Australian BBQ Etiquette

Leave your phone in your back pocket or bag. Australians love to chat and tell stories and vice versa. If you are constantly on your phone, it will indicate that you are not interested in being there and you will be remembered by your hosts and other guests for all the wrong reasons.

There is nothing like the aroma of a BBQ. For Australians, the summertime BBQ is a time-honored, iconic institution. All of us crave the taste of a BBQ. I know I do! Australian BBQs are usually relaxed, jovial gatherings, which everyone loves to attend. How did Australians come to love the BBQ? Let us head back in time, back to when Australia was first being settled by the British.

The only way of cooking was to use wood, fire and the meat that was brought over on the first fleet of ships and thereafter. Those who became the stockmen, drovers and swagmen (shepherds in Australia), who would drive thousands of stock from feeding place to feeding place, in remote places over long periods of time, would cook and eat meat from the land. Perhaps it was kangaroo, wallaby or their own stock, like lamb or beef.

 To complement the BBQ’d meat, damper (an Australian soda bread) would be made. Traditionally, damper was made from wheat flour, salt, baking soda or Irish soda, it was cooked in the ashes of the campfire or ‘damped’ fire. It could also be used as a dessert, when golden syrup was added.

Though the term was somewhat known as a large, outdoor feast, the word, ‘barbecue,’ (or the shortened, ‘BBQ’) was rarely used in Australia. According to an Australian food timeline, backyard barbecues in Australia didn’t take hold as the social events that they have now become, until the early 1900s. The first use of ‘barbecue,’ for an Australian event is reportedly a notice for the Waverley Bowls Club’s Leg o’ Mutton Barbecue in 1903. 

The term caught on for more social and civic events in the following years. It wasn’t until the 1950s though, that the idea of private BBQs in outdoor kitchens really caught on. Since then, Australians have never looked back. 

 

Here are a few tips when you receive that very Australian BBQ invitation:

1. Reply back as soon as you acquire your invitation. A good Australian host will need to know how much meat, sausages and salad to purchase fresh on the day of the BBQ.

2. Find out what your host would like you to bring. Your host may say either one of three things when asked: A host or hostess may ask that you *“bring nothing.” That is self-explanatory. Or a host or hostess may say, “BYOB.” BYOB in traditional Australian culture, means to “bring your own beer.” Leaving any not consumed for the host at the end of the gathering, will suffice for bringing no present at all. The third could be “bring a plate.” Don’t assume your host will be actually needing plates! It means to bring a dish of consumables to share, such as a salad, a vegetarian cold bake or a dessert.

Popular beers enjoyed at an Australian BBQ? Traditionally seen at Australian BBQs are Coopers Brewery Original Pale Ale, Crown Lager, Little Creatures Pale Ale, Carlton Draught, James Boag’s Premium Lager, Victoria Bitter, Tooheys New, Cascade Draught, Tooheys Extra Dry, Hahn Super Dry, Corona Extra, and Heineken.

Salads commonly seen at BBQs are potato salad, rice, coleslaw, pasta, lettuce based salads with avacado, Greek or even Caesar style salads.

Cold vegetarian bakes can include quiches, vegetables with cheese toppings, vegetable and pasta bakes, roasted vegetables.

Desserts to finish the night are often Pavlova, trifle, fruit salad, cheese platter, swiss roll or chocolate cake.

3. Being invited to a BBQ is an informal affair. No need to dress up. Casual, chic and comfortable is advised. You will be possibly standing on the lawn, it’s best to leave your heels at home and wear espadrilles, ballet flats and even thongs.

4. Arrive at the suggested time. When you arrive you may find a friendly game of backyard cricket or badminton. You may be encouraged to join in or watch the kids play. 

5. Assist the host or hostess if you see that help is needed. Ask though, before jumping in. Many BBQs are informal occasions and you’ll possibly receive a casual invitation on the day itself, or the day before. Don't be scared to pitch in, or to offer a hand. It can make for great conversation and it helps you to get to know others swiftly.

6. What you will find cooking on the BBQ will most often be steak, sausages, marinated chicken, mince patties, lamb chops, onions, seafood grilled and few vegetables such as corn, capsicum or pumpkin.

Don’t touch the BBQ while hot. For many reasons, at an Australian BBQ there will always be a designated cook. They will assume responsibility for cooking the meat to perfection. Feel free to gather around the BBQ and chat with your host, with a drink in hand. The cook or host will be more than happy to accommodate the way you like your meat to be cooked. Taking over, you might find that a further invite may not be forthcoming. Complimenting the chef, however, works like a charm and you’ll probably be invited back.

7. Every good Australian household will have mosquito repellent, in the form of coils that can be burnt away from the dining setting or you can spray repellent during the night. Your host will usually store this in the laundry cupboard, however, a polite guest won’t go through someone else’s cupboards without permission to do so. If you are eating inside, all windows and doors have fly screens to keep the buzzing enemies on the right side of the door.

8. Leave your phone in your back pocket or bag. Australians love to chat and tell stories and vice versa. If you are constantly on your phone, it will indicate that you are not interested in being there and you will be remembered by your hosts and other guests for all the wrong reasons.

9. Lastly, after thanking your host and or hostess, again compliment your cook, and leave at the suggested time. 

* After being told to “bring nothing,” if you feel inclined to bring a gift for your host or hostess, steer away from chocolates, which are too easily meltable in the Australian summer heat. Flowers are also risky, as the heat can cause the petals to wither and burn. What makes a great BBQ host or hostess gift? An unusual bottle opener, personalized stubby holders (bottle or can koozies), or a bottle of wine to be opened and enjoyed at a later date.

For many years, Etiquipedia contributor, Elizabeth Soos, has had a keen interest in cultural customs. With her European background and extensive travel, Soos developed an interest in the many forms of respect and cultural expectations in the countries she has visited. With her 20 years’ experience in customer service within private international companies based in Australia, and her lifetime interest in manners and research, she decided to branch out into the field of etiquette and deportment. Through her self-directed studies and by completing the Train-The-Trainer’s course offered by Emma Dupont’s School of Etiquette in London and by Guillaume Rue de Bernadac at Academie de Bernadac based in Paris and Shanghai, she founded Auersmont School of Etiquette.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

BBQ Etiquette for Grillers and Guests

"The barbecue is not something new.  Since the time when men were hunters and gatherers, the meat of their hunt was cooked or roasted over an open fire for their families and other members of their tribes to enjoy.  The word "barbeque" is derived from the word "barbacoa," a word used by the Taino Indians in the Caribbean to describe an elevated wooden rack on which they slow-smoked fish, lizards, alligator, and other game." —Margaret Visser 

From colonial times up until today, while different countries around the world have their own version of barbecue, the United States has really taken it close to heart and made it a very "American" culinary expression.

Every region has their own "style" of barbecue; from Memphis to Mississippi to Texas to Louisiana, etc... regardless of the region, the passion of barbecue is so vast and diverse, it would be difficult to try to explain, much less understand it.  It goes from major competitions where men will have a special brand of hickory wood chips shipped in, so that the smokey flavor of their ribs will have their distinct signature, to men donned in aprons in their backyards, overseeing slabs of meat and hot dogs on a grill, while conversing with other men, while the women stand guard over the macaroni and potato salads.

Guest Etiquette for BBQ's:

Dress Code: If you are planning on being sociable and enjoying yourself, please don’t wear white.  Any other pale colors that won’t camouflage, or coordinate well with splotches of BBQ sauce, aren't a good idea either. You may have impeccable manners, but the casual environment of a BBQ simply invites stains to join you and whatever you're wearing for the ride home.

Stay in the "No Grill Zone": Unless invited in by the chef, please stay out. For some, that grill, and all that it entails, is "sacred ground." So hands off the grill and please offer no suggestions to the host about how to handle the grill.

Host or Hostess Gifts:  These are always appreciated, but keep the item in the range of a bottle of wine, serving plates or serving trays, or even something to be added to the dessert offerings.  A gourmet BBQ sauce or an expensive BBQ rub might can wrongly imply that you think you have better taste in BBQ offerings than what the host or hostess is serving.

Offer an Extra Hand: Enjoy yourself but make sure you are not adding to the stress of your host or hostess. If they need a hand, offer to assist if you are able (Bring out extra ice, help restock snacks, etc.)

Use Table Manners: You might be wondering, "How do I eat this without making a big mess?" You may not be able to do that. Accepting it early on, will give you the comfort that you'll need, in order to enjoy your meal. Use a lot of napkins, if they are provided.

Whether you eat with your hands or a fork depends on the cut of the meat. Food like sausage and brisket are fork dishes, while ribs are usually eaten "caveman-style." If your host has provided utensils and you feel you'd be more comfortable using them, even though everyone else is using their hands to eat, go ahead and use the utensils.  If, however, you host or hostess has not provided knives and forks, do not ask for them.

If you’re at a BBQ that is serving meats with a dry rub and you don’t see any sauce sitting around, don't ask for any sauce.

If you are vegan or vegetarian, keep your opinions regarding meat to yourself.  If you feel obligated to reform others, do your host and hostess a favor and do not attend a BBQ where meats are being served.

Drink Responsibly: When it’s hot, our thirst increases and before we know it, we have had 4 Margaritas in less than two hours, so watch your alcohol intake.

Show Gratitude: Be sure to thank your host and/or hostess for a great party as you leave. A handwritten, and mailed, note of thanks always shows your good manners.

The "McRib" Sandwich : The fast-food giant McDonald's started as a BBQ restaurant..."McDonald's Barbeque Restaurant" opened at 14th and E streets in San Bernardino, California in 1940. With a staff of 20 carhops, the McDonald brothers opened the joint as a conventional drive-in, serving ribs, beef and pork sandwiches. It soon became a teen hotspot, since E Street was the area's cruising capital at the time. The place was packed, but teens could be a pain. The restaurant had to contend with racing engines, peeling tires and cussing. By 1948, the McDonald brothers decided to revamp their BBQ eatery by adding speedy service to appeal more to the young family market. The "fast-food" business was born. In the 1950s, entrepreneur Ray Kroc convinced the brothers to let him franchise McDonald's, and he later bought the brothers out. The original restaurant was eventually demolished and today the site is home to the McDonald's museum. 

Some Tips If You are Hosting a BBQ:

• Theme BBQ Parties are a great way to make them memorable. Perhaps you can include games or contests to add to the fun.
• A filthy grill is a turn-off for guests. Make sure your grill is clean with fresh charcoal. Have a clean work space if you are having guests to dine. 
• Different tongs and spatulas for raw foods and cooked foods are a must, to keep your guests healthy and happy while they are there.
• Try to have appetizers ready for your guests when they arrive, especially if they have driven a long distance to get to you.
• Try to have all foods ready at about the same time. That way, things do not risk spoiling by being out for too long.
• If you possibly have vegetarians or vegans attending, offer some vegan choices like Boca-Burgers, and have lots of fruits and vegetables on hand.
• Provide lots of extra napkins and utensils.  Not everyone wants to eat their meat with their hands.  Wet wipes for your guests are a thoughtful touch, especially those with kids along!
• Provide designated drivers for those who've over imbibed.  They need to get home safely.
• One final note... Whatever you do, please don't serve BBQ at your next Afternoon Tea!

Reportedly, on Martha's Vineyard, Emily Post was accused of “losing it” when she served members of the Garden Club barbequed meats, rather than the anticipated tea sandwiches.  When town members gossiped about her social gaffe, she responded that grilled meats seemed more festive for the occasion than “old-fashioned ladies food.”

From Demita Usher of Social Graces and Savoir Faire

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia