Table Manners are War Casualty

An attempt at reinforcing some table manners and etiquette was tried by the armed forces during WWII, as this poster shows, but the finer touches of dining etiquette were evidently ignored to a great extent.

MANNERS JOIN LIST OF WAR CASUALTIES

Long Dining in Army Messes Found to Have Effect That Is Almost Subversive 

TIME A MAJOR FACTOR 

Requisitioned Hotel in Algiers Puts Out 1,000 Meals Daily at the Double-Quick

ALGIERS, Sept. 18 — Among the post-war problems perplexing sociologists all over the United States, let no one underestimate the effect of long dining in Army messes on the table manners of our very best young men.

As an excellent example, there is one officers' mess at a requisitioned hotel here that everyone calls “The Berries” because the hotel's name is Tabary. Those who dine in its madcap atmosphere two or three times daily will stand up as one man and shudder at the thought of the impact of their contemporary dining habits on the cool, orderly tables that their wives or mothers will have waiting for them someday not too far off.

“The Berries” is presided over by Mess Sgt. Leslie Booker of Brunswick, Ga., and Philadelphia. He can look any major in the eyes if he shows up one minute after mess has been officially closed and that you can bet that the major will retreat hungry. The sergeant is kind of a man, so when he expresses his philosophy on the non-leisurely dining at “The Berries” it is easy to understand one factor in the helter-skelter gulping of what is undoubtedly excellent food. “Any officer,” he says, “who sits down here and eats as fast as well aim to put it out— and it takes him more than twenty-five minutes — I want to find out why.”

In defense of such a theory, it ought to be pointed out that “The Berries” serves about 1,000 meals daily and time is of the essence. But the effect of the sergeant's ruling on the refined and quiet atmosphere of the tables—to say nothing of the digestion of the diners is something else again. The officers include many Yale, Harvard and Princeton men as well as many who were brought up by the most genteel parents, even if they never went through college, but all that is forgotten. When you want the apple-butter and it is on the other end of the table, you don't ask; you reach. 

When, at breakfast, someone wants the syrup always offered in a flat soup plate instead of a pitcher with a guarded top —some one else also reaches and, as a result, several someones get gloriously sticky. It is all good fun, though hardly good, clean fun. The efforts of the hungry men to make the French waitresses understand their orders contributes further to the air of serenity pervading the mess.

Thus a man who doesn't know the difference between “fourchette” and “couteau” or “cuiller” is very likely to wind up stirring his coffee with a fork or putting sugar into it with a knife. It is all very confusing— and there is always the menace of Sergeant Booker's twenty-five minute time ration hanging over you.

Lieut. Al Paris of Hartsdale, N. Y., summed up “The Berries” by saying: “The whole atmosphere just leaves me stunned. I have completely lost my taste for food and I eat only to keep body and soul together. I always feel lucky if I get off without getting an eye punched out.”

Lieut. Paris feels that he is living through “a huge cacophony of sound and odor” three times daily. Only his complete faith in his. mother's forgiving nature assures him that she will understand him when he gets back to Hartsdale.

Lieut. John A. Santoro of 769 Hicks Street, Brooklyn, feels the same way about his wife, Leonore. “To me,” he sighed, “it is slop-slop here and slop-slop there. About the only table manners I have consistently tried to live up to is washing my hands before I eat. I jump for a place and jump out or someone else gets in behind me.” — By Wireless to the New York Times, 1943

🍽️ Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Wedding Invitation Etiquette

 

What Readers Ask: “I am to be married the end of this month and my mother says that, as a matter of war time economy, she thinks we can get along without engraved invitations. Still, I am to be married in church and am to have about fifty guests all of whom, are to be invited to a little breakfast after the wedding. Won’t you write and tell us that engraved invitations are necessary so that my mother will see her mistake? She doesn’t seem to think I know.” 

I am sorry for your sake that I cannot say that the invitations must be engraved. At formal weddings they are usually engraved but there is not the least reason in the world why personal notes written, by your mother would not answer the purpose. Of course, the invitations should come from her and not from you and if she would rather write fifty notes in order to save the cost of the engraved invitations for some good war relief work, I think you should be content. 

I recall the case of a young friend of my own whose wedding invitations were written by her mother, although they were persons of really large fortune. They did it in this way because the young girl wanted to invite all her school and college friends rather than friends of her family whom she did not know and the notes were in keeping with the informality of the affair. 

The written notes, to be a success, should be well written, of course, and on white a paper of very good quality. Since they are to be thus informal it is better to word them informally— not using the third person—and of course they should be sent only to intimate friends of your own or your mother’s, or your fiance’s. – By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1917

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Etiquette of Service Flag Stars

“The term ‘man’ and ‘enlisted man’ means a person, whether male or female,” according to that act, that settles the matter of sex, Moreover, the act tells us that such persons are all in active service in the military or naval forces of the United States, including non-comissioned and petty officers and members of training camps authored by law.

“If it be aught toward the general good,

Set honor in one eye, and death in the other,

And I will look on both indifferently.” -Shakespeare

Whether or not a woman engaged in war work should have a star on the service flag of her family, the church to which she be- longed or the business where she was employed is a question that has come up for some little dispute. According to the best authorities on the subject sex has nothing to do with it. It is all a matter of kind of service.

The idea is that anybody in military service should be represented on the service flag was the idea of the retired captain who devised the service flag shortly after war was declared. Now in order to discover just who is and who isn't in military service those who have made a study of the etiquette of the service flag go to a certain act of congress relating to war risk insurance in which that body clearly defines just what person in military service really is.

“The term ‘man’ and ‘enlisted man’ means a person, whether male or female,” according to that act, that settles the matter of sex, Moreover, the act tells us that such persons are all in active service in the military or naval forces of the United States, including non-comissioned and petty officers and members of training camps authored by law.

As a matter lot of stars of fact there are service a flags all on over the country that ought not to be there. This does not mean the that persons for whom they were put there are not doing a big bit in the war, but it means that they are not doing what can be called active service in the military or naval forces.

For this reason we ought not to include on service flags stars representing any one on war boards or commissions even when that work takes the person's entire time. Not even Y.M.C.A. secretaries at the front are entitled to be represented since they are not regularly commissioned by the United States Army.

Here is another question that has arisen concerning the etiquette of service flags. Is a person who is serving in one of our Allies’ armies entitled to a place on our service flag if he would be there were he in our own army? That is, may a family with a son in the Canadian army, or a concern with an employee  fighting under the Italian colors, place a star on its banner for that soldier? The answers to that question, according to best authorities, is emphatically yes.— By By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1918

 🍽️Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

War Time Etiquette

A World War I poster reminding Brits that it was poor manners and unpatriotic to dress in excess during wartime —Image from the Library of Congress

“Let our object be our country, our whole country, and nothing but our country.” -Daniel Webster

The well bred woman going the small from town to the big city finds that there are many points of etiquette as they exist in the big city that she must master. And we who have acquired our manners in times peace have found within the last of 18 months that there are many point of wartime etiquette that we must master. Just because we to know how to conduct ourselves according to well bred standards doesn't mean that we need know all the ins and outs of military etiquette or that we will be able to know just what to do in all the perplexing, circumstances that come up because of the war.

So it is that a good many persons, seemingly well bred, have acted in a most ill bred way concerning the fuel shortage. When you really think the whole matter over, the fuel situation is simply a war condition, and to put up with it it as uncomplainingly as possible is simply one form of patriotism. And public spiritedness and patriotism, in in these days, are in the best of form.

So the next time you are tempted to grumble about the small amount of coal on hand in your cellar, stop and think. Just think of anything you want to that will make you stop grumbling. If you can simply appeal to your own spirit of patriotism, do that. If you can plan out for your house some other means of keeping out the cold— like weather strips, windows, or storm doors and or open fires— do that. 

If you think you and your family can keep warmer if you wear heavier clothes, determine to do that. Anyway, plan to do something that will make you stop grumbling about this very unpleasant but seemingly necessary condition. Remember that in the present state of things, it is just as ill bred to complain about the fuel curtailment as it is to eat with the knife.

Now, there is another side to the bad breeding evidenced by the coal situation. It is in even worse taste to further take advantage of the situation of your own ends than it is to complain and grumble. The owners of apartment houses who try to save money by not buying all the coal they are entitled to are beneath contempt, of course. The man who simply grumbles and growls because his office thermometer won't register more than 65 degrees and the woman who sputters because her conscience makes her remember to turn off the electric lights in a room as she leaves it, are simply indulging in a little ill bred— or at least not very well bred— personal grouchiness.

An uncritical acceptance of the war and its inevitable results, has the greatest importance to the ones who are complaining the least. We take patriotism for granted in most cases in these days. But the grumbling patriot— the man who digs deep in his pockets to buy Liberty Bonds and Thrift Stamps, and the woman who works overtime for Red Cross, but criticizes and grumbles over each discomfort— runs the risk of being branded unpatriotic.— By Mary Marshall Duffee, 1918

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia

Patriotic Etiquette for WWI Rationing

“Don’t forget that every patriot in the nation has a personal obligation to aid in winning this war by reducing consumption of wheat to a minimum, until the next harvest. Wheat means victory.”

— Photo source Etiquipedia private family library  

Don’ts for the Patriotic Diner

While practically the entire commercial baking and public dining industries of California, including hotels, restaurants and clubs, have pledged strict conformity with the wheat saving rules and regulations of the United States food administration, and have perfected organizations among themselves to force observance by those who might refuse to do so voluntarily, their cooperation, to be 100 percent effective, depends largely on the attitude of the individual patron, Ralph P. Merritt, federal food commissioner for the state, announced today when he issued a list of “Don’ts” for the guidance of patriotic “diners out.” They follow in brief:

• “Don’t ask for food containing wheat flour or wheat products unless you are an invalid and must have it for your health’s sake. 
• “Don’t ask for more than two ounces of wheat bread and wheat products combined at any one meal under any circumstances. The restaurant is fordidden to serve more.
• Aid in observing the restrictions. “Don’t allow the waiter to serve you any foods containing wheat on the wheatless Mondays and Wednesdays, or at the daily evening wheatless meal. 
• “Don’t buy more bread from your baker than you absolutely must have. 
• “Don’t hesitate to report personally observed infractions of the rules to the food administration, or to your local food administrator. They will be investigated. 
• “Don’t forget that every patriot in the nation has a personal obligation to aid in winning this war by reducing consumption of wheat to a minimum, until the next harvest. Wheat means victory.” 
• The advice to the people to eat chicken and game is a good deal like the suggestion of Marie Antoinette that the people of Paris eat cake instead of bread. — San Pedro Pilot News, 1918

Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia