Restaurant Dining Service Etiquette

There are three simple rules of etiquette when dining out: get fed, stay as clean as you can and attract no attention. –We at Etiquipedia have found that one’s attitude in a restaurant can also affect the service you receive. A smile with an upbeat attitude and good manners can be a winning combination toward having a good time when out dining.

There are a wealth of etiquette books and guides for the dining hour, each seeming to outdo the other in exactness. There are three simple rules of etiquette when dining out: get fed, stay as clean as you can and attract no attention. It is not nearly as important to know which foods Amy Vanderbilt allows to be eaten with the fingers, or which fork to use when confronted by a row of beautifully polished silver, as it is to eat with a minimum of fuss. Remember, the idea is to enjoy the meal, so relax!

Rules for dining etiquette got their start before the 16th century with the development of a tool called a fork. "The fork placed a barrier between fingers and food." wrote Raymond Sokolov, a historian interested in food and its preparation, in an article for the August, 1978, Natural History magazine. But from the creation of the fork and the spread of its use through Europe and the New World. Up until that time, people ate with their hands from a common dish.

Checklist for Service

Restaurants get ahead by offering something unique and better than their competition. Second only to appealing food is good service, say most customers. And good service will establish a good will that will give the restaurant operator's business momentum.

Next time you want to rate a restaurant before taking guests with you check the following:

1. Does the waiter or waitress treat all customers alike, regulars and strangers? You should, as a customer, always be made to feel important.
2. Can the food servers remember who ordered what or must you juggle plates back and forth after they have left?
3. Is the restaurant noisy with clattering dishes or sounds from the kitchen? Is there soothing background music?
4. Are buffets attractively presented and kept stocked during the entire meal?
5. Is there a minimum of foot traffic by your table?
6. Is the waiter or waitress easy to hail when needed? Do they hang around the table while you are eating? Do you feel rushed?
7. Can you read the menu easily? Must you speak fluent French to read it?
8. Are there fresh flowers on the table? A fresh tablecloth? Clean silverware?
9. Do you feel comfortable and welcomed? Are you seated within a reasonable amount of time? Are you seated immediately when you make a reservation?
10. Is the meal presented attractively? Is it nutritious? Does the main course arrive before you've finished your salad or soup?
11. Are you badgered by the cocktail waitress?
12. How is the lighting? Can you see your dinner partner?
13. Does the waiter or waitress take care of the paying of the bill smoothly with a minimum of fuss?

Your answers will determine whether you will make a return visit and any good restaurant operator knows it. If you have a complaint, voice it quietly but firmly to the management and expect a reasonable response. – From The Salinas Californian, 1979

🍽Etiquette Enthusiast, Maura J. Graber, is the Site Editor for the Etiquipedia© Etiquette Encyclopedia