Gilded Age Practices in Polite Society

A Gilded Age Table set for the second course of a breakfast. – The American breakfast is all placed upon the table, unless oatmeal or other porridge are to be served as a third course. Changes of plates are also necessary when cakes requiring syrup are served, or when fruit is served.

Manners and Social Usages Practiced in Polite Society

It is at the present time a pleasant custom for a bride to announce with her wedding cards one or more reception days during the season after her marriage on which her friends can call upon her. The certainty of finding a bride at home is very pleasing. On the occasion of these receptions she should not wear her wedding, dress, but receive as if she had entered society as one of its members. The wedding accessories are all put away, and she wears any handsome reception dress she chooses. 

As regards a bride wearing her wedding dress to balls or dinners after her marriage, it is perfectly correct to do so, provided she divests herself of the veil and the orange blossoms.

Over Supply is Not Hospitality

Never overload a plate nor over supply a table. It is a vulgar hospitality. At a small dinner no one should hesitate to ask for more if he desires it. It will only be considered a flattering tribute to the dish. At large companies, where there is necessarily a greater variety of dishes, the most voracious appetite must be satisfied with a little of each. 

The French understand better than the people of any other nation how to supply a table. Their small family dinners are gems of perfection. There is plenty for every person, yet every morsel is eaten. The flowers or plants are fresh and odoriferous; the linen is a marvel of whiteness: the dishes are few, but perfect of their kind.

Writing Notes

The writer of notes ought to carefully discriminate between the familiar note and the note of ceremony, and consequently should learn how to write both. Custom demands that all notes written in the first person should begin with “My Dear Mrs. Smith,” and close with the expression “Yours cordially,” “Yours with regards,” etc… 

The laws of etiquette do not permit the use of numerals, as 1, 2, 3, but demand that one, two, three be written out in full. Abbreviations are considered inelegant.

A common mistake much indulged in by beginners is the confusion of the first and third persons. A note in answer to an invitation should be written in the third person, if the invitation was expressed in the third person. Formal notes are usually thus written. It is not considered good forin to write a note on ruled paper.

Breakfast at Home and Abroad

In France the first breakfast consists merely of a cup of coffee and a roll, with sometimes a little fruit. A second breakfast, at 11 o'clock, is more substantial, dishes being served which may be eaten with a fork. 

In England breakfast is a very informal meal, the breakfast hour being at any time one chances to be ready for it. The substantial dishes are served from the sideboard, where they are kept hot in chafing dishes. 

The American breakfast is all placed upon the table, unless oatmeal or other porridge are to be served as a third course. Changes of plates are also necessary when cakes requiring syrup are served, or when fruit is served. – Riverside Enterprise, 1891

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