Etiquette of “La Danza Mexicana”

“… In the best society of the Mexican capital, girls are not permitted to engage in the dance except with their brothers or nearest of kin, not even with the lovers to whom they are betrothed, and married ladies only with their husbands— very sensible etiquette, by the way, but would be bettered if unmarried folk were prohibited from dancing it at all.”

One Experience Sufficient for a Life-Time

How the Mexican Dance Affected a Dignified New Yorker 

💃🏻🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏽💃🏻🕺🏽💃🏽🕺🏻💃🏻🕺🏽 

Bailes de Compadres

Congratulate me— for in the words of the immortal Webster, “I still live,” even after having participated in a Mexican dance! For an unmarried lady of social standing to attend a public ball of this description, though escorted by her father or brothers, is considered rather a daring thing to do yet last night's crowd attested that many do attend them. In the innocence of my heart, actuated by pure journalistic fervor in pursuit of information, I accepted the invitation— and now quite agree with that American who remarked, “A man may danza in the innocence of his heart just once.”

You ask, “What is la danza?” It is some thing impossible to define in cold black and white, to be read at long range amid prosaic surroundings; it could not occur any where but among these poetical passionate races of the tropics, and cannot even be understood by one of northern birth, unless he has lived here long enough to get something of the climate into his blood.

It is the most innocent looking dance in the world— no more harm in it, to merely look at, than in a champagne glass, or in the “unloaded pistol” which goes off at some unwary moment. And maybe murders your grandmother! The music is slow— so very slow that a Northern belle would re-belle at once; the quiet step is simply the balance of the dancing-master's quadrille, with the important addition that this is a “round dance.”

With this lazy step you move backward and forward, or gently turn around when ever the crowd gives you room, until you come face to face with another couple as sleepy as yourselves, with whom you execute that stupid “right hand across to cross over and back”— exactly as in our pinafore-and-pantalette days. Then the gentleman's arm encircles his partner's waist, she leans on his shoulder and gives her right hand to his left and in this little quadrille they balances until it is time to resume the tete-a-tete. This is all there is of it— and what could possibly appear more innocent?

But appearances are sometimes deceitful, and the dance depends altogether upon who dances it. Certainly, “the racquet” in a Northern ballroom (it wouldn't be possible here) looks fully as demoralizing but probably the vast difference lies in the fact that the participants in the dance are as unlike the dudes and debutantes of other climes as the lotus-flower differs from the hollyhock or the warmth of the tropic sun from the half glimmer of an aurora borealis. 

These creatures of impulse are no more to be judged by the same rules which apply to phlegmatic Anglo-Saxons than John Smith or Sarah Jones would enlist our sympathies if they behaved exactly as Romeo or Juliet. Therefore, it is that in the best society of the Mexican capital, girls are not permitted to engage in the dance except with their brothers or nearest of kin, not even with the lovers to whom they are betrothed, and married ladies only with their husbands— very sensible etiquette, by the way, but would be bettered if unmarried folk were prohibited from dancing it at all.—Special Record Union Correspondent, City of Mexico, June 29, 1887

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Etiquette of Dance, 1860

The greatest familiarity between persons of opposite sexes, is, a gentleman placing one hand on a lady’s waist, while she rests one hand on his shoulder and holds his disengaged hand in the other. 

Mrs. Swisshelm on Dancing – It is worthy of note, that those churches and people who most strenuously oppose dancing, have already encouraged and practiced it under other names. Like the temperance man who would not drink cider, but had no objection to a glass of apple juice, our opponents of dancing have their children taught the art under the name of Calisthenics, and practice it when it is called Plays. For it is a remarkable fact, that those old time favorites of religious communities, ‘Dear Sister Phoebe,’ ‘Ring Round Rosy,’ ‘All a Marching to Quebec,’ ‘The White Cockade,’ ‘Copenhagen,’ etc., etc., are, every one of them, cotillions and contra dances, performed to vocal and instrumental music. 

The difference between the religious dance, is that in the former, every man in the room is compelled, on pain of breach of etiquette, to kiss every woman in the room; and, vice versa, that it is quite in order for married women to sit down on the knees of young gentlemen, put their arms around their necks, bring two pair of lips together with a smack, and do any amount of hugging. While, in a profane dance, even those of most doubtful propriety, the greatest familiarity between persons of opposite sexes, is, a gentleman placing one hand on a lady’s waist, while she rests one hand on his shoulder and holds his disengaged hand in the other. The churches, therefore, who set up rules against dancing, are fairly and squarely committed to the doctrine that promiscuous dancing is all right, and pious, and innocent, provided it is accompanied by promiscuous kissing, with a suitable amount of hugging and general rough and tumble. While, without these refining and elevating additions it is an evil on evil, and that continually. 

There is no escaping this conclusion, for the anti-dancing churches and Christians are too openly committed in favor of these vulgar plays for an intelligent man to deny, that either they have acted blindly, or that the kissing and hugging sanctifies the dancing. Now, since all the experience of the past proves that people will dance, even grave and reverend deacons, we are in favor of the dancing without the etceteras. But, apart from all comparisons, we regard dancing as a positive good, as something which requires no apology, but is inherently right in itself, and efficient means of perfecting, refining and cultivating the crowning work of God’s creation, a means appointed and directly approved by the Creator himself! It is liable to abuse, and the object of reformers should be to regulate, not to abolish it. – St. Cloud Democrat, 1860

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Skirt Dancing

“When she danced in America in 1888, the critics were surprised to see a dancer who did not show her legs and breasts.” –Popular British “Skirt Dancer,” Letty Lind (source Wikipedia) 

Skirt dancing was a huge craze, popularized by dancers Kate Vaughan and Letty Lind, until around 1910. Fusing modesty and elements like the grace of ballet and footwork of step-dancing. Step-dancing was seen as lacking in grace and considered “common.” A dancer’s skill in the manipulation of up to 12 metres of fabric in the skirt of her costume was key. According to Wikipedia, “Skirt dancing’s advantage over ballet was that people could do it at home, and it became popular among all social classes. Lind was able to differentiate herself from other skirt dancers because she had the benefit of classical training that most of them did not, and she often added an acrobatic touch to the end of her dances.”

Skirt Dancing In Private Life 

Fashionable women are not all of them contented with society dancing. The interest in skirt, serpentine and Spanish dancing has been a caprice of the last two seasons, which is still in strong evidence. “I have on my books,” said one of the most prominent teachers of skirt dancing, “the names of many women who are well known in New York society. They come, some of them, under assumed names, and many of them with any excuse except the frank one of wanting to learn how to do the dance.” It is true, however, that many women do undertake stage dancing because they consider it excellent gymnastic exercise and beneficial to their health. Others practice it in connection with their Delsarte course. Others still think the supple movements will improve their gait and carriage, and still others take a serious and thorough course to reduce their weight. 

In the practice for skirt dancing, every muscle of the body is brought into active play, and superfluous flesh is kept down. Several well known New York actresses, whose duties never call for any sort of dancing, are adepts in the skirt steps, having learned them for this very purpose—to counteract a tendency to stoutness. “Women of all ages, from 16 to 50, are found in my classes, and the elder women are, many of them, as light and graceful as their younger classmates. All fancy they have a talent for the work, and many give evidence of having practiced at home before taking lessons. There are a number of small women's clubs and coteries of intimates whose existence is not suspected outside the initiated, at whose gatherings the skirt dance is done with varying proficiency by different members. Two that meet in lovely rooms on the top floor of Murray Hill homes count some of my pupils among their members, and they are delightful dancers. The devotion to skirt dancing has grown much this season over last, and the caprice shows no sign of abatement.” —New York Times, 1893

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia