French Weddings: Etiquette and Taste

The widow at her second marriage must not wear gray or mauve, for such colors would be suggestive of half mourning, which her second husband might not take to be a delicate allusion to himself. Rose color is also forbidden, on the ground that it is too gay. The headdress should be a black or white mantilla, with a few flowers scattered over it, certainly not orange flowers, which can only be worn once on such occasions, nor chrysanthemums and scabiousa, which are termed "widows' flowers."  – Traditional Spanish brides wear black dresses and lace mantillas.  Originally, worn for Catholic church services, mantillas are ornate veils worn for wedding ceremonies. Many times, these are passed down from one generation to the next.

Good Taste and Etiquette for Widowed Brides and Second Time Brides

There are certain rules of good taste and etiquette with regard to second marriages in France which are usually observed by the educated classes. The whole ceremonial must be quiet and unostentatious. The festive preparations must be on a modest scale. It is not considered becoming for the bridegroom and bride to appear very happy. They must be sedate and calm, with an expression of recueillement in their faces. Something is due to the memory of the dear departed. This is especially the case if a lady is a widow. She does not take from her finger the ring placed there by her first husband. Her second spouse would be considered a man of bad feeling and bad taste if he objected to this mark of respect paid to his predecessor. Moreover, if the lady has children the first ring must be retained out of regard for the memory of their father, and she would be passing a slight upon them by taking it off. 

If these children are grown up they must not keep aloof from the wedding party, but must be present at the ceremony. They are not expected to look joyful, but their absence would give rise to scandal. The religious services must be very simple - without floral decorations or tinging. The widow at her second marriage must not wear gray or mauve, for such colors would be suggestive of half mourning, which her second husband might not take to be a delicate allusion to himself. Rose color is also forbidden, on the ground that it is too gay. The headdress should be a black or white mantilla, with a few flowers scattered over it, certainly not orange flowers, which can only be worn once on such occasions, nor chrysanthemums and scabiousa, which are termed "widows' flowers." A breakfast or a dinner follows the religious ceremony, but no ball is given in the case of a second marriage.— Paris Correspondent, Boston Transcript, 1887

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