to others who have travelled to your destination and learn from their experiences and motivations.
• Practice Empathy and Patience: Strive to understand different perspectives. Cultural competence is a skill that develops over time.
• Educate Yourself: Research the customs, traditions, and values of the places you plan to visit. Leverage online resources, including personal travel vlogs, for firsthand insights.

I recently came across two fascinating social media accounts that highlight cultural and linguistic differences in the United States and United Kingdom. 

• Steve Ford, a native English teacher with over 30 years of experience, runs @englishwithsteveford, where he helps people understand the nuances of the English language and its regional variations. For instance, he explains how the British term "courgette" translates to "zucchini" in both the U.S., and I must say Australia too, showcasing subtle yet important linguistic distinctions. 
• Meanwhile, @landontalks, hosted by Landon Bryant, dives into the unique customs of the Deep South in the United States, from funeral procession etiquette — where it's customary to pay respects even if you didn’t know the deceased — to the pre-Thanksgiving cousin meetings, which are navigated carefully to avoid upsetting your “meemaw” (grandmother). 

These creators brilliantly illustrate how language and culture shape everyday life, offering valuable insights for anyone interested in cross-cultural communication. Well worth following!

Navigating Cultural Differences: Solutions for Real-Life Scenarios

Traveling to different parts of the world often presents cultural surprises, and knowing how to navigate them respectfully can make all the difference. Let’s revisit the scenarios above and explore thoughtful solutions to each:

• Washing Feet in an Airport Sink : For Muslims, washing feet is part of the ritual purification (wudu) before prayers. This practice is essential in preparation for spiritual activities, even in unconventional settings like an airport.
• Solution: I am actually very surprised that this particular airport in Kuwait – an Islamic country, did not have a designated wudu area for their customers. Perhaps that could be a consideration of airport management at Jezerra Airways.
• Wearing Inappropriate Attire in Conservative Countries: In countries like Egypt and India, modesty in clothing is deeply rooted in cultural and religious values. Revealing clothing may be perceived as disrespectful or out of place, drawing unwanted attention.
• Solution: Before travelling, research the cultural norms for clothing. Pack modest attire like long skirts, loose pants, and tops with sleeves for conservative regions Smartraveller.gov.au says this about dressing in Egypt during Ramadan: “Dress conservatively. Knee-length or longer dresses and long sleeves are preferable for women, and men should not wear shorts outside tourist areas. Respect religious and social traditions to avoid offending local sensitivities.” 
• Expecting Americanized Food in Italy: Italian cuisine is a point of national pride, with authentic dishes often far removed from American adaptations. Expecting fast food or American-style pizza misses the essence of Italy’s culinary heritage.
• Solution: Embrace the opportunity to explore the local cuisine. Research traditional dining and approach it with an open mind. If you crave familiarity, seek international dining options, but don’t let this limit your experience of Italy’s rich culinary culture.

We Hear You!

By cultivating cultural competence, we can bridge gaps in understanding and celebrate the diversity that makes travel so enriching. After all, it’s the differences in culture that make exploring the world so tantalizing and exciting!

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth is currently traveling throughout India and brushing up on her Hindi.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Top Ten Etiquette Changes by 1950

Trousers on women... “Slacks are not incorrect dress for resort areas, sports, and lounging at home,” says this expert, “but are improper for city wear. Of course,” she adds, “some women are mistaken to wear them ever.”

10 Important Etiquette Changes Listed by  

Emil Post’s Assistant

Anne Kent, personal assistant to Emily Post for more than 15 years, has listed for the December issue of Cosmopolitan magazine the ten most important changes in etiquette. Here they are:

1. First-name calling. Miss Kent finds no fault with this practice in circles where it’s taken for granted. She says that position and age should be respected, and children shouldn't call adults by their first names.

2. Trousers on women. “Slacks are not incorrect dress for resort areas, sports, and lounging at home,” says this expert, “but are improper for city wear. Of course,” she adds, “some women are mistaken to wear them ever.”

3. The younger set (past eighteen) after midnight. The modern young woman and her young man head for home alone or with other young friends, stopping off for a late snack.

4. Posture. “I don't believe we should revert to the ram-rod stiffness required when our grandmothers were young women,” says Miss Kent, “but a little more gracefulness of posture would eliminate a great American eyesore.”

5. The typewriter supersedes the pen. The typewriter for personal correspondence is now not merely approved but favored. Formal notes, such as answers to formal invitations, should be penned by hand. And letters of sympathy seem warmer and more sincere if handwritten.

6. Manners after divorce. Years ago, divorced couples shunned each other. But today, many of them remain good friends or, at least, on speaking terms.

7. Women and nicotine. Sherry’s, a famous old New York society restaurant, forbade any woman to light a cigarette on the premises. The modern woman reaches for a cigarette almost whenever or wherever she has the whim.

8. Calling on new neighbors. This old American custom is vanishing, a casualty of World War II. Miss Kent believes that “people’s instinctive kindness will eventually bring back the courtesy call.”

9. Buffet meals replace big dinners. The modern hostess who gives a dinner party can prepare ahead of time, relax, and ask the guests to help themselves.

10. The decline of chivalry. Since gaining a more equal status with men, women no longer expect deference as the “weaker” sex. Unless she’s infirm or elderly, the modern woman must hustle for a seat on the subway. And that old hats-off-in-elevator rule has been completely revoked in business-building elevators.

According to Miss Kent, feminine independence has been paid for out of the currency of male chivalry. And many a woman seems to believe the purchase isn’t worth the price. – Whittier Star Review, 1950

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the People of Peru

Today, Peru reflects a mixture of ancient sites, colonial architecture, diverse cultures and many languages.

I grew up with my nose buried in Enid Blyton's Famous Fiveand Secret Seven, and later devoured every page of Carolyn Keene's Nancy Drew mysteries. Those stories ignited my passion for solving mysteries and unravelling intrigue. As a teenager, my imagination was set ablaze by the cinematic magic of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark—a whirlwind of treasure-hunting adventures spanning South America to the Middle East. So, when the opportunity to visit Peru arose, I didn’t just say yes—I was all in.

The Backstory of Peru

Archaeologists have discovered that Peru’s rich history spans thousands of years over 15,000 years, beginning with the ancient Norte Chico civilization to the Moche, Nazca, and Chavín, then to the Inca Empire in the 15th century. The Spanish conquest in 1532, led by Francisco Pizarro, toppling and plundering the Incas, led to the colonization of the region and a fusion of Spanish and indigenous cultures. Peru gained independence in 1821, driven by revolutionary leaders like José de San Martín and Simón Bolívar. Today, it reflects a mixture of ancient sites, colonial architecture, diverse cultures and many languages.

What Not To Say or Do with Peruvians

When interacting with Peruvians, it's important to be mindful of certain cultural sensitivities, such as:
• Refrain from making jokes about illegal drugs, as such comments are considered offensive rather than humorous. The Peruvians have held the coca leaf in high regard for thousands of years for its medicinal properties, which especially help with gastrointestinal ailments, motion and altitude sickness.
• Never use the term “cholo” to refer to indigenous or mestizo Peruvians. Dictionary.com states its derogatory meaning; “an immigrant who is considered to be low-class and poorly educated”. On the flipside if you’re referred to as gringo, it’s usually not intended as an insult but as a general term for foreigners, every country uses a similar term.
• Avoid bringing up political topics unless you have built a strong rapport, as these can be polarising and sensitive. Also, avoid talking about the historical rivalry between Peru and Chile, as that can also be contentious.
• While Peruvians take pride in their Inca heritage, avoid stereotyping modern Peruvian culture as solely tied to ancient traditions, as it has evolved significantly. Also, be cautious not to generalise Peruvians with other Hispanic or Latin American populations, as each country has its own distinct culture, which you will find out once travelling through the Americas.
• Lastly, I made the mistake of casually referring to South America as “America.” I quickly learned that when referring to the United States, it's more appropriate to use “United States” or “Estados Unidos” in Spanish. South America, on the other hand, is often referred to as part of “The Americas,” while Canada is recognised as part of North America. After being corrected several times, the lesson stuck with me—it was as unforgettable as the fiery experience of eating a single Paqui tortilla chip! (which I highly do not recommend).

Social and Greeting Etiquette

Peruvians place great importance on introductions and greetings. Common greeting phrases include “buenos días” -good morning, “buenas tardes” - good afternoon and “buenas noches” for good evening. The greeting is done by a firm handshake and eye contact, while professionals are addressed by their titles, especially in formal settings or when meeting someone for the first time. This is a way to acknowledge and welcome individuals into a home or business.

Among friends and family, the “abrazo” or embrace, is common, consisting of a handshake and hug between men or a hug and kiss on the right cheek between women. Men often add a pat on the back when greeting close friends or family. Addressing people is also culturally significant. Friends often use first names or nicknames. Older individuals are typically addressed as “Señor” or “Señora” followed by their surname, or more informally as “Don” or “Doña” with their first name.

Reflecting on my journey through Peru, I couldn’t help but feel like I was channelling Indiana Jones himself. As Indy once said, “It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage,” and my time in Peru added miles of unforgettable experiences to my life’s map. Peru’s treasures—its culture, cuisine, and people—proved to be as priceless as any artifact Indy might have sought.

Explore Peruvian Dining Etiquette

The traditional cuisine of Peru is deeply embedded in the nation's cultural and culinary heritage. Iconic dishes include ceviche, and fresh raw fish marinated in lime juice and served with sweet potatoes and corn, which are best eaten fresh with a fork to combine the flavours. Popular street foods like anticuchos (grilled beef heart skewers) are eaten straight off the stick with lime and spicy sauce, while hearty Andean dishes like pachamanca are earth-cooked meals of marinated meats and vegetables, enjoyed family-style, and fingers can be used to eat this amazing meal.

Peruvians enjoy a variety of meats that may be considered exotic elsewhere, which I did try whilst travelling through Peru. Cuy (guinea pig), a traditional Andean delicacy, are often roasted or fried and has a tender, gamey flavour, which I really enjoyed. Alpaca and llama meat, both lean and protein-rich, are common in the Andes, with alpaca offering a mild, slightly sweet taste and llama resembling lamb or venison. I found the meat to be quite fatty, which makes sense given that these animals spend much of their time in cold environments, requiring extra fat for insulation.

Reflecting on my journey through Peru, I couldn’t help but feel like I was channelling Indiana Jones himself. As Indy once said, “It's not the years, honey, it's the mileage,” and my time in Peru added miles of unforgettable experiences to my life’s map. Peru’s treasures—its culture, cuisine, and people—proved to be as priceless as any artifact Indy might have sought. It was an adventure that deepened my appreciation for this remarkable country. — By Elizabeth Soos, Founder of Auersmont School of Etiquette & Protocol

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette. Elizabeth is currently traveling throughout India and brushing up on her Hindi.

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Spotlight on Kseniia Markova

                                   

        Meet Etiquipedia Contributor, 

Kseniia Markova

Below are links to Kseniia Markova’s articles on Russian etiquette you’ll find on Etiquipedia:

• The Etiquette and History of Vodka
• Etiquette and the Russian Zakuski Table

I'm very proud that I've never given two same lectures in my entire career, I always add something or change the way of view. To be honest, I'm not a teacher, but a researcher. 

The following is a Q. & A. with Kseniia:

What was the impetus for starting your Etiquette business?

I would say it was happening by accident, but on the other hand, it could not have been any other way. It is very logical. On my dad's side of the family, we have a dynasty of diplomats, and on my mom's side, writers, artists, screenwriters and historians. No one forced me to choose, but these are such different fields of activity... 

When you grow up among people who are passionate about their work, who have achieved s real success and recognition, it is very difficult, but you really want to find your own way and make your own contribution to something good. And so, in our Etiquette748 project, I managed to make “homage” to both parts of my family. I write about etiquette, about history of etiquette and cross-culture. 

Kseniia is a holder of diplomas and certificates from leading schools and teachers in Europe. (including: Institut Villa Pierrefeu, Debrett’s Academy, The Minding Manners etc... She is the author of several books, including, “European Etiquette: Conversations about good manners and subtleties of behavior in society,” and “Etiquette. Traditions and history of romantic relationships,” and “Dress code: Etiquette and classics as ways of self-expression.” In 2022, this book won an award as the best in the field of etiquette. She is a member of the National Association of Protocol Specialists (NASP)

I write not only in Etiquette 748 as a blog, but I have a few books published already and one more, I hope, will “born” before the end of the year.  I am engaged in social European etiquette, Most of the diplomas and certificates I have received are about this. Now I find the topic of the history of feasting, table settings, table manners and the study of various rules related to this important issue in the history of people very fascinating. 

Food is the engine of progress at absolutely any stage of human evolution, because it is our basic need. People need to eat in order to live. Some products that today seem to us the most ordinary have gone through an interesting and long historical way and have become the basis of culture. Table setting, table manners are not just knives and forks lying on a certain side. Not at all! There are many different meanings and nuances in this.

I believe that we make the world a better. I believe that studying history and the peculiarities of different cultures makes you think about the diversity of the world, learn to respect the past, better understand the present and have some hope, be optimistic about the future. Etiquette, certainly, sets some boundaries, but they allow different people who grew up in different worlds and have different values ​​to find a common language and communicate comfortably, and most importantly, safely, find common topics. The main thing is not to offend anyone. It is especially unpleasant to do this out of ignorance or when you did not want it or just meant something else, but the someone understood it incorrectly, in a wrong way. 

Kseniia is a specialist in European social etiquette. Project creator & author for ETIQUETTE748, Kseniia won a national award in the field of protocol, image and etiquette, “For contributions to the development and popularization of the profession” for quality content that supports the ETIQUETTE748 project - 2018, and was a national award winner in the field of protocol and etiquette, in the category “Best educational project in the field of etiquette” -2022.

What do you enjoy teaching or passing on to others most?

I don't have any regular classes and I don't have a regular program. I'm very proud that I've never given two same lectures in my entire career, I always add something or change the way of view. To be honest, I'm not a teacher, but a researcher. Etiquette748 is already 10 years old and all this time we regularly publish articles 2-3 times a week on various topics related to etiquette. 

I try to keep up with what is happening in the global etiquette community, what books and interesting articles are coming out, new or previously published. 

What types of services do you offer?

We still don't have any plan, we write about what seems interesting for us. And taking this opportunity, I would like to thank my colleague Elena Fujiyama, a specialist in Japanese etiquette, for such a long and pleasant collaboration. Our articles can and should be read in the morning over a cup of coffee and we are very glad that we have been doing this for more than 10 years, it is for everyone and it is completely free.

I would like to thank my colleague Elena Fujiyama, a specialist in Japanese etiquette, for such a long and pleasant collaboration.

What age group do you enjoy working with most? And why?

I have worked with a variety of groups, except children. This, in my opinion, is a completely different world and I am not competent and good enough in this. I do not really deal with business etiquette, so I only have a few business clients.

Who are some of the older etiquette authors or authorities you enjoy most?

I like primary sources of etiquette history, for example, memoirs or letters of some famous people. There are many interesting things there, but, of course, it is impossible to definitely attribute them to historical sources. Opinions, observations and conclusions made by a specific, even very intelligent person are usually subjective. But you can feel the mood, aroma, tempo of some era that has long since passed away. These touches and nuances so beautifully complement the overall picture. 

Cookbooks of the past, articles in old newspapers and magazines, photographs of people and cities, castle interiors, guidebooks, paintings, catalogs of old exhibitions - all this is very interesting and very important. But in general, any information should be treated very carefully and checked many times. But still, I am an etiquette specialist and the blog is not only educational, but also entertaining. 

Thank you one more time, for me it is a big honor and pleasure to be a small part of your great Etiquipedia community!

If you’d like to reach Kseniia, she can be contacted via her feed @etiquette748 on Instagram

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Russia’s “New” 1957 Etiquette Guide

One of the hardest things to lay hands on in Moscow today is a little book with the misleading title, "For Healthy Living," issued by the "Society for Dissemination of Political and Scientific Knowledge.” Had it been published in the United States it would have been called “Good Manners” or “Etiquette.” It is hard to get because it is so popular.

Russians Get First Etiquette Guide

MOSCOW - One of the hardest things to lay hands on in Moscow today is a little book with the misleading title, “For Healthy Living,” issued by the “Society for Dissemination of Political and Scientific Knowledge.” Had it been published in the United States it would have been called “Good Manners” or “Etiquette.” It is hard to get because it is so popular.

It is the closest thing the Russians have come to Emily Post and they preface it with a note that while bourgeois manners are only a shrewd cover-up for a “mans true face,” the manners of the Soviet man “reveal his great inner culture.”

For example:

• On eating: “Some think that a guest should eat as little as possible. Nothing could be more contrary to good manners. When visiting, just as at home, satisfy your appetite.”
• On dress: "Men may wear pajamas about the house, but only with a shirt underneath. Pajamas are never to be worn at the table when guests are present."
• One of the curious things about this country is that Russian men use their pajamas for almost anything but sleeping. They serve as lounging clothes on long train trips and as that “little something you throw on” to go to the corner store for the morning newspaper.
• On drinking: “Women should not drink vodka, cognac or other strong spirits. There ought to be red wine on the table for them.” This may fall on deaf ears. Ever since the war the girls have been a pretty fair match at comradely toasts with their male companions.
• “Drinking at the table is not compulsory. If you don't want to drink a lot and many toasts are proposed, sip just a little from your glass.” All well and good, but what about the hearty practice in the Soviet Union of bottoms up? To decline a toast is to insult one’s friends.
• On manners, in public: “While talking with someone, there is no need to nudge his arm, slap him on the shoulders or touch the buttons of his jacket.”
• On dancing: “Refrain from gesturing with your free hand and assuming affected poses. Such affectations immediately betray a man's ill taste.”
• On relations with ladies: “Men must never make the acquaintance of a woman without her permission.”
• “When walking with a lady friend, don't leave her alone while you chat with a passing acquaintance. Otherwise she may abandon you.”

Even as in the bourgeois West. – By Collette Blackmoore, UP Staff Correspondent, 1957

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Amy Vanderbilt’s Complete Etiquette 1953

“Women are getting more and more into worthwhile community activities as their home lives are becoming simplified and informal,” she said. “Fifty years ago it was important to have a maid on front door duty for afternoon callers. Now the lady who languished at home waiting for a caller, is much more likely to be found at some meeting of a community organization and doing some good. A little working knowledge of parliamentary law is more useful to her than a briefing on proper conduct during a call.”

A Vanderbilt View of Etiquette

NEW YORK, Jan. 17. That funny noise you hear may be Mrs. Grundy spinning in her final resting place. Amy Vanderbilt, author of the new “The Complete Book of Etiquette,” out in favor of elopements and against debuts. She thinks formal dinners are a lot of nonsense. “Etiquette,” said Miss Vanderbilt with something of a snort, “is an old word for itsy-bitsy manners – where to put your feet, how to hold your hands, how to sit down. For goodness sake, modern furniture is so wide and so big, it’s impossible to sit down like a lady, and most of the time you need help to get back on your feet.”

Miss Vanderbilt has written a five-pound tome which she feels is mainly a guide to modern living. There are chapters devoted to the traditional items such as when to turn down the corner of a calling card, how to address the younger sons of a Duke, and the proper uniform for a chambermaid. But her heart is really in portions devoted to informal entertaining, household budgeting, painless methods of getting rid of obnoxious guests, coping with gossip columnists, applying television makeup, and other problems more likely to vex today’s men and women.

She thinks an elopement is a handy device if the couple is expected to have a big wedding and doesn’t want one. She thinks debuts are silly and tokens of shallow social success. “I feel living has changed so that it’s almost silly to go into such things as the traditional formal dinner for 34 with one butler for each three guests,” she said. “In the first place, where would you find that many butlers?”

Her publishers insisted that people like to read about such things, so she finally gave in. “Etiquette is really a social study of manners.” Miss Vanderbilt continued. “Thorstein Veblen in his theory of the leisure class around 1902, talked of manners as a deliberate advertising of uselessness. He said the upper class women of that day laced themselves into rigid, tight corsets to demonstrate they couldn't possibly do any work. Too many of our manners are outgrowths of this sort of thing."

“Manners,” she continued, “are directly related to economics and sociology. Informality became important in war time. I think we’ll never go back to stereotyped living,” she commented. “It's patently ridiculous to live by the rules laid down by useless people of another century. And if people are foolish enough to maintain a big house for reasons of pure social prestige, they'll just have to keep their help their on eight-hour shifts.”

There are many signs of a change in manners. Miss Vanderbilt spoke of a friend in Washington - where etiquette and protocol is still pretty important - who hires a taxi driver to make the rounds of the embassies dropping the required calling cards. In New York, the men’s clothing store which used to be headquarters for ready made servants’ liveries and uniforms now has ready made “civilian” suits. Servants’ clothes are obtainable only on a custom-tailored basis. 

Important sections of the book are devoted to proper conduct during “public appearances.” “Women are getting more and more into worthwhile community activities as their home lives are becoming simplified and informal,” she said. “Fifty years ago it was important to have a maid on front door duty for afternoon callers. Now the lady who languished at home waiting for a caller, is much more likely to be found at some meeting of a community organization and doing some good. A little working knowledge of parliamentary law is more useful to her than a briefing on proper conduct during a call.”

Miss Vanderbilt - who admits that the magic name she inherited is a good one for an arbiter of manners – says she wrote the book sort of like a detective story. She’s a wife, mother of three, indefatigable hostess and formerly a successful business woman. She wrote most of the rules in these areas out of her own experiences. – By Cynthia Lowry, 1953

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Advice for Carving Turkey

The knife should be thin-bladed, pointed and well sharpened. The fork should be a strong, long- handled, 2-tined instrument. A steel for maintaining the keen edge of the knife should be included. The spoon to serve the dressing should have a long handle.

Chef Tells How To Carve Your Thanksgiving Bird

Carving the Thanksgiving turkey can be transformed from an arduous ordeal, fraught with many embarrassing hazards, into a consummate work of art that will arouse the envious admiration of all who observe, simply by following a few simple rules. Etiquette and good form dictate that the Thanksgiving bird be carved at the table, not in the kitchen, but all too often father hesitates to tempt the fates by risking a session before the platted in full public view, particularly if there are guests at the holiday dinner.

There is, however, something irresistibly inviting in watching a skilled carver guide a keen-edge knife through the yielding joints and tender flesh of a well-cooked Thanksgiving turkey, and the savory aroma of a bird taken directly from the roasting oven to the table works wonders with appetites. For the benefit of those readers whose efforts to acquire a technique in dismembering the carcass of a tasty gobbler have left them more or less physically helpless and mentally hopeless, John Nieder, United Air Lines chef, has prepared a few simple pointers on how to do it without exertion or violence. They follow:

• Proper tools are the first requirement. The knife should be thin-bladed, pointed and well sharpened. The fork should be a strong, long- handled, 2-tined instrument. A steel for maintaining the keen edge of the knife should be included. The spoon to serve the dressing should have a long handle.

• Use a platter large enough to provide space for the turkey and also for the carved portions until it is time to serve them. Garnish should be kept to a minimum as an aid to the carver. A few large crisp sprigs of parsley, and chop holders for the drum-sticks are all that is necessary.

• It must be assumed that the bird is properly cooked. Overcooking handicaps the carver for the meat that falls off the bones cannot be sliced attractively.

• Place the bird breast up on the platter, with the legs to the right and the neck to the left of the carver. Plates, glasses, and dishes should be placed well out of the way.

• Each piece of turkey as it is carved is laid on the platter's edge with the most attractive side up. No one is served until enough has been cut to serve each guest, with a little to spare. – Southwest Wave, November 1939

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and an Emperor's Title

According to Wikipedia, “Viscount Enomoto Takeaki was a Japanese samurai and admiral of the Tokugawa navy of Bakumatsu period, Japan, who remained faithful to the Tokugawa shogunate and fought against the new Meiji government until the end of the Boshin War. He later served in the Meiji government as one of the founders of the Imperial Japanese Navy.”– Public domain image of Viscount Enomoto

The Use of “Mikado” Obsolete

The name of Mikado is now an entirely obsolete Imperial title, the Japanese using the title of Kotei in Japanese, and Emperor when speaking to foreigners or in a foreign tongue. European countries frequently, however, still make use of the title Mikado, which is a breach of etiquette in Japanese estimation. Russia, for instance, still speaks of the Emperor of China as Bakudahan, and until a few years ago persisted in speaking of the Emperor of Japan as the Mikado, but during Viscount Enomoto's residency in Russia as Japanese Minister he informed the Russian government of its error and pointed out the historical reasons for this title being no longer used, since which time the Russian government has conformed to the use of the European title, Emperor. – Bridgeport Chronicle-Union, 1892

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia