Gilded Age Dining-Room Aesthetics

“… the notion of allowing the public— one’s friends into the family dining-room was debated vigorously for some time, and was not common in midcentury. It was the existence of new money, of created wealth, that turned the dining-room from a refuge from the world into a place of self-expression and creativity.” — Image taken from the book by Christopher Kimball, “Fannie’s Last Supper”

As the Industrial Revolution elevated the upper middle class in terms of wealth, the dining-room became the domestic showcase. It was a semi-public room, one that could be displayed to one’s peers. This was quite different from the period prior to 1880, when the dining-room’s primary purpose was to reinforce the sanctity of family life. Some dining-rooms featured stained glass and an organ: it was a place for a Christian family to reassert its bonds and its faith.

In fact, the notion of allowing the public— one’s friends– into the family dining-room was debated vigorously for some time, and was not common in midcentury. It was the existence of new money, of created wealth, that turned the dining-room from a refuge from the world into a place of self-expression and creativity. Women, in particular, were interested in being perceived as artists, not just housewives, and thus the home became a blank canvas on which to paint their sensibilities and notions of personal artistry. 

Of course, architects and designers wanted the dining-room to reflect modernity and practicality, hence the pass-through pantry and the sideboard for convenient storage and buffets. In terms of decoration, ferns and trailing ivy were often used in the bay window, paintings of hunting dogs on the walls, fruit on the sideboard, and partially closed blinds on a south-facing window. Many classical motifs were incorporated as well, whether in the wallpaper or through the use of pedestal urns.— From Richard Kimball in “Fannie’s Last Supper,” 2010

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Gilded Age Dining Etiquette

 

In “The Age of Innocence,” Mrs. Mingott is shown selecting the correct flatware for a dinner party to welcome Countess Olenska.

For the Gilded Age Dinner Party

Etiquette advice from 1894 …

No gentleman will ever place his arms upon the table either before, during, or after a meal. Meats are to be cut with a single gliding movement of the knife, not by converting it into a saw. Keep the elbows always close to the side, no matter how ample may be the room between the guests.

 Iced oysters or clams are to be eaten with lemon juice dropped over —never with salt and pepper. Never play with knife or fork or other table utensils; do not touch them at all, except when about to use them. Do not forget that cheerfulness “suggests good health, a clear conscience and a soul at peace with all human nature.”

 – Gilded Age dinners were multi-course, elaborate dinners

– Photo source, Pinterest

Formal dinner parties were an important part of the life of a well-to-do Gilded Age couple. The rules of etiquette and good taste dictated the dinner table’s look. Collectors can find many pieces of silver, serving dishes and large, carved furniture that were all made for a 19th century feast.

The dining room had large furniture. There was often a sideboard with carvings of dead game birds, animals and symbols of the food to be served. The sideboard held large pieces of silver that were to be used during dinner. Examples of fine silver, crystal or china were also on display.

The table was in the center of the room under a large, decorative chandelier. Ground-glass globes were preferred because they made the lighting more flattering.

The long table was surrounded by matching carved chairs. The table was covered with a white damask cloth that was large enough to fall 20 inches from the floor at both ends. The cloth was ironed and the crease was placed exactly in the middle, going the length of the table. The center of the table held a flower arrangement.

Dinners often had 12 courses, so many dishes were used. Silverware, dishes and napkins were put in place for each course. Sometimes the place setting included an individual salt dish and spoon, plus a place card and menu card.

Large, ornate serving pieces such as tureens and platters were used, and serving pieces were made for every type of food, from asparagus to tomatoes. Most of the utensils can still be used today. Never wash gold-trimmed dishes or hollow-handled silverware in the dishwasher. The heat can cause damage to them. — From a variety of sources and articles, including the Los Angeles Times, 2000

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Regency Era Soirées and Parties

 

By the time Elizabeth Celnart wrote her book on etiquette in the early 1830's, table manners and dining etiquette were beginning to resemble much of what is acceptable etiquette now. Men’s hat’s were to be removed in a lady’s presence and at the table. — “In the 17th and early 18th centuries, etiquette forbade a man to uncover his head at meal times, except when a toast was being given. This painting, ‘Cavaliers and Ladies at Table,’ is by the Dutch artist Dirk Hals.” Patricia Easterbrook Roberts

I will now give a few words of advice to guests; puerile it may be, but which it is well to listen to, and observe. It is ridiculous to make a display of your napkin; to attach it with pins upon your bosom, or to pass it through your buttonhole; to use a fork in eating soup; to ask for meat instead of beef; for poultry instead of saying chicken, or turkey; to turn up your cuffs while carving; to take bread, even when it is within your reach, instead of calling upon the servant; to cut with a knife your bread, which should be broken by your hand; and to pour your coffee into the saucer to cool.

Guests of the house of a distinguished personage are accompanied each by his own servant, who takes his place behind his chair. They should not address him during the entertainment, still less reprimand him. Before placing themselves at the table, they ought to direct him to serve the other guests also, and to retire as soon as the table is cleared, because the domestics of the house ought to eat by themselves.

During the first course, each one helps himself at his pleasure to whatever he drinks; but, in the second course, when the master of the house passes round choice wine, it would be uncivil to refuse it. We are not obliged, however, to accept a second glass.

When at the end of the second course, the cloth is removed, the guests may assist in turning off that part of it which is before them, and contribute to the arrangement of the dessert plates which happen to be near, but without attempting to alter the disposition of them. From the time that the dessert appears on the table, the duties of the master of the house diminish, as do also his rights.

If a gentleman is seated by the side of a lady or elderly person, politeness requires him to save them all trouble of pouring out for themselves to drink, of procuring anything to eat, and of obtaining whatever they are in want of at the table. He ought to be eager to offer them what he thinks to be most to their taste.

It would be impolite to monopolize a conversation which ought to be general. If the company is large, we should converse with our neighbors, raising the voice only enough to make ourselves understood.

Custom allows ladies at the end of an entertainment to dip their fingers into a glass of water, and to wipe them with their napkin; it allows them also to rinse the mouth, using their plate for this purpose; but, in my opinion, custom sanctions it in vain.

It is for the mistress of the house to give the signal to leave the table; all the guests then rise, and, offering their arms to the ladies, wait upon them to the drawing-room, where coffee and liqueurs are prepared. We do not take coffee at the table, except at unceremonious dinners. In leaving the table, the master of the house ought to go last. Politeness requires us to remain at least an hour in the drawing-room after dinner; and, if we can dispose of an entire evening, it would be well to devote it to the person who has entertained us.

We should not leave the table before the end of the entertainment, unless from urgent necessity. If it is a married lady, she requests some one to accompany her; if a young lady, she goes with her mother.

The question whether it is proper, or not, to sing at table, depends now upon the ton of the master of the house. We do not sing at the houses of people of fashion and the high classes of society; but we may do it at the social tables of citizens. In this case, we may repeat what has been said and proved a thousand times how ridiculous it is to be urged when we know how to sing, or to insist upon hearing a person sing who has an invincible timidity.

After dinner, we converse, have music, or more frequently, prepare the tables for games. In the course of the soirée, the mistress of the house sends round upon a waiter eau sucrée or refreshing syrups. During the week which follows the entertainment, each guest owes a visit to the person who has invited them. We usually converse at this time, of the dinner, of the pleasure we have enjoyed, and of the persons whom we met there. This visit has received the cant name of the visite de digestion. — Elisabeth Celnart, 1833

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

The Allure of Victorian Dining

The table was covered with a white damask cloth that was large enough to fall 20 inches from the floor at both ends. The cloth was ironed and the crease was placed exactly in the middle, going the length of the table. The center of the table held a flower arrangement.

— Photo source, Pinterest

The Victorian Table

Formal dinner parties were an important part of the life of a well-to-do Victorian couple. The rules of etiquette and good taste dictated the dinner table’s look.

Collectors now find many pieces of silver, serving dishes and large, carved furniture that were all made for a Victorian feast.

The dining room had large furniture. There was often a sideboard with carvings of dead game birds, animals and symbols of the food to be served. The sideboard held large pieces of silver that were to be used during dinner. Examples of fine silver, crystal or china were also on display.

The table was in the center of the room under a large, decorative chandelier. Ground-glass globes were preferred because they made the lighting more flattering.

The long table was surrounded by matching carved chairs. The table was covered with a white damask cloth that was large enough to fall 20 inches from the floor at both ends. The cloth was ironed and the crease was placed exactly in the middle, going the length of the table. The center of the table held a flower arrangement.

Dinners often had 12 courses, so many dishes were used. Silverware, dishes and napkins were put in place for each course. Sometimes the place setting included an individual salt dish and spoon, plus a place card.

Large, ornate serving pieces such as tureens and platters were used, and serving pieces were made for every type of food, from asparagus to tomatoes.

Most of the utensils can still be used. Never wash gold-trimmed dishes or hollow-handled silverware in the dishwasher. The heat can cause damage to them. — By Ralph and Terry Kovel, the Times, 2000

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia