Post Civil War Washington DC Society

“Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder.” – At some point between 1869 and 1877, according to the etiquette authorities of the era, the wives of the Supreme Court Justices stood alone at the top of precedence. The wife of the Chief Justice was at that time considered to be the First Lady of the United States, as the position of the U.S. President was essentially a temporary position. Supreme Court Justices have their jobs for life. A journalist took liberty with the title of First Lady in 1877, however, setting off a chain reaction of rebukes by those etiquette authorities in newly published etiquette books of the day. – Image (source- Find a Grave) of  Mr. & Mrs. (Amelia Champlin Warner) Morrison Waite. Morrison Waite was the 7th Chief Justice of the United States’ Supreme Court, from 1874 to 1888, which made Amelia Waite the actual First Lady in Washington D.C. at the time.

The Post Civil War Social Caste in Washington D.C.

The time has been, when our government was a small infant, that there was a fusion of the elements that go to make up what is called society here; but that time has passed away quite as completely as the domestic manners of dear Mrs. Madison. Lines and dots mark the social map as rigid and well defined in meaning as those that stand for the cities and towns on the geographical atlas. A Senator's wife stands on a point elevated above a member’s wife, and the chasm between them can no more be crossed than the celebrated river Styx. To picture this amiable fact, we will cite an actual occurrence in illustration. This little passage of arms came off between the wives of a Senator and a member, both of the husbands hailing from the Western part of the Union; but while the Senator is so small that he is lost in Congress like a needle in the hay, the member is one of the great political lights of the country, though, alas! alas! this significant fact could not help the matter.

The member's wife committed a grave error; in other words, she perpetrated a fearful mistake. She undertook to play with the social dice, and the dear little warm-hearted Illinois woman lost. What did she do? Listen, ye fates! She invited the Senator’s wife “to come and spend an evening socially with her.” She forgot the gulf that separates a Senator’s wife from a member’s. She forgot that she had only a two years’ lien on the public notice, while the woman she insulted held fast to the political plank six years from beginning to end. But this social rupture was speedily settled according to the code of fashionable life. 

The Senator's wife told her own dear “set” about the vicious faux pas, and the member’s unfortunate wife received sentence accordingly. In the capitals of all great nations the rules of etiquette are strictly enforced. The President and his family are lifted above the sentence accordingly. The President and his family are lifted above the sea of ceremony; and while everybody, from the Chief Justice to the least fraction of a ragged newsboy, can pay a visit to the White House, nothing is to be expected in return.

The masses can also pay visits of ceremony to the wives of Senators and members upon their reception days, but those dainty dames are not expected to make any returns for these civilities. In no case would a Senator’s wife call upon the wife of a member first; but etiquette peremptorily commands Mrs. Senator to return the call at a certain specified time. Some times one or both of these visits are made by card, these solemn facts at the time appearing to have no effect whatever upon the General Government. 

The wife of a Senator struck a key-note when she said: “If a member’s wife wants anything of me, she must come where I am.” In old feudal times, these little matters used to be settled by blood. Only a short time ago a fierce war was raging between the wives of Supreme Judges and those of Senators, each side contending for the precedence. After a whole winter’s contention, it was decided that both combatants should stand upon the same round of the social ladder. –Washington Correspondent, 1869

 🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

How Presidential Etiquette Changed in 1884

 

No subject is discussed with more animation or intense feeling among society people here than that of who shall go in first with the President to dinner, or who shall stand nearest to the Lady of the White House during receptions... — Grover Cleveland, a bachelor when he first became President, had to depend upon someone other than a wife to preside over the White House during his first administration. His choice was his sister, Rose. Miss Rose Elizabeth Cleveland, was deemed a young woman of “fine culture, high attainments and superior character.”

—Photo source, Pinterest 

A KNOTTY POINT OF ETIQUETTE

No subject is discussed with more animation or intense feeling among society people here than that of who shall go in first with the President to dinner, or who shall stand nearest to the Lady of the White House during receptions. Little factions are found at all entertainments, contending for the wife of the Secretary of State as against the wife of the Speaker, or for the reverse of that order, and politeness is sometimes strained during the heat which these disputes cause. The passage of the Senate Bill regulating the Presidential succession has given rise to a new line of discussion.


A writer for the Sunday Herald talks seriously about the consequences of the Bill, if it should become a law, and his conclusions indicate the thought which rises uppermost in the society mind upon the study of it. He says, “If the Bill— Senate No. 22— to provide for the performance of the duties of the office of President in case of the removal, death, resignation, or inability both of the President and Vice President, which was passed in the Senate January 21, becomes a law by being passed in the House of Representatives also, and signed by the President — it is now thought by no means probable that the House will agree to it— the guests on all state occasions in future where the same officials are present as were at the President's dinner party on January 30, will have to be seated as they were on that occasion, for the Cabinet, when that Bill becomes a law, will outrank all others save the President and Vice President.”


This is conceded by a prominent Senator whose judgment in matters of etiquette has never been disputed. He says however, that, “Until that Bill does become a law no one, not even the President, should reverse the code of etiquette by putting the Cabinet above the Speaker and Senators on State occasions. The Bill referred to provides that in case of vacancies in the two highest offices, the Secretary of State, or, if there being none, or in case of his removal, death, resignation, or inability, then the Secretary of the Treasury and the Bill continues to name the members of the Cabinet in their order as eligible to the succession if those above them in the Cabinet should be removed, etc..., shall act as President until the disability of the President or Vice President is removed, or a President shall be elected, etc... This Bill, if passed, will revolutionize official society in Washington, reversing all the laws of etiquette between officials which have prevailed for many years.” — the New York Times, February, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of D.C.’s Court Society

Official, fashionable functions in Washington have of late years, assumed much of the nature of court life at Old World capitals, and, to that extent, Washington society is officially “The Society” of the country.  For that reason, largely, many wealthy people of the United States are building palatial homes at the national capital, with the hope of getting admission into the official Four Hundred.The fact that the diplomatic corps contains many titled Europeans, and that the general social and diplomatic standing of the corps has been gradually rising of late years, through the evolution of young Ministers to Embassadorial rank, and the enlargement of their embassies, together with the desire, born not so many years ago, of leading diplomats of the world to serve at Washington, has tended to increase the importance of the capital's official society.

Young newspaper woman becomes Social Secretary to the wife of Vice President Fairbanks

One of the most important women in Washington to-day is Miss Margaret Wade, who has recently been appointed social secretary to Mrs. Fairbanks, wife of the Vice President. To those unfamiliar with social life at the national capital— and every year Washington is growing more and more to be the social center and inspiration of the country— such an announcement may seem strange, says the Philadelphia North American. One, however, has only to bear in mind the fact that official, fashionable functions in Washington have of late years, assumed much of the nature of court life at Old World capitals, and, to that extent, Washington society is officially “The Society” of the country.  

For that reason, largely, many wealthy people of the United States are building palatial homes at the national capital, with the hope of getting admission into the official Four Hundred. The fact that the diplomatic corps contains many titled Europeans, and that the general social and diplomatic standing of the corps has been gradually rising of late years, through the evolution of young Ministers to Embassadorial rank, and the enlargement of their embassies, together with the desire, born not so many years ago, of leading diplomats of the world to serve at Washington, has tended to increase the importance of the capital's official society. In this, naturally, the wife of the Vice President, next to the wife of the President, is the leader. These two women are arbiters, in a large degree, of the social fate of aspiring Washingtonians, and of people from other-parts of the country, who seek entree into “court life.”

Mrs. Fairbanks is expected to entertain considerably during the term of her husband. It is of vast importance, therefore, that social aspirants have their names upon her list, not only for the privilege and pleasure of attending the functions given by her, but because the stamp of her approval is necessary as a qualification to the ranks of official fashion. But, once in a generation has the Vice Presidency afforded to its occupant's wife the full privileges and social powers that attend the exalted position. For that reason alone, Mrs. Fairbanks has an exceptional opportunity before her. Many Washingtonians still remember with pleasure the quiet elegance of Mrs. Levi P. Morton's entertainments and the charming atmosphere of the Morton home.

For the short time during which she was the second lady of the land, Mrs. Garret A. Hobart worthily met all the traditions and responsibilities that centered about her position, but Vice President Hobart's career, was cut short by death. Mrs. Roosevelt was wife of a Vice President only about six months, and during the season of the year when social festivities are usually relaxed. Vice President Stevenson was not an elaborate entertainer. Mr. Hendricks, like Mr. Hobart, died in office. Vice President Arthur was a widower, but had there been a Mrs. Arthur, her social reign as a wife of the second highest official would have been almost the counterpart of Mrs. Roosevelt's experience. 

Upon Miss Wade, therefore, as social secretary to Mrs. Fairbanks, will devolve important duties that are almost without precedent within the memory of the present generation. In the first place, she must pass upon the eligibility of every aspirant to position upon Mrs. Fairbanks’ visiting list, because the wife of the Vice President will leave almost everything to her judgment. Miss Wade must, and does, thoroughly understand all the intricate questions of procedure and precedent. She knows who should be invited to various functions, how guests should be seated at table, and all the other niceties of “court life.” For, after all, even in republican America, official life at Washington is largely a replica of that at European courts.

This important and busy young lady is a native of Pennsylvania, having been born at Elizabethtown, in the northern part of Lancaster County. Ten years ago, she went to Washington and experienced splendid training for her present position as social editor of a leading capital newspaper for several years. She has also traveled extensively abroad, and is well acquainted with social etiquette in foreign countries. It is understood that Miss Wade has literary aspirations, and hopes in time to be able to devote herself to writing fiction. She is also intensely interested In the study of social economy, which accounts for her having been one of the few women jurors in that division at the Louisiana Purchase Exposition, where she served as secretary of the group dealing with the betterment of working women, of which the only other woman juror was the Countess of Aberdeen. — San Francisco Call, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Washington Etiquette

At a young folks’ dinner at Chevy Chase, Miss Alice Roosevelt arrived late. Upon her entry of the dining room, “all the guests arose, as if by common consent, and remained standing until Miss Roosevelt had been seated.” A new precedent was said to have been established. Was it? — A hand-tinted photograph of Alice Roosevelt (by Frances Benjamin Johnston). This was taken around the time of her debut, in 1903.
 — photo source, Pinterest

A Momentous Question 

SOME people at Washington apparently find time hanging so heavily on their hands that they are driven to all sorts of expedients to kill it. Just now they are gravely discussing the question whether etiquette demands that a company shall rise when a member of the President a family enters the room. The St. Louis Globe-Democrat kindly seeks to help them out of their difficulty, and does so in that fashion. 

This ponderous subject of doubt was precipitated by a young folks’ dinner at Chevy Chase, at which Miss Alice Roosevelt arrived late. Upon her entry of the dining room, “all the guests arose, as if by common consent, and remained standing until Miss Roosevelt had been seated.” Now, a strong party formed who declare that the precedent has been established and that a new rule of behavior in the presence of members of the White House family must be promulgated. We hope to see this weighty matter settled right, and it should be settled promptly. 

We do not wish to be doubtfully wavering between a sitting and an upright posture while we are talking over matters with the French or German ambassador, should Kermit Roosevelt roll his hoop into the front hall, and it is of the highest of importance to know exactly what to do when he spills a pocketful of marbles on the floor, which will likely enough roll under all the heavy furniture. Should we at once rise and remain standing until he finds them all? It may be that the court etiquette set up by the boys and girls at the Chevy Chase dinner will be relaxed sufficiently to allow us to go down on our hands and knees and help Kermit hunt for his marbles. We should enjoy it much more. 

When we consider the size of the President’s family, we are somewhat alarmed at the possibilities of this new rule, and are inclined to question the wisdom of the nice little tennis boys in blue coats and white pantaloons and the sweet girls in fluffy dresses who have thus suddenly attempted to bring about this fatiguing innovation at court. We guess everybody over 19 years of age will be excused from getting up, won't they? — Sacramento Union and Daily Bee, 1902 

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washington State Dinner Procedure

The question of official rank and procedure upon occasions of receptions and more especially at dinner parties, is one of the most perplexing, as well as one of the most necessary, for newcomers in Washington to master in an understanding manner. 

The President's place at table on the occasion of a State Dinner is the middle seat on the north side of the table. The place for his wife is directly facing him across the board on the south side of the table. The seats on the right and left of the President and his wife, are the especial places of honor. It is etiquette for the guests to remain standing until the President and his wife are seated. At a State Dinner it is the duty of the President’s wife to make the move to indicate that the dinner is at an end. Until such move has been made the guests must remain seated. 

The question of official rank and procedure upon occasions of receptions and more especially at dinner parties, is one of the most perplexing, as well as one of the most necessary, for newcomers in Washington to master in an understanding manner. At a State Dinner given by the President to the Cabinet, the place of honor is given the Vice-President, and the second to the Secretary of State. At a dinner at which the guests include the members of the Cabinet and the Chief Justice, the latter can, with propriety, be seated between the Secretary of the Interior and the Secretary of Agriculture. 

Generally, this is not done, but if so desired, the seating at the dinner can be thus arranged, for the reason that the law regulating the Presidential succession was passed prior to the creation of the office of Secretary of Agriculture. As a consequence the latter is not in the line of Presidential succession, and at a dinner to the Cabinet the Chief Justice is entitled to rank him. The Vice President ranks the Chief Justice at a dinner party, as well as upon all other state occasions. Should it happen that at a Cabinet dinner, at which the President, the Vice President and the Secretary of State were present, the guests including an Ambassador, the foreigner is entitled to rank the Secretary of State. 

At an unofficial party at which a member of the Cabinet or of the Supreme Court is present, the place of honor must be given the official as a mark of proper respect for the office represented. Too much care cannot be exercised in this respect. In the event of a host or a hostess being perplexed on this subject, a plan of the table should be drawn, and, together with a list of the guests, submitted to one of the officials of the private secretaries at the White House.

The President of the United States when entering a carriage, irrespective of who may be his companion, must always enter the carriage first and occupy the seat at the right hand. This etiquette is exactly the reverse of that for any other official of the United States. Should the President be accompanied by his wife and a third person, the wife must occupy the seat beside the President, and the third person ride upon the opposite seat. The President’s wife in driving with a friend, irrespective of the official or social standing of that friend, must always follow the rule for the President in entering the carriage first and of occupying the seat of honor on the right. 

It is etiquette to remain standing in the presence of the President or the mistress of the White House, as long as either of them stands. When, however, the mistress of the White House invites a guest to sit or to remain after a reception and take part in any informal entertainment that may follow, such invitation is in the nature of a command. In addition to the state receptions, it is customary for the wife of the President to designate certain Saturday afternoons during the season upon which, from 3 to 5 oclock, the general public is received. These receptions are not obligatory upon the wife of the President, and can, upon her discretion, be altogether omitted from the season’s program. – Sacramento Daily News, 1897

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Washington’s Etiquette Obligations

News photographers crowd in to take photos of the White House state dining room tables set for a formal State Dinner. – Originally, White House tables were very long and rectangular. The round tables were the idea of former First Lady, Jacqueline Kennedy, who felt round tables spread throughout the room would be more conducive to conversations. They have remained this way ever since.

Social Obligations That the President's Wife Cannot Escape 

The etiquette of Washington life in its official, diplomatic and social phases is truly exacting even to those who keep to the head and front in the obligations of their own small circle. Therefore, how much more puzzling it must of necessity be to one who, like Mrs. McKinley, has been practically transplanted from the environment of invalidism to the position and duties that devolve upon the wife of the President: To her there must come many moments of indecision, and a faux pas committed is heralded from one end of the United States to the other. 

Therefore, it is well for all American women to be told what would be expected of them if some day they should become First Ladies of the land, for in this democratic country there is a chance for all of them to occupy the exalted position into which Mrs. McKinley has just stepped. The wife of the President is the one woman in official life exempt from making a first call, as during her husband’s administration she is the First Lady of the land, upon whom every American as well as every foreigner of distinction.

Washington must pay the mark of respect of a first call. When the wife of an ex-President arrives in Washington she must at once make the first call at the White House. The President's'wife must then return that call within the period of three days. The courtesy is greater when the call is returned the following day. When a member of royalty or person of any exalted rank arrives in Washington, it is etiquette for such person to make a first call at the White House. This ceremonial call generally lasts about five minutes, and in the event of such caller being a woman has to be returned by the wife of the President within three hours. In official circles dinner cards designating the place at table are written with the name of the office of the person for whom intended, as “The Vice-President,” “The British Ambassador,” etc. 

At the beginning of each season, generally in the latter part of December, the official list of dinner parties to be given at the White House is made out by one of the private secretaries after due consultation with the President. The order of official entertainments at the White House is given each season as follows: January 1, the President’s reception from 11 a. m. to 2. p. m. The first State Dinner is in honor of the cabinet. The first state evening reception is in honor of the Diplomatic Corps, from 9 to 11 oclock. The second State Dinner is in honor of Congress and the Judiciary. The third State Dinner is in honor of the Supreme Court. The third state reception is in honor of the Army, Navy and Marine Corps. The fourth evening reception is in honor of the public. For this reception, no cards are issued. 

At the State Dinners, invitations are generally sent to a limited number of the resident society of Washington or other large cities, such as may be selected by the President or his wife for the dinner. An invitation to a State Dinner is equivalent to a command, in as much as it should be accepted, even if in so doing another previously accepted invitation has to be declined. When, on account of illness, death in the family or absence from the city, it is found impossible to attend a State Dinner, the reason should be stated in the reply to the invitation. At State Dinners, the President does not make his appearance in the East Room, where the guests are received, until the exact hour at which the dinner takes place. The President's wife, on such occasions, precedes him to the East Room five or ten minutes in advance of the time set for the dinner, in order to greet the guests as they arrive. 

When the signal is given for the company to pass down the corridor ito the State Dining Room, the President leads with such guest of honor as has been selected in accordance with the requisite official rank necessary for the occasion. The President always leads the way at any dinner or entertainment he may attend. The President's wife always walks last at a State Dinner, her partner having been selected with the same due regard to rank as prevailed in the selection of the President's dinner companion.– Sacramento Daily Union, 1897

 Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Will Rogers on Washington Etiquette

Henry Lewis Stimson, was an American statesman, lawyer and politician. Over his long career, he emerged as a leading figure in the foreign policy of the United States, serving in Republican and Democratic administrations. He served as Secretary of War (1911–1913) under President Taft, Secretary of State (1929–1933) under President Hoover, and Secretary of War (1940–1945) under both Presidents Franklin D. Roosevelt and Truman.

Rogers Remarks About Social Ratings 

NEW YORK, April 3. (To the Editor of The Sun): We used to brag on the fact that, unlike England, we had no different classes or ratings in this country, and here Secretary Stimson is called on to referee a bout in Washington’s table etiquette. Washington can't go out to dinner till they decide who shall sit next to who at the diplomatic dinners. They ought to feed ‘em Los Angeles style, slip everybody a plate and if they can't find the grub, why he wouldn't be much of a diplomat. I attended a gridiorn dinner where the President was, and they seated the diplomats according to what they owe us. England, France, Belgium and Italy were near the President, and the nations that didn't owe us a cent were at the foot of the table. I told ‘em “You all better borrow something or you will never meet Coolidge.” Yours, Will Rogers in the San Bernardino Sun, 1929

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Washingtonian Society Etiquette

Hosting afternoon teas was one of the social duties of Congressmen and their families. Life could be exceedingly onerous for Congressional wives in the Victorian era Washington social scene –“It is optional with Senators and Representatives, as with all officers except the President and members of the Cabinet, whether they shall ‘entertain.’ There is a vast expense in all this, but that is not all. The labor and fatigue which society imposes upon the ladies of the family of a Cabinet officer are fairly appalling. To stand for hours during receptions at her own house, to stand at a series of entertainments at the houses of others whose invitations courtesy requires should be accepted, and to return in person all the calls made upon her, are a few of the duties of the wife of a high official. It is doubtful if her husband, with the cares of state, leads so really laborious a life. In Washington society one end of a card turned down denotes a call in person.” –E.B. Duffy

 

House Speaker and Mrs. Henderson have precipitated another squabble in connection with social precedence at Washington and not a few old-fashioned citizens there are once more unwilling listeners to discussion of what the ultra-fashionables regard as an important issue. Rules of society etiquette at the capital, as interpreted by those who take a deep interest in such matters, provide that the Speaker must not be invited to meet other members of the House. Therefore, he and Mrs. Henderson have refused several invitations to dinner where another was to be the honored guest, and as a result there is quite a tempest in the social teapot. – Los Angeles Herald, 1900

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Diplomacy and Precedence

“The waves of the tempest in the samovar have subsided and the bits of lemon float serenely upon the placid surface of the brewing in eggshell cups. The new matrons, debutantes, daughters and belles may not have known it, but they need never to have fluttered a single flutter or puzzled their pretty brains for a moment... In this glorious country of ours, which we are proud to call absolutely democratic, and to whose private, and semi-private social functions, no rigid lines of dogmatic court etiquette are known, we have declared with vaunting vanity, the social gospel of the national capital is made, hammered, riveted and clinched with fastenings more stern than steel, by the chieftains who surround the President.”

Precedence: The Burning Topic of the Hour at Washington D.C.

Aroused by the Fact That Lady Pauncefote Led the New Year's Reception at the White House – Cabinet Dictates; Society Dare Not Disobey –By a Woman in Official Life at Washington

QUITE a tempest in a teapot it was while it lasted, to certain matrons, debutantes, daughters and belles newly launched upon Washington society, and a flutter of agnation deeper under the surface than it appeared outwardly was the result of considerable nervousness that followed the first official function of the season. That Lady Pauncefote should have led at the New Year's reception in the White House seems a slight incident, but that it overthrew or waved aside the very gospel of Washington society became apparent in the not too silent attitude in which it was subsequently regarded. But it is all over now. The waves of the tempest in the samovar have subsided and the bits of lemon float serenely upon the placid surface of the brewing in eggshell cups. The new matrons, debutantes, daughters and belles may not have known it, but they need never to have fluttered a single flutter or puzzled their pretty brains for a moment.

In this glorious country of ours, which we are proud to call absolutely democratic, and to whose private, and semi-private social functions, no rigid lines of dogmatic court etiquette are known, we have declared with vaunting vanity, the social gospel of the national capital is made, hammered, riveted and clinched with fastenings more stern than steel, by the chieftains who surround the President. The Cabinet dictates, and society dare not disobey. More than that, the Cabinet has swayed its social scepter these many years, and is, in its turn, compelled to defer to the rigidly established rules laid down by court chamberlains in other parts of the world.

If Mrs. Senator doesn't know how her diplomatic guests are to be placed, like as not, they will attend to that matter themselves. For they know, and their courts insist that they shall know, just how to fall in line at the functions. In order, however, that Mrs. Senator may not betray her quandary as a novice, she has merely to read the Cabinet's order and to consult the diplomatic list, which is compiled by the Department of State, in accordance with precedence established on the lines adopted at the Vienna Congress of 1815. 

Herr von Holleben, the German Embassador, has had some little difficulty in explaining that Lady Pauncefote should have assumed first place on the New Year's reception in the White House in the absence of her husband, the dean of the Diplomatic Corps. The suggestion that she occupy the place that Lord Pauncefote would have been in did not meet the approval of diplomats, who would as soon violate an international law as the ironclad rules of their social training and instruction. The idea that the representative of a country really does represent the regimes in power, is apparently quite forgotten at times, in what we may call our national desire to have things “go smoothly.” 

There is a story told of a dinner given in Washington when the wife of the English Embassador was taken in by, or rather assigned to, the escort of the young son of the house, the reason given being that he was the only “heir apparent.” Like most of the stories about precedence, this cannot be verified, but it serves as a capital anecdote to relate. It will be remembered that at the time of General Grant's funeral, there was a most serious discussion anent who should lead, the English Embassador or the Vice President, and it was said the only way to set the difficulty was to let the Embassador ride on the hearse.

 The rule that the foreign Embasaador who has held his office for the longest term of years is the dean, and ranks first, has simplified matters somewhat, for none can be found to cavil at so practical a rule. The rule as to the wife of each Minister is carried out in the same order. The rule that an Embassador or Minister shall always take in to dinner the wife of someone of rank is rarely ever broken. Another of the Washington stories is to the effect that one daring young hostess gave a Minister a place between two young and pretty girls, and when sharply called to task for having done so by some of the women present, replied that she thought “the poor man had had such a hard winter of it, without any fun, she was unwilling to have him go back to his court without one enjoyable dinner, and she “had sent for him before the dinner and asked him what he wished.”

Every hostess needs to know her “Washington” now, for the sharp eyes that are watching the newly launched, especially, are very tenterhooks to she who may inadvertently “put her foot into it.” Social precedence is the grammar, the arithmetic, the algebra of the woman who would, or who must, entertain. ‘Must,’ sounds a bit harsh, perhaps, to the lay mind, but “must” it is, for the laws of the Medes and Persians were no more impregnable than the inflexible edict, backed by the Cabinet, to which even the “First Lady” must yield. Mrs. Roosevelt must hold just so many public receptions; the wives of Cabinet members must entertain at intervals. None has dared defy, or will ever one ignore this requirement.   

The formal, official entertainments are past; but there still remain the semi-official functions, and in these must the statute of social precedence be regarded no less scrupulously. At even a private entertainment, must the rights of diplomatists be observed with the nicest delicacy. Indeed, in the light of the adequate means at the disposal of a hostess for her guidance, an error in this matter would seem to be inexcusable. Of course, the “newly launched” are not supposed to know, offhand or intuitively, the exact seniority of service upon which depends the precedence of members of the Diplomatic Corps. That they may learn, the Department of State in this Government, under which democracy of social relations is fondly supposed to be absolute issues a little book for limited circulation among those who may be called upon to face what would, without its aid, prove to be a dilemma. – San Francisco Call, 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

D.C.’s “Green Book” Etiquette

The etiquette behind why Jimmy Carter and Liz Taylor were in, and Gerald Ford was out of the 1977 edition of the Washington D.C. Green Book. – Founder Helen Ray Hagner created the social registry, called “the Green Book,” in 1930. It is an annual “who’s who” in our nation’s capital. A comprehensive list of Washington D.C.’s elite. The book currently includes some 5,500 names, addresses (with winter and summer homes), phone numbers, maiden names and even children’s schools. According to Hagner’s great-grandson, when interviewed by the Washington Post, one cannot pay, nor bribe their way into the book. Many have tried over the years. And if one is on the list, there’s no guarantee of staying there. VIPs have been dropped from the book. They even claim to be very careful about who gets to buy a copy each fall, so mind your P’s and Q’s!

WASHINGTON (AP) - Jimmy Carter is in. So are Liz Taylor and Henry Kissinger. But Jerry Ford is out. And Bert Lance is in barely. The Green Book, the 1978 Washington Social Register of who counts and who doesn't in the nation's capital, is off the presses. Carter wasn't listed last year, but he's in this year because he lives at the most prestigious address in town the White House. Actress Elizabeth Taylor is in because she married potential senatorial candidate, former Navy secretary and Virginia estate-owner John Warner, who also owns a house in Georgetown. Former President Gerald R. Ford isn't in this year because he moved out of town after he left the White House. But former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger made the list because he still lives in the city. Lance, who resigned under fire as Carter's budget director, doesn't live here any more, but he left town after the social register was printed. 

Known as the Green Book because of its fuzzy, Kelly green cover, the social list contains most White House executives, members of Congress, the Supreme Court, ambassadors, party givers and upper crust. And it gives the dos and don’ts of capital etiquette. One of its most useful functions is that it serves as a handy telephone directory for many of those who find it socially unacceptable to list their telephone numbers in the local telephone book. Addresses, too, are listed. Except, say Green Book staff members, for a select few, like Chief Justice Warren Burger, who considers it a security risk for folks to know where he lives. The book says his address is: Supreme Court of the United States, 20503. For $31.50 you, too, can get this nifty little guide on whom to seat below the salt (assistant chiefs of protcol); how to address Rep. Thomas P. O'Neill of Massachusetts (My dear Mr. Speaker); and what it means when someone leaves you a calling card enscribed “P.P.” (pour présenter, or, if you no parlez Francais “to introduce.”) 

But if you have to send an invitation to a man and his wife, watch out if she’s one of those liberated types, like Deputy Director of Action, Mary King, who keeps her maiden name. The Green Book says King is really Mrs. Peter Bourne. If asked however, Mrs. Peter Bourne insists she is Mary King. “We refuse to get into the business of listing people this way,” said Jean Shaw Murray, the Green Book's new publisher. “It isn't correct, and we won't be pushed into it.” Murray took over as publisher this year from her mother, Carolyn Hagner Shaw, who died last spring. – San Bernardino Sun, 1977

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

White House Etiquette of Precedence

The U.S.’s only foreign-born Secretary of State, Henry Kissinger served (1973-77) under Presidents Nixon and Ford. After 4 influential years as special adviser on national security affairs, when he became Secretary of State, Kissinger pioneered the art of “Shuttle Diplomacy,” traveling hundreds of thousands of miles, in search of peace. Of his wife, Nancy, on their Middle East trip, 1974’s People magazine said, “Throughout the mission she behaved as if her role as tireless, inquisitive, unfailingly courteous tourist could actually help the peace negotiations. She visited the souk or old market in Damascus, chatted with an Israeli soldier wounded in the Yom Kippur War, and conversed in animated, fluent French with a Franciscan archeologist at the site of the Capernaum synagogue on the Sea of Galilee, where Jesus began his teachings. As the protracted diplomatic maneuvering neared its close, Nancy Kissinger drew the kind of accolade missing in U.S. diplomacy since the Kennedy years. “More people here,” Premier Golda Meir said in her farewell toast, “now talk about Nancy than Doc.”

More Etiquette of Washington DC Circles

Custom does not require that the wife of the President of the United States should return official calls. Exception is made in the case of visiting Royalty. The wives of the foreign Ambassadors should make the first calls upon the wife of the Vice President, as should the wives of the cabinet officials. At functions given by officials of foreign governments at Washington, the wife of the Secretary of State takes precedence over the wives of the foreign Ambassadors.– Los Angeles Herald, 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Common Sense and Etiquette

A confused Senator unwittingly holds the Emperor of Brazil and other White House guests until 3:00 a.m. – Above, the 19th century Imperial family of Brazil, Dom Pedro II his wife and grandson.

Held Hostage by Etiquette

When Dom Pedro, then Emperor of Brazil, was entertained at the White House, he had been told by a confused Senator that it would be expected that he, the Emperor, should be the last of the guests to depart.

The President’s wife, however, informed her other guests that they would be expected to follow, not precede, the royal party in leaving the house. The result was that no one dared to go for fear of a breach of etiquette. But at 3 o'clock in the morning, a tired woman pretended illness, and the deadlock was broken.

Great is etiquette, but common sense is sometimes allowable. – Amador Ledger, 1901

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Etiquette Fit for Royal Visit

The Duke and Duchess of Connaught with Princess Patricia and Prince Arthur.

White House is Ready for the Prince’s Visit 

Simple Ceremonies Will Mark Reception Accorded Duke of Connaught

WASHINGTON, Jan. 24.—Arrangements for the reception tomorrow of the Duke of Connaught were completed by the White House and the State Department tonight. The uncle of one King, and brother of another, will be received as simply as is consistent with etiquette. As the Duchess and the Princess Patricia will not visit Washington, the Duke will go through the program aranged for his reception unsupported, except for the British ambassador, James Bryce, the staff of the British embassy and his personal aide, Colonel Lowther. Altogether his stay in the capital will be brief, and during most of his six or seven hours in Washington he will be on home territory within the acre or two covered by the British embassy. 

According to the announcement given out at the White House the Duke will arrive in Washington at 4:20 tomorrow afternoon. Major A.W. Butt, personal aide of President Taft, will meet the Duke at the Union Station and with the British ambassador and the embassy staff will form his escort to the embassy. At 5 o'clock, the Duke is expected to reach the White House. He will be led away from the embassy in a White House motor, accompanied by a squadron of cavalry. The cavalry will form an escort of honor to the portico of  the executive mansion and will deploy on the driveway in front, while he enters to be received. In front of the porte-cochère the Fifteenth Cavalry band will be stationed and as the Royal visitor enters it will play “God Save the King.” 

The Duke will be received by President Taft in much the same way as new ambassadors are received. As he enters the executive mansion he will be met by the military and naval aids of the President and escorted to the Green Room and then taken to the Blue Room, with the British ambassador and Chandler Hale, third Assistant Secretary of State. He will be presented formally to President Taft by the British, ambassador. After the Duke is introduced his staff will be presented. After this, Mrs. Taft will serve tea for the Duke and the ambassador in the Red Room. Members of the cabinet and their wives have been invited to be present. 

The Duke will leave the White House after this informal, reception is over, and the band outside will play “The Star Spangled Banner.” The squadron of cavalry will escort him back to the British embassy, and shortly, after he has stepped on British territory again, the President, accompanied by Major Butt, will return his “call.” So far as the government is concerned, this will end the Duke’s visit to Washington. Unofficially, it is known that afterward the Duke will be the guest at dinner of the British ambassador, and it is understood he will hold a reception for diplomats and government officials, but beyond his visit to the White House and the President's return trip, nothing was known tonight of the first visit of British Royalty to Washington in many years. – San Francisco Call, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Royal Fads

Barely 125 years after the United States discarded the yoke of the British monarchy, and barely a hundred years after President Thomas Jefferson experimented with his crazy “Pell-Mell” etiquette, a “sham aristocracy” had developed in Washington D.C. and everyone wanted to be treated like royalty. – “Precedence is killing Washington as a place of residence. It is destroying its chief charm. If one thinks of going there to live it is because he expects to have the opportunity to meet in the easy circumstances of social intercourse people who are interesting or amusing or curious.”

Social Precedence Fads and

a Growth of Monarchical Customs at the Nation's Capital

Other parts of the country may be amused by the wrangling and heartburnings incident to the Coronation of King Edward, but Washington follows them with serious and sympathetic interest. Only a few Americans have any idea of the rigid system of etiquette which has grown up at the national capital. The other day, a high officer of the government said: “My daughter went to lunch with the daughter of Secretary yesterday. She did not come home until long after she was expected, and her mother asked her what was the matter. ‘Oh,’ she said, ‘Secretary’s daughter, was there, and none of us could go until she left, and we thought she never would go.’ And I find that precedent is carried out in the strictest possible way all through Washington society in all of its sets, down to the very children.” 

If there are any persons in official life in Washington who do not attach importance to precedence, do not resent being seated out of rank at table or in other ways given less than their exact official amount of deference, these persons keep extremely quiet. In Washington, one ceases to be surprised at hearing of persons of national reputations complaining fiercely because they have been subjected to some trivial slight in this matter of precedence. It irritates a cabinet officer to be put a shade out of his rank just as much as it irritates a congressman from nowhere or a government clerk. 

Precedence is killing Washington as a place of residence. It is destroying its chief charm. If one thinks of going there to live it is because he expects to have the opportunity to meet in the easy circumstances of social intercourse people who are interesting or amusing or curious. That social intercourse is becoming practically impossible. No one giving any sort of entertainment, however informal, dares to arrange his or her guests according to congeniality. The same people must always be put next to each other. The same man must take the same woman into dinner. The same youth must dance with the same girl. And as official life expands the blight of precedence spreads. 

It is difficult for an outsider to listen without laughing or showing irritation, as the Washingtonians discuss precedence and relate incidents of national and international catastrophes almost brought about by violations of it. But as some of the persons who most strenuously insist upon it, are otherwise high above the human average. It would be well, before utterly condemning the Washingtonians, to reflect whether the craze for precedence not a universal human weakness, latent —happily latent —in most of us because it has no chance to show itself. However, if Washington is to be saved as a residence city, some scheme must be devised whereunder precedence, and its complications and its depressing influences, shall be confined to formal international functions for the Diplomatists, who are primarily responsible for the present state of affairs.— New York Times, 1902

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette

White House Mistress Etiquette

Woodrow Wilson had two wives while in the White House, one of whom died in 1914. Up until the later 1800s, the wife of  U.S. President was not the “First Lady.” The wife of the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court ruled over Washington society, as her husband had his job for life, as opposed to the job of U.S. President, which is a temporary position.

Before They Were Called First Ladies, They Were the

Mistresses of the White House

Not only has Woodrow Wilson been elected President of the United States, but, what is fully as important in the estimation of multitudes of Americans, Mrs. Woodrow Wilson, and Miss Margaret Wilson, Miss Jessie Wilson and Miss Eleanor Wilson will move into the White House next March. The place of the ladies of the White House has been kept before the country almost as prominently through all these years as has that of the President himself. 

Eternally questions of precedence and etiquette have come forward. The public has wanted to know all about the daily life and the domestic doings of the Presidential family, the housekeeping woes of the mistress of the mansion and her behavior at the official receptions; the tastes and habits of all the feminine members of the family, and withal there have been at times little tales of boudoir plots and parlor intrigues, although the history of the United States has very little of the backstairs kind of gossip that has played a large part in the histories of the nations of Europe. 

Abigail Adams, First Mistress

The wife of the first President did not live in the White House, of course. Abigail Adams of Quincy, Mass., was the first mistress of the mansion, although in her time it was a mansion in the making, and the finishing seemed to her very far away indeed. It was she who used the "great, unfinished audience room" as a place in which to dry the family wash. 

Dolly Madison was almost as much mistress of the mansion in Jefferson's time as in that of his successor, her husband, and it was she who saved the one piece of the original furnishings which is this day in the Presidential residence. When the British burned the house in 1814 the redoubtable Dolly managed to carry away the portrait of Washington which hangs now over the mantel in the Red Room. 

It has taken a long time for the mansion to approach completion, and no sooner was it finished than it was destroyed by the ruthless hands of the English soldiery. The building which succeeded the first residence was a faithful reproduction in forms and dimensions of the plans drawn by the original architect, Maj. Hoban. The very foundations and part of the outside walls are relics of the building which went in fire in 1814. 

Mansion Is Now Complete 

Then in 1902 there was begun the White House improvements which have resulted in the mansion of today becoming almost precisely what the President's house was intended to be by those who made the original plans for it. It was necessary to relieve the residence of the necessity of being headquarters for the business of the executive. An office annex was built and thus the disfiguring additions to the mansion could be taken away. 

The original plans were studied for the restoration of the residence itself, and the buildings of the University of Virginia, planned by Jefferson, were investigated. A dining room was provided in which 100 guests might be entertained. Space for the comfortable housing of such a family as that of Woodrow Wilson was secured. And finally, In 1912, the office building has been enlarged and reconstructed, so that the new president will have such family accommodations as many of his predecessors sighed for in vain. 

The story of the successive White House families has much of picturesque variety. Not always has the mistress been the wife of the President. Buchanan was a bachelor; he had been disappointed in love as a young man. Jefferson, Jackson, Van Buren and Arthur were widowers. Grover Cleveland alone of the line was married in the mansion. 

Tyler lost his wife while in office, and married again, but the ceremony took place in New York. Benjamin Harrison's wife died while he was in the Presidential chair. Mrs. McKinley was an invalid, as was the first Mrs. Tyler. Andrew Jackson had a battle that cost him more sleep probably than did the battle of New Orleans, a battle over the social recognition of a certain lady while he was living in the Presidential home. 

The Pierces lost a son by a sad accident, and the calamity threw a shadow over most of their four years in the residence. And each of the two last Presidents has had a daughter to take her place as the First Young Lady of the Land, and now the new President has not only one, but three.  — The Sausalito News, 1913

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Washington Etiquette and Precedence

Franklin Pierce and his Cabinet — Franklin Pierce, 14th President of the United States, became President at a time of seeming tranquility. The United States, by virtue of the Compromise of 1850, seemed to have weathered its sectional storm. By pursuing the recommendations of southern advisers, Pierce — a New England Democrat who saw the abolitionist movement as a fundamental threat to the unity of the nation —hoped to prevent still another outbreak of that storm. But his policies, far from preserving calm, hastened the disruption of the Union.

The New York Commercial, in an article on “Etiquette and Precedence,” tells its readers what are the rules and regulations observed, in that connection, at Washington : 

The representatives of foreign governments are somewhat punctilious on points of etiquette, and attach considerable importance to the right of the first visit, and to precedence in entering a room or being seated at a table. 

We believe that formerly Senators of the United States on going to Washington for the session, called upon the President and Vice President, and there stopped, received the first call from all others, including Judges of the Supreme Court, Cabinet Ministers, Foreign Representatives, etc... 

The Judges of the Supreme Court now claim the first visit, and consequently precedence of place, for the one necessarily implies the other; and Senators are understood generally to waive the question in favor of the Judges, though Mr. Clay and some of the older Senators are said to have resisted the concession. 

A concession of precedence has also been made in favor of the Speaker of the House of Representatives, on the grounds that he is next to the Vice President in the line of succession to the Presidency in case of death, resignation, etc... So that the following would seem to be the order of official precedency:

1. President 

2. Vice President 

3. Speaker of the House 

4. Judges of the Supreme Court 

5. Senators 

6. Cabinet and Foreign Ministers

7. House of Representatives 

The Secretary of State, we believe, takes the precedence of the other members of the Cabinet, but we are not sure that the claim is allowed. — 1853

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia