Etiquette and Life's Advantages

Certain lessons, like dancing and deportment lessons, will be to one's advantage in later years. 

Parents who are overindulgent with their children should adopt a firmer attitude toward their growing offspring and make them take certain lessons which will be to their advantage in later years. 

One young man whose sisters are more accomplished in dancing and drawing room behavior than he is said the other day that he wished he had been made to go to dancing school regularly, because it would save him many unpleasant hours now and would make him a more eligible partner at dances.

His sisters, he explained, liked their dancing and deportment lessons, and therefore they got ahead, while he now has to study the things he should have learned a few years earlier. — San Francisco Call, 1912

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J Graber, is the Site Moderator and Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia 

Learning Etiquette of Esteemed Gents

“Listen here... It serves a good purpose to keep a little mental notebook of the things which annoy us in others.”

Learning Courtesy and Avoiding Rudeness in Manners is Quite as Essential in One Who Desires to Be Esteemed a Gentleman

A High School boy has made a request for a series of articles on good manners. The boy may acquire good manners if he will indulge every day in a little self-analysis until he finds that the fundamental principle of good manners is kindness of heart.

Next comes consideration of others. Never to indulge in any habit of conduct or speech which can annoy, wound or displease without good cause those with whom we associate—that is the platform on which we can easily build a structure of good manners. 

While it is an excellent rule to pass lightly over the faults ot others and to dwell upon their worthy qualities and virtues, it serves a good purpose to keep a little mental notebook of the things which annoy us in others, but to keep these notes only as reminders of the things we do not wish ourselves to do or say. 

A man who was eager for an education and who had acquired the principles of correct grammatical expression was thrown much with illiterate people in his dally association. After some years he became notable for his elegance of language, and his fine powers of conversation. He was asked how he managed to avoid acquiring the slip-shod expressions and grammatical mistakes of his companions.

The man answered, "Whenever one of my comrades or acquaintances uses an expression which I know to be incorrect I mentally say the phrase as it should be said. "For instance, when I hear a man say, ‘I done it,’ or ‘I seen a feller do that,’ ‘I hadn’t got it,’ or similar phrases, I repeat mentally, 'I did it,’ 'I saw a man do that,' ‘I haven't it,’ etc... I never permit one of those expressions to pass by without my mental correction. “In that way my mental notebook is filled with the right expressions, and the wrong ones do not come to me when I wish to speak.” This is an excellent rule for the acquiring of good language. The same rule can be applied to manners.

Whoever wounds us by rudeness, vulgarity, loud talking in public places, or other disagreeable habits, should be observed and remembered only as a guard to better manners for ourselves in these matters. Any bright, intelligent youth, ambitious to acquire a pleasing deportment, needs only to watch and listen to the well-bred people of his acquaintance to obtain a foundation for good manners, and a knowledge of the right things to do. Then by reading out of his mental notebook the things which he has found displeasing to himself in others, he can soon acquire a long list of the things not to do. —Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette Advice for Young Men

Dig deep in your heart first, young man, then call your brain, your memory, your powers of observation to bear upon life

Good Manners Leave Impression Upon Observers

People who possess the refinement of good manners always leave a pleasant and stimulating impression upon those with whom they converse. Even in a brief interview in which only the ordinary events or happenings of health and weather are touched upon, the really good mannered individual whose manners spring from a good heart will find an opportunity to leave an agreeable and brightening effect.

Dig deep in your heart first, young man, then call your brain, your memory, your powers of observation to bear upon life, and you will need no book of etiquette to direct you, although it may not harm you to read one. — Ella Wheeler Wilcox, 1915

Etiquette Enthusiast Maura J Graber is the Site Moderator and Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette's Benefits for Men

We are all supposed to know that the gentleman is introduced to the lady, no matter what his rank may be, never the lady to the gentleman. 

Manners and the Man

HOW many of us think about our manners? And yet isn’t it a true saying that manners make the man and lack of them the fellow? Think if you will how often you introduce gracefully one friend to another. We are all supposed to know that the gentleman is introduced to the lady, no matter what his rank may be, never the lady to the gentleman. 

For instance, you would say, "Miss James, this is my friend Mr. Swift,” but not “Mr. Swift, this is my friend Miss James.” Remember to present young people to their elders and single persons to married. Many persons wonder whether to shake hands on being introduced or simply to bow. If the introduction is formal, a bow is sufficient. But if the stranger is to become a friend, give a hearty grip. 

Ladies have the handshaking privilege. A gentleman doesn't offer his hand first. It is assumed always that a man is honored by an introduction to a woman. This is why the latter need never rise if she happens to be sitting when the introduction is performed. But she always rises to meet one of her own sex, and a man is bound to get up for any sort of introduction.It is easy to cultivate good manners—and it is profitable. As the world often judges us by the cut of our clothes, so it judges us by our manners. Then why not play the game by knowing the rules? Good manners cost nothing, and etiquette is easy to learn. The learning is a wonderful investment. —Beatrice Fairfax, 1916

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia