Post Civil War Washington DC Society

“Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder.” – At some point between 1869 and 1877, according to the etiquette authorities of the era, the wives of the Supreme Court Justices stood alone at the top of precedence. The wife of the Chief Justice was at that time considered to be the First Lady of the United States, as the position of the U.S. President was essentially a temporary position. Supreme Court Justices have their jobs for life. A journalist took liberty with the title of First Lady in 1877, however, setting off a chain reaction of rebukes by those etiquette authorities in newly published etiquette books of the day. – Image (source- Find a Grave) of  Mr. & Mrs. (Amelia Champlin Warner) Morrison Waite. Morrison Waite was the 7th Chief Justice of the United States’ Supreme Court, from 1874 to 1888, which made Amelia Waite the actual First Lady in Washington D.C. at the time.

The Post Civil War Social Caste in Washington D.C.

The time has been, when our government was a small infant, that there was a fusion of the elements that go to make up what is called society here; but that time has passed away quite as completely as the domestic manners of dear Mrs. Madison. Lines and dots mark the social map as rigid and well defined in meaning as those that stand for the cities and towns on the geographical atlas. A Senator's wife stands on a point elevated above a member’s wife, and the chasm between them can no more be crossed than the celebrated river Styx. To picture this amiable fact, we will cite an actual occurrence in illustration. This little passage of arms came off between the wives of a Senator and a member, both of the husbands hailing from the Western part of the Union; but while the Senator is so small that he is lost in Congress like a needle in the hay, the member is one of the great political lights of the country, though, alas! alas! this significant fact could not help the matter.

The member's wife committed a grave error; in other words, she perpetrated a fearful mistake. She undertook to play with the social dice, and the dear little warm-hearted Illinois woman lost. What did she do? Listen, ye fates! She invited the Senator’s wife “to come and spend an evening socially with her.” She forgot the gulf that separates a Senator’s wife from a member’s. She forgot that she had only a two years’ lien on the public notice, while the woman she insulted held fast to the political plank six years from beginning to end. But this social rupture was speedily settled according to the code of fashionable life. 

The Senator's wife told her own dear “set” about the vicious faux pas, and the member’s unfortunate wife received sentence accordingly. In the capitals of all great nations the rules of etiquette are strictly enforced. The President and his family are lifted above the sentence accordingly. The President and his family are lifted above the sea of ceremony; and while everybody, from the Chief Justice to the least fraction of a ragged newsboy, can pay a visit to the White House, nothing is to be expected in return.

The masses can also pay visits of ceremony to the wives of Senators and members upon their reception days, but those dainty dames are not expected to make any returns for these civilities. In no case would a Senator’s wife call upon the wife of a member first; but etiquette peremptorily commands Mrs. Senator to return the call at a certain specified time. Some times one or both of these visits are made by card, these solemn facts at the time appearing to have no effect whatever upon the General Government. 

The wife of a Senator struck a key-note when she said: “If a member’s wife wants anything of me, she must come where I am.” In old feudal times, these little matters used to be settled by blood. Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder. –Washington Correspondent, 1869

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

19th C. Washington Societal Etiquette

Circa 1860 illustration of White House (south face) with its first greenhouse 

Washingtonian Social Etiquette

The wife of the chief-justice, and not the wife of the President, is the first lady in the land, and takes precedence of all others. She holds receptions and receives calls, but she alone is excluded from all duty of returning calls.

The life of a lady in society at Washington is exceedingly onerous, and more especially so if she be the wife of any official.

Next in rank comes the wife of the President.

Social Duties Of The President

It is made the duty of the President to give several state dinners and official receptions during each session of Congress. Besides these, there are the general receptions, at which time the White House is open to the public and every citizen of the United States has a recognized right to pay his respects to the President.

Presidential Receptions

On the days of the regular " levees" the doors of the White House are thrown open, and the world is indiscriminately invited to enter them.

No “court”-dress is required to make one presentable at this republican court, but every one dresses according to his or her own means, taste or fancy. The fashionable carriage- or walking-dress is seen side by side with the uncouth homespun and homemade of the backwoodsman and his wife.

Neither are there any forms and ceremonies to be complied with in gaining admittance to the presidential presence. You enter, an official announces you, and you proceed directly to the President and his lady and pay your respects. They exchange a few words with you, and then you pass on, to make room for the throng that is pressing behind you. You loiter about the rooms for a short time, chatting with acquaintances or watching the shifting panorama of faces, and then you go quietly out, and the levee is ended for you.

Private Call Upon The President

If any one wishes to make a private call upon the President, he will find it necessary to secure the company and influence of some official or special friend of the President. Otherwise, though he will be readily admitted to the White House, he will probably fail in obtaining a personal interview.

Mrs. John Jay, "the First First Lady" ~ John Jay was a New York politician who would become the first chief justice of the Supreme Court of the United States, a two-term governor of New York, and an influential diplomat abroad.  As the job of President is a temporary position, "the wife of the chief-justice, and not the wife of the President, is the first lady in the land, and takes precedence of all others."

Social Duties Of Cabinet Officers And Their Families

The ladies of the family of a Cabinet officer must hold receptions every Wednesday during the season from two or three o'clock to half-past five. On these occasions the houses must be open to all who choose to call. Refreshments and an extra number of servants are provided. The refreshments for these receptions may be plain, consisting of chocolate, tea, cakes, etc.

Every one who has called and left a card at a Wednesday reception is entitled to two acknowledgments of the call. The first must be a returning of the call by the ladies of the family, who at the same time leave the official card of the minister. The second acknowledgment of the call is an invitation to an evening reception.

The visiting-list of the family of a Cabinet minister cannot contain less than two or three thousand names.

Cabinet officers are also expected to entertain at dinners Senators, Representatives, justices of the Supreme Court, the diplomatic corps, and many other public officers, with the ladies of their families.

The season proper for receptions is from the first of January to the beginning of Lent. The season for dinners lasts until the adjournment of Congress.

The President is not expected to offer refreshments to the crowds who attend his receptions. The Vice-president and Speaker of the House are also freed from the expense of feeding the hungry public.

Social Duties Of Congressmen And Their Families

It is optional with Senators and Representatives, as with all officers except the President and members of the Cabinet, whether they shall “entertain.”

There is a vast expense in all this, but that is not all. The labor and fatigue which society imposes upon the ladies of the family of a Cabinet officer are fairly appalling. To stand for hours during receptions at her own house, to stand at a series of entertainments at the houses of others whose invitations courtesy requires should be accepted, and to return in person all the calls made upon her, are a few of the duties of the wife of a high official. It is doubtful if her husband, with the cares of state, leads so really laborious a life.

In Washington society one end of a card turned down denotes a call in person.

From “The Ladies' and Gentlemen's Etiquette, A Complete Manual of the Manners and Dress of American Society” by E. B. Duffey ~ 1877

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia