Dining Implements, Etiquette and More

“Here’s something your mother probably never warned you about: sauce knives. Looking like a flattened-out spoon, this tricky little utensil— also called a sauce spoon— sits with other knives on the right side of the plate, in wait to help drizzle sauce on, say, a bite of salmon that you’ve secured on your fish fork.” — Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

The Ware and Tear of Formal Dining

Here’s something your mother probably never warned you about: sauce knives. Looking like a flattened-out spoon, this tricky little utensil— also called a sauce spoon— sits with other knives on the right side of the plate, in wait to help drizzle sauce on, say, a bite of salmon that you’ve secured on your fish fork.

If you can’t tell a fish fork from a pitchfork, take comfort in the fact that even the most cultured among us occasionally get flummoxed by an elegant table setting.

“Escargot clamps can be very challenging,” says Sean Loeffel, director of food and beverage at the Four Seasons Hotel, recalling the scene in “Pretty Woman” in which Julia Roberts accidentally catapults a garlicky mollusk across the room.

“I haven’t used an escargot clamp in probably 15 years,” he admits, “and I suspect there are many diners who would not be familiar with how to use it.”

Fortunately, even if you’re sitting down to a nine-course meal, you’ll probably only have to negotiate three courses’ worth of knives, forks and spoons at a time.

“Nine courses of silverware would be frightening, even for the most educated,” says Loeffel. “It also wouldn’t fit on the table. As a general rule, in order not to confuse the guest, servers never put out more than three courses of tableware at a time.”

Even so, as you sit down for that nine-course fete for, say, the queen mother herself, prepare to work your way through some 19 pieces of silverware over the course of the evening— or afternoon, when, according to the Tiffany sterling flatware catalog, you might come upon the afternoon teaspoon, as distinct from the teaspoon, ice cream spoon or coffee spoon.

But wait, there’s more. Those 19 pieces don’t include all the serving silverware shined up to parade past your table. Tiffany lists knives (cheese, bread, butter, cake), spoons (berry, sugar, salt, jelly, vegetable) and forks (lemon, olive and cold meat). Also making an appearance: ladles (gravy, punch and sauce), tongs (sugar, ice, asparagus), servers (flat, cheese, cake and butter) and possibly scissors (for grapes).

“Some chefs have a cunning sense of humor,” says Loeffel, who learned forks and spoons from his parents, who’d take him and his nine siblings out to breakfast— the least expensive restaurant meal— in order to teach table manners. “You’ll have a course where normally you’d use a knife and fork, and now some chefs are starting to serve a spoon with it as well, so the guest doesn’t miss out on the leftover sauce.”

And how would you know to use a spoon with your sauce? When in doubt, watch your host, says Loeffel. “We just did a luncheon where we served a coupe dish [that’s a sort of football-shaped, high-sided bowl for foods with hot sauces] and a spoon with it,” he says. “Everyone had their eye on the host so they knew what to do.”

In addition to keeping an eye on your host, other rules of culinary propriety include:

Work from the outside in. What your mother did tell you about silverware still applies. Start with the outside utensil and work your way in. The most common mistake is for diners to get rattled by the number of pieces of flatware and reach instinctively for the utensil closest to the plate. Don’t worry about the forks and spoons placed above your plate. They’re for dessert.

Knives and forks dine together. Even those secure in the knowledge that one should work from the outside in may still find it disconcerting to see seven pieces of silverware at their command. Know that for every fork at your place setting, you’ll also have a corresponding knife to your right. The spoon with the round bowl is most likely for soup (there are, however, different kinds of spoons depending on whether you’re served a cream soup [larger spoon] or bouillon). Pasta is often served with a fork and spoon to work that angel hair into a manageable bite.

Although Loeffel was brought up in the American style of putting the knife down and switching the fork to the right hand after cutting a piece of food, he says it is more correct to hold the knife and fork at the same time, one in each hand, as the Europeans do. “It makes more sense,” he says.

When you’re done with a course, place the knife and fork, handles facing out, at the 3 o’clock position on your plate. This will tell the server that you have finished eating.

Covet not thy neighbor’s bread plate. Or water glass. Or coffee cup. The bread plate is always to the left of a place setting. Glassware— water, wine, coffee cups and saucers— is always to the right.

According to Jill Cross, director of catering for the Beverly Hilton Hotel, one of the most common mistakes is for diners at a round table to assume control of the bread plate to their right instead of their rightful bread plate to the left. What happens next might best be termed a dining domino effect as everyone else at the table is forced to take the bread plate to their right. Unless, of course, a diner on the other side of the table has already staked out one to the left, which leaves someone without a bread plate altogether.

Another common dilemma: how to get butter from point A, the butter dish, to point B, your bread. Use the butter knife to retrieve a pat of butter as the dish is passed around the table. Place the butter on your bread plate, return the butter knife to the dish, then use your own knife to spread butter on your bread.

And if you do find yourself drawn into the who’s-got-my-bread-plate controversy, “adjust,” says Loeffel. “It’s not worth anyone getting embarrassed over it. Also, any server worth his weight will notice what’s happening and will adjust for you by bringing new silverware or another bread plate.” At their best, rules of table etiquette are designed for clarity, not one-upmanship. Consider, for example, the story credited to Queen Victoria, who, upon seeing an unsuspecting dinner guest pick up his finger bowl and drink from it, raised her own finger bowl to her lips and also drank. Taking her lead, the rest of the guests joined her.

And they all lived happily, perhaps not ever after, but at least through the dessert course. — By Debra Hotaling, Special to the Times, 1998

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

More Table Cover Etiquette 1909

The Proper Ways of Setting a Table for Luncheon and Dinner

My correspondent has requested that some information be given in The Modern Housekeepers page, in regard to table service. “Laying the Table” first requires attention. A heavy cover of felt or double faced canton flannel should be spread over the top of the table and securely fastened about the legs, which will prevent it from sliding about on the surface. This cover not only protects the top of the table, but deadens the sound made in setting down china and improves the appearance of the finest linen. Over this, spread the damask tablecloth, being sure to have the fold exactly in the center of the table, with opposite edges of the cloth at equal distances from the floor. At the center of the table place a growing plant, cut flowers or a dish of fruit. 

The plate, napkins, glasses and cutlery set in place for each person at the beginning of a meal are called “the cover.” The plate marks the center of each cover, and at least 25 inches, or better, 50 inches must be allowed for each individual cover at table and 15 or 16 inches in depth, which means that all glasses, plates, etc..., must be inside of an imaginary line, 15 or 16 inches from the edge or the table. Knives are placed at the right and forks to the left of the plate. The cutting edges of knives are towards the plate and the tines of the forks and bowls of the spoons are turned upward. Plates, knives forks and spoons are placed half an inch from the edge of the table; knives, forks and spoons are disposed in the order of use, the first to be used being farthest from the plate. Fresh knives and forks must not be put on the table during a course or laid on the clean plate to be set down before one at table. 

There are two styles of serving meals, the English and the Russian, and a third which perhaps meets the requirements of American living better than either, and since it embraces the best points of each, may be called a compromise. In the English style of service, the food is served from the table, the meat or fish, just as it is taken from the oven or kettle, being set before the host, who carves it and selects the portions desired by each. One or two vegetables are also served by some one at the table, and bread and butter, relishes, etc... also find a place upon the table, but aside from these, only one course appears at a time. 

The English style savors of hospitality, inasmuch as the guest receives the individual attention of the host, while in the Russian fashion the duty of supplying food to those at table devolves upon attendants and dinner is the meal for which this formal service is best adapted. In the Russian style, nothing appears upon the table except the centerpiece and the articles which compose the individual covers, although a bonbon dish or two is permissible. All food is served from the side; the attendants pass the food, separated into portions, to the left of those at table, for each to help himself, or made ready on individual plates. It is set down before each individual from the right. The “Compromise” style is a little less formal than the Russian and somewhat more so than the English. 

A breakfast table after the English fashion should be set thus: Place the breakfast plate and the cutlery half an inch from the edge of the table. A knife, with the cutting edge toward the plate should be placed at the right, and at the right of the knife a dessert spoon for cereal. A fork of breakfast size, with tines turned upward, is placed at the left of the plate. A tumbler for water should be set at the point of the knife, and beside it another for milk. At the point of the fork, place a small plate for bread or hot muffins and butter, and across this lay a small knife or “spreader.” The napkin is placed at the left of the fork: above the plate a dessert spoon, and above this a fruit napkin with a finger bowl beside it. Place salt and pepper sets and also carafes for water between each two covers. 

The required number of coffee cups and saucers are placed above the cover at the foot of the table, and frequently a large tray holds the whole coffee service and the dishes belonging to the cover. Near these coffee spoons are placed on a flat dish, also the cream pitcher and a bowl of cut sugar; sometimes, also stands for hot milk and coffee. Just before breakfast is announced the glasses should be filled with water, and cold bread; and butter should be placed upon the bread plates. There should also be an extra supply of these two articles upon the table. A dinner table for ‘the Russian service’ should be laid as above, until it comes to arranging the covers. For these use a plate of dinner size. Place a dinner knife at the right of the plate, and beyond this the spoon for soup; this may be a table or dessert spoon or a round bowled soup spoon.

If raw oysters or clams are to be served, lay an oyster fork across the soup spoon, or beyond it to the right. When canapés take the place of oysters, a small fork takes the place of the oyster fork. On the left place the forks in the order of use, the one to be used ; first being farthest from the plate, as, fork for fish, next for entree and roast. Since this array of cutlery is enough to occupy the space allotted to the cover. Forks for additional entrees and the forks and spoons needed for the dessert service must be passed when needed. 

At the left of the forks lay the napkin, a roll or piece of bread between its folds, but in sight. Sometimes a roll is laid on top of the napkin, but preferably it is partially covered. Near the point of the dinner knife, set the glass of water, and beside this the glass for Apolllnaris or charged water. If wine is served the glass for water is set nearly in front of the plate, the glass for sauterne at the tip of the soup spoon and the glass for sherry between the three, forming a half circle. Back of these, forming a second half circle, with the sauterne glass as the first in the circle, place the glasses for champagne, and burgundy to accompany the roast and game, respectively. Salt and pepper cups and spoons, or shakers; should be placed between each two covers. The floral decorations and the candelabra or candlesticks, placed symmetrically upon the table, complete the laying of the table. 

For a luncheon to be served after the “compromise” style the cloth is laid in accordance with the foregoing directions. On the centerpiece in the center of the table stands a bowl of flowers. The plate line is an imaginary line extending around the table 15 or 16 inches from the edge; inside this are placed candelabra or candles at equal points from each other and the center of the table, und between these are dishes of salted almonds and bonbons. Olives are served upon bits of ice, and should not be placed upon the table. When this much is done the following articles should be set in place: Service or place plates (10 inches in diameter). Spoons for grapefruit. (Set these above the plate or first in order at the right.) Spoons for bouillon. Forks for oysters (those used for raw oysters). Small forks for timbales. Knives and forks for fillets of beef. Salad forks. Tumblers for water. Glasses for wine or Apollinaris.  Napkins. (Later on insert a roll or piece of bread between the folds). Individual butter plates. (Supply balls of butter later on.) 

When luncheon is announced, the following items should be in order upon the side board: A carafe of chilled water, serve with or without a bowl of ice, in bits, with spoon. Extra, supply of butter. Extra supply of bread. Sandwiches to serve with oysters. Olives in fancy dish. Cruets of oil and vinegar. Salad fork and spoon. Ice cream forks or spoons. Cut sugar for coffee. Finger bowls on plates, doilies between. Upon a side table there should be a tablespoon for serving timbales; a carving fork of small size and a tablespoon for serving beef; after dinner coffee spoons: a tray covered with a doily and two or three napkins and towels for emergencies. The bouillon cups and plates for timbales and fillets of beef should be in the warming oven. The plates for the salads and ices should be in the refrigerator. A second side table or a dinner wagon set on casters expedites the service.— J. Mabel Miller, 1909

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia