Showing posts with label Calling Card Trays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Calling Card Trays. Show all posts

Saturday, April 13, 2019

Calling Card Etiquette Trends 1903

The hostess who sits down in the hush following the 7 o’clock diminishing clatter of good-byes at the end of her tea, can read a good deal of social law as she runs over the contents of the silver tray that has been heaping since 4 o'clock in the butler’s hand. There is the married woman’s card. It is always a trifle over three inches long and a trifle over two inches wide. Some are larger. Mrs. Hobart uses a card three and a half by almost two and a half. Mrs. Henry Crocker does also.

THE bit of pasteboard is a trifle, perhaps, but it is one of the most significant trifles in this complex world, where the knot of a tie or the size of a pompadour may testify to the wearer’s social status. The calling card may seem even less than either of these, but it tells far more. Wouldn’t our ancestors back in the days of primeval man have thought us a strange race, if they could have known that we were to be judged by a two-by-three-inch scrap of pasteboard, on which only a name— perhaps an address—sometimes a day, is engraved? And yet, after all, how simple a diploma that two-by-three card is, certifying to our knowledge of the forms correct.

The hostess who sits down in the hush following the 7 o’clock diminishing clatter of good-byes at the end of her tea, can read a good deal of social law as she runs over the contents of the silver tray that has been heaping since 4 o'clock in the butler’
s hand. There is the married woman’s card. It is always a trifle over three inches long and a trifle over two inches wide. Some are larger. Mrs. Hobart uses a card three and a half by almost two and a half. Mrs. Henry Crocker does also. 

Mrs. Hugh Tevis has a card that is only three by two, no larger than an unmarried woman’s. It is fashionable to engrave the married name in full, as “Mrs. Josephine Sadoc Tobin” and “Mrs. Henry Edwards Huntington.” This, however, depends somewhat on a husband’s choice, and if he has always been in the habit of writing his name with initials he usually prefers that his wife should follow suit. Both initials are sometimes written, as “Mrs. S. G. Murphy,” or the middle initial, as “Mrs William H. Crocker.” Mrs Crocker, by the way, has no period after the abbreviation “Mrs.” This is modern and smart.

The head of a family often uses only the surname, as “Mrs. Hobart.” but this is not advisable unless the name is uncommon. When the address is engraved on the card it appears in the lower right-hand corner; the day at home in the left. A card may have either, both or neither. Mrs. Henry T. Scott has a card giving her Burlingame address in the right, her San Francisco address in the left corner. If one lives on a street corner it is smarter to write out that statement as, “Laguna and Washington streets, northwest corner” instead of the simple house number. If the card is. to be used while you are away from home it is good form to engrave merely “San Francisco” for the address. A card used in making farewell calls has “P. P. C.” in the left corner. This is an abbreviation of the French form– “Pour prendre 
congé ” or “To take leave.” 


A widow’s card shows her own Christian name instead of her husband’s. Thus, “Mrs. Jane Stanford” would be according to custom, although Mrs. Stanford is in the habit of signing herself “Mrs. Leland Stanford.” The width of the mourning border is a matter of personal taste. Sometimes it is almost a third of an inch wide; sometimes hardly more than a black line. – San Francisco Call, 1903


Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Tuesday, January 29, 2019

The Etiquette of Women’s Cards

“It is considered old-fashioned to indicate the names of both a husband and wife on the same card. As an exception, this practice exists in resorts.”


Calling Card and Business Card Etiquette for Ladies of the Late 1800’s and Early 1900’s

1. The name on a lady’s calling or business card should be printed in a simple font, without any decorations, and without gothic letters. The name is located in the center of the card, the address of the lady is in the left corner. Typically, a business card is three and a half inches in length.

2. Married ladies should never put their first name on a social or business card. An exception is made for widows.

3. It is considered old-fashioned to indicate the names of both a husband and wife on the same card. As an exception, this practice exists in resorts.

4. Before you leave the card, you should ask the servant if the lady of the house is at home. If she is not there, you can safely leave a card.

5. Leaving a card is the prerogative of the ladies. During the visits, the wife leaves not only her business card, but also her husband’s business card. Visiting another married lady, she leaves three cards - her card for her hostess and two cards of her husband; one for her hostess and one for her hostess’ husband.

6. A daughter leaves a business or calling card of her father. A married gentleman rarely leaves his business cards, except during a visit to his single friends.


7. Calling cards are made to leave in person, and not sent by mail. If the health does not allow one to personally bring a card, it can be sent via servant.

8. Upon arrival in a city, ladies should leave their cards with all their friends and acquaintances.

9. When a lady of the carriage set is making calls, the servant carries the cards. If she walks through the city, she knocks at the house and leaves the card herself.

10. If one has paid a visit and talked to the lady of the house, she no longer needs to leave her card. However, she still needs to leave her husband’s two cards. It is considered bad form to leave them on the table in the living room or in the card basket or tray, and in no case can they simply be handed to the lady of the house. The husband’s cards should be left on the table in the hallway or quietly passed to the butler or a servant.

11. If the lady’s husband is present during the visit, he leaves only one of his cards, for the man of the house. If the gentleman is also present, one does not need to leave anything.

12. If the mistress, or lady of the house has adult daughters, the guest should bend the right corner of the business card, thus to mark their presence. The lady never leaves a business card of her husband for the daughters, but she can leave it if the family has adult sons.

13. If a lady leaves a business card for her friend, who only stays in the house, it is not necessary to leave another business card for the lady of the house, unless the visitor knows her.

14. Young ladies should not have their own social calling cards. Their names are usually printed under the name of the mother. If the mother is not alive, the girl’s name is written under the father’s name on the standard lady’s business card (but not on the gentleman’s business card). If adult ladies make social visits in the company of young girls, then the names of the girls are written by hand on the cards, under the names of those women.

15. Older unmarried women, (spinsters or “old maids”) who no longer need an attendant, may have their own cards.

16. If a young lady visits ladies who are unfamiliar with her mother or companion, she leaves her mother’s card, under whose name her name is printed. To let her know that she had personally visited, the girl deletes the mother’s name with a pencil, leaving only her own.


17. Ladies who have received a calling card, should pay a return visit within a week and leave their cards.

18. If a new family arrives in the city, local residents should be the first to make a visit and leave their cards, having previously specified what position the newcomers occupy in the community. Beginners should not be the first to make visits.

19. If a lady makes a visit to inquire about health, she writes, “Ask Mrs. Jones for health.” Having recovered, Mrs. Jones can leave her card, with a note of thanks above the name.

20. Leaving for more than two months, one should personally carry cards to all acquaintances or send cards with the abbreviation PPC (pour prendre conge) in the lower corner through a servant. Thus, they are notified of one’s departure without unnecessary correspondence. This should be done a week before departure.

21. If a lady makes a visit which is primarily for business, she should ask the servant to immediately take her business card to the resident she is visiting.





By contributor, Maria Pavlova. Russian born, Maria started studying etiquette and traditions as a young girl, as it was important to her family. She dedicated much time and research to 19th century etiquette and customs. For a time, she ran an etiquette school called, “The Russian Princess.” Now, living abroad, she offers consultations and conducts etiquette lessons online.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

Etiquette and "Card Droppers"

From the “Department of Stationery”– A late 1800’s registration and insurance card from a calling card order. It is also a suggestion that one have them save the steel-plate for Mrs. William Martin’s next card order.




The cards of the callers are being gotten up by the Broadway engravers in various unique styles, comic effects predominating in the designs, though a few attempts at poetical graces in delicacy of workmanship and suggestiveness of allegory to be remarked. The orders for such cards have been filled by the million. There never was such a demand as that which prevailed last week among the trade in bristol-board. This is accounted for by those best acquainted with the rules of social etiquette, by the great popularity of the new rule of leaving cards, instead of calling and gorging and guzzling in proof of good feeling for the party at whose expense you gorge and guzzle. Very sensible reform, truly— at least so think the engravers. –The New York Times, 1871


Back when calling cards were used more than business cards, the etiquette for calling cards was very strict and well-defined. Here are a few of the rules:
Husbands and Wives–
  • When the wife is calling, she can leave cards of the husband and sons if it is impossible for them to do so themselves.
  • After an entertainment, cards of the family can be left for the host and hostess by either the wife or any of the daughters.
Leaving Cards in Person– 
  • When cards with a message of congratulation are left in person, nothing should be written on it.
Leaving Cards in Person at Afternoon Teas– 
  • Women leave cards of their male relatives as well as their own, although their names may be announced upon entering the drawing-room. 
  • Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided, or give them to the servant at the door.
Men’s Cards–
  • A bachelor should not use “At Home” cards as a woman does, nor to invite his friends by writing a date and “Music at Four” on his calling card in place of an invitation. 

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J .Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Etiquette for Calling Cards and Visiting

A rare, Unger brothers sterling silver, Art Nouveau period calling card tray



VISITING CARDS

HUSBAND AND WIFE. When the wife is calling, 
she can leave cards of the husband and sons if it is impossible for them to do so themselves. 

After an entertainment, cards of the family 
can be left for the host and hostess by either 
the wife or any of the daughters. 

(See Also MR. AND MRS. CARD)

LEAVING IN PERSON. When cards with a message of congratulation are left in person, 

nothing should be written on it.

LEAVING IN PERSON--AFTERNOON TEAS. 
Women leave cards of their male relatives as well as their own, although their names may be announced upon entering the drawing-room.

Guests leave their cards in a receptacle provided, or give them to the servant at the door. 

MEN. A bachelor should not use AT HOME 
cards as a woman does, nor to invite his 
friends, by writing a date and MUSIC AT FOUR 
on his calling card in place of an invitation.


MEN--LEAVING IN PERSON. When returning to town after a long absence, a man should leave cards having his address. When calling upon a young woman whose hostess is not known by the man, he should send his card to her. 

At the beginning of a season, a man should 
leave two cards for all those whose entertainments he is in the habit of attending, or on whom he pays social calls. 

These cards may also be mailed. If left in person, there should be one for each member of the family called upon, or only two cards. In the former there should be left one card for the host, one for the hostess, one for the "misses," and one for the rest of the family and their guest. 

Men of leisure should leave their own cards, while business men can have them left by the women of the family. The corner of the card should not be turned down. 

Cards are now left in the hall by the servant 
and the caller is announced. In business calls the card is taken to the person for whom the caller asked.

What if this card had P.C.C. written at the bottom? “There has been a difference of opinion, too, on the use of capital letters for P. P. C. on visiting-cards, and R . S. V. P. on cards of invitation. Since the time of the Romans large letters have been used for abbreviations, but America now uses small letters, an innovation distasteful to European eyes.” From “All the Year Round” by Charles Dickens, 1882 – P.C.C. stood for the French, ‘Pour Prende Conge’ or ‘To Take Leave’ but many Americans used it for ‘Presents Parting Compliments’

When calling, a man should leave a card 
whether the hostess is at home or not. P. P. C. card's may be left in person or sent by mail upon departure from city, or on leaving winter or summer resort. When a man calls upon a young woman whom a hostess is entertaining, he should leave cards for both. When a man calls upon another man, if he is not at home, he should leave a card.

When a man calls on the hostess but not the host he should leave a card for him. If the hostess is out, he should leave two cards--one for each. 

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man 
should leave a card the day after a breakfast, 
luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess, 
whether the invitation was accepted or not. 
They may also be sent by mail or messenger, 
with an apology for so doing. 

BALLS, SUBSCRIPTION. Shortly after receiving 
an invitation to a subscription ball, a man 
should leave a card for the patroness inviting 
him. 

DEBUTANTE. When calling upon a debutante a man should leave cards for her mother, whether the entertainment was attended or not.

Gilded Age advertisement for calling cards 


ENTERTAINMENT BY MEN. After a man's formal entertainment for men, a man should leave a card within one week, whether the event was attended or not. It can be sent by mail or messenger. 

RECEPTION. When the host and hostess receive 
together, a man should leave one card for both, and if not present at the reception, he should send two cards. 

THEATRE. After a theatre party given by a man, he should call within three days on the woman he escorted or leave his card. 

WEDDING RECEPTION. After a wedding reception a man should leave a card for the host and hostess, and another for the bridal 
couple. If a man has been invited to the church 

but not to the wedding reception, he should 

leave a card for the bride's parents and the
bridal couple, or should mail a card.

Lovely Gilded Age calling card tray with a bird motif 



SENDING BY MAIL, OR MESSENGER. After an 
entertainment a man should call in person on 
host and hostess, whether the invitation was 
accepted or not. If a card is mailed or sent, it should be accompanied with an apology. 

At the beginning of the season a man should leave cards for all those whose entertainments he is in the habit of attending, or on whom he pays social calls. These cards may also be mailed. If left in person, there should be one for each member of the household or only two cards. In the former case, there should be left one card for the host, one for the hostess, one for the "misses," and one for the rest of the family and the guest. 

If a man is unable to make a formal call upon a debutante and her mother at her debut, he should send his card by mail or messenger. A man may mail his card to a woman engaged to be married, if acquaintance warrants. 

Visitors to town should send cards to every one whom they desire to see. The address should be written on them.

“Ohio Card Company” samples 

AFTERNOON TEA. If a man is unable to be 

present at an afternoon tea, he should send a 
card the same afternoon. 

BREAKFASTS, LUNCHEONS, DINNERS. A man 
should leave a card the day after a breakfast, 
luncheon, or dinner for the host and hostess, 
whether the invitation was accepted or not. 
They may be sent by mail or messenger with 
an apology for so doing. – The Book of Manners



Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Etiquipedia