Cale-Assiette and French Etiquette

Among the small objects found in flea markets, people are intrigued by funny little glass tabs with notches. Some sellers believe these to be knife holders. But they are not very practical for that use. They are, in fact, cale-assiette or ‘plate holders’ — inclined planes with notches, allowing to slightly raise a plate on one side. What purpose? They were very useful when eating artichokes or asparagus. Very fashionable at the end of the 19th beginning of the 20th century, these objects fell a little in obsolescence, although it is still possible to get some. Manufactured by the majority of large French glass and crystal glassworks, they could also be made of silver and other metals or porcelain.” These appeared in the old catalogs including that of Baccarat, but under the name ‘plate holder’. — information from Andre Ganter of  Verrelene

The Baccarat cale-assiette shown above, and others like it, were produced and used at French tables not so long ago, but have become all but forgotten. Unsure regarding the etiquette of cale-assiette, as Site Editor for Etiquipedia, I decided to ask the debonair, Guillaume Rué de Bernadac, of Academie de Bernadac about them. 

Guillaume is one of the most sought after etiquette instructors in the world — Etiquette runs in his blood. His great-grandfather tutored Moroccan royalty. Cale-Assiette are so archaic, even Guillaume, who learned etiquette at a very early age, admitted he had to ask family members for more details on them. He has not seen them used in many years.

I have a lovely box of Baccarat cale-assiette, but I have never found information on exactly how they were used, so I had several etiquette questions for Guillaume: 

• Were cale-assiette part of mid-19th century French place settings? 
• If not part of each place setting, were cale-assiette brought out to the table by the server? 
• Did the server prop the dish up on one side for each diner? 
• If the server did not, did the dinner guest prop up one side of the plate? 
• Were cale-assiette ever used for tilting soup plates or bowls of soup?

Baccarat cale-assiette tilting a plate of asparagus with  sauce —According to Guillaume, cale-assiette, can mean two different things. “What we nowadays call “cale-assiette” in French can designate either something to tilt the plate or something to sort plates out on the table.” Adding that they were, “very trendy during the second part of the 19th century and early 20th. There are some at my grand-mother’s and it’s not uncommon to see a few of them at some flea markets in France.”

“The staff would place one on the table first and then the plate on top of it. The guest could potentially place the plate higher on the ’steps’ at the end of the meal to have more sauce...”

And the etiquette for their use? “They were indeed specifically for artichokes and asparagus, and any other type of dishes which were supposed to be served with a sauce and dipped in with the fingers. For private use mostly, in the bourgeoise familles, the staff would place one on the table first and then the plate on top of it. The guest could potentially place the plate higher on the ’steps’ at the end of the meal to have more sauce collected. It was removed once the dish was finished.” 

Cale-Assiette do work well when eating soup, provided one is eating soup from the olde-fashioned, low and wide, soup “plates” as opposed to soup bowls, as cale-assiette will easily tip a deeper soup bowls over if moved too far under one side of the bowl.

Guillaume Rué de Bernadac is the President & Founding Director of the luxury etiquette institution, Académie de Bernadac in Shanghai and Paris. He has been featured in Michelin Guide, L’Officiel, Global Times, The Guardian, M6, CNN, etc... Académie de Bernadac

The Verrelène company was created in 2011. The blog provides all of our research on antiques and flea markets, in the form of small notices sometimes also published in the regional press (Vosges Matin, l'Echo des Vosges and Vosges Info). The illustrations used generally come from our personal documentation and our photos. When we use illustrations and / or extracts from articles, we generally put references. If we forgot to quote this or that person or reference, please be so kind as to let us know so that we can correct our mistakes and give back to Caesar what belongs to him.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Finger-Bowls Won’t Replace Napkins

He is doing this incorrectly– One is only supposed to dip the fingers of one hand at a time into the bowl, and then, the other. Never should one dip both of their hands into the finger bowl at one time.

The practice, which has been attempted in England, of doing away with the use of table napkins, is not likely to prevail here to any extent soon. The idea in not using napkins, is that table manners should be so perfect, that the fingers will be as daintily clean at the close of a meal, as at the beginning. But we still have here the woman who finds it necessary not only to dip her fingers in the finger bowl, but to moisten her lips from it, and she is usually a lady in other respects. It is a practice only a shade more reprehensible than that of the woman who uses her drinking glass for a finger bowl. The individual who needs further ablutions than the ordinary use of the finger bowl will give, should take to a bib, and be relegated to the care of a nurse. – Sacramento Daily Union 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Victorian Children’s Table Manners

“If in doubt at any time as to what is proper, follow the example of others of more experience.” Wise etiquette advice then, and just as wise advice now. 

Table Manners for Children

• Drink from the cup—never from the saucer
• Teaspoons are left in the saucer, not in the cup. 
• Making a noise, either in eating or drinking, is vulgar. 
• Always cheerfully defer to older people and to guests. 
• Eat slowly, and do not fill the mouth with large quantities. 
• Eat the food served or quietly leave it on the plate without remark. 
• Avoid drumming with the fingers or feet; it is the height of impoliteness. 
• If in doubt at any time as to what is proper, follow the example of others of more experience. 
• Patiently await the coming of your turn; do not follow with the eyes the food served to others. 
• Never unnecessarily handle the dishes, or in any other way exhibit nervousness or impatience. 
• Do not feel obliged to “clean up the plate;” especially do not make a laborious display of doing so. 
• Do not ask for any particular part of a fowl or similar dish, unless asked your preference; in that case always indicate some part, and if there really be no choice, designate the portion with which the host can most conveniently render service.— The Weekly Bouquet, 1898

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Adding Manners to Curriculum

Study periods will be set aside for “manners.” Just as mathematics is divided into its several fundamentals, so has the new study been classified. 

Manners to be Studied —

Pupils in Los Angeles High School will be Taught Politeness

There has been an important addition to the curriculum of the Los Angeles High School. Study periods will be set aside for “manners.” Just as mathematics is divided into its several fundamentals, so has the new study been classified. The faculty committee that has had charge of arranging the classification in general reported these divisions: 

“The Value of Good Manners.” “Suggestions for the School.” “Suggestions for the Street and Street Car,” “Suggestions for the Home and Society.”  

Minor classifications are:

“Good Manners and Democracy,” “Good Manners a Social Debt,” “Good Manners a Business Asset,” “Good Manners vs. Artificial Manners.”— The Weekly Calistogian, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia  

Fostering Good Manners in Children

The old ideal of training in behavior was based largely upon the principle of the child’s consideration for its elders; the modern principle demands also the elders’ consideration for the child. -1915

Have you better manners than your children?

In the course of a very interesting article, entitled “Your Children’s Manners” in the Woman’s Home Companion, appears the following wise commentary: 

“Good company manners depend upon good home manners. As for table manners, the active child, who from his earliest years has been accustomed to regular meals of simple food with sufficient variety for his health and pleasure, will be hungry enough at mealtime to eat anything that is put before him. If, from the beginning, he has been encouraged by example, then good table manners will be as natural as breathing. They will be a part of him, and he will make use of them wherever he is.  

“The place for a parent to begin training the manners of her child is with her own manners. Whenever a mother complains of the bad manners of her child, she is unconsciously lodging a complaint against herself as a mother. The old ideal of training in behavior was based largely upon the principle of the child’s consideration for its elders; the modern principle demands also the elders’ consideration for the child.” — San Pedro News, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️Etiquette Encyclopedia

Using Mysterious Manners for Effect

In the modern era, would one portray one’s self as an “Influencer”? — Many women are mysterious. Indeed, I have met more mysterious women than mysterious men. The mysterious woman is often small, but her hats are large, plumed like a hearse and generally black as night. Pale is her face and languid her manner. She tries to look consumptive and succeeds surprisingly often. As a rule, she has little to say, but says it in such an awful manner, that it takes on a fictitious importance and for the moment appears to be impressive. — Photo ITV/Carnival Films

Mysterious People Assume Importance 

and “Secretive Air” for Effect

Many people assume certain manners as they assume certain clothes and change these manners more seldom than they change their clothes. Some think it ingratiating to be perky. Others think it more graceful to be drooping and melancholy, to gaze wistfully, walk mournfully and sit as if before the baked meats of a funeral feast. But of all the people who indulge in travesty, I think I get most amusement out of the mysterious people. Bated, forever bated, is the breath of the mysterious person. Directly he comes into the room you are conscious of the presence of the unutterable and know that it will speedily be uttered into your most private ear. 

When he speaks to you he “takes you aside,” so that none other may know that he is telling you that the weather is damp and that there is a touch of influenza about. As he discusses with you such dreadful subjects as the price of hobnailed boots, the fluctuations of stocks and the economies of the administration his head approaches yours, his lips pout secretively, his eyes glance round warily to make sure that no one is within earshot to betray him and you, the gallows is surely in his memory. He wishes to avoid it; he wishes—kindly wishes—to save you from it also. Meet him halfway, it is such fun to do that. He responds sensitively to the slightest mysterious encouragement and thinks he is impressing you and that you believe him to be a strange and remarkable personage and that you will go away and say: “Glad I met John Smith. Interesting man. Not every day you come across a man like that.” 

Many women are mysterious. Indeed, I have met more mysterious women than mysterious men. The mysterious woman is often small, but her hats are large, plumed like a hearse and generally black as night. Pale is her face and languid her manner. She tries to look consumptive and succeeds surprisingly often. As a rule, she has little to say, but says it in such an awful manner, that it takes on a fictitious importance and for the moment appears to be impressive. Think over your acquaintances and friends. Are not some of them mysterious, and are not they highly considered? Are are not they called “interesting” on that account? There are many spurious beings in the social world, yet few things are more spurious than that reputation for being interesting which is gained by the mysterious manner. And half of the world at least is tricked, for everyday perkiness is called brilliance, mystery wisdom, assurance greatness and the puppet in the mask a giant in the sunshine. - Robert Lichens in Chicago Tribune, 1905

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

A Respiratory Etiquette Debate

The consensus of the etiquette experts is that a yawn or a sneeze is only one degree removed from the gravest of all social errors – eating peas with a knife. – Photo source, Pinterest 

WASHINGTON, Oct. 18– Just as the nation was moving safely out of the hay-fever season into winter's cold-in-the-head era, the question of the proper etiquette for sneezing arose today and split the ranks of the distinguished scholars who have studied the subject. It seems to be a clear-cut fight, winner take all, between Dr. Severance Burrage, professor of public health at the University of Colorado, on one side, and the United States Government and Mrs. Emily Post on the other. 

FAVORS SNEEZE 

Burrage came out flatly in favor of a good, healthy uninhibited sneeze. He went through a process which we Americans have come to refer to as hurling a defi at the Namby-Pamby persons who seem to stifle sneezes and yawns. The argument runs that as an expression of your personality, there is nothing like a leisurely 80-second yawn, which closes with a contented “ho hum.” Never suppress one; not even when the boss, just back from his vacation, tells you for the third time about the view from his hotel window and how he and the missus got the room for $5 a day dirt cheap, with meals included. But there is another point that Burrage wishes to hammer home:

“Influenza, pneumonia and other diseases often are caused by the contamination of food and utensils by food handlers whose fingers have been placed over the mouths to settle a sneeze or a yawn.” Stop shuddering, Mrs. Post, and just tell the court in your own words why you disagree with the doctor. The witness testifies that sneezes and yawns must be suppressed at any cost or the social fabric of the nation will collapse. The consensus of the etiquette experts is that a yawn or a sneeze is only one degree removed from the gravest of all social errors – eating peas with a knife. To the support of the etiquette experts rushes the United States public health service with a charming little essay on how influenza germs leap from yawn to yawn and from sneeze to sneeze. The author writes lyrically:

ONLY ONE VOICE

“True, I am only one voice, but I lift up that voice like a foghorn on a misty morning to protest against the habit of the tobacco clerks who dampen their fingers on their tongues and then serve a harmless customer with a package of cigarettes.” But the public health service goes even further. Not only does it want to suppress yawns and sneezes, but it wants to do something about kissing too. “The Chinese custom,” the essay continues, “of bowing and shaking one's own hand is far more desirable from a sanitary standpoint.” Begging your pardon, United States public health service, but the comment that comes readily to the mind is: “Kerchoo!” — By Harry Ferguson (United Press Correspondent), 1933

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

CDC Respiratory Etiquette

How they practiced respiratory etiquette during Hollywood’s Golden Age — Photo source, Pinterest  

The national Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) urge all individuals to observe “respiratory etiquette” to prevent the spread of infectious diseases, including influenza (flu), colds and pneumonia.

The principles of respiratory etiquette are simple:

1. Cover your nose and mouth when coughing or sneezing. Do this either with a tissue or your inner elbow.
2. Wash your hands frequently. This is the single most important thing you can do to stop the spread of disease.
3. In a hospital or medical setting, masks should be worn by anyone who has symptoms of respiratory infection (cough, fever). If you are in a waiting room and have these symptoms, please ask for a mask to wear so that others will not get sick. —Anne Arundel Medical Center, 2018

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

1920’s Radio Party Etiquette

This week has witnessed a series of radio parties with a pretty well systematized etiquette. The convention radio party of 1924 goes something like this: In the coolest of sports attire, you arrive and are ushered into a room, “all done up” in its summer-time toggery of cool looking linens or gay chintzes. The blinds are drawn just so; inside, a deliciously shadowy coolness; outside a blistering sun. 

Washington’s Society Opens ‘Radio Season’

Stay-At-Homes Listened in On Democratic Convention 

‘At Smartest Parties’

Washington, June 28.— Nowadays the convention “radio party” is the thing. Coincidentally with the start-off of the Republican session at Cleveland, Washington stay-at-homes, from the White House right down the line of officials, “foreign and domestic,” began sitting in on the great quadrennial political performances. This week has witnessed a series of radio parties with a pretty well systematized etiquette. 

The convention radio party of 1924 goes something like this: In the coolest of sports attire, you arrive and are ushered into a room, “all done up” in its summer-time toggery of cool looking linens or gay chintzes. The blinds are drawn just so; inside, a deliciously shadowy coolness; outside a blistering sun. 

Tea Carts Are Kept Rolling 

The tea cart stands in the offing. Huge glass tankards, flanked by rows of tall glasses filled with cracked ice, await the steaming teapot's arrival. On the side there's a fragrant mass of mint piled high in a bowl of cracked ice; there's a crystal dish of sliced lemon, too. Take your choice for "flavor". A dash of powdered sugar to suit your individual taste, and a straw completes the “ensemble.” There are petite gateaux and sometimes tiny sandwiches. 

Convention oratory, relieved by burst of melody and the wildly reverberating howls and huzzahs of the rooters, furnish the program. There you are; qualified by first hand information to hold your conversational own with the returning hordes who “fought and bled” for entrance to the “garden.” Thursday’s baseball celebration proved a counter-attraction for the White House family. John and Calvin, Jr., have just got back to town from a visit, so the President and Mrs. Coolidge, both of whom are pretty good baseball fans, were reinforced by their sons, who are enthusiasts.— Special to the Sun, by Jean Jarvis, 1924

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia  

The Etiquette of Smiles

"Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love." —Mother Teresa

Language is the medium of communication between people, it allows you to convey your thoughts to another person. So what is better communication than a smile? Smiling is good manners and good for your business, as this is one of the easiest ways to immediately connect with others. It conveys a feeling of warmth and goodwill to another instantly. Smiling doesn't need a language. Yet, many people still underestimate the impact of first impressions which can either unite or alienate people forever, and smiles are something that can easily be misinterpreted by people from different cultures. Here is a little collection of what does smile mean in some countries around the world...

Smile Mask - Asia

In China for instance a smile can mean the person is embarrassed, trying to be helpful, curious, happy or friendly. In the middle of an argument, smiling means that the speaker doesn't want this to become personal. When all else fails, just smile in China. The contrary applies for India, where smiling is linked to falsity.

Even in the Japanese culture, non-verbal expressions use the eyes more than the mouth, which makes it easier for the Japanese to determine if a smile is genuine or fake, smiling is still a way to show respect or to hide what you’re actually feeling. This is also the reason why Japanese emoticons used in texting and chatting on the Internet are often mostly expressed with the eyes than the mouth. - ^_^ - Japanese emoticon to express happiness, main focus on the eyes.

Thailand is often referred to as “The Land of Smiles.” because a smile is much more than just a smile: it is a form of subtle interpersonal-messaging. A smile is appropriate in a variety of different situations including when one is happy, embarrassed, or even fearful, and there are at least 12 different smiles that a Thai person may use, each one having a very specific meaning:
The “I’m so happy I’m crying” smile.
The “polite” smile for someone you barely know.
The “I admire you or I’m proud of you” smile.
The teasing, or “I told you so” smile.
The “I am the winner” smile
The stiff smile, also known as the “I should laugh at the joke even though it’s not funny” smile.
The smile which masks something wicked
The sad smile.
The dry smile, also known as the “I know I owe you the money, but I don’t have it” smile.
The “I disagree with you” smile.
The “smiling in the face of an impossible struggle” smile.
The “I’m trying to smile, but can’t” smile.
It's almost impossible for a non-Thai person to read the Thai smiles, but once you have more of an understanding of the meanings behind the smiles, you will be able to read social situations easier and have a better understanding of Thai culture.

In Cambodia, the smile also plays a very important role in communication. It can mean hello, a simple acknowledgement, but smiles are also used to hide worries, embarrassment or anger. The smile is connected to Buddhist religion, where an inner smile represents harmony and spirituality.

In Korea, smile is not just an expression of joy and humor, but smiling can also indicate that one is feeling ashamed or embarrassed. For example: a Korean may smile when they make a mistake.

Smile Limited Union- Europe

Switzerland, as a culture with some of the happiest people in the world, Swiss people do not smile that much. However, smiling in Switzerland is a way to express respect during a conversation more so than it is to outwardly express one’s internal emotions. The same applies to the Scandinavian nations, where the level of happiness reportedly high, still people don’t tend to smile a lot. The Norwegian government even humorously explains that when a stranger on the street smiles at Norwegians, they may assume that the stranger is insane.

Germans are very conservative when it comes to outwardly showing expressions of happiness, especially via smiling. Russian people don’t smile, because it implies that you are at best foolish or at worst, sneaky and manipulative. In Hungary, people don’t smile a lot, or at least in the capital, people are less likely to smile at strangers or smile at all. Hungarian people are not rude, but rather pessimistic. The same true in Poland and Slovenia. People are warm and friendly, but they just don’t smile. The contrary true for Lithuania, where you should always greet others with a smile.

Peace Broker Smile - Africa

Smiling is a cross-cultural language that means a lot to people living in the African continent, as this is the only language understood by all Africans. A smile means acceptance, love, agreement and its meaning usually depends on the circumstances and occasion, in most cases Africans share freely and enjoy smiles with everyone including strangers. Smiles are also used to solve issues among themselves, and this is an important tool for chiefs and clan heads. They use their smiles to resolve disputes. After solving the problem with talks, chiefs and traditional authorities normally ask the disputing parties to shake hands and smile to each other.


Jolly Joker Smile - America

Smiling in North-America is a sign of happiness and confidence, and the American smile is not as fake as it seems. North Americans value high-energy, happy feelings more than some other countries, so many people are genuinely happy, with a positive mindset, who usually give strangers the benefit of the doubt. There are plenty of cynical Americans, but when it comes to one-on-one interactions, they often assume that the other person is a good person, so that makes them sincerely smile. However in Argentina for instance smiling is associated with dishonesty.The opposite true in Brazil, where people smile every time, all the time, even while they apology, they smile. Brazilians treat smile as their calling card, although historically, if a Brazilian had a nice smile, it indicated that the person comes from a wealthy family.

Gabriella Kanyok is a diplomatic protocol, etiquette and communication expert with more than 10 years' experience in working with EU institutes, NGOs, internaionalorganisations, and supporting professionals. She not only advises and trains government- and EU officials, and businessmen in the field of diplomatic protocol and business etiquette, but she leads the communication department of an international organisation. Gabriella holds a Master’s degree in International Studies, and a Master’s in Protocol, Diplomacy and Cross Cultural Relations. She speaks Hungarian, English and French, and is currently learning Mandarin Chinese.

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette for Strangers on a Train

“I have done nothing unbecoming to a gentleman,” he declared before the court. “In the book of etiquette of 1922, I can prove that a gentleman can approach a lady and speak to her.” – Simply because it is in a book of etiquette, does not make it so. Etiquette books are published all of the time, with misinformation disguised as “the new etiquette.” In reality, too often someone is promoting relaxed standards, as opposed to actual etiquette which has evolved organically over time. – Photo source, Pinterest

YORK, England – Nov. 14. That is is not etiquette for a man to speak to an unknown lady in a train has just been formally declared by the magistrates of this city.

Felix Roberts, of Newcastle, had dinner in the smoking portion of a buffet and afterwards went into a non-smoking carriage, where Miss Monstaglio, of Whitley Bay, was sitting. 

He attempted to open up a conversation with her, but resenting this, she complained to the conductor, who asked Roberts to go back to the smoking section. But later in the journey, Roberts made a second attempt to make the lady's acquaintance and he was arrested.

“I have done nothing unbecoming to a gentleman,” he declared before the court. “In the book of etiquette of 1922, I can prove that a gentleman can approach a lady and speak to her.” But, despite the book of etiquette Roberts was heavily fined. – International News Service, 1922

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Sneeze Snub is Influenza Etiquette

Image

Avoid worry and turn your back on sneezes — In a time when the world faces another influenza pandemic, and briefly changes the etiquette for greeting others (avoid handshaking by touching elbows and avoid cheek kissing by putting one’s hand over one’s heart), it’s time to take a look at what was taught a hundred years ago. –An image of a Red Cross nurse published in Illustrated Current News, 1918. — Photo source, National Library of Medicine

Cover Coughs and Sneezes 🩺 Wash Hands Frequently and Thoroughly 🩺 Self Quarantine if Sick 🩺 Avoid Handshaking 🩺 Forego Cheek Kissing 🩺 Work from Home if Possible 🩺 Avoid Large Crowds🩺 Avoid Others Who May be Sick

The following is a summary of the talk given last week by Dr W. W. Crawford on the subject, “Preventive Measures Against Colds and Influenza.” An ordinary so-called cold may be the forerunner of such specific diseases as Measles, Influenza, Whooping Cough, Bronchitis and Tuberculosis. The germs of Colds and Influenza leave the body in the secretions of the mouth and nose, and enter the body through the same route. It is health etiquette to turn your back on sneezes. Remember coughing, sneezing and dust spread Influenza, and overcrowding helps these along. 

Remember, the close relationship between the nose and throat with the ears and sinuses. Therefore, see to it that your nose and throat are kept clean. Keep away from a house when the lady is sweeping with a broom or buy her a vacuum cleaner. Immunity may be artificial or natural. Keep your natural immunity up to the highest possible point by leading clean, wholesome lives. A great deal to do in keeping well is in your hands. Remember, doctors are only human and cannot do the impossible.— From an article in the San Diego Union, 1920

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Full Time Manners Teacher for School

Students were taught more than common courtesy — “What it all boils down to is attitude ... the right attitude ... more respect,” says Mrs. Hogan, the manners teacher. Because more mothers are working today and the lifestyle is faster paced, manners may not be getting as much attention as they once did, Mrs. Hogan said. The curriculum varied from class to class and ranges from table manners to how to react “if you come across a person with no legs,” Mrs. Hogan says. How should one react? “Physically, it makes him different,” Mrs. Hogan says to her students. “But, inside, he is just like you. He has feelings.”

Poor School has Full-Time Teacher of Good Manners

LIBERTY, Okla. (AP) This tiny community has one of the poorest schools in the whole state, but it has a full time teacher who does nothing but teach the children good manners. It was the idea of Leroy Taylor, the school principal for 18 years, who says there is “a national mood a national need for more respect.” The federal Department of Health, Education and Welfare put up $16,000, through the Oklahoma Department of Education, to hire a manners teacher this fall for Liberty's 210 school children and to buy the necessary supplies. If an evaluation to be made this spring shows the program is worthwhile, it could be funded for two more years. Taylor has no doubts that it will. 

“It, potentially, is the finest program we have ever had here,” he said in an interview this week. “It's not like a good calculus course. It can involve every child it just has to. From the most gifted to the one with the least ability, they all can prosper from it.” Most of the parents of Liberty's students work in nearby Fort Smith, Ark. In terms of taxable property, the school district is the second poorest in Oklahoma. So far, there has been no criticism from parents, educators said. Instead, there have been reports the program is working. For instance, first grader James Allsup surprised his mother by quietly pulling back a chair for his fifth-grade sister at a hamburger dinner. Noticing a bit of food at the corner of his sister's mouth, James twirled his napkin into a point, leaned over and deftly dabbed it away. 

“What it all boils down to is attitude ... the right attitude ... more respect,” says Ann Hogan, the manners teacher. Because more mothers are working today and the lifestyle is faster paced, manners may not be getting as much attention as they once did, Mrs. Hogan said. The Liberty curriculum varies from class to class and ranges from table manners to how to react “if you come across a person with no legs,” Mrs. Hogan says. How should one react? “Physically, it makes him different,” Mrs. Hogan says to her students. “But, inside, he is just like you. He has feelings.” The program deals with a variety of topics including how to accept compliments and criticism, bragging and boasting, introductions, and proper dress and conduct, whether on the playground, on a first date or at a funeral. — 1979

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette and Gilding the Lily

For centuries, books of manners and proper etiquette, had advised young women especially against wearing cosmetics. Lipsticks and powders, etc... were supposed to do no more than enhance one’s “natural charms” and not “gild the lily.” A young woman was seen to be reckless if she were to appear during the day and out in public, in a “made-up” manner. But, by the end of WWI, as more women were smoking and drinking in public, among other things, American women felt much more comfortable in cosmetics, and it wasn’t long before even a few etiquette authorities were promoting its use. Soon, women around the world were taking their cues from their American sisters.   – Along with being the first successor to Emily Post’s etiquette media business, Elizabeth Post, Emily’s only grand-daughter in-law, had a line of “Correct Cosmetics” that were marketed to American women.

American  Beauties

Listen to this girls! A newspaper writer on beauty methods quotes a “famous Frenchman who is a leading light in the cosmetic field” as follows: “To me the most alluring thing about the American girl and woman is that she acts as though she were beautiful, whether she is or not. In France, only the most attractive women have the courage to carry themselves off in the charming manner that is part of almost every American girl and woman.” There is more to this, it appears, than a mere boost for American use of cosmetics. Also, there is more than is meant by the saying, “Beauty is as beauty does.”

 

American women, with or without classic features and perfect natural coloring, do not hesitate to groom themselves smartly and develop ease of manners and charm. The result is that America has acquired international fame as a land of beautiful women. As a woman thinketh, apparently so is she. Courage, good health, independence, cleanliness and—ahem!—wise use of cosmetics, have worked marvels. Only a grouch will raise the question. “What is beauty?” – Lompoc Review, 1930

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Morals and Manners in Schools

A series of recommendations for improvement of California’s school system will be presented to the next legislature. Among the recommendations were: Definite instruction should be given in “morals and manners.” There should be more health supervision in rural schools. 

A series of recommendations for improvement of California’s school system will be presented to the next legislature. The suggestions were made by the California Commission for the Study of Educational Problems. Among the recommendations were: Definite instruction should be given in “morals and manners.” There should be more health supervision in rural schools. Correspondence schools should be licensed by the federal government. There should be more emphasis on the fundamentals—reading, writing, spelling, arithmetic, geography and the correct use of English. 

The law relating to instruction in the evil effects of narcotics and alcohol should be given more attention. State printing of basic elementary texts should be continued but a revised method of selecting high school texts should be adopted. The part time school law should be amended to provide for part time classes in every district where fifteen or more children between 16 and 18 years of age, who have not graduated frim high school, want to work. Part time education should be compulsory for those without the equivalent of a tenth grade education but optional for others. — Lompoc Journal, 1931

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Elements of a Winning Personality

“Tact in dealing with persons and situations and open mindedness are other cardinal virtues to insure an agreeable personality.”  — Professor I. S. Westerberg was in demand throughout the county as a speaker on problems of educational interest, and was the President of the Education Professors of the Colleges and Universities of Southern California.

 “Sarcasm may win us laughter, but not friends,” he stated. “Tact in dealing with persons and situations and open mindedness are other cardinal virtues to insure an agreeable personality.” Another important element is a sense of proportion, including a sense of humor, accessibility though not “gushiness,” confidence and self-reliance, attractiveness of manners, freedom from idiosyncrasies, which interfere with effectiveness, idealisms and ‘genuiness,’ “that translucency of character that attracts people and makes them trust implicitly.” The necessity of vitality was emphasized, Professor Westerberg quoting the late Charles Frohman who said that an artist’s life depended on vitality. Vitality means supreme ability and vibrant energy, although not necessarily beauty. — San Bernardino Sun, 1932

Etiquette Enthusiasts, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia©️ Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Holiday Gift Giving in 1906

The soul of Christmas is thoughtfulness and remembrance, rather than display of reckless generosity

The Social Diary on Christmas Etiquette

There is etiquette in Christmas gifts, as in all the amenities of life. And every Christmas brings, with its good cheer, a world of unfortunate blunders in sending presents. Promiscuous Christmas gifts are only defensible if the token is of no intrinsic value and really amounts to no more than a greeting. It is pleasant if those who can afford it, send some pretty trifle of the season to their acquaintances, all around. The little token causes no embarrassment to the recipient and establishes no obligation. There are hundreds of forms of little baubles that lend pretty color to that idea. Blessed are they who buy Christmas gifts with taste, rather than with lavish expenditure. 

The soul of Christmas is thoughtfulness and remembrance, rather than display of reckless generosity. An inexpensive gift of rare good taste —showing that the giver took pains—is far more agreeable than a mere lump of cost that, perhaps, is of no use to the one receiving it, causing more regret over the waste of money than pleasure. That point is the secret of happy Christmas giving. How much better to be able to send a pretty thing to all on your list than to blow yourself for some of them and abandon the others. The artistic little gift is the salvation of the hard-up who would otherwise indulge in the folly of going on short rations through January and February to make a Christmas splurge. 

Christmas is pre-eminently the children's time and the old people's time. Parents who double-cross their children by waiting until Christmas to buy them what they must have, anyhow, commit a peculiar cruelty. And the sons and daughters who forget their old parents are even more cruel, for while the disappointment of children passes away, the aged have nothing sweeter than being remembered and nothing sadder than being forgotten. –Grace Grundy’s “Social Diary”, 1906

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

1930’s U.S. Drivers Polite

Volvo admits that its self-driving cars are unable to detect kangaroos because hopping confounds their systems. The company’s “Large Animal Detection system” can identify and avoid deer, elk and caribou, but early testing in Australia shows it cannot adjust to the kangaroo’s unique method of movement. – VolvoHouston.com

WASHINGTON.—BeIieve it or not, American drivers have better motoring manners than some of their foreign colleagues. Commissioner H. H. Newell of New South Wales, Australia, after driving several thousand miles in the United States and Great Britain, remarks, “in no country visited did I find more orderly traffic than that which is to be found in the United States.” He compared rule-of-the-road behavior of the U. S., Great Britain and New South Wales and found that drivers in his own state have the worst record for crossing the center line of the road. –1938

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia