Business Manners of 1901

It never costs anything to be polite, yet it is often worth a fortune.

1. Be cheerful, and show proper civility to all with whom you transact business.

2. There are many who have failed in business because they never learned to respect the feelings or opinions of others.

3. Kindness of manners is the best capital to invest in a business, and will bear a higher rate of interest than any other investment.

4. Be accomplished, polite, refined, civil, affable, well-behaved and well-mannered, and you will never lose by it.

5. Manners make the business man, and give him the art of entertaining and pleasing all with whom he has business relations.

6. If you wish to change a man's views in reference to some business transaction or other negotiations, respect his opinions, and he will be respectful and listen to your arguments.

7. There are a thousand easy, engaging little ways, which we may put on in dealing with others, without running any risk of over-doing it. — From “The Busy Man’s Friend”, 1901

🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Office Apology Etiquette, 1924

The imperative "pardon me" is not courteous unless prefixed by “please” and even then is not quite so good in form as the first phrase. This is equally true at all times when a simple apology is made.

Apologies, How to Make and How to Receive Them:

Office etiquette for business women

In the carrying out of the various office duties during the day there are many times when one has to do little things that call for apology. In such matters as reaching across the desk or table of a nearby worker to get some necessary papers or other materials one should never neglect to apologize. "I beg your pardon" is all that need be said and it calls for no answer, a smile will show sufficiently that the apology is accepted. The imperative "pardon me" is not courteous unless prefixed by "please" and even then is not quite so good in form as the first phrase. This is equally true at all times when a simple apology is made.

If a more explicit apology is necessary because of something for which one is really sorry, such as the careless disturbance of another's work, the upsetting of an inkwell or any similar accident, it is not polite, nor is it kind to dismiss the act with a curt "pardon me." "I'm sorry, I did not mean to do it," and an offer to help repair any damage will express courteously and adequately one's sense of responsibility for the trouble and will be a sufficient apology. 

To receive an apology of this kind with a cross or surly reply is highly discourteous, regardless of one's feelings at the moment. An apology should always be graciously received, no matter what the occasion, for it presupposes some humiliation on the part of the person offering it and to relieve this feeling in another is only the kind and right thing to do. After this little exchange of courtesies the decent thing is to forget that the accident occurred and to refrain from comment about it later with one's officemates.– From “Office Etiquette for Business Women,” by Ida White Parker, 1924

  🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor or the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

“Antiquated Etiquette?” No Such Thing

Above: An 1889 Western Union Telegram

Many times when I talk about etiquette, people will tell me that too many rules are antiquated in the older books. This is an opportunity to explain to people how good manners never change, only the circumstances in which they are used change. The 1892 article below speaks of unasked for telegrams, which arrived to unwitting recipients with charges due. They cost the recipient money when the recipient never requested the telegram be sent in the first place. This breach of good manners is very reminiscent of junk mail sent and arriving with postage due, or worse yet, unsolicited faxes. In the late 1980’s, fax machines were a necessary expense for running a successful business. By the mid-1990’s, fax machines were extremely affordable and the misuse and poor manners began by just about every opportunist who had access to a fax machine. These unsolicited faxes cost the recipients in toner or ink, paper, electricity and the expense of possibly missing an important fax that you were actually expecting. “Junk” faxes became just as ubiquitous poor manners as “spam” and “junk” emails soon became.

Pay Your Telegrams

No business practice is more uncommercial than the sending of telegrams at the expense of receivers, when they are solely in the interest of the senders. Too many persons engaged in merchandising are so hopelessly ignorant of mercantile etiquette as not to know that the sending of telegrams as described is an inexcusable fault. The sending of unpaid telegrams has grown to be a nuisance of such a magnitude that radical measures are suggested for putting an end to it.

A. B. & Co. receive a telegram that reads as follows: "Send one bale cheese cloth, 2½c. per yard; date bill June 1, thirty extra 2 off ten days." Commission on that sale may reach $1.25; the cost of telegram was 63c., the interest for the extra time 25c., total 85c. – leaving the seller 37c. gross commission. Those who are so utterly regardless of commercial courtesy might be made to respect the rights of others if sellers would advise the telegraph offices to accept no unpaid telegrams for their accounts. This would quickly bring the hopelessly ignorant class to a realizing sense of the courteous obligations due from one merchant to another. – Dry Goods Economist, April 1892

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Reaching for the Right Fork in 1999

Don't know which fork to use? You say you don't much care? Figure such silliness really doesn't matter? Time to wake up and smell the coffee (which always should be served on your right): If your boredom with etiquette has led to ‘boor-dom’ at the dinner table, that new job you covet may be lost before dessert’s served.– Image from 

What Have We Here?: The Etiquette and Essentials of Lives Once Lived, from the Georgian Era through the Gilded Age and Beyond...

It's never too late to brush up on table etiquette. Don't know which fork to use? You say you don't much care? Figure such silliness really doesn't matter? Time to wake up and smell the coffee (which always should be served on your right): If your boredom with etiquette has led to ‘boor-dom’ at the dinner table, that new job you covet may be lost before dessert’s served.

Patti Shock, chairman of the tourism and convention department in the College of Hotel Administration at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, said if a job interview includes a meal out, the applicant would be well-advised to be comfortable with the basics of etiquette. “There have been a lot of cases of people who have been on their third job interview, and it will be a meal function, and they'll do some faux pas and not get the job and not know why,” Shock said.

The list of prime lose-the-job offenses, she said, includes talking with a mouth full of food – something we all know we shouldn't do, but something that some of us apparently forget when we're busy trying to make what should be a good impression. “It's knowing that when you pass the bread, you pass to the right and you never force it in somebody’s hand; you place it on the table. And it always goes to the right,” she said. “If they ask for the salt, you pass (the salt and pepper) together. When eating soup, you don't lift the spoon directly to your mouth; you circle it away before bringing it to your mouth.”

All of which may sound like so much fussiness. But ignoring or being ignorant of such social niceties can brand you as person prospective employers, workers and friends aren't too eager to have around. “People who are educated in this will recognize little faux pas,” she said. As a country, Shock said, we're forgetting the rules of etiquette — something she notices among her mostly college-age students. “Back in my day, when you had the nuclear family that sat down to dinner at night, families generally instructed you,” said Shock, who's 58. “Plus, we used to have grandparents in the home” to provide any training parents missed. Many of today’s families, Shock said, rarely sit down and eat together.

“Now, it’s pretty much catch as catch can.” Some of the details of etiquette are admittedly arcane. But if, like a lot of people, you don't automatically know that your bread-and-butter plate is the one on your left, it's never too late to learn. You can study the basic rules, of course; Judith Martin has even written an entire book on the subject, “Miss Manners’ Basic Training: Eating.”

You can take cues from your more well-versed dinner companions. And while Shock laments that many restaurants aren’t training their servers in the fine points of etiquette anymore, some still are, so – especially in better restaurants — you may take your cues from your server.

At Le Cirque restaurant at Bellagio, 3600 Las Vegas Blvd. South, the staff underwent a three-week training program before the restaurant opened, said assistant general manager Peter Tischmann, on “everything from proper place setting to posture in the restaurant to verbiage.” Daily sessions, Tischmann said, reinforce various points.

Tischmann said that, like all other aspects of proper etiquette, it's important for servers to make guests comfortable. “It's definitely one of the basics, to make them feel at ease,” he said. “We don't want to be uptight and stuffy.” Tischmann conceded that the elaborate place settings the restaurant sometimes uses can be intimidating for some patrons.

“I just don't think they're knowledgeable about it, in terms of silverware settings and what forks and knives to use,” Tischmann said. “It can be sort of overwhelming, whether it be a fish knife or oyster fork. We have a whole slew of silverware,” Tischmann said, ”six or seven different spoons” that may include demitasse, dessert and sauce spoons in addition to the familiar teaspoon.

As a waiter serves a person, he said, they're instructed to subtly explain the silverware – “And here is your fish knife,” for example – to make things easier on guests. Some of the niceties of server etiquette at Le Cirque are things guests don’t even have to concern themselves with. If a guest excuses him – or herself mid-meal, for example, there will be a fresh napkin waiting upon their return. “We're very keen on those things,” Tischmann said.

At Hugo’s Cellar at the Four Queens, 202 Fremont St., each new server receives a booklet covering about 20 points and must take written and practical exams, said Vincent Wiggins, sommelier. Periodic training seminars also are scheduled. “In most cases, at this restaurant, we do not hire a new waiter without some sort of gourmet experience.” Wiggins said.

Wiggins said, “Hugo’s Cellar uses a relatively straightforward place setting – salad fork, dinner fork, knife, spoon, bread-and-butter plate, bread-and-butter knife, napkin and wine glass – and we leave them pretty much on their own unless they ask.” In case of a faux pas — a patron who uses a dinner fork for his or her salad — “we would just replace it when the entree arrives,” Wiggins said.

Wiggins said he doesn't think we're collectively losing our grasp of etiquette. “I think people are more etiquette-savvy – maybe because they're eating out more,” he said.

At Rosemary's, 8125 W. Sahara Ave., service manager Rick Powers said servers spent two weeks in training before the restaurant opened seven months ago and receive continuous training, including pre-meal training before service starts each day. The restaurant’s best servers train new servers. “We also ask them to go out as much as they can and try to feel out service standards and what they like and don't like and bring it back to me,” he said.

Powers said his clients tend to be well-versed in etiquette. “Most are local,” he said. “Most are educated in food and dining.” But sometimes, he said, customers may think things are moving too slowly, not realizing that that's how it's supposed to be. “We're here for you to dine, not just eat and run,” he said.

Charlie Abowd, chef/owner of Adele’s in Carson City, said while he sees most people following the basic rules of etiquette, coping with modern challenges tends to elude them. “Today, I think the common etiquette mistake is that people don't have respect for time,” he said. “And cell phones are the biggest player in that. If you're sitting down and we're having a conversation, that totally interrupts the conversation you and I have.” 

“People don't realize the depths of that. If I got up and went over and sat down at another table and left you there abandoned, that would be the same thing. People do have table manners; I think it's ‘human manners’ that are lacking,” Abowd said. “Everything is going so fast that we've forgotten the common courtesies in life. It's such a ‘now’ society.” And Abowd, whose clientele generally includes a lot of people involved in state government, cautioned that loose lips can sink deals as well as ships.

“It’s always funny when you have new players in the Legislature — typically, new young lobbyists who don't know all the players, who will be sitting in close proximity and discussing openly their strategies,” he said. “I've seen a couple of times when strategies have been blown because of not knowing all the players. I had recently somebody talking about the Leadership when in fact, sitting within 3 feet of that person talking about the Leadership, was one of the Leadership,” Abowd said.

“I went back into the kitchen and had one of my staff tell that person that they had a phone call, and brought them back into the kitchen and told them who was sitting nearby. I got a Little Feat CD as a thank-you.”— Las Vegas Review-Journal, 1999

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Good Manners for Good Business

Every business is pervaded, more or less, by the influence of good behavior and gentle manners. Hence, who can venture to undertake any business except he first acquaint himself with what is right as to his manners and conduct?

Most of the laws of business are based upon the Golden Rule. One who has gained for himself a practical knowledge of this rule is fit for any business. What one of the learned professions would thrive without the aid of proper behavior in its practice? In the physician's efforts to alleviate pain and disease, how valuable to him is a knowledge of what is proper and right in his social treatment of patients. Who has not heard of a physician unsuccessful in his practice because he did not observe good manners? 

Every successful lawyer soon discovers the benefit of good breeding in his dealings with his clients. Who has not heard it asked about a minister, “Are his social qualities good?” —meaning nothing more nor less than an estimate of a pastor’s ability to exercise good manners and genial behavior among his people. Such knowledge is equally useful to the teacher, who must in turn shape the manners of his pupils. Where do we find more agreeable or more polite men, women and boys, than in the clerks, sales—women and cash-boys of the large mercantile establishments of our cities and towns? 

Every business is pervaded, more or less, by the influence of good behavior and gentle manners. Hence, who can venture to undertake any business except he first acquaint himself with what is right as to his manners and conduct?—From “Good Manners for All Occasions,” by Margaret Sangster, 1904

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Manners Q. & A. on “Thank You”

There are those that we need to thank in business. Those people we are obligated to thank, if we want to start or continue a good business relationship. 

A Reader’s Query on the Importance of “Thanks” 

Question from Anonymous: My wife is angry with me because I asked complete strangers to contact with me any helpful information they could give me, in an unnamed situation that happened in the past. This was over social media. Several people responded. It’s been 3 weeks, and I appreciate it all the information that was sent to me, but my wife is angry with me because I never responded with a thank you to these people who sent information. But I have been busy with other things. Am I in the wrong or she is wrong? I’m planning on thanking these people soon. She knows I’m always prompt in thanking people in business situations.

Answer: There are those that we need to thank in business. Those people we are obligated to thank, if we want to start or continue a good business relationship.

Then there are personal notes of thanks that are needed for complete strangers who have gone out of their way to help you. There is nothing in their job description that requires them to help you. Because you are a complete stranger, they are helping you out of the kindness of their hearts.

A note of thanks is needed in both cases. In both cases it is good manners to say, "thank you." But for the people who have gone out of their way, out of the goodness of their hearts, deserve extra prompt notes of thanks from you. They were under no obligation to be kind to you. — Site Editor Maura J. Graber

 
Contributor, and Site Editor, Maura Graber has been teaching etiquette to children, teens and adults, and training new etiquette instructors, since 1990, as founder and director of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette. She is also a writer, has been featured in countless newspapers, magazines and television shows and was an on-air contributor to PBS in Southern California for 15 years

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Corporate World Etiquette Tips

It is inappropriate to break the roll in half, butter it and eat it. Instead, break off bite-size pieces, butter them and eat them one at a time. — Photo, Etiquipedia’s private library

Business Etiquette and the Rule of Twelve

1. Rolls and bread are one of the few foods that can be eaten with your fingers, even at a formal meal. However, it is inappropriate to break the roll in half, butter it and eat it. Instead, break off bite-size pieces, butter them and eat them one at a time. 
2. Don't use a toothpick. If something is stuck in your teeth, try drinking a little water. If that doesn't work, head for the restroom. 
3. Ice cubes are not an edible part of a drink. Don't chew on them. 
4. Men should always wear undershirts under dress shirts. When wearing an open collar, make sure it is buttoned high enough, or wear a V-neck undershirt so that it doesn't show. 
5. Women should choose earrings that are simple, yet elegant, and should only wear one pair at a time. Men shouldn't wear earrings at all. 
6. At a social function, name stickers or badges should always be worn about 4 inches down from the right shoulder. The idea is that people are already reaching for each other's right hand when being introduced, and having the badge on the right makes it easier to spot a person by name. 
7. Avoid sending a fax to offer congratulations, thanks or sympathy. And don't bother sending your resume by fax unless you don't want the job. 
8. To make a good first impression, follow the Rule of 12: the first 12 words you speak should include some form of thanks; the first 12 steps you take should exude confidence; the first 12 inches from the top of your head down should be impeccably groomed; the last 12 inches, from shoes up, should be very well maintained. — Santa Cruz Sentinel, 2002

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Interviewing Etiquette

“Greet the interviewer with a warm but neutral “How do you do.” Whether to shake hands is up to him. Remain standing until he waves you to a' chair. Your coat goes on another chair or piled neatly beside you, but never on his desk. Smoke only if he offers one or says it’s okay.”

Dollars and Sense Depend on P’s & Q’s

It seems a little crude to come right out and say that etiquette “pays off.” Of course it does; but it's pleasanter to think of it paying off in things like good will and social harmony than in grubby old money. Nonetheless there is one occasion when etiquette's commercial value cannot be denied. We refer to job interviews. 

GROUND RULES

Knowing the ground rules not only quiets palpitations and dries sweaty palms. It often lands the job. The rules include: 

1. Dress well but not wildly well. Employers tend to be serious about their businesses. Flashiness on your part, loud socks or tie, a raffish boutonniere suggests you're not. 

2. Do a grooming countdown before the interview. Shoes shined? Chin smooth? Hair combed? Short of drenching yourself with cologne or plastering your hair with stickum, it’s hard to be too groomed. 

3. Before calling on a prospect make an appointment by phone or letter. Never “drop in” 

4. Be on time. If early, ask the receptionist not to announce you until the exact moment. If unavoidably late, call to explain and if necessary remake the appointment. 

5. Don’t “practice” for the interview by chatting with the receptionist. Sit quietly, read, twiddle your thumbs, but don’t leave the room and don’t have the receptionist call to “remind” the interviewer if he keeps you waiting. 

6. Stand up when anybody approaches to talk. 

7. Greet the interviewer with a warm but neutral, “How do you do.” Whether to shake hands is up to him. Remain standing until he waves you to a chair. Your coat goes on another chair or piled neatly beside you, but never on his desk. Smoke only if he offers a cigarette or says it’s okay. 

8. When he asks about your present or former job, don't go into a tirade about your “skinflint” employer or the miserable hours. Don't volunteer the dreary details of your personal life. Emotion (except possibly enthusiasm) has no place in a job interview. 

9. Let him bring up salary. It’s “future” and “opportunity” you're interested in, not paltry dollars. Not precisely the truth? Nonetheless, it’s the impression you want to give. 

10. Don't interview the interviewer. This is not the time to inquire about coffee breaks, desk space, vacations. Wait until you get the job first. Then ask some lesser deity. 

11. The interview ends when the interviewer ends it. He may look blank; he may thank you for coming in. At any rate, don’t press for an immediate yes or no and don’t ask if you should call tomorrow. Your bargaining power was slight to begin with; overeagerness reduces it to nil. – Don Goodwin, 1958

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Courtesy is Contagious, By Jupiter!

At the urging of Juno, Jupiter gives a cranky human, Thornton J. Poindexter, a chance to re-do one particular bad day. The message was to be “wisely selfish” and that “courtesy is contagious.”

Veteran actor, Chick Chandler, plays a man who reacts to every rudeness, supposed slight, or mishap around him all day, with rudeness. 

With the help of Jupiter during his do-over, Thornton J. Poindexter has nicely and politely changed his thinking, changed the ways he deals with others, and has made everyone around him happier, and more polite, as well. Oh... and he also got a nice steak instead of “boiled beef,” his newspaper slipped under his doormat as requested, the new bank loan he wanted, and earned some bonus points at the office.

Personnel Head Addresses Future Business Leaders of America

M. Garnett, Manager of the Alpha Beta Markets in the La Habra area, was the speaker at the Future Business Leaders of America meeting last Wednesday at the La Habra High School. Mr. Garnett showed a movie entitled "By Jupiter” which gave students hints on poise, manners and courtesy. After the movie cookies and punch were provided by FBLA members. –LaHabra Star, 1956

1947’s “By Jupiter!” was produced by Marshall Field’s as a way of “showing how all of us can make this world a much more pleasant place to live.”

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and the Workplace

How to Be a Team Player in Today's Workplace

In many company cultures you hear the word "team" often.

“Our team is working to improve the process for . . .” 

“My team will be on-site to begin the project on Tuesday.” 

“Our team presented the Q4 report at the conference.”

But what does it really mean to be part of a team in today's workplace? How do you work as a team player?

Work as a Sport

There is an evolution taking place in work environments today. Lines are being blurred in the segmentation of workers. Managers and Directors are becoming Project Leaders. Offices are now open work spaces and conference rooms have glass walls.

Transparency is key when working as a team.

Each employee - or player - has an assigned role that contributes to the goal of the team. Sounds a little like baseball or football, doesn't it?

By definition, a team player:

• Understands her role and goals at work are very important, but can put them aside to work for a common goal and aim. 
• Helps others succeed and shares credit for successes.
• Wants others to feel confident and notices when it’s time to give someone a compliment.
• Knows and follows the rules.
• Has an encouraging and positive attitude.
• Listens and is friendly. 
• Lends a helping hand. 
• Doesn’t hold anyone back by failing to perform duties.
• Is honest and forthcoming. 
• Is always punctual!

When a company department acts as a team, work doesn't stop - the ball doesn't get dropped - just because one player drops out for a time. It's an effective concept, but how does this relate to etiquette?


The Ultimate Etiquette-ful Person

Mere conventions, mere formal ceremonies, do not indicate good manners. Good manners are the result of an unselfish desire to avoid annoying others and to give pleasure to one’s associates. 

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1912

When you demonstrate and practice etiquette, you place concern for others first in a given situation, while remaining true to yourself. Though carrying through with your assigned roles in a work environment and being polite and courteous is important, it does not qualify you as a team player.

A team player takes on the equivalent of hosting roles. That is, regardless of the role you play, you help create an atmosphere of good will. You greet others, make everyone feel welcome, and are observant when it comes to others' needs. You don’t hesitate to share information and help direct when necessary.

In this sense, members of the team share in leadership. They also:

• Do their jobs in a timely and reliable way. 
• Are constant learners, keeping eyes open for other views and ways things might be accomplished.
• Acknowledge the leadership roles of others.
• Give feedback at appropriate times. 
• Take turns with office responsibilities.
• Appreciate and value differences of personality and working styles of other team members.
• Are attune to the maxim of “live and let live,” never participating in idle gossip and minding other people’s business. 
• Quick to look for and congratulate or affirm their associates on successes.
• Use power words (otherwise known as “magic words”) of proper acknowledgement: “Thank you! … You are welcome. … I’m happy to do it. ... Please forgive a mistake I just made.”
• Volunteer to take on extra roles to help the team out and advance shared goals.

The Advantages of a Team Player

Employers are looking for people who are capable of working in a cooperative environment. This trend is sure to continue as companies shift toward a more "open" work culture.

A productive member of a team earns a good reputation over time. Regardless of the speed at which you advance or succeed in your job, or even move on to other opportunities, the ability to function well in your group will bring positive recognition.

Meet our newest contributor, Candace Smith... A retired, national award-winning secondary school educator, Candace Smith teaches university students and professionals the soft skills of etiquette and protocol. She found these skills necessary in her own life after her husband received international recognition in 2002. Plunged into a new “normal” of travel and formal social gatherings with global leaders, she discovered how uncomfortable she was in many important social situations. After extensive training in etiquette and protocol, Candace realized a markedly increased confidence level in meeting and greeting and dining skills and was inspired to share these skills that will help others gain comfort and confidence in dining and networking situations. Learn more at http://www.candacesmithetiquette.com/

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber of The RSVP Institute of Etiquette, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Timeless Business Etiquette

“Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office.” – Miss Wava McCullough

Commercial Club sponsors “Etiquette”

Sponsored by the Commerce Club, various articles are to appear in the Corsair from time to time on “Etiquette.” The first article, below, by Miss Wava McCullough, commercial art instructor, is on “Business Etiquette.” Later articles will be on etiquette at games (sportsmanship), etiquette at dances, and etiquette on the campus. 

Business Etiquette  

Making Contacts 

Determine the type of job you want. Talk to your friends. What do they do? Discuss it with your instructors. Do research reading. What kind of a firm do you want to work in? Don't rely on your friends to get you a job. Use business associates for contacts. Use agencies. If you must make a “cold” contact, plan your approach. 

Attitude Is Important 

Don't be a clock-watcher. Try to do more than is asked of you. Make an effort to familiarize yourself with terms needed in office use. Admit mistakes. Think of your job as a stepping-stone to a better job. A job is what you make it. Sit and stagnate or develop it and in so doing advance yourself. You do yourself a favor by making yourself a better-than-average employee. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

You and the Business World 

Appearance gives color to an office. Cleanliness and neatness are more important than expensive clothes. Extreme lines and bright colors are distracting in an office. Wear simple, well-pressed clothes —no bobby socks or excessive jewelry. Give special attention to hair and hands. 

Habits 

Be on time. Gum chewing and nibbling are not allowed. Don't slouch. Avoid mannerisms — hair twisting, and leg winding. Use the office phone in emergency only. Smile, be pleasant. Don't complain. Listen, do not talk too much. 

Policy 

Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office. – The Corsair, 1945

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Exacting Etiquette for Employment

“Amanuensis” – One who is an artistic or literary assistant. In particular one who can take dictation or copy manuscripts. – He should be a good penman, of agreeable address and genteel appearance, fond of composing, and apt at learning to write in cipher. He should have a smattering of French, and be familiar with the forms and etiquette of correspondence.

An Exacting Miss? Or a Hoax? 

If we are much mistaken the following advertisement for a nice young man, which appeared in the Cleaveland Plain Dealer, was rather a hoax:

A lady, temporarily obliged to lay aside the duties and pleasures of writing, wishes to engage the leisure hours of a young gentleman in the duties of an amanuensis. He should be a good penman, of agreeable address and genteel appearance, fond of composing, and apt at learning to write in cipher. He should have a smattering of French, and be familiar with the forms and etiquette of correspondence. When not employed in writing, he will be expected to read with good taste and expression, be fond of poetry and music — to converse with gayety and spirit, and be familiar with cribbage and back-gammon. The compensation will be handsome, and no person need apply who is not neat in dress, younger than thirty, and an enemy to tobacco, poor puns, and the conventionalities of society. Communications with specimens of style, etc., directed to 'H, box 566, Cleveland post office,' will be promptly answered by appointment of time and place of interview. – The Weekly Alta, 1869

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Business Etiquette Advice

Attitude is important. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

Making Contacts 

Determine the type of job you want. Talk to your friends. What do they do? Discuss it with your instructors. Do research reading. What kind of a firm do you want to work in? Don't rely on your friends to get you a job. Use business associates for contacts. Use agencies. If you must make a "cold" contact, plan your approach. 

Attitude Is Important 

Don't be a clock-watcher. Try to do more than is asked of you. Make an effort to familiarize yourself with terms needed in office use. Admit mistakes. Think of your job as a stepping-stone to a better job. A job is what you make it. Sit and stagnate or develop it and in so doing advance yourself. You do yourself a favor by making yourself a better-than-average employee. Impress the boss with the quality of your work rather than your personality. Be ambitious but don't push yourself on others.

You and the Business World 

Appearance gives color to an office. Cleanliness and neatness are more important than expensive clothes. Extreme lines and bright colors are distracting in an office. Wear simple, well-pressed clothes —no bobby socks or excessive jewelry. Give special attention to hair and hands. 

Habits 

Be on time. Gum chewing and nibbling are not allowed. Don't slouch. Avoid mannerisms—hair twisting, and leg winding. Use the office phone in emergency only. Smile, be pleasant. Don't complain. Listen, do not talk too much. 

Policy 

Keep private life to yourself. Avoid office politics and religious discussions. Keep business life and recreation separate. Don't be interested in other people's work at the office. – The Corsair, Volume 17, 1945

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1912 Office Etiquette Advice

"Be Courteous and Considerate" 

"DROP FASCINATIONS IN BUSINESS"

Advice to Women,

 by Stage Actress, Rose Curry

"Forget to be fascinating when you go into an office. This," says Rose Curry, "Is the keynote to success for business women. The etiquette of the office is clearly drawn and it is quite different from the etiquette of society, although its restrictions are along somewhat different lines."

"Girls who would succeed and would keep the respect of others, as well as maintaining their own personal pride, should lay aside those little airs and fetching ways that are so becoming in the drawing room or parlour. 

Do not remind men with whom you come in contact that you are a woman. But do not go to the other extreme. Be courteous and considerate, but do nothing that will appear to be a bid for homage from your male associates in the office. 

What about office flirtations? "Well, I wasn’t in an office very long, but I think that all employers know by the manner of the girl, whether she is there for work or frivolities, and the serious minded, earnest girl who desires to support herself in a dignified businesslike manner, may do so without thought of interruption.” — Los Angeles Angeles Herald, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Office Party Etiquette

Remember... You're going to have to go on dealing with these people in a businesslike way ever after!

The Office Party

The office party is supposed to be a time when superiors and subordinates meet socially. Actually the whole institution is loaded with problems. Remember that the salesman on whose shoulder you've poured out your problems, or the typist whose been kissed among the file cabinets, will be back at their desks on Monday, and that you're going to have to go on dealing with these people in a businesslike way ever after. So dress up and have fun, but don't drink beyond the point of discretion (whiskey in paper cups is bound to be treacherous.)

The point of discretion could be defined as the point beyond which you're going to feel mighty foolish facing all those people the next day. Remember, the young man in the shipping department that you've always thought attractive, is still going to be married on Monday. And the girl down the hall that you've always distrusted will be no more discrete with all your personal business than she's always been with other juicy tidbits of gossip. — From "Etiquette" by Frances Benton, 1956

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Moderator and Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

A Tale of Poor Business Etiquette

"Politeness goes far, yet costs nothing." — Author and Reformer, Samuel Smiles

"Customers may forget what you said but they'll never forget how you made them feel." Unknown — "May I venture to inquire your name?" asked the lady of the house. "Oh, any name will do for me; the name of the book is of a good deal more importance to you..." 

Peddling Etiquette:

A Dealer in the Commodity Rebuked

For Poor Manners

Yesterday a Carson lady was called to the door by the ring of the bell, and as she opened the door a tall man with a book under his arm glided into the hall, hung his hat on the rack and slid rapidly into the parlor. "Madame," he said, as he cast his frame into an easy chair, "I'm selling a very valuable book and it only costs two dollars and a half."

"May I venture to inquire your name?" asked the lady of the house. "Oh, any name will do for me; the name of the book is of a good deal more importance to you. I am selling a work on etiquette, teaches you how to act in polite society, treats of good manners, how to receive company, etc..., etc..." "Does it treat of making calls and the like?" "Ah, Madame, I should say so. Devotes five chapters to the latest rules governing calling." And the man opened his sample with a broad grin.

"Does it have any suggestions as to how a strange man should act when he enters a lady's parlor without an invitation and prior to an introduction?" and she fixed a calm look upon the party in the easy chair. The party in the easy chair folded up his sample, moved gracefully to the hat- rack and made toward the gate. — The Carson Appeal, 1884

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber is the Site Moderator and Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Fortunes Made from Good Manners

British statesman, Philip Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield (1694-1733). 

FORTUNES MADE BY PLEASING MANNERS

Pleasing manners have made the fortunes of men in all professions and in every walk of life—of lawyers, doctors, clergymen, merchants, clerks and mechanics—and instances of this are so numerous that they may be recalled by almost any person. The politician who has the advantage of a courteous, graceful and pleasing manner finds himself an easy winner in the race with rival candidates, for every voter with whom he speaks becomes instantly his friend. 

Civility is to a man what beauty is to a woman. It creates an instantaneous impression in his behalf, while gruffness or coarseness excites as quick a prejudice against him. It is an ornament, worth more as a means of winning favor than the finest clothes and jewels ever worn. 

Lord Chesterfield said the art of pleasing is, in truth, the art of rising, of distinguishing one's self, of making a figure and a fortune in the world. Some years ago a drygoods salesman in a London shop had acquired such a reputation for courtesy and exhaustless patience, that it was said to be impossible to provoke from him any expression of irritability, or the smallest symptom of vexation. 

A lady of rank learning of his wonderful equanimity, determined to put it to the test by all the annoyances with which a veteran shop-visitor knows how to tease a shopman. She failed in her attempt to vex or irritate him, and thereupon set him up in business. He rose to eminence in trade, and the main spring of his later, as of his earlier career, was politeness. Hundreds of men, like this salesman, have owed their start in life wholly to their pleasing address and manners.   

CULTIVATION OF GOOD MANNERS 

The cultivation of pleasing, affable manners should be an important part of the education of every person of whatever calling or station in life. Many people think that if they have only the substance, the form is of little consequence. But manners are a compound of spirit and form—spirit acted into form. 

The first law of good manners, which epitomizes all the rest is, "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." True courtesy is simply the application of this golden rule to all our social conduct, or, as it has been happily defined, "real kindness, kindly expressed." It may be met in the hut of the Arab, in the courtyard of the Turk, in the hovel of the freedman, and the cottage of the Irishman. 

Even Christian men sometimes fail in courtesy, deeming it a mark of weakness, or neglecting it from mere thoughtlessness. Yet when we find this added to the other virtues of the Christian, it will be noted that his influence for good upon others has been powerfully increased, for it was by this that he obtained access to the hearts of others. An old English writer said reverently of our Saviour: "He was the first true gentleman that ever lived." The influence of many good men would be more than doubled if they could manage to be less stiff and more elastic. 

Gentleness in society, it has been truly said, "is like the silent influence of light which gives color to all nature; it is far more powerful than loudness or force, and far more fruitful. It pushes its way silently and persistently like the tiniest daffodil in spring, which raises the clod and thrusts it aside by the simple persistence of growing."                     

Sir Philip Sidney (1554 –1586) was an English poet, courtier, and soldier. He is remembered today, as one of the most prominent figures of the Elizabethan Age. 

POLITENESS 

Politeness is kindness of manner. This is the outgrowth of kindness of heart, of nobleness, and of courage. But in some persons we find an abundance of courage, nobleness and kindness of heart, without kindness of manner, and we can only think and speak of them as not only impolite, but even rude and gruff. 

Such a man was Dr. Johnson, whose rudeness secured for him the nickname of Ursa Major, and of whom Goldsmith truthfully remarked, "No man alive has a more tender heart; he has nothing of the bear about him but his skin." To acquire that ease and grace of manners which is possessed by and which distinguishes every well-bred person, one must think of others rather than of himself, and study to please them even at his own inconvenience. 

"Do unto others as you would that others should do unto you"—the golden rule of life—is also the law of politeness, and such politeness implies self-sacrifice, many struggles and conflicts. It is an art and tact, rather than an instinct and inspiration. 

An eminent divine has said: "A noble and attractive every-day bearing comes of goodness, of sincerity, of refinement. And these are bred in years, not moments. The principle that rules our life is the sure posture-master. Sir Philip Sidney was the pattern to all England of a perfect gentleman; but then he was the hero that, on the field of Zutphen, pushed away the cup of cold water from his own fevered and parched lips, and held it out to the dying soldier at his side." A Christian by the very conditions of his creed, and the obligations of his faith is, of necessity, in mind and soul—and therefore in word and act—a gentleman, but a man may be polite without being a Christian.

From John H. Young's 1879, “Our Deportment / Or the Manners, Conduct and Dress of the Most Refined Society.”