A Question of Fork Etiquette

“Excuse me, waiter, but why do well bred Americans permit themselves and their children to use the fork in the right hand? And, if no bread and butter plates are used, where should bread be laid during the meal?”

Watching the Forks

One of the questions that foreigners, especially English-bred people, most frequently ask regarding American manners is this: “Why do well bred Americans permit themselves and their children to use the fork in the right hand?” The fact is that in England, good table etiquette demands that the fork should be kept in the left hand. The knife is used, of course, in the right hand and it is regarded as bad form to shift the fork over to the right hand when the knife is not needed. 

Even in eating desserts the fork is kept in the left hand, frequently being used with a dessert spoon, which is held in the right hand. And children here, unless they are children of Europeans or of parents who affect English manners, are not warned against shifting the fork to the right hand for convenience. However, it is bad form from our point of view, as well as the English, to use the fork shovelwise, scooping up large mouthfuls of vegetables or meat upon it.

Well-bred persons take care how they hold the fork until it becomes second nature to hold it well. Even if the fork is small and your hand is large, avoid placing the handle in the palm of your hand as you would handle a small screw driver, as if your object were to get the best possible grip upon it. Do not hold on too far down the handle, but on the other hand, do not affect the over-dainty manner of holding it uncertainly very far up. 

When you have finished eating leave the fork on the side of the plate, sometimes downward.

When passing a plate for a second helping, place your knife and fork on the side of the plate, blade in or tines downward.

What Readers Ask...

“If no bread and butter plates are used, where should bread be laid during the meal?”

Usually on the plate, but if there is hardly room there is no harm in allowing a roll or fairly dry bread to rest on the table cloth beside the butter-pat.— The Sun, 1921

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for the Dessert Course

When your dessert consists of both harder and softer textures, a fork and spoon will be included and both will be used. (Tip: The spoon is not for your coffee or tea.)

How to Eat Dessert Gracefully and Properly

For many of us, dessert is the favorite course of the meal. There's always something to love about dessert!

The dessert utensils are at the top of your place setting.

When your dessert consists of both harder and softer textures, a fork and spoon will be included and both will be used.
(Tip: The spoon is not for your coffee or tea.) 


Here's how it's done.

The meal has ended, and dessert has been served.



Once dessert is served, move the spoon and fork down to either side of the plate - fork on the left and spoon on the right.
(Sometimes, a server will do this for you.)



The fork is placed in the palm of the left hand and the spoon is placed in the palm of the right hand.



The spoon first serves as a knife and the fork is used to steady the solid portion of the dessert.



The spoon is then re-positioned in the right hand, holding in ‘pencil’ position. The fork becomes a ‘mover’ assisting in positioning both the cake and the ice cream on the spoon.



The fork as a helper tool will remain steady in the left hand, and the spoon is loaded with a delicious bite.   (In other words, only the spoon will come to your mouth. The fork remains in your left hand.)

As with other courses, there are resting and close-out positions for your utensils.

The dessert resting position is your fork on the left side of the plate, and your spoon on the right as shown here.



The close-out position is the same as other courses, with fork and spoon diagonal on the plate, or in the 6 o'clock position.



Serve cake and ice cream or pie a la mode at your next family meal, and practice using both a fork and a spoon to enjoy your dessert.

Other times, if your dessert is solid, you only need a fork. If your dessert is liquid or soft, you only need a spoon.

If you are setting the table, include only the utensils that are needed to eat the particular dessert that is to be served.

A retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquette Encyclopedia